A/N: Okay, I figured since it took so long to get the last chapter up, that I'd get this next one up as soon as possible. So, I'm working on this instead of the next "Journal" entry. And I think you'll all enjoy what I've got going on in this installment – action, fluff, plot development, it's all here.
Bearing that in mind, read on!
Disclaimer: Jana and the GESS belong to me, everything else belongs to the Great Jhonen Vasquez.
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The Membrane Household, Three Days Later
Dib nervously paced around the garage as he waited for the pod and his laptop to hookup again. It had been three days since his last encounter with Zim, and the Irken hadn't shown up at the High Skool since. The last time that had happened, it was because that giant fat Irken with the gas mask had kidnapped Zim – Dib somehow doubted that had happened again. Especially since the Robo-Parents (dragged out of whatever closet Zim had been moth-balling them in for the last few years) had actually shown up at the Skool with a sick note.
The Robo-Mom had broken down the door to Mr. Sourz's classroom and slammed the note onto his desk shouting something intestinal worms. Then the Robo-Dad had started crying about how he wanted worms because they tasted so good with Tabasco sauce (Dib had almost vomited at this point), so the Robo-Mom had comforted him by saying they could go play in the city cesspool. They had then fired their thrusters and flown up through the roof, raining pieces of plaster down on the assembled students.
"Not that anyone but me found that exceptionally odd," Dib muttered to himself as he continued to pace, "And meanwhile, I still have no idea what he's planning. What the heck is a GESS, damn it?"
Since he still had no answers, and he had yet to work up the courage to break into the base again, he had decided to just use the pod to access his spy cameras as he had earlier in the week. And today, he knew, was his best bet to do so. After six years, he had managed to memorize the exact date of Probing Day, the only Irken holiday he knew of (if the Tallest calling up all the Invaders just to beat them up qualified as a holiday, that is), which just so happened to fall on the current date.
It was also the one day that Dib was certain to find Zim in the communications room; even though the Tallest never called the normally inept Invader, he always called them in order to brag about how close he was to conquering the Earth. You'd think after six years that Zim would have realized he wasn't getting anywhere with that, but seeing as how Zim was Zim…
The laptop (which Dib had left on a stool) beeped, indicating that the connection between it and the pod was established. Walking over to it, Dib quickly typed in commands and brought up the view of the communications room. Zim wasn't there yet, but Dib was certain he'd show up soon, at which point he'd reveal his plan to the Tallest – and, by unwitting extension, Dib.
Now, it was just a matter of waiting…
XXXXXXX
Zim's Base, Training Room, Same Time
Zim slowly twirled an electro-lance in one hand as several insectoid drones circled him. The training room was large and bare, with a small booth set into the side where GIR sat operating the controls; the rest of the room was mostly empty, except for the remains of various other drones and obstacles that the mutant Irken had destroyed over the course of the previous three days of training.
Bringing the lance to rest, held in one hand and braced against the open palm of the other, Zim prepared himself for another round.
"Begin," he ordered, not even bothering to look over his shoulder at GIR.
The robot squeaked and gave a thumb's up, then hit the switch on the console before him that activated the drones. The bug-shaped machines immediately sprang into action, launching themselves at their target. Zim somersaulted over the drone directly in front of him, striking out with the electro-lance as his feet touched the ground.
The electrified tip of the weapon slammed into the drone's back, overloading its generator and causing most of it to explode. The other drones turned towards him, but Zim merely extended his free hand and furrowed his nonexistent brow in concentration; seconds later, two of the drones were sent flying backwards into a third, crushing it against the wall. The remaining drone swerved around the two thrown ones and got in close enough to begin slashing at Zim with its claws.
However, Zim easily dodged the sharp objects that were attempting to take his head off – he'd discovered early on in this training spree that, in addition to his new mental abilities, he had also gained a massive increase in speed and agility. His body twisted in ways it hadn't been able to since he was a freshly hatched smeet, before his muscles had fully developed and his limbs had been capable of bending like rubber; and as far as speed went, he was practically a living blur.
