I know I know I didn't update yesterday. I'm a horrible person and I have more bad news. I'm going on Vacation for two weeks the week after next and I'm busy this week so I won't be able to update for a few weeks. But I will try to write a lot over vacation and then type it up when I get home. I'm really sorry. I might be able to update this Thursday but that might be it for awhile. I'm really sorry guys :(
I walked into Biology. I tried to tell myself I wasn't afraid before I walked into the room, but I couldn't even kid myself when I saw my hand shaking on the doorknob. The Biology room was made up of two person tabled lined up facing the front of the room. There was an alleyway in-between the rows of desks. I felt like I was walking to my own execution. Each step brought me closer to the horrible, painful death that awaited me on the third row right side of the room.
He was already here of coarse. I sank slowly into my chair, just wishing that I could sink into the floor and never return again. Then I remembered my anger tactic. I thought of all the reasons why I hated Edw-Edwa-Edward. There I said his name. Edward Edward Edward I shouted in my head, fuming at him for all he had put me through.
"Today we begin our final Biology projects class," Mr. Banner informed us, as if we didn't know. He looked too cheerful. Too bouncy. I imagined shooting him. I laughed softly under my breath, though I soon stopped, remembering what lay ahead for me.
"I would like you to now discuss how you are going to split up the work for this project." Was he freakin' serious? What was it with teachers and murdering innocent students. Namely me.
"So," he said looking at the ceiling.
"So What?" I asked looking at the floor.
Our conversations that day followed like the first one. We wouldn't look at each other, and conversed mostly in only a few words per sentence. It was awful. I was relieved when class finally ended. All I wanted was to go home, puke, and sleep. (A/N I know it sounds gross but It's what I wan't to do after a hard day) As soon as the bell rang. I grabbed my stuff and headed for the door. I realized that he had done the exact same thing as I had. When we got to the doorway he jumped back, as if afraid that I would contaminate him. I looked at him and for a moment our eyes met.
What I saw scared me. The look he gave me was so deadly, so dangerous, I can't even describe it. It was as if pure hatred rolled off his eyes in waved. Each blow more powerful then the last. I felt like I was melting. My bones seemed to me falling apart, adrenalin rushed though my body making me tense, ready to fight. I couldn't stand it any longer. I looked away. How could looking at someone for only a few seconds make me fall apart. I had felt like I had been dieing. I ran to my car with tears in my eyes. I just barely made it inside the comforting confines of the Toyota when I broke. I fell apart. I worked to shove the memory of his eyes behind my wall. I worked and worked and finally I gave in. I couldn't forget the memory of the pure rage that burned behind his emerald green eyes. I decided to use it to my advantage. Whenever I though of him I would think of the memory of the glare and use it to force the unpleasant thoughts back behind the barrier.
When I got home I did puke but I couldn't sleep. I had too much work to do. I needed to do a good job on the Biology project. I wanted to make him look crappy in comparison to me.
It was as I was working on the stupid project when I formed the plan. I knew I couldn't make him jealous, like when I saw him with Tanya *wince* he just didn't love me anymore, but that didn't mean I couldn't be happy without him. I would find a hot guy, I would become bad girl Bella. I would make him sorry he ever left me. I would make all his friends realize how much cooler I was then him. I would get revenge. But first I needed a boyfriend. Mike would never work he wasn't cool enough. Jacob wouldn't like me doing anything dangerous, and that was a must do on my bad girl checklist. I needed someone knew…
My prayers were answered after a week of avoiding eye contact with Edw-him. I was still shaken up by the death glare he gave me. Although I often found myself staring at his back in the back of class, or in Biology, at the side of his face. However he seemed to know when I was staring because he would turn around in the middle of a class to glare at me. I would freeze in my spot. Like a deer caught in headlights, until I could think again and turn away, my heart beating faster. Sometimes when I wasn't even looking at him, just staring at the wall behind him, not realizing he was there, in the middle of class he would turn and glare. It came to be that all I could do in class was stare directly at the teacher or at the opposite side of the classroom then where he happened to be sitting. I hated the control he had over my life. The limitations he put on my happiness. I hadn't forgotten my bad girl plan, but I needed a boy first. And then one day he came.
(A/N I know this is a short one but I am going to write another one tonight and I wanted it to be a different chapter. Please review!!! I really appreciate it when you do.)