Maelstrom Chapter 23
Proposal PART C
Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original Maelstrom Comics and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.
This scene contains strong language and Dubious Humor. IT CONTAINS SOME MAJOR DEVELOPMENTS BETWEEN CHARACTERS BUT IS GENERALLY A FLUFF SCENE.
Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored!
Proposal: PART C
"Rodimus...what were the first months you spent as a human like for you?"
"Wh..why do you want to know?"
"Why are you being evasive?"
They glared at each other.
"They were a mess," Rodimus finally said, by way of getting this night from hell over with, "Eat your dinner." Magnus didn't need much encouragement in that regard, but he kept on with his questions, although he decided Rodimus might be more likely to answer about specific things than just give an all-encompassing summary.
"What was your first meal?" he pressed, not minding Rodi's sour expression as long as answers were forthcoming.
"Lancer's lizard flambe`," Rodimus said.
"Explain," Magnus said.
"You are not experienced enough to talk with your mouth full Major General," Rodimus said grimly. "And it means Lancer hunted and killed small reptiles and cooked them with her powers. They were tough, bony, and unpleasant. Even she thought they tasted bad, although not as bad as I did."
"Why? What was so terrible? Didn't you at least find the texture interesting? I think I like chewing."
"Well..." Rodimus said. Then he stopped.
"Well what?"
Rodimus sighed, and shook his head. "I didn't like the texture, no. They were very hard to chew, and to be honest it hurt, especially at first. My lips and tongue were swollen from where I'd bitten them. My throat hurt because it was cold and dry and we were always breathing sand and I had some...injuries to my face and jaw which made even talking painful. Mostly though..." Rodimus said, and then trailed off again as if just now realizing what he'd been confessing. At the back of his mind he heard (with some surprise) Lancer cursing, and suddenly realized she'd been subtly egging him on.
"Why?" he asked her mentally.
"You need it...and HE needs to understand you. It will help him, and it will be good for you to talk about it."
"You know already." Rodimus argued.
"I don't count Rodi. I was there." Lancer rejoined.
"Mostly what?" Magnus said impatiently, wishing Rodimus would just take the hint and spill it without needing all this annoying subtle encouragement.
Rodimus dropped his eyes a little and seemed not to see Magnus anymore. "Mostly, I felt I should have died and that it was wrong for Lancer to kill things to keep me alive." He visibly roped himself in and put on that silly grin. "It also didn't help that she, pulled the guts out of one of our meals right in front of me so she could cook it. There are some things you just don't need to know about what you put in your mouth."
Magnus ignored Rodi's attempt to distract him, and felt a kind of fury rise inside him. He was both angry and guilt-ridden over this admission on the part of his young friend. He realized that most of this feeling of worthlessness stemmed from what the Jabez had done to Rodimus, and the fact Rodi felt responsible for Goldbug's torture, but Magnus also knew the seeds of that feeling were planted much earlier. The idea that he was somehow destined to fail had been a part of Rodi's mind-set ever since his first term as leader, and Magnus was too honest to deny that he had a part in putting it there. It hadn't been intentional of course, but Magnus knew that what he had seen as reasonable criticism had begun to lead Rodimus to believe nothing he did was worthwhile.
That combined with Kup's constant "coaching" and (understandable) concern about Rodi's extreme youth on the part of the Autobots had mixed with Rodimus' own uncertainties and fears into an emotional poison Rodimus had nearly let kill him. There was also Rodi's own mistaken conviction that as the leader he wasn't allowed to show weakness or pain. If Magnus (or any of them) had the slightest inkling as to what was going on in the young Prime's mind it would have been swiftly ended. Unfortunately even in those days Rodimus had been quite deft at masks and dissembling. No one even suspected the boy had been depressed until he let Galvatron rip his circuits out with a smile.
Magnus knew he had a hand in creating this insidious death-wish.
He also knew that it was high time Rodi got over it, and the statement that Rodimus had even once thought his life worth less than that of a lizard made Magnus want to shake the circuits out of him no matter how extreme the circumstances.
Ultra Magnus, City Commander, had a brief and satisfying vision of reaching out, rattling Rodi's bones, and ranting for hours about the ludicrousness of that entire attitude, complete with the young moron being cured of all such doubts for all time. Unfortunately Magnus knew that A.) he would be lucky to even get his hands near Lancer's student, and B.) Rodimus was far more likely to clam up than listen.