As he dodged one of the clawed limbs, the drone attempted to bring another one down on his head, but he quickly blocked it with his lance. For half a second, Zim considered using his PAK legs, but then he grinned and decided against it. He was having too much fun relying on something in a fight other than his PAK for a change. Calling on all his strength (which had also received an increase), he slammed against the drone, pinning it to the wall of the training room. As it struggled to break free, Zim pressed all his weight against the lance to hold it in place, then raised one hand. Once again concentrating, he clenched his hand into a tight fist. The drone only had time to let out one last high-pitched metallic squeal, and then its head was crushed, its optics popping out and its CPU smashed to pieces.
One of the drones Zim had sent flying earlier came flying back at him, but he quickly flipped through the air out of its reach and telekinetically gave himself an added boost, landing halfway across the room. The drone turned towards him again, but before it could move Zim threw the lance as hard as he could. It hit the drone square between its optical sensors, causing it to short-circuit and spasm for several moments before going offline and collapsing.
The final drone, whose legs had been damaged when Zim had thrown it across the room, dragged itself towards him. Its back popped open, revealing a moderately sized ion cannon. The weapon began charging, but before it could fire Zim reached out with both hands and once again concentrated – not on the telekinesis, but another ability he had discovered during his training. Just as the cannon was about to fire, the fuel within the drone's power cells was ignited, causing the robot to explode.
Zim activated two of his spider legs and used them to project a forcefield, shielding himself from the explosion. As the debris bounced off the protective barrier, Zim's face was split in half by a grin. He remembered when he had first developed that ability…
XXXXXXX
::Two Days Earlier::
Zim dodged around a series of spikes that rose up from the floor in a set pattern in front of him. Just as he passed the last one, a spinning circular saw swung at him on a mechanical arm. He ducked under it and rolled out of the way, and as it swung back towards him, he stretched out an arm and narrowed his eyes in concentration. Beads of sweat formed on his head as he exerted himself, but just before the saw hit him it snapped off the arm holding it and went flying backwards. It slammed into – and through – the spikes, cutting them in half before skidding to a halt on the floor.
The would-be Tallest got to his feet and brushed himself off. As he did so, he realized something – he had been training virtually nonstop since he had discovered his new abilities, yet he was only now starting to feel the slightest exhaustion.
"GIR!" he shouted, making the SIR unit poke his head out of the control booth, "Halt the training for a moment."
"Okey-dokey!" GIR said, before popping back into the booth. Zim then turned his attention to the ceiling.
"Computer, run a scan. Check to see if my PAK is running on the proper power setting; I've been exerting myself, but I still seem to have plenty of energy."
A cable descended from the ceiling and attached to Zim's PAK. There were several moments of near-total silence, broken only by the sound of GIR's laughter as he hit himself in the head with something, before the computer spoke up.
"Master, your PAK appears to be operating at its regular power output. Your body, however, doesn't seem to be using as much energy from the PAK as it normally does."
"Eh?" Zim blinked in surprise. "Why not?"
"I am detecting various chemicals in your body that seem to be quite similar to human adrenaline. It would appear that your body is developing them naturally and using them as fuel."
Zim raised an antenna in confusion. "I thought Irkens no longer required such things, since we rely on our PAKs for energy?"
The computer would have nodded if it were capable of doing so. "That's true, sir. When PAKs were first invented, the Control Brains in charge of the smeet hatcheries altered the genetic code of all new smeets created from that moment forward so that they wouldn't produce such body chemicals – they felt that keeping that trait in addition to the new properties of the PAK was redundant. The accelerant must have reactivated those gene sequences."
"So what does this mean for me?"
"As I said, the combination of the PAK energy cells and natural body chemicals is redundant, which in this case means you're getting double the amount of energy. In addition to your stamina, you will most likely also receive boosts in speed, agility, and possibly strength."
"I see," Zim said, tapping a finger against his chin in thought, "Interesting. I suppose that-"
WHAM!
A giant metal mallet slammed into Zim, disconnecting his PAK from the cable and sending him flying across the room. He hit the wall with a crash, falling flat on his face. As he scrambled to his feet, his eyes widened as he saw dozens of obstacles popping out all over the training room. Most weren't even aimed at him, however, but rather they were apparently activating at random; several were destroying each other even as Zim watched. The Invader could only stare in confusion, before realization hit him even harder than the mallet had.
"GGGGGIIIIIRRRRR!!!!!" he screamed, looking across the room at the control booth.
Through the glass window of the control booth, Zim could see that GIR had finally given in to temptation and was now hitting buttons on the control console at random, laughing hysterically while doing so.
