May 17, 2378 0825 Sickbay
The other shoe was about to drop. The emergency medical hologram found himself being reactivated just moments after he'd deactivated himself after taking care of B'Elanna Torres' most recent bout of false labor pains. Kathryn Janeway, fresh off of another double shift on the bridge and then Engineering, said she wanted to speak to him about a personal matter.
"Why don't we go to my office Captain?" the EMH asked politely.
"Yes, of course Doctor, that would be a more appropriate place to discuss a private matter," she responded.
Kathryn Janeway was more nervous about this upcoming conversation than she had realized she would be. She took a seat opposite the doctor's desk and tried to figure out where to start. Well maybe she could start with the Gazette article.
"The other day I was doing some recreational reading to try to relax before going to sleep, and I came across an article in the most recently uploaded Star Fleet Gazette that troubled me," she said.
"And what article was that, Captain?" the EMH politely inquired even though he felt sure he knew which article it was.
Kathryn realized that telling the EMH the title would simplify matters greatly, as he could then access the article and she wouldn't have to explain it to him. "Contraception or Involuntary Sterilization: The Case Against Long Term Use of Boosters," she told him.
"I'm familiar with the article," the EMH said. "Captain why did the article trouble you?" the EMH asked, even though he knew exactly why she was troubled, as he'd had this same conversation just eight hours a go with Commander Chakotay, he just wanted her to articulate her own reasons.
"Well-" Kathryn began, then stopped. "Doctor can I assume that whatever I say to you will remain between the two of us?" she asked nervously.
"Of course Captain, respecting your right for privacy is a part of my ethical subroutines, you know, I will respect patient-doctor confidentiality," the doctor replied, trying to act slightly affronted.
Kathryn knew better than anyone that the doctor had actually breeched that confidentiality once and revealed something rather embarrassing about Tuvok; however Kathryn felt sure that the doctor had learned his lesson after that incident and besides she didn't have much choice but to trust that the doctor would use discretion this time. What was really bothering her was that on the one hand she needed to trust him to keep her secret and on the other she had to convince him to, if not out right break, then at least bend standing protocols, she wondered if his program would accommodate the situation.
Kathryn fidgeted and finally she abandoned the chair , resorting to pacing; she couldn't seem to be still while she tried to breech the self-imposed walls she'd built around her heart and its contents. Finally she faced the doctors and began an attempt to explain her troubled state of mind.
"The article troubles me because I have a hope, a dream," she turned and clutched the top of the chair and looked at the doctor with earnest eyes shining, "it is the most precious possession I have. I hope that when we return to the alpha quadrant I will be able to marry the man I love and have a child with him. But if these boosters have the effect this article suggest then perhaps that desire is simply a pipe dream, something that can never happen," Kathryn said as her eyes became bright with unshed tears.
"Captain- Kathryn, May I ask you if there is a particular man you have in mind as the father of your child?" the doctor asked gently.
"Certainly, - Doctor are you trying to say you are the only person on Voyager who doesn't know who I'm in love with?" Kathryn asked a bit amused.
"No, I guess I just wanted to be sure I understood you. Captain, contraceptive boosters aside I doubt you will be capable of bearing Commander Chakotay's child, unless you do so before we return to the Alpha quadrant." the EMH repeated what he'd told Chakotay as he couldn't give away the fact that he knew about Star Fleet's plan without exposing the fact that he'd already had this discussion with the commander.
"Look Doctor I know you and the rest of the crew think it's going to take us another twenty years to reach the Alpha quadrant, but it isn't. I can't elaborate but Star Fleet has a very feasible plan that I have not revealed to the crew, not even the senior staff, which will bring us home in 10 years. I know I won't be a debutante in 10 years, but I should be young enough to have at least one child, if these damn boosters don't totally rob me of my fertility," Kathryn explained.
"I see, so what do you want me to do to help you protect your dream?" the EMH asked as though he didn't know.
"Neutralize my current booster and don't give me any future boosters," Kathryn requested.