Somehow, Magnus managed not to rant, and from somewhere, a more reasonable approach came to him that he thought might have had a chance of getting through.
"Rodimus, all I can say is I'm glad Lancer didn't give in to you. You have no idea of how long we looked for you, or how the Autobots mourned for you. Optimus especially went down and never came back up. It was almost like we'd lost both of you. He holed up in that office and went about the motions of doing his duty, but he was getting so distant I was seriously considering confronting him about finding a replacement. "
"You aren't serious!" Rodimus said, rather stunned.
"Entirely. Really, I was just hoping to snap him out of it, but he wasn't doing a good job. He needed a wake up call. I was on my way to do it, and instead I end up in a meeting with all the officers and this human couple - one of whom claims he is the one and only Rodimus Prime. I wasn't entirely convinced it was you, but the one thing I could see was that Optimus did, and suddenly he was back in command - thinking and responding actively to the situation at hand rather than just going through the motions. I was both relieved and worried, because I didn't know how he would react if you turned out to be a fraud."
Rodimus shook his head and frowned thoughtfully. "I had no idea he reacted that way. However, I can tell you it may not have been entirely his fault Magnus. He knew I was alive - at least up until the point they turned me human, because the Matrix transmitted some of what I was going through to him."
"WHAT?! HOW?! You can't mean to tell me you are linked with OPTIMUS too!"
"Not with an open channel. We aren't linked directly the way Lancer and I are, thankfully. I'm not sure I could take having Op in my head. However, we are both linked to the Matrix, and copies of ourselves reside inside it - the aspects the crystal duplicates and stores. Normally, it takes actual contact with the Matrix to have it record memories, but apparently what happened with the Jabez was intense enough to breach the distance. The "me" within took it as a warning and passed what it could along to Optimus."
"The 'Me' within? Rodimus, what the hell are you talking about?"
"The part of me that's within the Matrix. Ever since its been emptied, Optimus and I have been more aware of our own echoes because they are the only ones there now. During my first term, I wasn't much aware of it, because it was the others who gave me advice and ideas I knew weren't my own. Now though...now its painfully obvious. The "me" within never got tortured, and never became an assassin. To be quite honest, the few times I've had contact with the Matrix since I've been back have been more like having meetings with a younger version of myself....and he's rather appalled with what I have become. Optimus and I agreed to take measures to leave him there, which is partly why I've had minimal contact with the Matrix since coming home. We're trying to find a way to keep my current self from overwriting that set of emotional and rational responses."
"Why? Aren't you worth anything now?" Magnus said challengingly.
"Magnus...I don't think I was meant to be psychotic...and I take comfort in the idea that there is some part of me preserved undamaged. We are trying to find a way to sort of make separate files in a sense....to sort of make the Matrix think I'm a different person now and to record my memories separately. It seems to be working, although it's a bit early to tell. Optimus says there is a faint impression of a third consciousness forming, but I haven't had enough contact with it to really make a strong shade....and I've told him to have as little contact with it as possible."
"Rodimus...."
"Magnus, what good does it do to have Optimus relive what I went through first hand? Aren't I enough lunacy for this army?"
"More than enough," Magnus admitted wryly, and then plowed ahead with his questions before Rodimus had a chance to get reticent. "If the lizards were so bad, why did you eat them? Wasn't there anything better around?" Magnus asked - trying to remember the details of things he'd seen in Vector Sigma's holo-chambers. It didn't help much - most of what he'd seen had been distorted by Rodimus' powerful resistance to the mental probe. It had been jumbled and out of sequence, he knew, with only a few scattered moments coming out clearly, and even then only the significant aspects had been clear.
Rodimus shook his head. "Not at first anyway. We landed in the middle of a wasteland. The nearest equivalent on Earth would be the Gobi desert I suppose. It was barren, frozen, and prone to high winds and dust storms. Food was hard for Lancer to find, and water was even harder. By the time the climate got better and food was easier to come by, the damage had been done I suppose, although I can't say I'm pleased to find my food aversion is yet another result of trauma rather than a natural Autobot reaction to food. Now I get to hear more of Lancer's 'It's all in your head' line. She's already suggesting I help you finish the cottage cheese, and I want to once again thank you for bringing this turmoil into my life."
