Acting from memories
AN: OK, a quick warning to all those Kurtis fans out there. (that are girls) THERE IS A TOPLESS KURTIS IN THIS CHAPTER! So don't say I didn't warn you.
Lara turned over in her bed, facing away from the television that played in her bedroom. It was 3 AM and once again, she couldn't get to sleep. The television had been on for at least an hour, Lara only staring at it, not really taking in the sitcom it showed. Actually, what was it showing? She turned around onto her other side, reaching for the remote control placed on her bedside table. Sitting up, she pressed the blue info button and then looked up at the screen. Still game. She had never heard of it before, but she didn't really care for sitcoms anyway. She sighed, slipping her hand under her pillow as she lay back down, deciding to watch what the show had to offer. She rolled her eyes and turned it off, not even giving it a chance to entertain her. She moved onto her back, tilting her head to see out the narrow slit in the window, only to see what she had expected. Pitch black.
She sat back up, grabbing a cup on the table and then walking over to the door, pulling it open and feeling the breeze on her bare arms, her top being a simple tank top. She closed the door softly behind her, not wanting to wake any of the sleeping inhabitants of the house. She made her way to the staircase, walking down the steps two at a time as her braid slapped against her back. She sighed as she came to the end, rubbing her arms and shivering as the cold glass from the crystal container made contact with her skin. Entering the kitchen, she slapped her hand against the wall, searching for the light switch that she knew was nearby. Finding it, she pressed it down and scrunched her eyes as a burst of light came from the spotlights above her head, casting light onto the furniture and ornaments in the room. She walked over to the fridge, opening it and searching it's contents for something she could drink. Her eyes widened as she realised how much Mason needed to go shopping – all he had was a packet of eggs, some salad contents here and there, a carton of milk, a tub of butter and some strawberries. Then again, this wasn't his only property he needed to care for.
Seeing as the milk was the only thing it had to offer, she took it out of the fridge and kicked it shut, listening to the rest of the food shake at the force she used. She sat down at the table, leaning into the chair as she poured the white liquid into the glass, then twisting the cap back on and putting the carton down, sipping at her beverage. Rubbing her eyes, she put the glass down. There was a reason why she couldn't get to sleep; she was, and if she was completely honest with herself, she was petrified. To Lara, it was such a strange emotion, an emotion that she hadn't ever felt before. Which frightened her. She had never been in a situation which would make her feel like this, ever. And now that she had these thoughts and feelings bottled up inside her, it was making it worse. Nobody could ever know that she felt fear, it would ruin who she was. She was Lara Croft, someone that was daring and didn't feel anything but adrenaline and happiness when she held her trademark pistols in her hands, doing what she did best; raiding. Actually, she had been like that most of her life. She never really cared to fear something – she always thought that if she could hold her head high and keep walking when trouble came along, she would be fine. But that changed. As she grew older, she learned that the best way to extinguish your troubles was to stand and fight them, running away would only make things worse. But staying to fight is what got her into this mess. She was someone that, not matter how much they tried, would not stop until they got what they wanted and she didn't care if that got her killed or not. She was somebody who stood and fought, someone who would shoot first and ask questions later, and that's what made her her. But it might just be the death of her.
Nothing had ever made her think that she had done the wrong thing with her life, and that remained. Whatever Lara did made her stronger, giving her the energy to either fight or run, letting her have the option to do what she wanted in the time of danger. Whatever she did could never kill her, only make her stronger.
The lights flickered above her and she sighed, irritated as they brought on a small source of a headache and then as they switched off completely. She brought herself up, outstretching her hands as she made her way over to the counter covered by blackness, feeling her way to a drawer close by. Pulling at the handle, she looked down, being able to see the cutlery from the light cast by the streaks threw the blinds that had yet to be closed. She closed it, not finding what she was looking for before moving onto the next drawer, then looking up as she saw a small circle of light shine on the wall. She turned around swiftly, sighing with relief as she saw Kurtis walking into the room, trying to recognise the figure in front of him. "Is that you, Lara?" he asked, yawning.
"Yes. Why are you up so early?" she asked, sitting back down at the table.
"I couldn't sleep. Is it the same for you?" he turned around, trying the light switch Lara had used a few moments ago, only to find that the circuit was dead. He turned back around to face her, putting the torch down in the centre of the table, only to knock the glass over that Lara had been drinking from. He grunted as he reached down to pick it up, Lara then taking it out of his hands and making her way over to the sink, putting it in the basin, "It's not been something for me to do easily." she chuckled, returning to the table where Kurtis now sat. "Thanks."