"You realize that goes against standing protocols for crew aboard vessels on deep space deployment?" the doctor asked Kathryn, just as he had Commander Chakotay.
"Yes I know the protocol, 'all personnel serving aboard vessels on deep space deployment will maintain currency with contraceptive boosters unless granted special dispensation by their captain' and I also know that as captain I'm not suppose to give such dispensation except to individuals in committed relationships," she quoted.
Kathryn looked down at her hands nervously. Then looked the doctor full in the face and continued more determinedly. "I realize it may seem like I'm taking advantage of my position to ask you to do this, but please understand, I know I'm not married or even engaged, but in my heart I am," she said gently, but with great conviction.
"Oh?" the doctor said by way of enticing the captain to elaborate.
"Maybe this sounds silly, but I feel as though I'm engaged to Chakotay. I've been true to him all these years - well at least when no one was manipulating my mind that is," Kathryn amended, thinking of her recent relationship with Jaffen on Quarra, "and I intend to go on being true to him. There's only one man I want. I know I have to wait until we get back to the Alpha quadrant to be with him and as hard as that is, I've accepted it. I'd just like a chance to have what other women have, a chance to have a child with the man I love," Kathryn looked at the doctor with pleading eyes.
"Before I agree to your request, I must have the answers to two questions," the doctor stated, already deciding he was going to act like a kindly family doctor and meddle a little.
"What questions?" Kathryn asked anxiously.
"The first question is for you Kathryn, the woman. Have you discussed your heart's desire with Chakotay?" the doctor gently but firmly asked.
"Oh no, no I can't do that!" she exclaimed.
"For heaven's sake, why not?" the doctor asked exasperated.
"You can't understand how complicated my relationship with Chakotay is, doctor. He is my first officer and my friend and confidant, but there is more and if we ever openly admit to it, well, then it will overwhelm us. No, we have a very delicate balance and each of us knows the boundaries very well," she replied.
"Even the biggest and best of fires will eventually burn itself out if there is no one to tend it. How can you be so sure his love for you or yours for him will be able to last so long without something more to fuel it than unspoken promises?" the doctor asked as tenderly as he could.
"Sometimes a glance or a gesture can speak much louder than words, doctor," Kathryn explained.
"I hope your right, captain. I hope your right," the EMH sighed, "Alright then, my second question is for the captain. Is it fair for you to have this privilege to disregard Star Fleet protocols when the average crewman cannot, but must come to you and I to beg for the same opportunity?" he asked.
"No, no its not." Kathryn considered options for a moment. "Doctor, I want you to make the information about the long-term effects of the boosters known to the crew and tell them I've given blanket approval to any and all crewmembers who, after consultation with you of course, wish to neutralize the boosters and refrain from taking any future boosters, to do so." the captain ordered. "Oh, doctor?" she added.
"Yes, Captain?" The EMH responded wondering what else the captain wanted.
"Two more things; one, we can't exactly afford a baby boom around here so could you also provide information about other contraception methods than the boosters to the crew?" she asked.
"Of course captain," the EMH said with a smile. Now there would be some interesting research he thought.
"And second, will there be any side effects from neutralizing the boosters?" she asked a bit nervously.
"I can't answer that as adequately as I'd like as there was data loss in the upload of some Star Fleet Medical updates concerning this issue. It seems there are some side affects for men but I don't know what they are but it seems whatever they are the effects aren't too worrying and seem to be temporary. I didn't see anything about the effects on women." The doctor replied as he began a quick physical on the captain focusing on her reproductive health.
A few minutes and a hypospray later, the captain was on her way to her cabin for some rest and the doctor was on his way back to his office to compose a memo to the crew and to look over the results of the scans he had made on the captain.
To: All personnel
From: Chief Medical Officer
Time: 1015
Some of you may have become aware of the Star Fleet Gazette article "Contraception or Involuntary Sterilization: The Case Against Long Term Use of Boosters" (see attachment 1). The concerns raised in the article are valid, therefore the captain has decided to allow all crewmembers the freedom to discontinue the use of the contraceptive boosters and/or have your current booster neutralized, if after discussion with their physician (i.e. your kindly EMH), it is deemed appropriate to do so. I will advise you now in a broad sense that if you began taking the boosters at a young age and/or have been taking the boosters for more than fifteen years you should schedule an appointment to discuss the matter with me.
