May 19, 2378 2200 Kathryn's Quarters
Chakotay and Kathryn walked to the turbolift in companionable silence, still holding hands. "Deck three," Chakotay told the computer. They looked at each other nervously as the turbolift took them down to the deck their quarters were on. They walked to Kathryn's quarters although they hadn't said a word about whose quarters they'd have THE conversation in.
Once they'd gotten in her quarters Kathryn finally let go of Chakotay's hand and moved towards the replicator. "Do you want something? I'm going to have a glass of wine."
"That sounds good to me too," Chakotay said nervously as he sat on Kathryn's couch. She came over and handed him a glass of wine then sat on the couch. They weren't sitting very close but they had angled their bodies toward each other so that his left knee just touched her right.
They sat in awkward silence for a minute, then Chakotay said, "Spirits, Kathryn when we left the party I knew what I wanted to say but now that we're here, I can't think," he took a large gulp of his wine, set the glass down and then proceeded on, his words almost tumbling from his mouth. "I hate that we've been coerced into having this conversation and yet it's one I've wanted to have with you for years. But I've always been so afraid," he admitted.
"Afraid of what?" she asked softly.
"Afraid I'd say the wrong thing or more like me, say the right thing but in the wrong way. Kathryn, I'd rather endure the status quo indefinitely than risk losing you," he replied.
"Is that why you've never really pushed me to change our relationship?" she asked.
"Yes, I was always afraid you'd reject me totally. The few times I've crossed that invisible line between what is and isn't acceptable in our relationship you've pulled away from me. It's hell for me when you push me away like that and I'm always afraid you won't ever let me get close to you again," Chakotay confessed.
"Oh Chakotay, I'm so sorry I've hurt you, but you have to understand I'm afraid too, so very afraid," Kathryn admitted.
Now it was Chakotay's turn to ask for an explanation. "But why, surely you know how much I love you?"
"Oh Chakotay, I've never doubted your love for me, not since the day you told me the legend of the Angry Warrior." she replied.
Chakotay looked down at his hands for a moment, a bit embarrassed by the memory of the romantic fabrication he'd come up with to declare his love for Kathryn in a way that felt safe to him.
"Then what are you afraid of?" he asked intensely as he looked up and into her eyes.
"So many things Chakotay, I'm afraid I won't be able to focus on the difficult job of captaining this vessel if I become involved with you. I'm afraid I'll be so happy with you in my life that I won't care if we ever reach the Alpha quadrant. I'm afraid our personal relationship will affect our professional relationship," she stopped and waited for him to argue each point with her but he didn't.
Chakotay realized from the ease with which she recited this list of reasons that they weren't the main reason. "Come on, out with it," he demanded. "There's more isn't there?"
"Yes, yes there's more," she said, tears glistening in her eyes. "I don't think I could go on if I lost you. I've been through it before and I didn't love Justin anywhere near as much as I love you. Maybe I didn't even love him at all. I think that until I met you I didn't know what love was," she said.
Although Chakotay was very touched to hear Kathryn's last remark, he knew he needed to get her to talk more about this man Justin. "Kathryn who was Justin?" he asked
"Lieutenant Justin Tighe, my first fiancé," Kathryn answered.
"You were engaged before Mark?" Chakotay asked.
"Yes, Justin and I were both assigned to the Al Batani under Owen Paris. When the Cardassians captured the admiral and me, Justin led the Rangers who freed us. We began seeing each other and soon were engaged to be married," she explained.
It tore at his heart to think Kathryn had been a hostage of the Cardassians. "What happened? I mean, why didn't you marry him?" Chakotay asked.
"My father, Justin and I were flight testing a prototype shuttle near Tau Ceti. There was a catastrophic failure and the shuttle crashed on the edge of the polar ice cap. I was in the aft of the shuttle and my father and Justin were in the front. The impact cracked the fuselage and the front of the shuttle dropped into the water. I lost consciousness for a while, when I came to and realized the situation I went to the shuttle's emergency transporter. I found that it was just barely functional. The way it was I could only get one of them out. I tried to repair it so I could get both of them out, because I couldn't make that choice. But I wasn't fast enough and they both died." Towards the end of her account of the tragedy she was crying so hard Chakotay could barely make out what she was saying.
He pulled her to him, cradling her in his lap as though she were a small child. "Oh Kathryn, I never knew you went through so much sorrow," he held her as she cried and spoke soothingly to her.
Finally, she pulled away from him a bit, so she could continue talking to him. He almost couldn't believe that even with her face streaked with tears and her eyes red and swollen she was still so heartbreakingly beautiful to him.