Kurtis glanced uneasily around the room, averting his gaze to anything other than Lara, something that wasn't easy to do as the torch shone upon her features, highlighting the beauty she had. They sat in silence, not even trying to think of a topic sentence. Simple things between them had suddenly seemed to become so hard, little things like the word 'hello' making either one of their throats dry up, cracking and refusing to let any words escape their lips. Eye contact was another thing. Ever since they had been reunited, they had never truly looked into each others eyes, the only time being the night before when Kurtis had let some steam off on the closest available thing, in this case, Lara.
Lara got up again, heading over to the sink and turning the tap on, taking a cup from the cupboard above her head. She put the cup under the tap and watched as the clear liquid filled the glass, then turning the tap off, returning to Kurtis. She pushed the glass in front of him, "You look like you could use this." Actually, he looked like he had been to hell and back. What he really needed was at least 3 days sleep and 30 cups of coffee. He looked terrible. Well, terrible for Kurtis anyway.
"Thanks. You don't look too good yourself. No offence." he took the glass into his hands, sipping at it, quickly gulping down the refreshing contents. "None taken." she laughed. Then, for what seemed like the thousandth time, the silence settled itself on them, enveloping them into an uncomfortable state. "Look, Lara. I'm sorry for my attitude it's just that -" he began.
"It's fine. You've been threw a hard time. I can understand where you're coming from." she reassured him, but he wasn't going to let her pass over the matter.
"Just because I'm worried doesn't give me the right to blow up on you. You're going threw the same, and I know it, it's just...I can't explain it...it's just I think it should be me doing the work. Alone."
"What makes you think that?"
"Well, I partially got us into this mess, so I should be the one to get us out of it, shouldn't I?"
"You better not start all this 'I'm going to protect you' crap, because it's getting a little old." she stood up, making her way to exit the room, but Kurtis stopped her by grabbing her hand, also standing up. "I don't mean it like that." he let go of her hand, letting it drop to her side, "What I mean is that, I was the last of the Lux Veritatis, and took it upon myself to avenge them and my father. Instead, I left that to you, in order to fight Boaz. If I hadn't, I could have helped you and then Karel might have definitely been dead. That way, he wouldn't be here now."
"You can't kill a Nephilim, Kurtis. Not even God could, don't throw so much on yourself." she shook her head, turning around but Kurtis once again grabbed her hand, gently pulling her, but strong enough so that she could not release herself from his grip. "And? We still can't walk away." he questioned.
"You're one to talk about walking away." she felt her brow scrunch up at the anger that was flowing through her at that moment. That man had some nerve.
"But Lara, this is important." he sighed. Strike two.
"Oh, way to make someone feel appreciated. That's all I ever was to you; nothing? Just another notch on your bedpost? Just someone whom you happened to say 'I love you' to. Oh, silly me, you probably just say that to all the girls." she stared up at him, waiting for him to answer her. When he didn't even open his mouth, she laughed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Then tears began to swell up in her eyes. "That's what I thought." she spat. She thought she could be stronger than this. She could have sworn she had changed for the better. She could have sworn she had changed back to the old Lara. The Lara that wouldn't let emotions in. But seeing Kurtis again was too hard. And for him to say something like that when he was so important to her, that hurt. "I was stupid to think I could do this." she sobbed, turning around again.
She began to walk to the door, but once again felt Kurtis' grip tighten around her wrist. "Just let me-" She didn't know what happened next. Only that she was forced up against a wall, Kurtis' lips pressed hard against hers. The action had taken her by surprise, but she was lost in the sensation of Kurtis being close to her, his body heat flowing threw his own being into her, warming her soul in the memories of years ago when they were children. The touch of his lips against hers, his hands rubbing smoothly down her arms brought shivers chasing each other up and down her spine, trying to overtake each other to see which one could make Lara snap into giving into him. She shouldn't respond, that would make her want to stay with him and that could only lead to her being distracted, not thinking of the logical topic at hand. But that's the first time she ever thought about it – logic. If someone asked her to jump from the Forth Road Bridge, diving into the water down below, she would insist it was possible, but not the logical thing to do, but yet she would still do it, twisting and turning in mid air to give the extra affect to the swan dive. If someone asked her to climb The Empire State building without climbing equipment she would insist that using climbing equipment would be the logical thing to do, but climb it without equipment and take in the exhilarating feeling of the adrenaline flowing through her veins, only powering her to climb higher. If someone asked her to marry them under the Eiffel Tower, she would say that the logical thing to do would be to not make a big deal out of it, but she would accept it and feel happy it happened in a romantic spot. She never took the logical thing into interest. She would always suggest the logical explanation, but it always went flying out the window with her.