"You're welcome," Magnus smirked. He liked it when Lancer bullied Rodimus since it was something the rest of them rarely got away with anymore. Then he sobered and returned to Rodimus' actual point before he'd tried getting off topic again. "And here I was complaining that it was cold in the lab," Magnus said.
Rodimus shrugged, "Lancer got me through. It wasn't easy but she did."
Magnus looked down at his meal and took another experimental bite. He analyzed his enjoyment of each aspect and felt an unaccustomed gratitude to Rodimus for working so hard to make this an orderly and pleasant experience.
"Knowing you it's a miracle she pulled it off," Magnus said with exasperated affection.
"She wouldn't let me die. It's as simple as that."
"Explain."
Rodimus snorted. "You know she force-fed me. She also screamed at me, fought me, dragged me, and even zapped me. Those first weeks when I was too apathetic to even feel hunger, she kept me going by deliberately enraging me so that my body wouldn't just shut down. She did a good job too. At the start I really hated her."
"You? Hated her?" Magnus asked.
"Yeah. I thought she was a real bitch for interfering and not letting me die the way I wanted to."
"You're insufferable! It's just good it was her instead of me because I would have left you sitting on the sand! When did this attitude of yours turn around? When did you realize you loved her? WHY did you start loving her if she was so hard on you?"
Rodimus blinked at him a few times, and then grinned. "Ya know...I'm not sure I can answer those questions. I can tell you when I realized she was really doing everything she could to help me. I can tell you when I started noticing things I admired about her, but when did I fall in love? I don't know. By the time I recognized it for what it was it had been there for a while."
"Yeah, I know the feeling," Magnus said, mostly to himself with a sort of half-smile on his face. It wasn't until he focused back on Rodimus and caught his leader smirking that he realized he'd said that out loud and the consequences for doing so. He waited for the taunting to begin. Amazingly though, Rodimus didn't start harassing him, even though the smirk didn't leave.
"You really got it at last don't you Ultra Magnus? This isn't some weird joy-ride for you. She's really gotten through that thick hide!"
Magnus glared, "'Got it at last'? You make it sound like a disease! And of course I care for her! Why else would I go through all this?"
"Hey! Don't get all defensive. I just think it's cool. So! When did YOU realize you were in love?"
"Hmmph. That's easy. Right after she asked me to go human. I think my butt hit the floor and the realization hit my CPU about the same instant," Magnus said with another odd little smile. "Like you said, I also realized it had been there for a while though."
"How did she ask you?" Rodimus said, obviously all ears. Magnus wondered briefly how much of this curiosity was Rodimus', and how much was Rodimus' mate's.
Magnus grinned a little at the memory which led Rodi to marvel the number of smiles he was seeing on Magnus' face just over the course of this conversation. They probably added up to more than he had seen on Magnus since he was activated.
"She was really nervous when she came in," Magnus reminisced. "I was glad to see her though. I was really worried she was mad at me again because she'd been avoiding me so much. I started worrying again because she didn't get straight to the point like she always does...she sort of danced around the subject for a while. I thought she was trying to find a way to tell me we weren't friends anymore or something equally dire. When all of her excuses ran out though, she finally just said I was too tall to kiss as an Autobot. That's when I hit the floor. The funny part is that even beyond the shock that she loves me, and that I apparently love her, was that I was incredibly relieved she wasn't ANGRY with me!"
Rodimus, remembering with exquisite clarity the time Magnus had practically curled up in his chair at Marissa's glance the one time she HAD been angry with him, grinned hugely. "You're right, Major General. That IS the funny part! And to think I never imagined this could happen in my lifetime! The mighty Ultra Magnus - wrapped in a neat little bow around one tiny little human finger!"
"Rodimus? What in the hell are you talking about? I can't fit around Marissa's finger!"
Rodi's head hit the table.
Magnus glared and shook his head.
Without looking up, Rodimus asked, "Magnus...how long have you been stationed on Earth?"
"You know full well it's been over three decades. Slightly longer than you've been alive Rodimus."
"Ah...yes. Just checking."
"Would you care to explain this particular bit of sarcasm?" Magnus snarled.