"When I lost my father and Justin, I sunk into a terrible depression. I would never have come out of it without my sister's help. What would happen to the crew if I lost you and sunk into another depression?" she asked.
"Do you really think losing me after we became lovers would be that much harder than losing me now?" he asked her.
"I, I don't know," she replied honestly.
"You don't know because you haven't let yourself think about it, have you?" Chakotay inquired almost accusingly.
"No, and I don't want to think about it, Chakotay! I don't want to think about losing you ever," Kathryn wailed.
"Kathryn nobody lives forever, some day you are going to lose me. The question is what do you want to have to comfort you? Do you want regrets about what we could have had to keep you company in your grief or do you want memories of what we did have?" he asked her intensely.
"Even if I agreed to have a relationship with you now, out here in the Delta quadrant, I'm not sure I can agree to our having a child while we are out here," Kathryn said.
"I know," Chakotay said softly.
Kathryn was shocked, "I, I thought you'd fight me a lot harder than that."
"Oh, Kathryn, I want us to have a child too and I can't say I like the doctor's analysis of our chances if we wait … but I'm not sure it would be fair to bring a child into this environment," Chakotay responded.
"But Naomi's all right and Tom and B'Elanna are about to have a child," Kathryn argued.
Chakotay realized he'd just used reverse psychology on Kathryn, but he hadn't done it intentionally. He really did have reservations about having a child aboard Voyager. Then his father's words from his vision quest came back to him. "If every couple waited to have a child until they thought circumstances were perfect the human race would have died out long ago," Chakotay said to himself.
"What did you say?" Kathryn asked.
"Oh just something my father said to me in a vision quest," Chakotay answered. He picked Kathryn up out of his lap and set her down on the couch, then took her hands in his and gazed into her eyes. "Kathryn, answer a few questions for me and please, just yes or no, OK?" he implored her.
"Alright," Kathryn replied uncertainly.
"Do you love me?" he asked hopefully.
"Yes," she answered simply.
"Do you want to have my child?" he looked intently into her eyes as he asked this very important question.
"I-" Kathryn began.
"Yes or No, Kathryn?" Chakotay interrupted her.
"Yes," she conceded.
He was on a roll here so he figured he might as well go for broke. He contemplated asking her to marry him but decided that might set her off and running again, so he'd settle for a kiss. He was fairly certain if he could just kiss her once she'd be his forever. A corner of his mind knew that was probably a bit cocky of him but it was just how he felt.
"May I kiss you?" Chakotay asked.
She didn't know what she had expected him to ask next, but that wasn't it. But at this moment it didn't seem like the request was out of place. "Okay," she replied, almost as shyly as a teenager.
Chakotay pulled her to him and framed her face with his hands. He kissed her softly, gently brushing his lips against hers and then, as she responded to him, he deepened the kiss, their first kiss. He tilted his head a bit and began coaxing her lips apart with his tongue. When she opened her lips for him he resisted the temptation to simply plunge his tongue in and plunder her mouth, instead he gently slid his tongue in past her teeth and began exploring the warmth and silkiness of her mouth. He removed his hands from her face and placed one behind her head and with the other pulled her body closer to his. When she ran her fingers through the hair at the back of his head he groaned. Finally they pulled apart gasping for air. "Oh Chakotay," Kathryn whispered before she pulled him back to her for another passionate kiss. Chakotay pulled his lips away from hers and began kissing her cheek, her jaw and then he moved down to her neck, to the spot he remembered marking in his dream. Just as Kathryn let out a shuddering sigh, her commbadge signaled.
"Bridge to Captain Janeway," said the voice of Tuvok.
Kathryn and Chakotay sprang away from each other so quickly that Kathryn ended up on the floor. Chakotay swore, "Damn Vulcan," and offered Kathryn a hand up. She grinned at Chakotay, tapped her commbadge and then rubbed her rump, as she said, "Janeway here, what is it Tuvok?"
"Astrometrics reports a large area of plasma storms directly ahead of us. The phenomenon is similar to but much larger than the Badlands," Tuvok reported.
"How long would it take us to go around the storm area?" Janeway asked.
"It is difficult to be precise at this time, the plasma storms are limiting our ability to scan through to clear space beyond them; however, Seven of Nine is attempting to make an estimate as we speak," Tuvok replied.
"I hate to do this at this hour of the night but I think we need to gather the troops and see what our options are. Hail the senior staff and have them meet in the conference room in 15 minutes," Janeway ordered.
"Yes captain," Tuvok acknowledged.
Janeway turned to look at Chakotay. "Now are you so sure you want to share your life with a Star Fleet Captain?" she asked him with an impish grin.
