May 18, 2378 0730 Mess Hall
Chakotay headed to the mess hall before alpha shift. Almost as soon as he entered the room he spotted Joe Carey. After getting his favorite breakfast from Neelix, he headed over to the table Joe was sitting at.
"Good Morning, Joe. How are you feeling?" Chakotay asked.
"What's that old expression? Great to be alive or is that grateful?" Joe answered with a smile.
"Well either way it's good to have you back," Chakotay replied.
"Yeah, from what I hear about your pulling double shifts I bet you are," Joe teased a little. "So since when can't you do a little better scheduling duty shifts than that?
"Ask B'Elanna about it OK, Joe? I'd prefer not to think about it anymore, let alone explain it," Chakotay answered regretfully.
"OK boss, I think I know when to leave well enough alone," Joe replied and returned to eating his breakfast.
"You know what the only good thing was about being made to take so much time off?" Joe asked a few moments later.
"No what?" Chakotay asked grateful that Joe had let him off the hook on the scheduling business but also glad to keep talking to the engineer.
"I finally finished the model of Voyager I was working on," Joe said with a beaming smile.
"The one in the bottle?" Chakotay asked.
Joe had just stuck a huge mouthful of pancakes in his mouth so he simply nodded.
"Hey how'd you rate?" Joe said, suddenly noticing that not only was he enjoying one of his favorite breakfasts, but so was Chakotay.
"What do you mean?" Chakotay asked a bit confused.
"I know why I got my favorite breakfast, sort of a welcome back to the land of the living, but how come you got your favorite breakfast?" Joe asked.
"Oh, Neelix is in on the conspiracy to cheer me up."
"You need cheering up?"
"Well I did, but I'm getting better. I mean there are still a few things bugging me but I … really I'm fine." Chakotay replied, a bit awkwardly.
"If you say so. Well, I'm gonna shove off." Joe said as he stood up from the table and grabbed his tray. "Don't want to be late first day back to work, especially when I'm taking the chief's place. "Take care of yourself. And Chakotay –" Joe leaned back in towards the first officer, "in case you're wrong about being OK, I'd be glad to lend you an ear anytime you need one."
"Thanks, Joe." Chakotay said, and as he looked up into the engineer's eyes, he realized the other man meant what he said. Yet again reminding him that the crewmembers of this ship weren't just subordinates he was responsible for, but friends who cared about him. That knowledge didn't cure all that ailed him, but it certainly was balm on a wounded soul.
May 18, 2378 Alpha Shift with the EMH
For both Chakotay and Joe Carey Alpha shift was smooth and uneventful, but for The Doctorit was a bit more trying. He started it off by sending B'Elanna home after yet another bout of Braxton-Hicks. He didn't want to worry her or Tom, but he felt that one more of these episodes and she'd go into premature labor. It seemed that his goddaughter was impatient to join the crew of Voyager.
Thinking about the birth of a baby made him think of what he needed to do today. He needed to gather all the information he wanted to share with Deanna Troi during the two minutes of time he would be permitted in today's communication window, which would happen at 1347 today. He had decided that he would write a memo to be uploaded to Deanna with the details of his concerns about Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay's "situation" and he would append both of their medical charts. He hoped he would be able to convey to Deanna in the two minutes he had how important and how delicate this situation was and that she in turn could get someone at Star Fleet Medical to give a second medical opinion, and finally that Deanna and whoever she had consulted with would agree with him as to the next appropriate action. He knew that if he wasn't completely successful in convincing her during his two-minute talk that he'd have to hope his memo was more eloquent. He bent to the task of writing the memo as diligently as he would to conducting research to cure someone of a disease. Then again, given the peculiar way the captain and commander behaved perhaps one could say they were sick, lovesick the EMH thought to himself drolly.
The EMH waited anxiously in Astrometrics for the communications window to open. He had spoken to Seven of Nine, and while she didn't fully understand why she should wait outside Astrometrics during his communications with Deanna Troi, she was willing to "comply".
As soon as the view screen cleared The Doctor began speaking, "Ah, Deanna its good to see you again."
"Yes, Doctor its good to see you too. What…" Deanna started to say.
"Look, I could only get 2 minutes of time today so I must keep this brief. I'm uploading a memo with some attached medical records. Its important that you get a second medical opinion on the recommendation in that memo and I need your psychological and ethical opinion on the situation."
"Can you at least give me some idea of what's in your memo?" Deanna asked a bit frustrated that the EMH hadn't given her any details yet.
"Yes, of course." He answered realizing how little he'd given her to go on. "Are you aware of the recent controversy over long term use of contraceptive boosters?" he asked her.
"Yes, I've been kept fairly busy counseling patients because of it," she replied.
"Well Voyager's captain and first officer came to me separately to ask me to neutralize their boosters," he began to explain.
"Ah, I see the problem, you're wondering whether you should ignore the standing protocols against …" Deanna began.
"No, I've already neutralized their boosters," the EMH said interrupting Deanna.
"Would explaining why you violated the protocols help explain the second opinion you want and what ethical problem you're having now?" Deanna asked with a hint of rebuke in her voice.
"Yes, I think so. As I said Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay came to me separately but each said nearly the same thing. They are deeply in love with each other, which came as no surprise to me nor would it to anyone else on this ship for that matter, but they refuse to become intimately involved as long as this ship is in the Delta Quadrant. However, each of them cherishes the same dream, that once they return to the Alpha quadrant they will be able to marry each other and have at least one child. They both told me that Star Fleet has some plan to get this ship back in ten years time and they think that leaves them time to have that child. As her doctor, it is my opinion that she doesn't have another ten years to wait to have a child. My ethical dilemma is that I want to give them this information, as well as my recommendation, together, as a couple, so they can make a decision about whether to change the nature of their relationship. But, because they're not married or even engaged I should only give the information to her. Yet I'm fairly sure, if I do that she won't share the information with him and will end up making a very noble, self-sacrificing decision, as is her nature. The problem is, she'll be making that decision for both of them and he will be unaware of the circumstances."
"Doctor, I will do everything in my power to help you in this situation. I'm meeting with Dr. Crusher for lunch today, we'll discuss the situation and I'll get back to you tomorrow with our recommendations."
"Thank you, Deanna," the EMH said just as Seven of Nine and the crewman who was to speak to his family next entered Astrometrics.
May 18, 2378 1300 San Francisco Earth Alpha Quadrant
Deanna looked up from her iced tea and waved at Beverly Crusher. The attractive redheaded doctor came over to join her friend and colleague for their weekly lunch. Deanna had forwarded the memo from Voyager's EMH and the attached medical records to Beverly. They'd arranged to discuss the situation during their regular lunch meeting, but had agreed to wait until desert was served.
As the waiter brought Deanna "Death by Chocolate" and a sensible fruit sorbet to Beverly, Deanna brought up the subject of Voyager's command team, "So Beverly what do you think of Voyager's CMO's dilemma?"