"It means you like her! It means you can't stand it when she's upset and that you'll do anything to please her! You even went human for her and screwed up my week! Magnus how can you have served on Earth for most of my lifetime without knowing what that means?!"
"I was busy," Magnus said, feeling a bit defensive all of a sudden.
"No one is that busy Magnus unless they want to be. You have always had the same right to personal time as the rest of us you just didn't take it. Two decades on Earth and you don't know what a couch is for. Unbelievable!"
"I had better things to do than learn every little human euphemism," Magnus stated haughtily, "I was already a full commander when I was transferred to Earth, unlike someone I know who had time to play. Socializing with the natives wasn't a priority - securing Metroplex against the Cons was."
"Socializing with the natives should have been a priority! Can you seriously mean to tell me that understanding and communicating with the culture you were assigned to protect wasn't part of your strategy?!" Rodimus cried in not totally feigned horror. "Besides...don't make it sound like you just ignored the humans. You don't socialize with anybody! You don't socialize period! And now I'm supposed to help you blend into a culture you've ignored for decades!"
Magnus stared at Rodimus, then at the table. The truth was, he was deeply rattled and was plunged into a whirlwind self-examination. The remark about understanding human culture was the catalyst. A flaw in his strategy? Absolutely. An enormous, glaring flaw to be precise. How had he ever missed something so elementary? How had they survived? Mis-communication with the humans could easily have been the chink in his plans which could have brought the Autobots to their knees. So how had they survived? Luck. The fact that the Cons and Quints understood humans even less than he did....and the fact that he blindly delegated dealing with humans to subordinates who did take the time to understand them. He wondered how many of his terse communications had been edited without his knowledge to be more understandable and personable to the humans they were intended for. Most of them probably. Damn. Where did this incredible stupidity come from?
Ah yes. Where it always came from. The Great Stupidity. The Disaster. And Rodimus was right... It wasn't just humans he was hiding from. It was everybody. In his frantic efforts to make up for what happened he had buried himself - literally buried himself like a corpse - away from anyone or anything that might led to any real fun or friendship until he'd forgotten that even an army was made of individuals interacting.
"Elita's right...." he mused aloud, "I'm overcompensating. It's a miracle I didn't cause another disaster bigger than the first."
"Overcompensating?" Rodimus asked.
Magnus jumped. He hadn't meant to say anything. Rodimus was looking at him curiously. Damn! Now what was he going to say? Lying wasn't his forte', and he felt more than sure that even if it was he had no chance of fooling the Master of Deceit. Best to give the truth....with as few details as possible.
Nice plan.
"Well," Magnus coughed, "When I was a young, idiotic Autobot...."
"Oh, you mean like Hot Rod...." Rodimus said with a smile. He meant it entirely as a joke - not liking the gloomy expression on Magnus' face one bit. Magnus was often openly irritated, angry, frustrated, etc., etc., but he rarely looked shaken...or sad. The joke certainly didn't have the intended effect though since Rodimus was expecting Magnus to go off on such a ridiculous, insulting statement.
Instead Magnus jerked again - as if prodded by something hot and sharp. He stared at Rodi for a few heartbeats and then stammered, "Y...yes. Like...Hot Rod." After that, Magnus didn't meet Rodi's eyes even once while he confessed what happened faster and faster. This was no terse, military report. Rather it was the frightened confession of a guilt-ridden child - leaving Rodimus with the sudden eerie impression that HE was now the elder. Chameleon-like, he automatically assumed that role. Magnus needed it.
Details flooded out of the City Commander completely against his will....that he had cried malfunction to relax for a bit, leaving the rest of the small unit he was assigned to to patrol without him for a few hours. He'd gone in later to catch up, but only arrived in time to witness the tail end of a massacre. The Cons were leaving the scene but he'd been too horrified to even fire after them. That he had turned to run away from the damning stares of the corpses and had spent long moments shuddering in an alley before finally finding the resolve to return to base and report what happened.
His own confusion multiplied when a young Optimus, not yet a legend but already greatly respected, had absolved Magnus of guilt. The forgiveness was in some ways more of a punishment than any court-martial could assign since Magnus simply did not understand it. Optimus' compassion produced in him a burning desire to never let his leader down again, to work and work as reparation - although in his heart the debt would never be paid. Absolution for his sin was like a star on the horizon of an infinite road - no amount of running would bring him to it. Still, he shunned all detours, all diversions.