As Voyager is not equipped to suddenly take care of a large number of infants, please see the attached information on alternate forms of contraception (see attachment 2) should you decide to both have your contraceptive boosters neutralized and to engage in sexual intercourse.
When information becomes available I will send out another memo regarding possible side affects of neutralizing the boosters.
After the doctor completed the memo he began analyzing the scans he'd made of Kathryn. He looked up her genotype and as much gynecological and obstetric data as was available to him and began the task of trying to determine what her reproductive span should be, baring interference from the boosters and other factors. The information he was receiving was not encouraging. The information from Kathryn's genotype was interesting, apparently women with this particular genotype could be quite fertile but it seemed that the fertility was sort of a use it or lose it proposition. If women of this genotype attempted to become pregnant in the first half of their reproductive period then they tended to have relative ease in becoming pregnant and having healthy babies throughout their reproductive span. But a delay of the first pregnancy into the second half of the reproductive span increased the difficulty they had becoming pregnant and increased the risk of miscarriage. When he added in all the additional stress factors present in Kathryn's case, he found the conclusions grim. If the discontinuation of the boosters did result in a return to her normal levels of fertility and there was no guarantee of that, but if it did, he projected that her fertility level would drop to the point where natural conception would be virtually impossible in five years and even artificial methods would be ineffective in seven years. So much for the dreams of Chakotay and Kathryn to have a child, unless - the doctor had an idea but he was hesitant to try it without a second opinion. Well actually two second opinions, he need to talk to another physician and a counselor to be sure his idea was a sound one and he needed to do that soon and with utmost confidentiality.
"EMH to Tuvok," the Doctor intoned.
"Tuvok here. What can I do for you Doctor?" the security chief responded.
"If you could spare a moment, I need to discuss a matter with you," he requested.
"Of course, I will join you in sickbay momentarily," the Vulcan replied.
A few minutes later the doors to sickbay opened and Commander Tuvok entered. Stopping directly in front of the EMH he asked, "what can I do for you today, Doctor?"
"Please, let's discuss this in the privacy of my office," the doctor said as he indicated to the Vulcan to accompany him.
"As you wish," Tuvok responded.
"Commander, I find myself in need of a second opinion," the doctor started.
Mistakenly believing the doctor wanted his opinion, Tuvok said, "On what subject do you desire my opinion, doctor?"
"Oh no Tuvok, I don't want your opinion, although I suppose you might have a valid one-" The doctor toyed with the idea of confiding in Tuvok who was after all one of the captain's oldest friends. No, he needed professional opinions before he jumped into the deep end by meddling in his commanding officers private lives.
"If it is not my opinion you desire, I fail to see why you need to consult with me," the Commander said with that slight note of Vulcan exasperation in his voice.
"Well, I'd like to consult with Counselor Deanna Troi about an issue regarding members of the crew via the communications uplink but such a consultation would be need to be confidential," the EMH replied.
"Ah," Tuvok said, "hence your desire to speak to me about the security of such a communication."
"Exactly," responded the doctor.
"I can assure you confidentiality can be accomplished on the uplink. You may even ask Seven of Nine to leave Astrometrics so you may make the "call' alone," Tuvok assured the doctor.
"However, I do have one question," Tuvok added.
"Yes?" the doctor asked.
"Would it not be less complicated and more timely to simply ask Commander Chakotay to assist you with this issue?" Tuvok inquired.
"No, no that would be totally inappropriate given the circumstances," the doctor replied emphatically.
"I see," Tuvok replied. In truth, he did not see why the Commander could not handle the situation, unless he was a part of the situation. Given what he had witnessed of and heard about the commander's behavior of late perhaps that was the case. Tuvok filed that thought away for later contemplation.
"I will see that the necessary arrangements are made. Doctor, you will not have long to make this consultation, two minutes at the most," Tuvok informed the EMH.