"Well you know I've never been fond of emergency medical holograms and the thought of one serving as CMO…" Beverly pretended to shudder. "But, I'd have to say he's done a pretty good job so far. I doubt a flesh and blood doctor would have come to different conclusions."
"Would you have overlooked the protocols and administered the neutralizing agent for the boosters to them?" Deanna asked.
"Yes, I would have and before you ask, if I knew the captain and the commander as well as a CMO should after seven years, I would probably have done the same reproductive workup he did, and I would have consulted the ship's counselor about how to proceed, which is basically what the EMH has done considering there isn't a counselor on board. I really can't fault him on how he is handling this situation," Beverly replied.
"Do you agree with his assessment of her fertility?" Deanna asked.
"Yes, sadly he's right. She's not going to have the normal reproductive span for a number of reasons, chief among them the disease she suffered and the injuries she's sustained, coupled with the chronic stress. If she wants to have a child with Chakotay she has three choices, that is, if and when the effects of the boosters dissipate: she can try to get pregnant the old-fashioned way; or have the EMH harvest some eggs, have them fertilized with Chakotay's sperm and then place the zygotes in stasis; or have her eggs harvested and place the unfertilized eggs in stasis to be fertilized later. The first choice has the best chance of resulting in a healthy baby. The chances that a fertilized egg could be successfully implanted in Kathryn ten years from now are slim and that she could carry the fetus long enough for the child to be viable is even worse. I'd say the chance of her delivering a healthy baby ten years from now are in the range of 12-15%. The chances of a compatible surrogate mother being successfully implanted and then carrying to term is only marginally better, say 20-25%."
"What do you think her chances are if she goes ahead and tries to get pregnant 'the old-fashioned way' when the boosters effects have worn off?" Deanna asked.
"If both of them have a rebound in their fertility to normal levels, I'd say the chances they can conceive without any assistance in the first year after they start trying is probably between 50 and 75%. That is the same as any other healthy couple in their age bracket," Beverly responded. "Now, my turn to ask you some questions."
"Given Kathryn Janeway's psychological profile, if EMH only informs her of the situation, will she tell Chakotay?" Beverly asked.
"It's difficult to predict such things, but I think it's likely she wouldn't tell him. She has a high propensity for guilt. She blames herself for stranding her crew in the Delta quadrant. Her keeping Commander Chakotay at arm's length all these years is more than likely a form of self-penance," Deanna responded.
"It would be awful to think of a wonderful guy like Chakotay not having a chance to be a father," Beverly mused.
"Do you know the commander?" Deanna asked.
"Yes, though I don't know that he would remember me. The one time I met him he was not at his best, but he still made quite an impression on me," Beverly said with a smile.
"Well… go on, tell me about it." Deanna urged her friend, her face lit up with a grin.
"I won't soon forget it. It was about 10 months before I was appointed to the Enterprise, the earth equivalent date was November 19th 2362. I was stationed on Star Base 47. It had been a very busy day in the infirmary as one beat up humanoid after another kept arriving all shift long. Apparently one of the station's bars was holding a 'bare knuckles last man standing boxing competition' and what I was seeing all afternoon were the losers. Finally, in came this very inebriated, very battered, extremely handsome commander," Beverly paused to take a sip of her drink.
"Commander Chakotay I presume?" Deanna inquired.
"Yes, seems his buddies from the Gettysburg had decided to help the commander celebrate his recent promotion and his imminent transfer to Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards where he was to oversee the completion of a Galaxy class ship and then assume the first officer duties on that ship when it launched," Beverly told Deanna.
"Wait, are you trying to say that Commander Chakotay was suppose to be the first officer of the Enterprise D?" asked Deanna incredulously.
"That was the rumor. Anyway he'd taken a lot of damage in this boxing competition and I decided to ask him some simple questions to see if he had any sort of neurological damage."
Nov 19, 2362 Star Base 47 Infirmary
"Commander, what's your name?" Beverly asked the handsome man laying on the biobed in front of her.
"Chakotay. What's your name, beautiful?" the drunken officer replied.
Beverly ignored the clumsy pass by her attractive patient and continued with her evaluation of his concussion.
"Do you know what day it is, Commander?"
"Sure do, it's my birthday? Want to help me celebrate?" he added with a captivating smile.
'Gods,' Beverly thought 'even drunk and beaten to a pulp this guy's a charmer.'
She looked back at his buddies who had brought him in with an expression that asked if it really was the commander's birthday.
One of the other officers said, "Yeah it really is his birthday ma'am, its part of why we were celebrating."
"And the other part?" she asked.
"Well, he just got promoted to Commander and he's to be transferred to Utopia Planitia to oversee the completion of a new Galaxy class ship and well you know the guy sent to oversee the completion of a big ship like that is probably gonna be made the XO," the officer replied, obviously excited for his friend.
"I see," Beverly said and then turned her attention to her patient again. "So tell me commander, how old are you today?"
"Really or officially?" Chakotay asked earnestly.
"Uh, is there a difference?" Beverly asked uncertainly.
"Yep, sure is. Officially I'm 30 but I'm really 27," Chakotay answered with a grin.
Crusher turned on the officers that had brought Chakotay in and asked, "What did you get him drunk on?"
They all grinned and simultaneously responded, "Romulan Ale!"
'It figured they'd get him drunk on the one liquor universal known to act almost as effectively as sodium pentothal on humans. Well she might as well hear the end of this story.' Beverly thought.
"So how is it that your official age and your real age don't match, Commander?" Beverly asked.
"I'll tell you, Doc, if you stop calling me commander and start calling me Chakotay," he bargained.
"All right Chakotay, tell me why your real age and official age don't match," she asked, humoring the good-looking officer.
"I lied on my application to Star Fleet Academy so I wouldn't need my parent's permission to get in," Chakotay was too drunk to register the shocked inhalations of breath by his buddies and everyone else in the infirmary. In his drunken state he'd forgotten he could be drummed out of Star Fleet for lying on his application.
May 18, 2378 1340
"Well as I know he continued on in Star Fleet they obviously didn't cashier him out for the lie, but just as obviously he didn't get to be XO on the Enterprise, so what happened?" Deanna asked.
"Well, one of his victims in that bare-knuckles tournament was still in the infirmary when Chakotay made his admission and the fellow was not only a loser, but a sore one to boot. So the guy made sure the information got back to Star Fleet command. They demoted him back to lieutenant. So he had to make the climb back up the ranks again."
"Bet he never drank Romulan ale again." Deanna ventured.
"Yea, I wonder if he ever had his nose fixed?" Beverly pondered.
"What?" Deana asked.
"I left a bit of a bump in his nose as a reminder not to box, and besides, I thought it made him sexier looking, not that he needed any help in that department, mind you." Crusher confessed.