Her mind was brought back to earth as she felt Kurtis' grip slacken on her arms, as if waiting for her to refuse him. Instead, she did what he hadn't been expecting. She lifted her arms up and closed her eyes, snaking her hands threw her hair, messing up his already trouseld locks. She felt Kurtis smile against her lips and then his arms wrap around her waist, holding her closer to him. It was as if they had never been apart. A few months ago, Kurtis had sworn that he would forget her, wipe her away from his mind as he regretted his actions. Yet here they were, only three days after meeting up with each other again, reconciling their feelings for each other, bringing the spark of romance in their lives back to life.
She brought her arms down to his neck, stroking the hair on the back of his neck, smiling slightly as the familiar scent of cigarettes and aftershave made their way to her nostrils, intoxicating her in his masculine scent.
Then she realised what she was doing.
Her eyes snapped open, and she pulled away, moving away from Kurtis. She turned around to face him and felt the sharp breeze that had settled in the house that night hit her arms, making her shiver at the lack of warmth, also making her miss the heat of Kurtis' body against hers. The taste of his lips lingered against hers, and she had to wait for the equilibrium levels high in her bloodstream to fall before any words could be spoken. She looked up at him, his head now leant against the wall, his breathing heavy.
He didn't know why he had acted like that, he just couldn't take it. Seeing her like that, thinking that she meant nothing to him – he just snapped. He felt something for her. He wanted her. Hell, he needed her. He loved her. Seeing her standing there, accusing him of feeling nothing for her, that was what did it. Since he saw her in that conversation with Mason a few days ago, every feeling of passion and romance was brought back to him like a boomerang. A boomerang that was sent flying away moths before, only to return to him when he least needed it. As his eyes had set themselves upon her face, his mind explored the possibilities of them together again, the possibilities of her still feeling one small bit of emotion for him. Whether that emotion be hatred or lust, he didn't care. He wanted her and he knew she wanted him. Or at least, he was sure she wanted him. At the time. He thought that if he had opened up to her again, she might accept him. He might have been wrong. He sighed as he pushed off against the wall, watching as tears slid down Lara's cheeks. "Don't, Kurtis. Please, just....don't" she sobbed, looking down at the ground. He walked over to her, taking her chin in his hand and directing her head up to face him, "I'm not going to hurt you, Lara." he tried to make eye contact with her, but she just continued to look away. If he got the slightest glimpse of the hazel in her eyes, it would be gone within a second. "But I can't promise I won't hurt you." she sighed. "I can't lose you again." She walked up to him, kissing him on the lips, trying to indicate that she still wanted him, "I just need time."
She turned away and walked slowly out of the kitchen, fighting the urge to turn around and look at him. If she did, she might not be able to hold herself from running up to him, apologizing for walking away by taking his head in her hands, kissing him furiously yet softly at the same time. She couldn't let herself feel like this. She felt something for him. She wanted him. She needed him. She loved him. She brought the tears away from her face with the back of her hand, coming to the bottom of the stairs. She heard footsteps beside her, then a door opening and closing, presumably Kurtis returning to his room. She regretted her actions and knew that she had most likely blown any chances of her and Kurtis getting along easily without each other out the window. But it was only a kiss. One simple kiss, it could hardly change anything. But it had changed everything.
She then found herself at the top of the stairs, making her way across the hall into her room. She opened her door, slamming it shut behind her, not caring whether she woke the others up or not. Walking over to her bed, she threw herself on top of it, looking out of the slit in the window again. She could see slight beams of light, meaning that the sun was beginning to come up. It would take some time to come up completely, but when it did, she could use it as relief. There was a big chance she couldn't get to sleep again, and lying awake in a bed would only lead to thinking. Thinking about her and Kurtis. Thinking about whether she did the right thing. Thinking about whether she had turned into the right thing. Regretting her choice.
Kurtis yawned as he opened the door to his bedroom, walking straight into the downstairs hall. Mason and him had been sleeping downstairs, so that they could make a quick escape if someone tired to get into the house, practically guarding the sleeping girls upstairs. He stretched his arms out, only to knock a vase over that was lying on a cabinet beside his door. He reached out and quickly grabbed it before it had a chance to crash into pieces on the ground. He sighed with relief as he caught it, then he stood back up, knocking into something behind him. He turned around to see Mason standing behind him, bumping into him again, making the vase go flying out of his hands. Mason quickly leaned over and grabbed it, putting it down on the cabinet, "Do you like trying to break my stuff?" he chuckled. "I had it under control, you just ruined my fun." Kurtis shot back with the same amount of sarcasm. In return, Mason just laughed, taking Kurtis by the shoulder and leading him to the living room a few doors down in the hall.