"Then I shall have to choose my words carefully to be sure they are precise and succinct," the doctor replied.
"Indeed" said Tuvok as he turned to leave sickbay.
As the doctor returned to his office to think of exactly what he should tell Deanna Troi in the brief time he'd be allowed, he noticed his terminal blinking, indicating he had a message. No doubt someone was already requesting an appointment with him.
To: CMO
From Cdr. Chakotay
Time 1115
I'm betting the list of side affects includes increase in libido and irritability. Possibly embarrassing, definitely annoying but thus far not life threatening.
The EMH chuckled he should have suspected as much. The earliest investigations into male contraceptives had shown that administering exogenous androgens to men caused suppression of spermatogenesis, in many cases leading to complete azoospermia but the side effects of increased libido, aggression, even manic behavior eventually led to that line of research being abandoned. Apparently in the newer contraceptives the attempt to avoid increases in the libido and aggressive behavior had brought on just the opposite and as a man went off the therapy his own natural proclivities rebounded enthusiastically. In other words the male members of Voyager who elected to go off the boosters were about to go through a hopefully short period of acting like a bunch of horny Neanderthals. He'd be sure to get the complete list of side effects when he spoke to Star Fleet Medical later today.
May 17, 2378 1230 Mess Hall
Tom carried a tray with his and B'Elanna's lunch on it over to the table Harry had acquired for the trio.
"So," B'Elanna began, "not that I mind meeting my husband and his best friend for lunch, but what's this all about?
"Same thing as the last mess hall meeting, B'Elanna, that moody adopted brother of yours, Chakotay," Tom replied.
"What'd he do this time?" she asked.
Harry decided to fill her in on things, as it didn't seem fair to make Tom do it. "He jumped all over Tom this morning for being late." Harry explained.
"But that was my fault," she said.
"Yeah, well Chakotay really didn't want to hear that excuse, he said, and I quote, 'you know what, you're a real piece of work, Paris - You should be the most grateful man on this ship. You're married to the woman you love, though Spirits only know what she sees in you, and now you get the joy of watching her grow fat with your baby and all you can do is complain about losing sleep'," Tom dug into his lunch as he watched B'Elanna fume.
"He said I was fat?" B'Elanna asked sounding upset.
Harry quickly interjected, "Uh, he didn't mean it that way B'Elanna, its just sort of a thing a guy from his culture would say, you know? It's not disrespectful at all," he asserted.
"You're sure?" she asked.
"Uh huh," Harry answered and nodded. "Yeah, I mean, I think what he was saying is how lucky Tom is to be married to you and to have you having his baby," he explained.
"Yeah," Tom said suddenly animated, "that's it. Why didn't I put two and two together?" he asked himself and his companions.
"What's that?" B'Elanna asked a bit mystified.
"Boy, this lack of sleep must be slowing all our minds down. Think about it, first we get Chakotay being all sad and then grumpy like he's got a thorn in his paw, then we learn that the long term use of contraceptive boosters may be wiping out a person's fertility," Tom said and sat back waiting for his lunch companions to catch up with him. When his wife and best friend didn't immediately jump in with responses, he continued.
"Don't you see Chakotay's jealous of me because I have what he doesn't. He wants to marry Janeway and watch her 'grow fat' with his baby," Tom concluded almost triumphantly.
"Oh man, if that's what's making him so irritable we don't have a chance of cheering him up," B'Elanna said dejectedly.
"Why do you say that?" Harry asked.
"Because Janeway won't marry him while we are out here and we're twenty years from the Alpha quadrant," B'Elanna responded.
"What's a matter Maquis, not up to a little challenge. I mean all we've got to do is either change Janeway's mind or get home to the Alpha quadrant faster," Harry said flippantly.
"You know I was thinking about that the other day, I mean about a way to get to the alpha quadrant faster. If we could just come up with a way to cruise at a slightly higher speed we could cut a lot of years off the journey," Tom said in all seriousness.
"Yeah, if we could just cruise at warp 7 we could shave 6 years off the trip or at warp 8 we could be there in about 11 and a half years," said Harry.