"Sounds like you fancied him a bit," Deanna teased.
"Only as someone easy on the eyes, Deanna. After all I do prefer older men not younger," Beverly replied with a suggestive raise of her eyebrows.
"So back to the present my friend. What do we tell Voyager's CMO?" Deanna asked.
"Well, I have no qualms at all about him discussing her options with both of them, after all he did say they both spoke as if they were engaged or in a committed relationship, so I don't see that as being an ethical bind. Sure they don't want to broach this topic, but its time they acted like grownups for a change," Beverly responded with her opinion.
"Yes I think it's the best choice, I just wish we had some sort of leverage to give Voyager's CMO." Deanna said thoughtfully.
"Oh, I'm going to give him some leverage. I'm going to send a directive as the head of Star Fleet Medical that the anti-fraternization protocol is hereby suspended on Voyager. I'm also going to direct that, unless the commanding officers of Voyager can demonstrate to their CMO a mature attitude towards a healthy sexual relationship between consenting adults, that they be relieved of command until such time that they can demonstrate such an attitude to his satisfaction," Beverly said slapping her hand on the table to emphasize her point.
Deanna grinned, "I think, Beverly, that you're about to make things up to the commander for inadvertently getting him demoted. But don't you think you're second directive may be seen as being a bit extreme?"
"No, not really. Deanna, think about it. You have a crew of nearly 150 young healthy, unattached humanoids, who have been living in close quarters with each other for the last 6 and a half years, but there has only been one marriage. Does that sound normal to you?" Before Deanna could respond Beverly added, "Not everyone on that ship is constrained by the anti-fraternization protocols you know."
"Yes, there should have been considerable more long term relationships established in that time frame, one would expect nearly two-thirds of the ship to be in committed relationships by this time," Deanna replied.
"And to what would you attribute this anomalous behavior?" Beverly inquired.
Deanna felt certain that Beverly had her own opinion on the matter and that her opinion was reflected in her second directive.
"I suppose you could attribute it to a failure of the command team to lead by example. I mean, how would it feel to be a couple on that ship, knowing that your commanding officers were in love with each other, and from what The Doctor says everyone on the ship knows that, but also knowing that they would not become involved because of protocols or a misguided sense of duty to the crew? Could you comfortably go to the captain to ask her to perform a marriage ceremony?" Deanna asked rhetorically.
"It seems so far only one couple have had the chutzpah to do it and considering who they are, and considering their relationships to the command team, maybe they are the only ones who can while this emotional stalemate continues," Beverly observed.
"I'm sorry what did you mean by who they are and their relationships to the command team?" Deanna asked thrown a bit by the addition of that comment in Beverly's explanation.
"Voyager's only married couple are the chief engineer Lt. B'Elanna Torres and Voyager's best pilot Lt. Tom Paris, Admiral Paris' son. B'Elanna was in the Maquis with Chakotay and Owen Paris was one of Katherine Janeway's mentor's," Beverly explained.
"Ah, so Lieutenant Torres is most likely close to Commander Chakotay and Captain Janeway may feel some sort of familial attachment to Lt. Paris," Deanna concluded.
"Exactly, so they may have a bit more leeway when it comes to exploring their relationship than the rest of the crew feel they have a right to, considering their commanding officer's position on observing protocol and sacrificing their own relationship for the sake of their duty to the ship."
"Well, when you put it that way, I suppose your second directive is reasonable," Deanna observed. "Let's make sure The Doctor fully understands your reasoning for the second directive."
May 19th, 2378 1015 Bridge
Things were almost back to normal today with Chakotay and the Captain both on Alpha shift, or at least as back to normal as they could be for a ship ostensibly planning a surprise birthday party for its captain while actually planning a party to cheer up their first officer. Well that and considering that nearly every male member of the crew over 30 was suffering the effects of neutralizing the contraceptive boosters. For his part Chakotay found it necessary to excuse himself from the bridge to work in his office, as the captain's presence was proving to be too distracting to him.
To: Tom Paris
From: Harry Kim
Time: 1015
Good thing Chakotay left the bridge I was definitely getting an inferiority complex. Man, that was either a phaser in his pants or he was happy to see the captain.
To Harry Kim
From: Tom Paris
Time 10:16
Harry,
1) Just because you and Gerron are young enough to not have to go off the boosters, does not mean you should poke fun at the older guys, who are suffering from the neutralization side effects.
2) Do you remember my mentioning that just the other day the Captain hacked into padd messages on the bridge?
Tom turned around to see Harry gulping and nervously looking at the Captain. He decided to get his younger friend off the hook. "Captain, how are you going to get the commander to the party this evening?"
"I invited him to have dinner with me and I'm going to tell him we're eating in a little Italian bistro on the holodeck, which by the way in case he says something about it, you designed the café," the captain replied.
"OK, well let's hope he's not too disappointed with the party instead of an Italian dinner with you," Tom replied teasingly.
"Tom…" the captain said in a friendly but warning tone.
"OK. Say, are you gonna submit a song request or a dedication to the DJ?" Tom asked. He'd come up with the idea of playing 20th and 21st century songs at the party and allowing the crew to make requests and to dedicate songs to someone. He presumed most would be to Chakotay, although since Chakotay thought the party was for the captain he'd already received a dedication from Chakotay to the Captain, well actually for Kathryn and boy was it romantic - "The Rose" by Bette Midler.
"Well I'm thinking about it but I can't make up my mind between a couple of songs," she replied.
"Well why not request both, I mean there ought to be some advantage to being the captain." Tom said.
"Maybe I'll do that," She replied. 'Yes, maybe "The Wind Beneath My Wings" from the Captain and "Can You Read My Mind" from Kathryn, she thought to herself.
The rest of the alpha shift proceeded smoothly on the bridge, meanwhile in Astrometrics, the EMH was receiving a response to his consultation with Deanna Troi. The Doctor was both pleased and a bit surprised. Not only had Deanna and Dr. Crusher agreed with him, but Dr. Crusher had also used her position as Chief of Star Fleet Medical to force the captain and commander to deal with their relationship for the good of the crew. He did not think he would have thought of quite that tactic himself, but he was glad Dr. Crusher had given him so much leverage, however he wondered how they'd take it. The Doctor decided to speak to them after their shifts were over for the day.
May 19th, 2378 1605 Sickbay
Kathryn made her way towards sickbay wondering what The Doctor wanted to talk to her about. Perhaps he had learned something more about the side effects of neutralizing boosters.
As she entered sickbay, she called out to The Doctor, "Good afternoon doctor. Now what was it you wanted to talk to me about, is it something about the contraceptive boosters?"
"Yes, in a way it is," he replied.
"Well?" the captain asked impatiently.
"Why don't you come into my office captain?" The Doctor said stalling a bit waiting for Commander Chakotay to arrive.