By the time he finished, Magnus' body was shivering with adrenaline and tears were welling up in his eyes. He was barely aware of these things though and he clutched at the edge of the table. Still unable to look up he concluded with a barely audible apology - whispered repeatedly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry....."
Rodimus didn't say anything, but reached out and gripped Magnus' hand firmly. Still unused to human contact Magnus was brought sharply back to the present. He met Rodi's eyes and was overawed to see nearly exactly the same expression of compassion Optimus had worn so many centuries ago but now Magnus not only knew Rodimus understood - he knew WHY Rodimus understood. Rodimus - with so much blood on his hands. Rodimus - who held onto Goldbug's shattered visage and whose guilt was the foundation of every action he took against their enemies. Was it possible Optimus held similar secrets? Was it possible that his original pardon had not been out of pity, but real understanding? And what of Rodi - sitting there so calmly? Wasn't he shocked? Didn't he realize as Magnus now did that most of Magnus' early criticisms of Rodi's first, uncertain term as leader had stemmed from Magnus' own guilt? That Magnus had condemned Hot Roddish behavior because it reminded him of his own mistakes? Worst of all, Magnus now asked (NEEDED!) Rodimus to help him make up for millions of years of neglect of his own heart.
Magnus blinked and felt something slide down his cheeks. It tickled a bit and he flinched again then brushed at his face a bit frantically.
"Wha....?" he cried, staring at the moisture on his fingers.
"You're crying a little, that's all. It's OK. It's normal."
"None of this is normal," Magnus said sullenly. "I just had a complete emotional break-down. That's not normal."
"Sure it is," Rodimus said with assurance. "Holding something like that in for millennia after millennia is what's not normal Magnus. Am I the first person you've told this too?"
"Aside from Optimus and Elita the day it happened. You are annoyingly unsurprised by the way."
"I saw it in the tunnels remember? Besides, you don't go through several millions of years of warfare without picking up some emotional baggage...and some serious mistakes Magnus."
"I can not believe I just told you all of this," Magnus muttered.
"Well, I can't believe you head hasn't exploded keeping it in all this time. Not healthy Mags. Not a good policy."
"Don't tell me to just get over it!" Magnus snapped.
"Who me? That would be hypocritical now wouldn't it? What makes you think I'd say something like that? Even I'M not that stupid!"
"You aren't stupid....I just heard it a lot when I was younger."
"From who?"
"Well...oh never mind."
"Oh, now you HAVE to tell," Rodimus said with a smile.
Magnus sighed. "Neon for one," he muttered, knowing what was coming.
"Well THAT figures!" Rodimus snorted, "Geez Mags! Consider the source!"
"Like you had to tell me that!" Magnus snapped.
"Obviously I did if you're still being defensive about it," Rodimus said, still smiling.
"Oh give it a rest! She seemed a lot more sensible when I was younger! She wasn't. She just seemed it!"
Rodimus laughed until he was sure he had restored his City Commander to his usual competent irritability and then sobered enough to make his point. "She's an airhead so you'll have to rely on MY ageless wisdom instead."
"Joy," Magnus interjected.
"Don't interrupt when I'm lecturing Major General. Now where was I? Oh yes. You aren't going to get over this. Period. However, you can learn to LIVE with it - and I do mean that in the fullest sense of the word. You can't suppress this crap. It's like poison, and if you are serious about this whole human thing it is imperative you learn to interact with people!"
"I get along with Marissa just fine...." Magnus started.
"No. She gets along with YOU just fine, which only goes to show how astounding she is. However, I doubt very much she is going to put up with you making an ass of yourself in public so you'd better start listening to me and paying attention to the people around you! Marissa won't be as nice about your unparalled ignorance as I will!"
"Well...err....." Magnus said nervously. He had a sinking impression that Rodimus was right on all counts and it unnerved him greatly.
"You know I'm right! Oh! And for Cybertron's sake TELL this shit to Marissa the very first chance you get. It never hurts to have the woman you love know your weaknesses. I for one am only too glad Lancer is around to watch my back and keep me honest."
"Errr.....I don't think I ca...."