'I knew I should have brought Minimoose down here instead,' Zim thought with a sneer. Glaring at GIR from across the room, he began weaving around the various weapons that the crazy robot was unleashing as he made his way towards the control booth.
"GIR! I didn't order you to start the training back up yet!" he shouted as he quickly dashed between two giant blocks that slammed together with a deafening crash, "Cease this at once!"
GIR, fully in random mode, ignored his master and pulled a large lever, shouting something about wienies, Julio Iglesias, and Disney's Space Mountain. As soon as the lever was pulled all the way down, the section of floor Zim was standing on flipped up like a springboard, sending him flying back the way he had come. He once again landed flat on his face, and as he pulled himself up his antennae flattened against his skull in anger.
"GIR," he snarled, seething as he grit his teeth together, "I. Said. STOP!!!"
As he roared that out, the air inside and surrounding the control booth began shimmering as an intense amount of heat suddenly built up in it, and moments later the booth exploded in a bright burst of flame. Zim blinked in surprise, his anger suddenly forgotten as the obstacles and weapons around him went dead. A few seconds later, GIR jumped out of the burning booth, either not noticing or caring that he was on fire.
"Yay! It burns!" the metal lunatic shouted, before he began rolling on the floor to put the flames out.
Zim, meanwhile, merely stared at the remains of the booth as it was doused in flame-retardant foam (but not water, naturally). As he began to process what had just happened, a smirk formed on his lips.
"Pyrokinesis," he muttered, before the smirk turned into a full grin.
"Neat."
XXXXXXX
Zim hummed the "Doom Song" as he strolled over to the rebuilt control booth; after the computer had reconstructed it, Zim had made GIR promise not to overdo it on the controls again. It hadn't been that hard – he had just promised to give GIR a coupon for Krazy Taco in exchange. As Zim reached the booth, GIR hopped out and stared at his master expectantly. Rolling his eyes, the Irken reached into his pocket and pulled the coupon out.
"Run along now, GIR. You've earned it," Zim said, the shadow of a smile on his face as GIR grabbed the coupon with a squeal and ran out the door.
"So, are you done training yet?" the computer asked, a hint of urgency in its voice. Zim, however, didn't notice and shook his head.
"Not quite yet, computer," he said as he cracked his neck and stretched his limbs, "Tell Jana to come up here."
The computer was silent for a few moments as it relayed the order, before speaking up again. "Master, is it wise to be exposed to another person so soon? This training has been aiding you in gaining control of your new combat abilities, true, but you haven't even been trying to learn how to control your telepathy."
"I beg to differ," Zim said, as he wiped away the faint sheen of sweat that had formed on his forehead, "What did you think, computer? That I would mediate or some other pointless human activity? No, I took a logical approach to this. Since most of my new abilities are mentally controlled, learning how to control some of them helps me with others, for it trains me in using my mind."
"No comment," the computer deadpanned.
Zim glared at the ceiling, but before he could say anything the doors to the room slid open and Jana entered. Instantly, a now familiar sound filled Zim's head; however, before any of Jana's thoughts could filter into his mind, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Focusing his mind, he quickly pushed back against the white noise, reducing it to a barely-audible buzzing. Grinning at his success, Zim reopened his eyes to find that Jana had lowered herself to one knee before him, her head bowed in submissive respect.
"You summoned me, master?" she asked.
Zim nodded. "Yes. As you're aware, I've been training with my new abilities. However, combat drones are one thing; I need to train against an opponent who can think for themselves. And you're the only servant I have who can actually put up a decent fight."
Jana merely stared in shock for a minute or two before she found her voice again.
"Y-You want me to fight you?" she stammered.
"Yes."
Jana shook her head defiantly as she stood up. "I can't do it master. I won't. It goes against everything I have dedicated my life to."
Zim rolled his eyes at this. "Much as I admire your loyalty, Jana, I do believe that it's blinding you. This will be a simple training session, nothing more. Neither of us will be in danger of any serious harm."
Jana blushed as she realized how much she had overreacted. Of course Zim wouldn't force her to try and hurt him – he had to know it was one order she wouldn't ever follow. And it wasn't just because of her training and profession; the feelings she had for him, which she knew she shouldn't have in the first place, wouldn't allow it.