"Alright," the captain replied with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
"Please sit down. Are you comfortable? Can I get you something?" The Doctor asked continuing to delay and beginning to wonder where Commander Chakotay was.
"No doctor, I'd simply like to talk about whatever it is you called me down here to discuss."
Kathryn was now curious about the doctor's delaying tactics.
Just at that moment Chakotay entered Sickbay and called out, "Doctor?"
"In here Commander Chakotay," The Doctor called back.
"Sorry I was delayed doc…" Chakotay said as he came into the doctor's office and noticed Kathryn sitting in front of the doctor's desk.
"Please Commander take a seat and we can get started," The Doctor said motioning to the empty chair in front of his desk.
Only as The Doctor asked Chakotay to sit down did it dawn on Kathryn that there were two chairs in front of the doctor's desk rather than the usual one. She wondered why The Doctor would want both of them there at the same time.
Chakotay was puzzled about why The Doctor would want to speak to both him and Kathryn at the same time, but considered that perhaps The Doctor simply thought there was something she should know as captain that he too should be aware of as the ship's unofficial counselor.
The Doctor found himself a bit nervous about this upcoming conversation so he decided to start out jokingly, "I'm sure you're wondering why I've asked you here."
The captain and commander gave him weak smiles and the captain said a bit impatiently, "Yes doctor, I think I made it clear earlier that I was curious about just that."
"Yes well, as you suggested this is partly about the contraceptive boosters," The Doctor began.
"Do you have information about the side effects of neutralizing the boosters?" Chakotay interjected.
"Yes, but that's not the primary reason I've asked you here," The Doctor replied.
"I'm not sure where to start," The Doctor began hesitantly.
"Perhaps at the beginning," Kathryn suggested with growing impatience.
"Yes, I suppose that's as good a place as any." The EMH said thoughtfully. "A few days ago Commander Chakotay brought the article on the contraceptive boosters to my attention," as The Doctor paused Chakotay fidgeted in his chair worried about what The Doctor would reveal. "He then proceeded to ask me to neutralize his booster. I resisted until he explained his reason."
"Doctor," Chakotay almost snarled at the EMH, "you said you would respect my privacy and observe doctor-patient confidentiality."
"Yes I did, but if you will let me finish what I was going to say, I think you'll understand that what I'm doing is very much in your best interest."
The Doctor stopped to see if Chakotay was going to calm down and listen, and to his pleasure he saw the Commander begin to rein in his temper.
"As I was saying, when he told me why he wanted to have the contraceptive boosters neutralized I agreed to do it. But it wasn't until you came in 8 hours later and made the same request," The Doctor paused and looked at the two people in front of him very deliberately, then looked Kathryn Janeway in the eyes and said, "and gave me the same reason that I realized there were a number of things I needed to check on immediately."
The Doctor almost wished he didn't have any more to say because watching the emotions flicker across the command team's faces as they realized that they shared the same dream was captivating.
"As soon as I realized that you both wanted to have a child together after we return to the Alpha quadrant, I wanted to check to see if that would be possible, if the boosters wear off as they are supposed to. I'm very sorry to say this Captain … Kathryn, but my analysis showed that due to the illnesses, injuries and near constant stress you've endured in the Delta quadrant you would not be able to become pregnant ten years from now, I believe you have 5 to 7 years of fertility left to you. I wanted to check with another doctor to see if I was correct and I also wanted to see what a counselor would say about my giving you this information together with Chakotay. So I contacted Counselor Deanna Troi, who in turn contacted Dr. Beverly Crusher, the Chief of Star Fleet Medical," The Doctor watched the stunned couple taking in what he had told them so far. He could see that Kathryn was on the verge of tears so he wanted to hurry and finish what he was saying so he could give her some hope.
"Unfortunately Dr. Crusher confirmed my findings and she and Deanna agreed with me that you should hear this information together as a couple. Kathryn you do have alternatives," The Doctor said gently.
"After the effects of the boosters dissipate, I could harvest several of your eggs and place them in stasis to be fertilized later or I could collect some of your eggs and have them fertilized with Chakotay's sperm, then place the zygotes in stasis. When we arrive in the Alpha quadrant we could then attempt to prepare you for implantation of a fertilized egg in your uterus or if that is not possible a compatible surrogate mother could be implanted," The EMH noticed Kathryn brighten visibly as he explained her alternatives.
"However, neither of those scenarios is very likely to produce the healthy baby you want. The chances that you would be able to carry and deliver your own baby 10 years from now are about 12-15%. The chances that a compatible surrogate mother would be able to are only marginally better, perhaps 20-25%."
"Do the chances improve by harvesting more eggs?" Kathryn asked.
"No, not really. Each attempt at implantation would have about the same chance of resulting in a healthy pregnancy, its not as though if you keep trying you are guaranteed it will work, and frankly, the emotional devastation of trying over and over again is not something I'd recommend," The Doctor replied gently.
"Your best chance to have a child together is to wait until after the effects of the boosters have dissipated and the danger of genetic anomalies has decreased, then attempt to conceive 'the old fashioned way' as Dr. Crusher put it," The Doctor noticed a hint of blush on both Kathryn and Chakotay's face with his last comment.
"What are the odds that Kathryn could conceive and bear a healthy child if we did as you suggest?" Chakotay asked still a bit embarrassed.
"If both of you recover your normal fertility and do nothing more than engage in unprotected intercourse when the mood strikes you, I'd say there would be a 50-75% chance that within a year she would be pregnant. And there are a few simple ways to increase those odds dramatically," The Doctor replied. He noticed that they both seemed pensive but hopeful.
"I need to make you aware of two directives from Dr. Crusher, and please bear in mind two things, one I did not suggest these directives to her and most importantly as Chief of Star Fleet Medical her directives carry as much weight as orders from Star Fleet Headquarters," The Doctor paused to see if he had the couple's attention.
"First," he began quoting from a pad, "the anti-fraternization protocol is hereby suspended for the duration of Voyager's mission in the Delta quadrant. No officer shall be disciplined for fraternizing with a subordinate this includes romantic associations. Star Fleet does not of course condone any behavior that might be deemed sexual harassment but has every confidence in its personnel's ability to conduct themselves as mature and compassionate beings.
Second, Star Fleet Medical is concerned that there appears to be a lack off romantic attachments between crewmembers that were previously not constrained by the anti-fraternization protocol. It is the considered opinion of the CMO of Star Fleet Medical that this behavior is a direct result of the most senior officers inappropriate denial of their romantic attraction to each other. Therefore, as a consequence of their failure to lead by example, they are endangering the mental and emotional well being of their crew. The CMO of Voyager is hereby directed to charge the captain and first officer of Voyager to demonstrate to his satisfaction and within a reasonable time frame that they are capable of a mature attitude towards a healthy sexual relationship between consenting adults or be relieved of command."