"Shut up. Of course you can. You have to. Keeping secrets from your mate is like poison too sometimes," Rodimus said. Then his voice lost a bit of its cheerful confidence. "Besides... confessions are like... like screams. They help you release the pain."
Magnus knew that nothing he said or did could help Rodimus with THAT hurdle if a mind-mate and fatherhood could not ease it, so he opted for hating the Jabez and glaring at Rodi. "You can't scream....you want to, but you can't."
"Yeah well," Rodimus chirped, "That's true enough so imagine how it irks me to see you squandering your privileges. I want to, but I can't. You can, but you don't. Too much irony for my tastes so I suggest you rectify your behavior. Here!" he said, handing something new and strange to Magnus before he could respond. "This is a tissue. Handy devise. Wipe your eyes with it and then blow you nose...in THAT order."
"Blow my nose?" Magnus asked worriedly. To him it sounded like explosives were involved.
"Right. AFTER you wipe your eyes hold it firmly over your nostrils, take a deep breath through your mouth, and then exhale forcefully through your nose. It should help clear the congestion and it will DEFINITELY make you less disgusting to look at."
Magnus glared at his leader, aware he was being diverted, but also aware of something wet staining his upper lip. It took him a few moments to work out the procedure and get the air going through the right vents in the right order. That achieved he still felt a bit slimy...not to mention disgusted by the contents of the "tissue." Rodimus immediately handed him another, and then another until Magnus' nose was clear and free of residue.
Without missing a beat Rodimus then placed a roughly squarish substance on his plate.
"What's this?" Magnus asked.
"It's called bread dummy," Rodimus said, looking strangely smug. "You eat it. Congrats. You've graduated to solid food."
"Why isn't it square?" Magnus asked. His sense of geometry was being disturbed by the almost-but-not-quite shape of the slice.
"It just isn't," Rodimus said.
"Why? Wouldn't it fit in storage better if it was perfectly square?"
"Probably, but that isn't how it is. It gets that way when it bakes. Eat it."
"Couldn't they find away to improve on its shape? Is this a new invention they haven't perfected yet?"
"NO! Its bread! They don't care if it isn't square! They care if it isn't fresh and if you just sit there staring at it for much longer it isn't going to be fresh! EAT IT!"
"I can see you aren't going to be rational about this. Do you mind telling me HOW I should eat it or are you going to get defensive over all my questions?" Magnus said reproachfully.
"No! Only the hopelessly anal ones!" Rodimus snapped.
"I see. And what does that statement mean exactly? I've always wanted to know."
Rodimus stared at him for a few seconds and began laughing hopelessly. "Eat your bread. You'll find out eventually." He refused to elaborate further - just chuckled annoyingly whenever Magnus asked.
"You have yet to tell me how," Magnus prompted grimly.
"Pick up the slice, open your mouth, and use your teeth to remove a small section. Chew that section and then swallow it. Repeat as necessary until the slice is gone, you are no longer hungry, or I choke you for being a thorn in my side!"
Magnus hated it when Rodimus talked like a used car sales-man. (Not even he could avoid knowing what they sounded like with Wreck-Gar around.) He didn't have too much trouble with the bread except for being over-cautious with his first bite (Rodimus asked him if he had inadvertantly gotten mouse DNA mixed in with him during the humanization process) and a slight difficulty swallowing after the fourth or fifth bite. Complaining of that produced a melted-silicate container full of transparent liquid.
"This is water," Magnus observed.
"By the Matrix! He KNOWS something!" Rodimus crowed.
"What do you want me to do with this?"
"I take it back," Rodi said dejectedly.
Magnus glared.
"Drink it you dope! What did you think you were supposed to do with it?"
"Water is a cleansing agent," Magnus noted.
"Save the bathing for later! THIS is drinking water. Drink it!"
"Water is a stable molecule. There is no way to alter it for a specific function," Magnus persisted.
"If you don't quit contradicting everything I say I'm going to draw you a bath and drown you in it just to prove how versatile water can be. Drink the whole glass now."
"How?"
"Figure it out yourself Mr.-Know-It-All," Rodimus said, clearly miffed.
Magnus looked at his commander expectantly and waited stubbornly for further instructions but Rodimus crossed his arms and turned his back on Magnus. The City Commander decided he was not to be deterred by childish stubbornness. After all, water was pretty similar to energon in its liquid state and certainly it couldn't pose more of a problem than the solids and chewing.