He pushed him down on the couch, then walking over to the desk in the room to pull out a box with markings on it that Kurtis couldn't make out. He recognised the box immediately and shot up, reaching out to grab it from Mason. He turned it over in his hands, taking in the familiar patterns and text that was carved on the object. It had been years since he had last seen this; twenty at least. And the last time he had seen it was during a conversation with his father that he did not want to have. His father was going on about him dying and telling Kurtis that he had to fight if anyone was to survive. And when he said anyone, he meant it. Kurtis had tried to stop him from continuing to talk like that, but he would insist that he needed to continue. He handed Kurtis the box, only for Kurtis to throw it on the ground and storm out of the room. He was only a child, he shouldn't have been listening to his father talk about him dying. No child should hear the words, "When I die..." Kurtis though aloud. He sat back down, staring at the box in his hands, all of the present world wiped away from his mind, only focusing on the object in front of him.
A fourteen year old Kurtis ran into the house, slamming the door shut behind him, locking it quickly with his key and then making his way over to one of the many windows in the room. He pressed the button on the window sill down, meaning they were also locked and then pulled the curtains shut, swiftly turning around to do the same to the other windows in the room. He sighed heavily as he sprinted over to the kitchen, searching threw the drawers and cupboards for the weapon his father had insisted he used at this specific time. He had barley stepped out of the school gates before they had turned up, pushing their way threw the crowds of pupils lined up to get on the school bus to get to him. He was alone when he had come home, making him feel the fear more than ever. If he was alone, there was a bigger chance that no-one would know of his death but they could know that the Cabal had something to do with it. There was a thumping at the door and he made his searchings quicker, sighing with relief as he found what he was looking for.
He turned around, walking back threw to the living room and grabbing his bag, fishing threw the contents. He found what he was looking for and lifted his mobile out of the bag, quickly dialling the number that he needed most at this time. He lifted it up to his ear and listened as it rung, then as he heard a voice at the other end of the line, tears began to stream down his face, "Dad? They're here. I can't do it."
He turned around as another blow came to the door and listened to his fathers voice on the receiving end of the phone, "But I don't know how to use it...." he dropped the phone as the door was burst open and backed up against a wall as mercenaries flooded the room, one distinct man standing out from the rest. He looked down at the weapon in his hand, completely unsure of how to use it. He had seen his father use it many times, but never had he been taught or told how to hold it, never mind handle it. His grip tightened as guns were aimed at his head and who he assumed was the lead mercenary stepped forward, "So this is the famous Kurtis Heissturm? I must say, you seem nothing like your father." he laughed, making Kurtis step back further only for his back to hit the concrete of the wall. "Now, where would your father be hiding?"
Kurtis felt his teeth grip together and then everything blacked out. He heard screams of agony around him, but somehow the blackness stayed around him. He knew he was conscious – he could hear, feel and taste everything around him, but somehow he couldn't react. His eyes were open, but somehow he couldn't see. He had done something, but what he did, he wasn't sure. He felt something cool and hard enclose itself in his grip and then a jolt of energy flow threw him as something tugged at the end of his arm. His sight was suddenly returned to him and he found himself lying on the floor. He gasped and sat up straight looking around the room to see blood everywhere, bodies littered on the floor. He set his sight down onto his hand, to see the weapon his father had given him covered in blood, the tips of five spikes visible from within the metal. He got up, sprinting over to each of the bodies to check their pulse, only finding the lead mercenary to be alive. Fourteen years old and a murderer.
He looked up as another figure walked in the room and sighed with relief as he saw his father run threw, jogging straight to Kurtis. He looked up at his father with tears in his eyes and then dropped the weapon on the floor. "Kurtis....Kurtis, look at me." he took Kurtis by the shoulders and shook him until he brought his gaze from the corpses on the floor to his father. "They'll keep coming." he warned. "You can't fight them off forever."
Kurtis sighed as tears forced their way out of his eyes, the salty liquid soaking his cheeks. His father wiped a tear away before lifting something out of his pocket. He took Kurtis' hands in his own and put an object into his hands. His father had always been straight forward. He had never been that good at looking after his family. He loved them more than anything – and Kurtis knew that – it's just that things seemed different when they were on the run. "You need to look after this. When I die..."
"Kurtis? Kurtis?" Mason shook his companion out of his dream state, interrupting the memory that had been forgotten until that moment. "How did you get this?" he asked, looking up at him not knowing which answer to expect. "My father gave it to me."