"Of course. I'm sorry for that outburst, sir, it won't happen again," Jana apologized, bowing her head.
Zim snapped his fingers, and a slot in the wall opened up. With a whoosh of hydraulic mechanisms, two stun-staffs were ejected, one at each of the combatants. Both Irkens caught the staffs and swung them experimentally to get a good feel for them. Stun-staffs were more lightweight than electro-lances, and considerably less dangerous – if you were hit by one, at most the affected area would go numb or sting for several minutes. Therefore, they were ideal for basic combat training sessions; military instructors on Devastis commonly used them, though they tended to amp the power settings up, so as to further increase their cadets' suffering.
Zim twirled his for a moment before he stalked over to the other side of the room. Turning around as he reached the center of the training area, he got into ready position, waiting for Jana to join him. The assassin unclasped her cloak and dropped it to the floor, removing it as a restriction to her movements, before walking to a spot directly opposite her master. She bowed at the waist in the traditional means of preparing for a training fight, an action that Zim returned in kind.
"Begin," he said.
Jana nodded, then quickly jumped forward and brought the stun-staff down in an arc aimed at Zim's head. Zim quickly brought his own up and blocked the attack, then grabbed Jana's wrist and pulled, spinning her around. Jana turned the spin into an attack, brining her booted foot up in a kick. Zim ducked out of the way and rolled away from Jana before jumping to his feet and swinging his staff at her. She jumped into the air and landed behind him, and while he was off balance from the swing, she lashed out with her staff.
"Gah!" Zim gasped as the tip of the stun-staff grazed his side, just below the PAK. Jana grimaced as she watched Zim tenderly rub the sore spot.
"Should we stop now, milord?" she asked.
Zim's grimace turned into a small grin.
"No. I'm just getting warmed up," he said, before aiming a jab at her midsection.
Jana blocked, but was knocked to the side when the blunt side of one of Zim's PAK spider legs hit her in the shoulder. She skidded several feet across the floor, before she managed to pull herself back to her feet. Looking back at her master, she found that he had deployed all of his spider legs, and was giving her a cheeky grin. Jana wanted very much to be upset at the dirty move, but for some reason when she saw that grin all she could do was grin back.
"So, that's the way you want to play it then?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.
"Yep," Zim answered, grin still in place as he slowly twirled the stun-staff.
"Alright then," Jana said, activating her own spider legs as she ran forward. Using two of them as springboards, she launched herself at Zim, aiming the remaining two legs and the stun-staff at him. Zim merely extended his free hand in response, and Jana suddenly stopped in mid-air. She blinked in confusion for a moment, before she figured out what had happened and scowled. With a grunt of frustration, she threw the stun-staff at Zim. Yelping in surprise, Zim dodged to the side, breaking his concentration on Jana, who fell to the floor and landed in a crouch. Seeing that Zim was still disoriented from the surprise attack, Jana ran forward and tackled him, sending his stun-staff flying and both of them to the floor. They rolled for several moments before finally coming to a stop, ending up in a heap.
The computer shut off its speakers to stop from laughing at the sight; Zim had ended up lying right on top of Jana. As he braced his hands against the floor and pushed himself up, Zim realized the position the two of them were in and froze, his face turning a darker shade of green. Jana, meanwhile, had also realized what had happened, and was blushing even harder than Zim was. And to make matters even worse, the Invader was so distracted he lost control of his telepathy again.
'Oh gods, he's right on top of me – I can feel his pulse! This is so embarrassing! What if he thinks I did that on purpose? What if because of this he finds out… wait a minute.'
"Um, y-you weren't reading my mind just now, w-were you?" she stammered out, her blush increasing.
"Uh, y-yeah. S-sorry about t-that," Zim said, finding it suddenly hard to speak, much to his confusion. Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, he continued, "So, uh, what is it exactly that you're afraid that I'll find out?"
Jana's blush had now increased to the point that her face was practically black. Finding it hard to keep looking Zim in the eyes, but unable to look away, she quickly said, "Oh, uh, it's n-nothing, master. Nothing you need to worry about, nothing at all."
Ordinarily, Zim would have found this statement suspicious and filed it away for future reference, but right now his mind was too foggy for him to really notice. In fact, he didn't even notice that the already small distance between their faces was slowly but surely decreasing…
"Squeak!"