He lifted the glass to his lips, opened his mouth, and tipped backwards.
The next thing he knew there was liquid everywhere - in his mouth, over his face,
down his shirt, and most of all up his nose. The uncontrolable choking and coughing were accompanied by an incredible burning which was unlike any sensation he'd ever felt. He fought to breath and reached convulsively for his stinging nose.....
CRASH!
The sound of splintering did nothing to calm him and he was on the verge of a real panic. He was coughing so hard his eyes were tearing and he couldn't open them sufficiently to even see.
Rodi's voice, exasperated but not worried, cut through Magnus' frenzy.
"Mags, sit still. You dropped the glass and I don't want you to get cut."
"CUT?! What difference does that make when I'm drowning?"
"You aren't drowning. You just snorted some water and made a major mess Major General."
"Humans die when they breath water!"
"No. Humans die when they can't get any air at all but even that takes more than a few seconds. Trust me. If you can get enough air to complain, you're fine!" Rodimus said from the floor. Magnus could now see well enough to note his leader was carefully picking large pieces of glass off the floor and setting them in a neat stack a few feet away.
"My nose hurts!"
"Yeah, well a lot more is going to hurt if you don't sit sti..."
"What's the matter?" Magnus asked, wondering what in the world would make Rodimus cut off mid-rant.
"I cut myself," Rodimus said with a sigh.
Magnus looked and saw blood on Rodi's fingertips...it looked like a river to him.
"Is it bad? Should I call for help?"
"SIT! No. It's just a little cut. I'll probably get another before I'm done with this and I'll then get a band-aid. I'd just get a broom to clean this up with but I don't trust you to keep your big feet off the big shards. Knowing you it'd go right through."
"I'll sit still. Go get the broom."
Rodimus looked up at him skeptically and then nodded. He got up and went to the far side of the kitchen, sucking his bleeding finger as he did. Magnus decided to save his questions about that until AFTER all the glass was cleared away from his bare feet. When that was done he insisted on seeing Rodi's not-so grave injury.
"Does it hurt?" Magnus asked. "It's still bleeding."
Rodimus arched an eyebrow.
"I don't understand..." Magnus went on. "You hardly touched it and it sliced right through."
"Yeah, well...it was sharp. Magnus if you are planning to freak out over every little injury then you need to take up another hobby! I mean it! I TOLD you humans put up with this kind of thing on a daily basis!" He gave Magnus' arm a solid tweak - not a pinch exactly, but compressing the flesh to demonstrate its pliability. "This is soft stuff! It's 90 percent water encased in microscopic layers of membrane and held together mostly by wishful thinking! Your cells are nothing but little balloons waiting to be punctured, sliced, burned, bruised, and mutated by UV radiation! And THAT'S just from the everyday stuff in this kitchen!"
"But...it can't be that easy! Rodimus, I've seen you and Lancer spar. You don't hold back on each other!"
"Yeah, and we finish every session bruised and in most cases one of us ends up bleeding. That's just the way it is," Rodimus said sternly. He was annoyed that Magnus seemed to have forgotten all the warnings he'd been given when he first approached Rodimus with this idea.
"But...how can you spar with her knowing she might get hurt?" Magnus asked earnestly.
"You really don't pay attention do you? SHE usually goes after me! Besides, we do it to keep each other sharp. Better a few bruises or even a lot of bruises than getting killed in battle. She'll even more slaver/CV action than I do when she goes back tot he Maelstrom and..."
"How can you let her do that?" Magnus interrupted very abruptly.
"Huh?" came Rodi's adroit response.
"Seriously...how can you let her out of your sight to fight when you know she can get hurt so easily? How can they bear to be around us Rodi? If all it takes is a little piece of glass to make them bleed.... Spike and Carly raised Daniel around us! Marissa FIGHTS along with us! She's going to get herself killed! I can't let her take such chances anymore! I ca...."