"And if we didn't constantly have to stop to trade or mine for dilithium and vorilium we could cut even more time off our trip," added Tom, getting in the spirit of the whole how to get home faster theme.
B'Elanna shifted uncomfortably in her chair and Tom pounced on her discomfort. "Out with it B'Elanna, what do you know?" Tom demanded.
"Its just a rumor Tom," she answered defensively. As Harry and Tom's eyes bored into her, B'Elanna gave in. "OK, OK an engineer I knew in the Academy sent me a note in a download a while back about a project he'd been on to adapt an Intrepid class ship for cruising at higher warps and to have the ability to cloak. He also said another crew was fitting a deep space probe with caches of refined dilithium and vorilium." she said.
"Yes!" proclaimed Harry Kim as he hammered his fist on the table.
"Easy Star Fleet, this is supposed to be a secret," B'Elanna said as she grinned affectionately at her friend.
"Do you think that Star Fleet has told the captain about this yet?" asked Harry.
"I don't know, if they have she obviously hasn't decided to share the information with the crew, not even the senior staff," said Tom.
"Why would she withhold such information?" B'Elanna pondered.
"Think how disappointed the crew would feel if something happened to the probes," Harry answered.
"Yeah, you've got a point there, Harry," Tom said then pushed himself back a bit from the table. "Look, let's just deal with the small things that we can maybe help. B'Elanna invite Chakotay to have dinner with you this evening," Tom ordered.
Before she could do more than take a breath to protest, Tom added, "Tell him you let me go play with Harry one last time before the baby's born, but you want company for the evening. Cook his favorite meal and then talk about what's been bugging him. See how much you can get him to open up," he suggested.
"OK," B'Elanna grumbled.
"Harry, you and I can work on a great holoprogram for Chakotay's party. OK?" Tom said seeking his friend's cooperation.
"Yeah OK, I guess. Just let's not put anything in it that will get us in trouble OK?" pleaded Harry.
"Well it won't be as much fun, but if your afraid-" Tom began in a teasing manner.
"Damn straight I'm afraid, between the redheaded captain, a very pregnant Klingon and the Jaguar with the sore paw, I don't which way to flinch," Harry responded with a grin.
"You know Harry, you may have a point there," Tom conceded. "Now as most senior officer present, currently on active duty," he amended after seeing B'Elanna's glare, "I say let's get back to our posts."
The threesome stood and after taking their trays back to be recycled and Tom's giving B'Elanna a kiss, Voyager's Chief of operations and head helmsman headed back to the bridge.
May 17, 2378 2000 Torres-Paris Quarters
Chakotay had turned over the last half of his shift in engineering this evening to Vorik so he could accept B'Elanna's invitation to dinner. As he walked down the corridor toward Tom and B'Elanna's quarters, nervously clutching a bouquet of flowers he was bringing to B'Elanna, he wondered how the evening would progress. He hoped she was in a more human mood tonight than a Klingon one or he might get the flowers back in his face. He waited hesitantly outside the door working up the courage to activate the door chime. 'Well,' he thought, 'might as well get this over', and with that thought he activated the chime.
"Come in Chakotay," B'Elanna called out.
He entered to see a radiant B'Elanna setting the table for two.
"Uh, I brought these for you," Chakotay said as he offered her the flowers like a teenager on a first date.
B'Elanna took the flowers from him and laughed at his nervousness. "Its OK, I'm not going to shove them down your throat, actually as you can see," she said and pointed to the table, "I was hoping you'd bring the flowers."
For the first time Chakotay actually looked at the table. There were two place settings of Fiestaware, one in terra cotta and the other in turquoise, a small bowl of salsa next to a big bowl of tortilla chips and a pitcher of ice tea with pieces of lime floating in it. He finally saw what she meant, as B'Elanna put the flowers in a vase that was already out on the table with water in it, but no flowers. Chakotay nervously looked around for something to do.
"Can I help you with anything?" Chakotay inquired.