Both Irkens' heads snapped up to find that Minimoose had entered the room. The purple moose blinked in confusion, staring at both of them for several seconds in silence.
"Squeak?"
"No, you're not interrupting anything!" Zim snapped, still dark in the face as he quickly scrambled to his feet, "What do you want, anyway?"
"Squeak!"
"Why would I need to be in the communications room?"
"Squeak!"
Zim's eyes widened. "It's Probing Day?! Computer! Why didn't you tell me?!"
The computer reactivated its speakers to answer. "I tried to remind you yesterday, master, but you told me that if I interrupted your training you'd replace me with a chess program."
The mutated Invader glared at the ceiling and was considering setting the computer on fire when a small coughing sound drew his attention. Turning around, he found that Jana – who had pulled herself to her feet and was putting her cloak back on – was giving him an inquisitive look.
"If you don't mind my asking, milord," she said, "Why does it matter? You no longer have any loyalty to those fools who call themselves Tallest, after all."
Zim nodded. "True," he said, "But I realized something while I was training – considering the sheer brilliance of this plan, considering that once the GESS are released they'll ensure my conquest of this planet, the Tallest are sure to come here to witness it. And when they do…"
He grinned evilly and drew a finger across his throat. Jana, getting the point, nodded.
"Now then, I should make my way up to the communications room. You can head back to the GESS lab now." Zim paused, suddenly looking awkward, before looking away and muttering, "Thanks, by the way. For the training session, I mean. It was… invigorating."
Jana was glad she had put her cloak back on; the hood hid the fact that she was once again blushing. Grinning slightly, she bowed as she said, "It was my pleasure, master."
Smiling, Zim turned and walked out of the room. As he walked towards a secondary elevator to take him to the communications room, the computer spoke up.
"If I can offer a word of advice sir, you may want to avoid using your pyrokinesis when you and Jana are in the same room."
Zim raised an antenna in confusion at that. "Why?"
"Well, considering the amount of pheromones you two are giving off around each other, you're likely to blow up the base."
Zim nearly fell over from shock.
"What?!" he snarled, "Computer, are you implying that Jana and I have feelings for each other that are not professional?"
"I'm not implying anything, master. I'm saying it."
Zim growled, once again going dark in the face. "Computer, if you ever say anything like this ever again…"
The computer got the unspoken threat and instantly shut up. Zim merely grunted and continued on his way to the elevator.
XXXXXXX
The Massive, A Few Minutes Later
"Well done, Invader Gooch," Tallest Red said to the Invader on the holo-screen. Said Invader had just been pummeled to a bloody pulp by several large mallets, due to his puppet show having been less than satisfactory in the Tallests' opinions.
"Thank you, my Tallest," Gooch said woozily, before passing out.
Red chuckled to himself as the screen went blank, and turned to look at Purple, who was holding a snazzy metal clipboard with the names of all the Invaders on it.
"So, how we doing?" the scarlet-eyed Tallest asked his co-ruler.
"Great!" Purple said as he crossed Gooch's name off of the list, "In fact, this may be the best Probing Day we've had since we became Tallest. We've managed to make it through almost all the Invaders without-"
"Incoming transmission from Earth!" one of the bridge technicians shouted.
"-that happening." Purple finished with a sigh, which Red joined him in. The latter grabbed a doughnut and began chewing on it as he gestured to the technician to open a communications channel. The holo-screen switched from the standard image of the Imperial Irken symbol over to static for several moments as it established a connection with Zim's communication system.
"Hello Zim, what is it this-" Red cut himself off with a choke, gagging on his doughnut while next to him Purple's clipboard fell from his suddenly limp hands. The cause of their shock was evident to anyone watching, for appearing on the screen, his body radiating power, was Zim, in all six feet of his glory.
"Hello, my Tallest," he said, a slight sneer evident in his voice during the greeting, "I do believe I have something you might be interested in hearing…"
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A/N: And I think I'll end it right there, otherwise this is going to go on forever. I know I always say these chapters turn out longer than I think they will, but this time that is especially true. This is, by far, the longest chapter of any story I have ever written, and I hope you all enjoyed it.
Next time: Zim's plan accelerates, while Dib counter-plans, and an important visitor comes to Earth.
Until then, read and review!