Ok please don't hate me for not updating soon. I was having some summer fun…ok I have no excuses. You guys are the best readers ever! I have 98 reviews!!!! 2 more until 100! When I first started this story I thought I was only gonna get like 10! I luv you guys so much!!!!

Disclaimer: Me: I don't own Twilight

SM: What no fuss this time?

Me: Nope… but if you don't let me own it you'll never see your cat alive again

SM: No not Mr. Fuzzybottom! Wait I can just call the cops on you!

Me: Darn it!

I slowly reached into my desk drawer. I pulled out the zip lock bag. My hand was shaking as I looked at my stash of drugs. I told myself I would never do them again. I would not give James a reason to keep working for him. I needed to at least try to be good enough for Bella, even if I could never have her.

I stared at the bag. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to forget everything, just for tonight.

I threw the bag aside. I had to be good for Bella. Even though she would never forgive me I would try to be good for her. I would flush all of my drugs down the toilette and quit working for James, and if Bella ever did want to be with me I couldn't lie to her. I would tell her the truth and then of coarse she would run away as fast as she could. I was a monster. I had let innocent people be killed in front of my very eyes. I did not deserve her but I would still try.

There was only one more week left of the Biology project. Only one more week to be with Bella. The days had gone by more quickly ever since I had almost taken the drugs. Bella would come with James and Bella would leave with James.

The Wednesday before the project was due Bella stayed at my house late. A whole hour late. I glanced at her quickly but could tell that she didn't notice the time. I knew James was a freak about time. I remembered one guy who had come to him for drugs that was three hours late. That, and the fact that he didn't have the money he promised resulted in him having a bullet in the heart. I felt sick thinking back to the man slamming into the wall behind him. The shock on his face as he looked down to see the red stain slowly, ever so slowly, spreading on his dirty grey shirt. The horror in his eyes as he realized what had happened, as he realized that these were his last moments on earth. And then he had looked at me. Right in the eye and I knew this was my punishment for not stopping this, because seeing the intelligent light go out from someone's eyes is not something you can easily forget. I was still thinking about it to this day.

His obituary was in the paper a week later. He had a wife and three kids all of who did not know that he had been getting drugs from James for five years. The autopsy showed that he had been smoking weed and the police were still after the drug dealer: James.

I was so deep in thought that I was startled when Bella jumped up.

"Where are you going?" I asked automatically, staring at her. Her warm brown eyes met mine for a moment and I was shocked at how beautiful they were.

"It's eight, I have to go bye." She said in a rush. As she hurried out of the room my eyes never left her. Even as I heard the front door slam I still sat there, motionless. Why couldn't I just forget her? Why couldn't I be like I was pretending to be, cold and heartless. Like how I used to be. But then Bella broke open the hard shell of my heart and opened it up to the world. She was all that mattered to me.

I was still sitting in the same place an hour later when Emmett found me.

"Dude, you're kind of messed up." I looked at him and it took a few moments for me to register what he had said.

"I know." It was true, I was messed up, but in ways I could never explain to him.

"Well anyways… you should probably show some signs of life or something. Mom's getting worried."

"O.K." I said distantly as I got up and walked past him. He watched me go, looking concerned. I felt weird as I approached the stairs that led to my room. I knew instantly what it was as soon as I walked by the window that had a clear view of the driveway. I hadn't watched Bella leave today. Although I knew it would make no difference whether I watched her go or not, I still felt guilty for not seeing her go. Stupid. I thought to myself when I crawled into bed a few minutes later.

The next day as I was walking down the hallway to my next class I saw a cluster of students gathering in front of some lockers. It was really annoying. They were causing a blockage in the hallway. I walked by quickly but was distracted when I recognized the voice coming from the middle of the crowd.

"I tried to catch her but she still fell, you know how clumsy she is," James laughed and I felt sickened. How could he laugh about my Bella falling? I looked more closely and saw that the left side of her face was red and puffy. It looked painful. How could James not be more careful with my angel? How could anyone not make her safety a top priority. But then I remembered that this was James.

Suddenly Bella shot out from the group and headed for the Bathroom. I might have imagined it but I could have sworn that I saw the glimmer of unshed tears gathering in her beautiful doe brown eyes. I shook off my feelings of dread and walked on to my next class.

Ok so next chapter is James Vs. Edward/possibly Emmett. As always I welcome your thoughts ideas and criticisms. I no it took me forever to update and I'm sorry but I'll try to be faster. After this is done I'm thinking about writing another twilight fan fic called Therapy, I'll give you more details on that later.

Luv you guys!

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