"Sure, make yourself useful. Come take a couple of these dishes out of the replicator and over to the table," B'Elanna answered as she walked over to the replicator.
As Chakotay joined her he noticed that the meal was indeed to be a Mexican one, as he'd guessed from the presence of the chips and salsa. One of the dishes contained refried beans and the other held Spanish rice. He couldn't tell what the main course was as the dish was covered, so he decided to ask, "So, what's the entrée?
"Chile rellenos, my grandmother's recipe," she answered and smiled at him. She knew he loved the foods she cooked that she claimed were from her grandmother Torres' recipes. Truth was she didn't get to spend time with her father's mother at an age when she was interested in learning to cook but she did remember what her grandmother's best dishes tasted like and over the years had learned to replicate close approximations of the real things. Of course Chakotay hadn't tasted many of them because she never fed him meat in deference to his choice to be a vegetarian.
"Sounds good to me," he said and as she took the cover to the dish off and the aroma hit him, he added, "and smells good too."
Chakotay helped B'Elanna get comfortably seated at the table, not any easy thing for the very pregnant woman to do. Then seated himself and started the process of pouring drinks and dishing up food. The two old friends fell back into their comfortable pattern of small talk as they ate the delicious stuffed chilies, only occasionally finding topics that made them uncomfortable. Finally B'Elanna told Chakotay to go to the replicator and request two servings of Torres-D1.
A pleasantly surprised Chakotay returned with a plate of Sopapillas and a container of honey, B'Elanna took the plate from him and said, "OK Chakotay, before you get a single one of these sweet treats I know you love, you have to answer a simple question."
'Uh oh,' Chakotay thought to himself, 'I knew this evening was going too well.' Out loud he said as innocently as he could, "What question would that be?"
"Why have you been avoiding me lately?" she asked
"I haven't been," he started.
"Don't give me that Bullshit! You have too been avoiding me. Now what gives?" B'Elanna demanded.
Chakotay stood there lost in thought for a moment. He wasn't sure he knew why he'd been avoiding her, but he did know a convenient way to prevaricate, "Well," he began slowly as he paced out of her immediate vicinity. "I guess I've been angry with you," he said.
"Angry with me, why?" she turned towards him awkwardly and asked puzzled.
"Because you choose the doctor as godfather for your baby instead of me." he answered trying to sound upset.
"Try again, pendejo," B'Elanna said hotly "and this time try the truth."
"What do you mean by that," Chakotay said, surprised that she'd seen through him so fast and also a bit shocked that she was swearing at him in Spanish instead of Klingon.
"Well first, that was months ago and you didn't start avoiding me until a couple of weeks ago and second, you had to know I wasn't going to choose you as my daughter's godfather when you are already her uncle," B'Elanna said.
"I'm not your baby's uncle," Chakotay said quickly and almost angrily B'Elanna thought.
"Oh so Neelix, is right, that is your problem," B'Elanna said.
"What's Neelix got to do with this?" Chakotay said in irritation.
"Chakotay, look could you sit down? This position is uncomfortable for me." B'Elanna requested in a gentle voice.
"Oh, of course, I'm sorry B'Elanna," Chakotay sat back down across from her. "Is this better?" he asked.
"Yes," she replied.
"So what does Neelix have to do with this?" he asked again.
B'Elanna toyed with one of the sopapillas, drizzling honey on the pillow-like treat while she consider how much to tell him. Well, in for a penny in for a pound she thought. As she vaguely realized she hadn't a clue what that old phrase actually referred to, she began her explanation. "A few of us were sitting around the mess hall the other day trying to figure out what had you so down in the mouth," B'Elanna glanced up from her treat just long enough to see that that revelation had truly shaken Chakotay. "And Neelix said -"
"Wait," Chakotay interrupted, "let me get this straight. You and some of the crew were sitting around the mess hall discussing my mood?"
"Yes, Chakotay, people do that when someone they care about seems to be upset, they get together and try to determine what might be wrong and they try to figure out how to help," B'Elanna said tenderly, yet with a note of consternation. "Now shut up so I can finish explaining what Neelix said."