"What?" Kathryn and Chakotay simultaneously demanded.
"I believe you both heard and understood what I read. Dr Crusher believes it's high time you two acted like adults and discuss your feelings. I shouldn't be the one to hear how much you love each other, you should be talking to one another about your feelings and your dreams for the future!" The Doctor responded in exasperation.
The strained silence in the doctor's office was almost overwhelming. Finally The Doctor cleared his throat and said, "Well I know what you've heard today is unsettling and will take a while to process but I want you to know that while Dr. Crusher's second directive surprised me, I fully intend to enforce it. I will however give you a few days to deal with things. And now if you don't mind I have a few things to attend to," The Doctor said by way of dismissing himself.
Kathryn and Chakotay rose silently from the office chairs and proceeded out of sickbay in silence. When they arrived at the turbolift Chakotay requested deck three. They continued their journey towards their quarters walking so close to one another that it seemed as though he were supporting her, though in truth they weren't touching each other. They walked in silence each lost in his or her thoughts. When they reached the captain's quarters she turned to Chakotay.
"Do you want to come in and talk," she asked very reluctantly.
"No," he replied. "I think we each need a little time alone to sort out our own feelings about this situation before we discuss it."
"Yes," she said relieved and not really surprised to hear him articulate what she was feeling. He almost always knew what she needed, sometimes even before she knew it.
"How about you meet me here about 1845 and we'll go to the holodeck for dinner? We can talk afterwards."
"The holodeck?" he said, wondering if someone had let slip the plans for the party.
"Yes, Tom told me he's got this new program, an Italian bistro, I thought we'd try it. Unless you'd rather not?" she offered reflexively.
"No, no it sounds great," he responded, thinking both how clever Tom was and how relieved he was that he wouldn't have to think of an excuse to get them to the party.
"Besides Italian food from a holodeck program of Tom's sounds better than something from that recalcitrant replicator of yours," he added, wisely blaming the replicator rather than the operator.
"I knew it, you don't like my cooking," she said feigning a hurt expression.
"Well… it's not one of your greatest talents, but I'm a tolerant and forgiving man," Chakotay teased.
"Yes, you are," Kathryn replied softly and very earnestly.
Chakotay felt they needed to part before he said or did something stupid, so he pulled away from her and started towards his door saying, "I'll be back later to pick you up."
She smiled at him and said, "OK" just before disappearing into her quarters.
May 19th, 2378 1630 Chakotay's Quarters
Chakotay wondered what to do with the time he had on his hands. He had a couple of hours before he had to pick Kathryn up and it would only take him a half hour or so to shower and dress. Maybe he should take that long delayed vision quest he'd been promising himself he would take. Yes that felt right, maybe talking to his animal guide would help him come to some decision about this most recent turn of events.
Chakotay went to the shelf where he kept his medicine bundle and brought it down. He sat cross-legged in the middle of his living area and opened the bundle. He took out the carved river stone and held it in his hand for a moment then placed it down and put his hand on the akoonah.
"A-koo-chee-moya. I am far from the sacred places of our grandfathers. I am far from the bones of our people. But perhaps in these unnamed skies there is one powerful being who will embrace me and give me the answers I seek."
Chakotay found himself seated on a log in front of a fire that his father Kolopak was tending. He had expected to find his spirit guide waiting for him.
"The wolf was here earlier but I think she grew tired of waiting for you, chico." Kolopak said.
Chakotay was a bit surprised and maybe even angry that his father called him chico - boy. Kolopak rarely spoke Spanish though nearly everyone in the tribe spoke it fluently as a second language; in fact most spoke it better than Federation Standard. Kolopak said they should all stick to their dialect of Mayan because Spanish represented the language of the conquerors, the oppressors. Generally the only time his father spoke in Spanish was to curse. Maybe that's what he was doing now, Chakotay thought.
"I'm not a boy, father," Chakotay stated testily.
"They say a man sees his children as children until they are parents themselves," Kolopak replied.
"Oh so my little sister Maliya is a woman not a girl because she has children but I'm still a boy because I don't?" Chakotay asked hotly.
"Actually it is not because you are childless that I think of you as a boy, but because you still so often respond to situations like a child. You are afraid to be hurt and afraid to sustain a loss so you avoid confrontation," Kolopak said to his son.
Chakotay stood and began to pace and gesture with his hands as he responded.
"What do you know of hurt and loss? Did your father reject you for being unable to walk the same path as him?"
Chakotay gave Kolopak no time to respond but continued on.
"No, he was still by your side even when he became a crazy old man. When you fell in love with mother were there any barriers to your making her your own? No, you only had to brave the fear of rejection; there were no rules against your being her husband. Did you lose your entire family and all your childhood friends before you ever realized how much you loved and needed them?"
By this time tears were streaming down Chakotay's face and it was hard to understand his words.
Kolopak stood and came close to his son.
"I disagreed with your choices yes, but I never rejected you, son. I couldn't do that, I love you."
At this point, Kolopak took his son in his arms and held him and stroked his hair until the younger man's crying subsided.
"You have faced more pain and suffering in your lifetime than most men ever do and that is why I am confused now about how you are responding to situations. Why is my strong, brave son running and hiding from these latest pains?" Kolopak asked as he released Chakotay and looked at him.
"I don't know father, maybe because all of these things: learning Maliya was still alive and feeling so guilty about my relationship with B'Elanna, learning that my dream to be with Kathryn and have a child with her was endangered and that Boothby died, they all came at me at once while I was so tired, tired of doing what I have to do or should do, instead of what I want to do," Chakotay answered in a weary voice.
"Your friend Boothby visited me recently. I'm glad you had a wise and caring mentor like that when you were at the academy. You were so very young to be so far from your family and your people," Kolopak told Chakotay.
Chakotay started guiltily at his father's words.
"You needn't feel guilty because you thought of Boothby as a second father, as you have recently learned there is room in a heart for the family you are born to as well as the those who come to feel like family."
The truth of his father's words as well as his smile warmed Chakotay. He sat back down and began to speak his heart to his father.
"You know, often times Boothby's lessons were the same as ones you tried to teach me. I guess I just wasn't ready to learn them when you presented them."
"Maybe I was pushing you too hard, trying to make you learn things before you were ready for them," Kolopak conceded.
"Maybe or maybe I was just being contrary." Chakotay suggested.
Kolopak laughed and pushed his son affectionately as he replied, "Yes, that's probably the answer."
"So how do you feel about learning your sister and niece are alive?" Kolopak asked.
"Conflicted, I'm happy they are alive, but angry at the thought that I didn't protect them from what they must have been through," Chakotay said.
"Chakotay, I was there and so were Pacal and Baal. If we could not protect her what more could you have done? I know I told you when you were a small boy that Maliya was your responsibility, but she's a grown woman now, responsible for herself," Kolopak told Chakotay in an attempt to console him.