"My father gave it to me." Kurtis corrected. "Then he took it away to give to some other bloke until he was certain I was going to be involved in the war." he stood up, putting the box down on the desk.
"That 'other bloke' happened to be my father. Your father wasn't sure if you would help or not, and he couldn't risk something so valuable getting lost."
"So he gave it to someone that didn't even have the right to have it?!"
"You abandoned your family and the Lux Veritatis when you moved to France, Kurtis. You made it clear that you didn't want anything to do with either of them."
"That still doesn't give you the right to have it. There's only two people who can open that box and you know who they are!" he walked closer to Mason, resisting the urge to hit him there and then.
"But it wouldn't have been safe with you! Get that threw your skull! You went off and joined a mercenary recruitment, the leader of whom was who attacked you when you were younger! You honestly believe it would have been safe with you? Gunderson isn't stupid, if he knew who you were at the time, he would have killed you there and then."
"You know nothing about me. You can't even open the box! You know who can open it, but you just liked the feeling that you were actually needed. But the truth is, you're just a companion. There's only two people who have a true destiny with the Lux Veritatis, but you liked the feeling that you could be one of them. You don't even have the blood of a Heissturm! There's no way you could do anything with the box!"
"If you're so cocky about this, Kurtis, then go ahead and say who can actually open the box. Go, say it. You and who? That's right, you can't say it. You're too scared to admit that you did wrong. You won't tell yourself the other person because it'll make you hurt inside. It'll make you hurt because you left her like she was a piece of shit. You left her when your mother and father had no way of looking after her. You left her for dead." he spat.
"You know nothing! It still doesn't make sense! He gave me the Chirugai and the Periapt Shards, things that any Lux could use. But he gave you the box. He didn't even give you both of them! Why give them to you instead of to the people who actually need it?"
"He thought you were gone, Kurtis. And there's no way she could have used it. It would have been just as safe with her as it would have been with you. If she even got a paper cut while the box was around, everything would be over. There weren't any risks when it was with me."
"Weren't any risks?!"
"You know that a single drop of blood from either of you could open the box."
"Right, I'm really not in the mood to get into a fight about this. All I'm saying is that the box belongs to me. I'll look after it from now on." he made his way over to the door as he felt his stomach crave food, but Mason stopped him, "You know that you couldn't have kept it safe. You know your father did the right thing."
He turned back to face him, sighing before making his way out of the living room, walking across the hall to go back to his room. He yawned again, looking up to the stairs to see Lara coming down them. He stood there, watching her, as the events of earlier that morning replayed in his head. He really thought that she felt something for him, but she had rejected him. She may have responded kindly at first, but she had refused him all the same. She was the one that thought she meant nothing to him, but now it was him that was thinking that. She said it was time she needed, and he was willing to give her that. But he didn't want her in time. He wanted her now, he felt he couldn't live without her. Four months had changed how he felt about her. For the better.
He looked away from her and listened as she sighed at his behaviour and then he turned back to her, only to see that she was gone. Rolling his eyes, he walked over to his room, closing his door behind him and going to his suitcase in the wardrobe and dumping it on his bed. He opened it up and pulled his top over his head, dumping it in his suitcase. He pulled a second one out, but before he could put it on, he heard his door open behind him.
Lara walked into Kurtis' room, in too much a hurry to knock to find him topless – his trademark appearance. She shut the door behind her and let her eyes wonder down his toned stomach, taking in every muscle that looked as hard as steel to the sight, but soft and soothing to the touch. Her eyes soon found his face, one which looked both angry and somewhat happy at the same time. "Don't you knock?" he asked.
"About last night..." she began, walking over to him so they were only millimetres apart, but she was rudely cut off by Kurtis. "I understand, Lara." he sighed.
"No, you don't." she took his chin between two of her fingers and turned his head to face her. She slowly leaned in, until their lips were lightly brushing together. She snapped away from her trance as a knock came to the door and both Lara and Kurtis turned to face it, Kurtis quickly pulling his top over his head. Lara sighed inwardly, she was so set on telling him how she felt, but that way had seemed the only way to do it. They were so close, but someone had spoiled it. They watched as Morgan entered the room, only half of her head being seen. It was the most tired half of a face Lara had ever seen. "Mason said we should be getting ready. We'll be leaving for Moscow soon." she said.
"Thank-you." Lara said as Morgan moved away, closing the door behind her. She turned around to look back at Kurtis who just sighed and then she exited the room, leaving him to do whatever it was he was doing before she had interrupted.
AN: Damn it, Morgan! They were just about to kiss! See you on Friday! XD