Chakotay blinked but he didn't dare say anything.
"Neelix suggested that since receiving your sister's letter you were feeling guilty about your relationship with me, because for years now you've treated me like I was your little sister." B'Elanna wondered if she looked as surprised as Chakotay did. It seemed to her that Chakotay hadn't realized what the problem was until just now. Both B'Elanna and Chakotay were so preoccupied with their conversation that they didn't notice the sound of the door as Tom came in and he decided not to interrupt what looked like an important moment.
"That's it, that's what I've been feeling, but I hadn't been able to put my finger on it exactly. I think maybe I was afraid to, afraid that if I realized what it was that was bothering me, it would mean giving up our relationship or redefining it," Chakotay paused for a moment, then continued sadly, "And I guess it does."
B'Elanna almost couldn't believe what she was seeing, the man she thought of as her big brother looked like he was about to cry at the thought of losing her.
"You know Chakotay, I can't let you break my wife's heart by being so stupid as to try to redefine your relationship at this late date." Tom said.
Tom's words startled both Chakotay and B'Elanna, and as Chakotay started to speak Tom raised his hand and continued, "No, let me say my peace Chakotay, then you can say or do whatever you want."
Tom moved closer to the table where B'Elanna and Chakotay were sitting. "Look its wonderful that the sister born to you from your parent's love has somehow found her way back into your life, but her reappearance doesn't mean you have to abandon the sister born to your heart. Some of us are lucky enough to have more than one sister, I am. And you can be, if you choose to be. Chakotay there isn't suppose to be a limit on how many people you can love," with those words Tom stepped close enough to B'Elanna to put an arm around her and waited to see what the older man would do.
Chakotay got up from the table and walked towards Tom. A small part of Tom was nervous, Chakotay was a big man and very handy with his fists. "Once a long time ago my best friend became my brother-in-law, tonight I think my brother-in-law may have become my best friend." Chakotay said in a voice thick with emotion.
He reached out to shake Tom's hand but was pulled into a bear hug by the younger man instead, suddenly Chakotay found himself enveloped by the arms of Voyager's best pilot and her Chief Engineer, but to him he was in the arms of his family and boy did it feel good. After a few moments Tom cleared his throat, pulled away from Chakotay and B'Elanna and said, "OK, now that the group hug is over, are there any Sopapillas left?"
"Yes," replied Chakotay "but that's only because B'Elanna wouldn't let me have my share until we had our little discussion. So what's left is all mine, go replicate yourself your own."
Chakotay playfully gave Tom a shove towards the replicator. He grinned at Tom Paris. Tom could never replace his late brother-in-law Pacal, just as B'Elanna couldn't replace Maliya, but both of them could have special places in his heart. Chakotay promised himself to spend more time with the sister and brother-in-law he had right here with him now and one day he'd get to spend time with Maliya again.
"Tom," said B'Elanna, "not that I mind of course, but what are you doing home so early? I thought you and Harry were going to be playing captain Proton in the Holodeck tonight."
"Well, that was the plan," Tom said, and then thought what he should say and decided that staying as close to the truth as possible was the best policy, "but then we heard that the Captain's birthday party was moved up a day. I guess to be better able to surprise her?" As he said this Tom looked at Chakotay as if to ask if he knew why the date was changed but Chakotay just shrugged his shoulders. "Anyway Harry wanted to work on the holodeck program for the party. So we did, but I was getting to where I couldn't stand working on it anymore, so I thought I'd come home early and aren't you two glad I did," Tom replied as he returned with another plate of sopapillas.
"I don't know if B'Elanna is but I am. Thanks for helping me see what an idiot I was being avoiding B'Elanna because of Maliya," Chakotay said.
"Definitely an idiot and you got to pay for it with lots of double shifts. If you hadn't been avoiding me you could have come to me and I would have fixed the engineering shifts in a nanosecond," B'Elanna told Chakotay in an impish voice.
"Yeah well, while we're on the subject of what an idiot I can be-" Chakotay began and turned towards Tom. "Can you forgive me for my behavior on the bridge this morning?" he asked.