"I guess," he responded, not sounding at all convinced.
Kolopak decided to move on to the more difficult issue. "And what of this woman you long for, what is it now that keeps you two apart? What is it that prevents your dream of seeing her grow fat with your child?"
"So much father and so little. There was a time when I doubted whether she felt the same for me as I do for her, but now I know she does, but still I know she will resist our being together." Chakotay replied.
"Why? If she loves you as you love her why would she resist? Is there still some impediment to your joining?" Kolopak asked gently.
"Well, the protocol that stood between us has been suspended and we've more or less been ordered to discuss our feelings." Chakotay added the last part resentfully.
"I see and are you going to let your contrary nature rob you of this opportunity to discuss things with her?' Kolopak asked.
"No, I mean I don't like to be forced to do things even when its something I want to do. You know that, I've been that way all my life."
"Yes," Kolopak chuckled and at his son's curious look continued, "sorry I was just thinking about how when you were little you would howl about having to take a bath and then howl just as loudly about not wanting to get out of the tub!" Chakotay gave his father an 'I can't believe you said that' look and Kolopak finished with "Wait until you're a father, you'll understand."
"That's just it, I may not get to be a father. Now at least I know Kathryn wants a baby, my baby." He smiled at that thought for a moment. "But I'm certain she won't want to have one while we are out here in the Delta quadrant, while she has so much responsibility on her shoulders. I'm not even sure I want to have a child out here in the Delta quadrant, it's such a dangerous place, too dangerous to bring an innocent child into."
"Chakotay, if every couple waited to have a child, until they thought circumstances were perfect, the human race would have died out long ago. Every parent has to juggle their responsibilities with caring for their child, that's why it takes a mother and a father and grandparents and aunts and uncles and neighbors to help raise a child. And are you so certain the Alpha quadrant would be any safer a place for your child than your ship would be, after all Trebus and Dorvan are in the Alpha quadrant aren't they?" Kolopak asked, raising the specter of the children who died in the Cardassian attacks.
"I don't know. I suppose your right about those things too." Chakotay replied thoughtfully
"Chakotay, some dreams can't wait. Grab what life will give you with both hands and hold on tight," Kolopak said. "Now don't you think you should get ready to go see that 'beautiful woman' of yours?"
Chakotay smiled when his father called Kathryn 'beautiful woman', as that was Kolopak's nickname for Chakotay's mother.
"Yes father, I suppose you're right."
With that Chakotay opened his eyes and found himself back in the living area of his quarters. He gathered his medicine bundle and put it away. After consulting the computer he found he had time for a long shower before he would need to get dressed and go pick up Kathryn for the party.
While Chakotay had been on a vision quest Kathryn had soaked in her tub and pondered much the same things Chakotay had. She was torn, she so wanted a life with him and to have his child, but to be forced to try to do that while still commanding Voyager? It seemed impossible to her and… she was so frightened. What if she let Chakotay into her life completely, because that's what she would do if she were to have his child while still out here in the Delta quadrant, and then something happened to him? How would she survive? She'd already lived through the devastation of losing a lover once, how could she face that again? How could she face it alone, without her mother and sister to help her get through it? Yet how could she not let him into her life when she knew how much he loved her and how much she loved him? How could she let their shared dream die? She turned the problem over and over in her head and finally realized she couldn't solve the problem on her own. She needed to talk to Chakotay and that would have to wait until after the party, which she suddenly realized she'd better start getting ready for if she hoped to be on time.
May 19, 2378 1845 Kathryn's Quarters
Chakotay rang the chime to Kathryn's quarters.
"Come in, Chakotay," Kathryn called from her bedroom. "I'm just finishing getting dressed."
Chakotay decided to be bold and crossed her quarters to stand in the doorway of her bedroom. She looked stunning to him. She had chosen to wear a peasant blouse in pale blue with a short, tight navy skirt. She hadn't put on her high heels yet and was standing there in her stocking feet in front of her mirror as she tried to put on a necklace. She was having trouble with it.
"Here let me help you with that," he said as he took the few steps necessary to be standing behind her. He took the ends of the necklace from her and moved her hair aside. Touching her hair and standing behind her brought back the bittersweet memory of rubbing her neck on New Earth four years earlier. As he looked at the ivory smoothness of her shoulders he longed to take her in his arms and make sweet love to her, but that would have to wait until after they talked, if that talk went well. "There that looks beautiful, just like you."
"Oh Chakotay," she said and turned and placed a hand on his chest as she often did. She looked at Chakotay; he was wearing dark trousers and a white shirt that buttoned down the front. The first few buttons were undone revealing just a bit of his bronze skin. He looked incredibly handsome and there was something in his expression that seemed so open and so vulnerable. She stepped away from him and began putting on her shoes.
"Well we better be going. Our reservation for the holodeck starts at 1900."
"Okay," he replied simply and followed her out of her quarters.
Chakotay allowed himself the liberty of placing his hand in the small of her back to guide her down the corridor. They stepped into the turbolift and he asked for deck six. As they stood in front of the holodeck doors he wondered nervously how Kathryn would take their dinner date suddenly turning into a surprise birthday party, unaware that she was having the same thoughts about him.
May 19, 2378 1900 Holodeck
When they stepped through the holodeck doors people began singing 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow', sounding noisemakers and throwing confetti. On the far wall was a banner that said 'Happy 45th and a Half Birthday Commander Chakotay!' Chakotay was overwhelmed and confused. "But this was suppose to be your birthday party." He finally managed to say to Kathryn.
"Well that's what you were suppose to believe. And everyone did a wonderful job keeping the secret." Kathryn said as she shared a conspiratorial grin with Naomi.
"Come on Chakotay," Tom said as he began maneuvering his 'brother-in-law' away from the entrance to the holodeck and towards the opposite wall of the large room, "we've got tables groaning with your favorite foods and drinks and over here are some presents from the crew."
"OK but the first present I'd like is for you to get my age right on the banner!" Chakotay said jovially.
"What do you mean Chakotay?" Kathryn asked.
"I'm 42 and a half, not 45 and half," he replied good naturedly.
"Now Chakotay, you can't lie about your age, after all your Star Fleet record says you were born November 19, 2332 and I know you graduated the academy in 2355." Kathryn argued.
"Well I did graduate from the academy in 2355 but I was born in 2335 and if you looked carefully at my Star Fleet record you might have noticed that in 2362 I was busted from Commander back to Lieutenant for having lied on my Application to the academy. I can't believe Star Fleet didn't amend my records to reflect my true age while they were at it," Chakotay countered. Everyone in the holodeck was astounded.
"But that would mean you went to the academy when you were what 16?" asked Harry incredulously.
"Actually Harry I was 15 when the first term started." Chakotay replied.
"Wow, you must have been the youngest human to ever attend the academy." Harry said.