"OK! Hold it right there big guy! You are getting right out of line and as chief advisor for your survival as a human I suggest you keep your big mouth shut about what chances you are or are not going to "let" Marissa take. Come at her now with that kind of attitude and I give you about 2 seconds survival time.... Come to think of it, I give you about the same even if you're in robot form! This all may be a big surprise to you but believe me she is well aware of the risks she takes and she still dares the flying chairs in your office whenever you get yourself in a snit. NO! Shut up! I'm lecturing again and if you love her you'll listen. I can hear this relationship going down in flames before it ever gets off the ground! Marissa won't stand for being ordered around or stifled any more than Lancer would."
"But..."
"But what Magnus? In this regard you aren't her superior in any sense of the word. When you're at work you accept her as an equal but now that you're in love with her you suddenly get to make all the decisions? It's HER life. She decided to spend it in EDC and you are very glad she did. You are also very glad she's got more courage and more determination than you can comprehend! Otherwise you wouldn't even remember her name, let alone love and respect her. She wouldn't be here otherwise and even if by chance she DID come into Metroplex, you'd ignore her the way you do every other human."
"But....but...."
"BUT...this is the price you pay for caring about her. I know she's precious to you but the love you feel for her doesn't change anything! She is who she is and a big part of that is her career and her need to be in the thick of things. It isn't easy loving someone with courage Mags. Ask Optimus. You have to watch them take risks. You can't go around loving that woman for her brains and independence and then ask her to quit thinking and acting for herself!"
"Of course I wouldn't do that! I just want her to be safe. Oh...forget it! You can't possibly understand what I'm...."
Magnus never got to finish that remark. He suddenly found himself on the floor with the wind knocked out of him and Rodimus sitting on his chest. It brought back some unpleasant memories for the City Commander....especially the look in those green-furious eyes.
"I'm no longer the type to sit idly by and let you stubbornly ignore what I'm saying you bull-headed moron! I SHOULD just let you go ahead and talk to her like that so you can learn things the hard way like you deserve. I like Marissa too much for that though and besides we might have trouble keeping your corpse out of the hands of her CO. I couldn't possibly know? Excuse me?! I had to let my mate head off on a suicide mission if you remember! I fully expected to feel her life extinguished! As it was, I just had to watch her take a toxin-coated shaft in the shoulder! Then I had to watch her undergo surgery after surgery and fever after fever! I have just a little more experience with the female human mind than you and if you don't stop being an asshole I'm leaving you to figure your asshole out by yourself! I've got several thousand better things to do tonight not the least of which is spending time with MY mate who just happens to be in town between all those risky missions! Very soon she will go back to her friends. I will hardly ever get to see her and here I am looking at YOUR sour face!"
Very few people chewed Magnus out and lived to tell about it....but then very few people ever actually found legitimate reasons to complain. Magnus was no pushover, but he knew truth when he heard it.
He didn't argue or try to defend himself. He just thought for a few minutes.
"You're right...on all counts. I'm being unreasonably argumentative and I'm sorry."
"You're what?"
"I'm sorry! You don't have to look so shocked you know!"
"I just never heard you use those words in conjunction before," Rodimus said.
"Oh shut up! I take it back! Now get off me dammit!"
Rodimus snickered but he complied.
"You're right about Marissa too," Magnus said grudgingly once he was on his feet and had his dignity back in place.
"I know. What made you realize that?"
"Well, I thought about what you went through when Lancer left. I know how hard it was for you but now that I know her a little I can see why you couldn't stop her. Ripping you to shreds would have just been the beginning.....and then I realized Marissa probably wouldn't respond all that differently. She's one of the very few people who's ever had the guts to argue with me directly, and she did it right from the start. If none of what we've been through already has dissuaded her yet then nothing I can say will change that....even if I'm terrified for her."
"Right," Rodimus said.
"How DO you put up with it...the fear I mean? I'm...I'm not used to being afraid like this."
"You never had so much to lose. I don't have any advise though. I'm scared all the time too. I just try to make the most of the times she IS where I can protect her by staying on her good side! Otherwise she wouldn't be practicing when she goes after my hide!"
Magnus sighed and looked down at the table, obviously still fretting.
"Look, a lot of this is fear of the unknown," Rodimus said. "In spite of everything, humans are pretty resilient and you'll come to wish that your robotic body was as independent sometimes. Flesh has its good points if you learn to maintain it right. Let's just try to get through as much as possible today and you can ask all the annoying questions you want after you understand the basics. Deal?"
"Deal...." Magnus said grudgingly.
Continued in Part D