Tom thought about it for a second, how could he use this request for an apology to its best advantage. "Yes, on one condition," he replied.
"What condition?" Chakotay replied warily.
"That you explain yourself a bit. Why'd you say what you did? Are you jealous of me or something?" Tom prodded a bit.
"Hell yes, I'm jealous of you!" Chakotay bellowed, as he stood to pace the room. "You, you get to marry the woman you're in love with and have a baby with her but not me. Oh no, I can't even tell the woman I love how I feel about her, let alone dream of being with her, dream of her having my child." Chakotay ran his fingers through his hair and turned his face away from Tom and B'Elanna, not wanting them to witness his turmoil.
"I don't know how you can go on loving that, that - icy bitch," B'Elanna spluttered.
Chakotay swung around towards B'Elanna and for a moment Tom was afraid for her. "Don't you ever call her that again or say anything like that about her," he said sharply. "You don't understand her," Chakotay continued more calmly, "and what's worse you don't even try," he added forlornly.
Chakotay felt compelled to try and make her understand the situation. "You said a while ago that some of you were gathered in the mess hall to talk about why I was down because you cared about me. That shows me that I have friends on this ship. I even have family." Chakotay gestured to Tom and B'Elanna.
"Whom does Kathryn have?" he asked, and looked intently at Tom and B'Elanna causing them to look away from his intense visage.
"Oh sure," he continued after he was sure they weren't going to respond to his question, "if the crew sensed she was down they might gather in the mess hall to talk about it. But they'd be talking about the Captain, not Kathryn. None of you know Kathryn, so don't judge her and don't ask how I can still be in love with her. I'll go to my grave in love with that woman," he declared.
Chakotay finally had run out of steam, he sank down on the couch. He was emotionally exhausted; the last few days had been incredibly trying especially when you added in what the side effects of neutralizing the boosters was doing to him.
"I'm sorry Chakotay, I shouldn't have said what I did," B'Elanna said as she came over and stood near him. "But you know Chakotay it's hard to see you get hurt over and over again because of her. And well, I'd like to get to know her, but how can I when she won't let people in?" she asked apologetically.
Chakotay reached up, and drew the sister his heart had adopted down next to him, "I know B'Elanna, you just have to be vigilant and when you sense a breech in her defenses you have to move in and be prepared to go over, under or around whatever new wall she puts up. Oh and you can't always play fair," he added.
"Oh and how is it that you don't always play fair?" B'Elanna asked, amused to hear Chakotay say something like that.
"Well, primarily two things. One, I see how often I can get away with calling her Kathryn while we're on duty and two, I grin at her a lot," Chakotay replied.
"You grin at her?" B'Elanna asked incredulously.
"Yeah," Chakotay looked down at his feet and B'Elanna wasn't sure in the dim lighting of her living area, but she thought he might just be blushing, "She can't resist dimples," Chakotay answered.
Tom and B'Elanna both laughed long and hard about that.
The three of them sat in the living room talking and laughing some more and making plans for "Kathryn's party". Suddenly Chakotay realized that B'Elanna was getting so very tired she was about to fall asleep against him.
"Well Tom, I think I'd better let you tuck my little sister in bed, she seems to be very sleepy," he said.
B'Elanna lifted her head and said, "Am not," then yawned. The two men laughed at her.
Chakotay got up from the couch, then knelt down and kissed B'Elanna's tummy, which made her giggle. Then he laid his head down on her belly and proceeded to have a short conversation with the unborn child. "Good night little one, I'm sorry I ever denied you were my niece. Guess you'll just have to bear in mind that your Uncle Chakotay's not always the sharpest crayon in the box," he said.
With that Tom escorted Chakotay to the door and said goodnight.
"Well, was that a successful mission or what?" B'Elanna asked.
"Well he sure seemed to be in better shape going out of here than he was earlier today," agreed Tom. "Now lets just hope there are no more major upsets for a while and that the party comes off the way we planned. Come on sleepyhead, let's get you to bed," he said as he supported his exhausted wife back to their bed.