"I suppose I might have been at that," Chakotay said in a voice that said he might not have thought of that before now.
"OK if we change the banner, will you come over here and eat something and then open your presents?" Tom cajoled and Chakotay grinned and nodded.
After Chakotay had loaded up a plate of his favorite foods and downed about half of it while chatting with B'Elanna, Kathryn and Harry over the background of 20th century music, Tom came over and said it was time to open his presents. Chakotay knew better than to argue with Tom, so he just went along with him to a small table.
"Hey Chakotay open this first," said Ken Dalby as he put a box in Chakotay's hands. "Its from the gang in engineering. B'Elanna did the reconnaissance for us."
Chakotay removed the wrapping as he shot his 'little sister' a look and then his hands closed on a handsome wooden case. When he opened it he found a selection of wood carving tools that would perfectly complement the ones he already owned and the box had spaces for his existing tools. He'd been saving up replicator rations for years and occasionally replicated a new tool. He knew that at the rate he'd been able to add to his set it would be years before he acquired a complete set. The 'gang in engineering' had just given him a wonderful present.
"Thanks, wow these are incredible." Chakotay said.
"Open this next," Mike Ayala said with a big grin as he placed a large heavy box in front of Chakotay. "Its from the crew in security," he added.
Chakotay opened the box to reveal a selection of wood, mostly pieces of driftwood. As he took each piece out of the box his hands moved over the surfaces and his mind began conjuring up the different projects he could make from each piece. He looked up to ask Mike about the pieces of wood, but before he could ask Ayala began explaining.
"We discovered a lot of folks had picked up likely looking bits of wood on away missions and shore leaves with the intention of asking you to make something, but none of us had had the courage to ask you to put yourself out for us in that way. So these pieces of wood have been just sitting around, but now we're hoping you'll put them to good use."
"Thank you I'll certainly try," Chakotay said a bit choked up.
Next Megan Delaney handed him a round box and said, "This is from the people in Sciences".
As Chakotay took the box from Megan, it rattled and he began to shake the box but Megan stopped him. "Don't do that, some of them might break."
With that comment Chakotay quickly but carefully opened the box to find a variety of shells and semi-precious stones perfect for turning into heishi.
"These are beautiful!" Chakotay exclaimed, "but surely these must be things you've all collected for your own use."
"Most of us don't have the kind of talent you do for making beautiful things with our hands, we would much rather see you put them to use than for them to just sit somewhere in a drawer." Megan responded.
"I'm honored by your faith in my abilities." Chakotay said, then he grinned wondering what his mother would think if she knew her son was about to follow in her footsteps as a maker of heishi jewelry. Hopefully he wouldn't get the excruciating neck aches she did when working to make the beads.
Harry stepped forward and placed an envelope in Chakotay's hand.
"Here commander this is from the senior staff and everyone in operations," he said proudly.
Chakotay opened the envelope and extracted a piece of stiff paper, which simply stated '50 replicator rations'.
"We know you have a tendency to be overly generous with your replicator rations, so we thought we'd even things out a bit."
Harry then turned towards the captain and continued, "And ma'am, Commander Tuvok said," Harry paused then continued in his best imitation of Tuvok, "it would be unfair of Captain Janeway to coerce the commander into giving her a portion of these rations as she usually does with his normal allotment."
Everyone laughed.
"I don't coerce Chakotay into giving me his rations, he just does it all on his own," Kathryn complained.
"I do it for the good of the crew. Kathryn Janeway without her coffee is a CO to rival captains Bly or Ahab," he said with a teasing grin on his face.
At last B'Elanna elbowed her way through the crowd to her 'brother's' side.
"Boy you think this crew would give a pregnant Klingon some room," B'Elanna said with a grin.
Gales of laughter permeated the room following the petite but very pregnant engineer's comment.
"Here Chakotay," B'Elanna said as she handed him an envelope with his name on it, "this is from the entire crew."
Chakotay opened the envelope and took out what looked like an old fashioned gift certificate. As he read the words on the certificate his eyes began to mist up and a lump formed in his throat.
"Go on read it out loud," B'Elanna urged him.
"I don't know if I can" Chakotay responded in a soft, emotion-choked voice.
"I'll do it for you," Kathryn said as she took the certificate from his hands.
"This certificate entitles Commander Chakotay to the use of the entire communication window tomorrow May 20th 2378." The captain read.
"Doesn't seem fair I get such a wonderful present on your birthday," Chakotay said.
"The best birthday present for me would be if my best friend was happy." Kathryn said.
Chakotay suddenly found himself shaking hands and receiving bear hugs from the male crewmembers and being hugged and kissed by the female ones. Finally, Tom rescued him a bit, from the sea of humanity that was washing over him, by announcing that it was time for some dancing and that he was going to start playing the song dedications.
As Tom was concerned that B'Elanna might be overdoing things he decided to play the song she wanted to dedicate to Chakotay first. She had requested the song Come In From The Rain by Melissa Manchester and Carole Bayer Sager. He told Chakotay to dance very gently with B'Elanna as the song played and then make sure B'Elanna found a comfortable seat. Chakotay found certain phrases from the song seemed to fit him and to fit his relationship with B'Elanna very well. He felt sure the phrases like 'a man like you will always take the long way home' and 'cause I think of us like an old cliché' would probably be stuck in his head for days.
Next, Tom announced the Bill Wither's tune 'Lean On Me' had been dedicated to Chakotay by Mike Ayala. Once again Chakotay found certain phrases in the song had great meaning for him like 'Please swallow your pride, if I have things you need to borrow. For no one can fill those of your needs that you won't let show.' He knew he'd been guilty of hiding his needs and not letting his friend's help him, but until he'd heard that song, it hadn't dawned on him that it was his pride getting in the way.
Next, was a song written by Carole King and recorded by James Taylor- You've Got A Friend, this one came from Harry Kim. Then the Wildmans dedicated Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water to him. At this point in the evening The Doctor made his way up to Tom and began an animated discussion with him. Finally, it seemed The Doctor had convinced Tom to let him have a shot at the mike.
"When I learned of Mr. Paris' idea to dedicate songs to the Commander I of course wanted to participate, but I thought it might be nice to actually sing a song for Chakotay." The Doctor began a short speech as only The Doctor could and at first his crewmates thought they would be bored by another one of the doctor's long-winded recitals but instead he described a most enchanting bit of entertainment.
"And so I perused the data base for 20th century music. I found this song from the musical 'Man of La Mancha' (Music by Mitch Leigh Lyrics by Joe Darion) The musical is based on the Spanish classic Don Quixote. The playwright Dale Wasserman uses an imaginative method to tell the ancient story of the madman Don Quixote. The play begins with the imprisonment of novelist Miguel de Cervantes y Saavedra during the Spanish Inquisition. Thrown into a dark prison to await trial, Cervantes and his faithful servant soon find themselves set upon by the other inmates, a bloodthirsty horde of thieves and murderers who organize an underworld trial in which the new inmates must defend themselves before "The Governor," the self-anointed kingpin of the prison.
Being a novelist, Cervantes convinces The Governor that his defense should take the form of an entertainment. He will present the story of a country squire named Alonso Quijana who, overwhelmed by the evil that men do toward men, put aside his sanity and set out into the world as a knight errant, dubbing himself Don Quixote of La Mancha, champion of the oppressed and righter of wrongs. The Governor agrees, and Cervantes begins to spin his tale, telling how Quijana left behind his family, and set out along a great highway to glory, a road that looked, to his servant Sancho Panza, remarkably like the road to El Toboso where the chickens are cheap. After a misguided attempt to do battle with a windmill, the two men eventually stumble upon a great castle-or a small inn, depending upon which of them you ask. A band of rough drinkers and several women of easy virtue, one of whom Don Quixote hails as "a sweet lady and a fair virgin", populate the inn. Quixote proceeds to worship the sweet lady, his "Dulcinea." Aldonza, the whore Don Quixote has chosen, doesn't know quite what to make of this, and when Don Quixote sends Sancho to ask for a token to carry into battle, she assumes that he wants what every man wants and angrily tosses him a dish rag. Aldonza is intrigued, however, by Don Quixote's strange words and his gentle manner, and when the old man successfully defends her against a whole band of manhandling hooligans, she is finally won over to his quest which he describes to her in song as 'The Impossible Dream.'" By this point in his narrative, everyone in the holodeck was gathered around to hear the doctor's summary of the play.
"Meanwhile, however, Quijana's family has convinced the self-important Dr. Carrasco to retrieve their mad patriarch. Carrasco is not so much interested in Quijana's well being as he is in the old man's fortune, which Carrasco stands to inherit as he is engaged to Quijana's niece. When The doctor arrives at the inn, Quijana mistakes him for the Great Enchanter, the most dangerous enemy of all good men. Don Quixote prepares to do battle once more, but this time, he has no defense against his enemy's weapon--a bright, mirrored shield in which the old man can see nothing but his old, foolish reflection. Thus defeated, Quijana returns home and agrees to draw up his will in his niece's favor--that is, until he receives an unexpected guest from the inn who begs him not to renounce 'The Impossible Dream.'
The Governor is impressed with Cervantes defense, as are the other prisoners, and the novelist's crimes are forgiven. But now the guards have returned, Cervantes has managed to defend himself in front of one court only to be dragged in front of another. It has not been wasted time, however, for as he climbs the steps out of his dark prison, he can hear the prisoners below still singing 'The Impossible Dream.'" At this point The Doctor morphed his holomatrix into an appropriate costume for the duel role of Cervantes/Quixote and broke into song:
To dream the impossible dream,
to fight the unbeatable foe,
to bear with unbearable sorrow,
to run where the brave dare not go...
To right the unrightable wrong,
to love pure and chaste from afar,
to try when your arms are too weary
to reach the unreachable star!
This is my quest --
to follow that star
no matter how hopeless,
no matter how far --
To fight for the right
without question or pause,
to be willing to march into hell
for a heavenly cause!
And I know
if I'll only be true
to this glorious quest
that my heart
will be peaceful and calm
when I'm laid to my rest.
And the world will be better for this
that one man, scorned and covered with scars,
still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable stars!
The holodeck broke into applause, which of course pleased The Doctor, no end. As Tom put another song on, Chakotay pondered the song The Doctor had just sung. Was The Doctor trying to tell him his dreams were impossible? Just then the EMH appeared at his elbow and as though he had heard his thoughts, he leaned close to Chakotay and said in a voice barely above a whisper, "Don't get the wrong idea Commander I definitely do not think your fondest dream is an impossible one. I merely thought the imagery of this song, of a heroic man battling against great odds for the betterment of others, fit you well." With that the hologram shook his hand and drifted off among the crowd to bask in his crewmates admiration of his abilities as a singer.
Just as Chakotay thought he'd lose it from listening to all the sentimental songs aimed at him, the Delaney sisters saved the day by dedicating Nobody Does It Better performed by Carly Simon (music by Marvin Hamlisch lyrics by Carole Bayer Sager). The sexy theme song to a James Bond movie lifted the mood a bit though it did look as though Kathryn had storm clouds on her brow when Jenny asked Chakotay to dance. Seeing that, Tom decided to put the Captain's first dedication to Chakotay on next.
"This next song is dedicated to the Commander from the Captain. Its called Wind Beneath My Wings and its sung by Bette Midler" Tom was relishing his job as the disk jockey at this party.
As Chakotay listened to the words he searched for Kathryn in the crowd and looked at her face. Did she really mean what the song said? Did she really feel his support and really think of him as a hero? He started to make his way towards her. When Tom noticed Chakotay's goal he decided the next song he would play would be the one Chakotay wanted to dedicate to the Captain, also a song by Bette Midler "The Rose". Chakotay reached Kathryn's side just as the song began and he asked her to dance.
The command team made a very beautiful couple as Chakotay led her gracefully around the dance floor. They each found themselves lost in the words of the love song and the feel of being in each other's arms. Tom felt he needed to keep the music flowing to let his friends continue holding each other, so he put on the second song the captain requested. "This is from Kathryn to Chakotay 'Can You Read My Mind'." (Theme from the Movie Superman Music by John Williams, Words by Leslie Bricusse sung by Maureen McGovern).
As Chakotay continued to dance with Kathryn he listened closely to the words of the song. 'Did she mean them? Did she believe they could belong to each other? Did she know how much he needed to be loved by her?' He had to know.
"Kathryn, lets leave. Let's go have that discussion we need to have. Let's do it now." He said softly but urgently.
"But Chakotay the party is for you," Kathryn said.
"I know but I need to talk with you now," Chakotay insisted.
"All right but you should say something to the crew," she acquiesced.
He nodded and moved toward Tom's DJ area never relinquishing his hold on Kathryn's hand.
"Tom, I'd like to say something to the crew," Chakotay informed Tom.
"Oh and Tom have you got a song - I think its called Hero, the artist's name was Mariah Carey?"
"Uhm, yeah I've got it," Tom replied after looking through his database.
"Good," Chakotay said. "Now, how do I do this?" he asked as he gestured around the hall.
"Just talk into this mike, they'll hear you," Tom replied.
"I wanted to thank everyone again for your generosity and affection. I'm going to say good night to all of you now but before I leave I wanted to have Tom play a dedication from me to you. Please stay and enjoy yourselves," Chakotay said, and then turned to make his way through the crowd of his crewmates-his friends and family as the song he requested told the crew that they were the heroes. Each person he passed reached out to shake his hand or hug him or kiss his cheek. Through the whole loving gauntlet he never let go of Kathryn's hand.