"Absolutely," Chakotay said gathering her into his arms and kissing her soundly.
"Down boy," she said as she pushed out of his arms, "we have a staff meeting to get to."
'Maybe I'll get lucky and the turbolift will jam, nah not a chance, not with my luck.' Chakotay thought as he followed Janeway out of her quarters with a grin on his face.
May 19, 2378 2300 Conference Room
Janeway surveyed the conference room. Tuvok and the Doctor were in uniform and Seven of Nine was in her normal cat suit. Everyone else, herself included, were in casual clothing having presumably just come from the party on the holodeck. Joe Carey who was filling in for B'Elanna as head of Engineering looked a bit uncomfortable so she decided to put him at ease.
"Good Evening Joe, thanks for stepping in for B'Elanna," she said. Joe nodded to her.
"Well, Seven why don't you tell us what you can about this phenomenon," the captain began.
"Very well captain," said Seven as she rose and activated a monitor at the far end of the conference room. A picture of roiling plasma storms looking like terrestrial tornadoes and hurricanes except for being vividly colored filled the screen.
"It is a roughly spherical region of intense plasma activity similar to the Badlands in the Alpha quadrant but significantly larger," Seven continued.
"How large is it?" Chakotay inquired.
"It is difficult to know for sure as it is interfering with scanners, but I estimate it is 300 light years across." Seven continued.
Tom whistled. "Wow, that's huge, it would take us months to cross through that area at Warp 6."
"Its doubtful we could maintain anywhere near that speed in a plasma storm field," Joe Carey stated.
"Yes it was difficult enough to maneuver through the Badlands at impulse," Chakotay added
"But if we skirt around it will take us nearly a year to circumnavigate," added Harry.
"Excuse me, but there is another consideration here," the Doctor said.
"Yes, Doctor," Janeway said, by way of acknowledging the EMH.
"The levels of radiation in that region are definitely hazardous to humanoid health. The shields should protect the crew for a while but a prolonged journey through that region would pose considerable risk to the crew," the doctor stated.
"Given the speeds we'd have to drop to, to get safely through the storms and the dangers of the radiation levels, its seems the long way will actually be the quicker and certainly the safer way to go," the captain concluded.
"Even the longer route may not be entirely safe," commented Tuvok.
"Yes," Chakotay interjected, "this Super-sized Badlands would make an ideal place for pirates with ships possessing improved shielding or manned by species immune to the radiation to hide in and then launch attacks on unsuspecting ships."
Once again Chakotay's superior grasp of a tactical situation had robbed Tuvok of what he, as Security Chief, was about to say. He looked slightly annoyed even for a Vulcan, which pleased Chakotay, though he certainly didn't feel he had repaid Tuvok for his interruption.
"We will need to keep at a good distance from the storm activity to assure ourselves a clear view of any approaching ships," Chakotay concluded.
"Harry has this 'Super-sized Badlands' begun interfering with communications?" the captain asked making a slight emphasis on the nickname Chakotay had coined for the phenomenon.
"Not significantly, but if we get much closer it certainly will affect long distance communications and of course our connection with the Midas Array as well," Harry responded.
"We're going to need to inform Star Fleet of this detour, we could miss both planned rendezvous points with this significant a delay," Chakotay said to the Captain.
"What rendezvous points?" Tom asked.
"I think its time we let at least the senior staff in on this, Captain," Chakotay said.
"Yes, I suppose you're right, Commander," Kathryn said. She wondered if anyone noticed how formal she and Chakotay were being, overcompensating she thought. Perhaps the senior staff would think they were angry at one another.
"Would you care to do the honors?" she said with a smile, hoping to dispel the notion that she and Chakotay might be on the outs with each other.
"Certainly Captain," Chakotay replied then stood and began slowly traversing the room as he informed the rest of the staff of Starfleet's plan.
"Star Fleet Command has redirected several deep space vessels in our direction. We are supposed to rendezvous with them in about six years. They have also sent two new deep space probes towards us at maximum warp. These probes are much larger than the normal deep space probes; think of them as high-speed freight containers. The first probe contains components that Star Fleet assures us will allow us to improve the efficiency of our engines so that we can cruise at warp 8.5 rather than warp 6."
There was a palpable excitement in the briefing room, but no one wanted to interrupt the commander.
"That probe also contains components for a cloaking device that should be compatible with our shields, so that we will be able to avoid conflicts with opponents who are 'outside our weight class', so to speak," Chakotay explained.
"What's in the second probe?" Harry Kim asked like a kid anxious to know what's in his Christmas present.
"Essential resources like dilithium crystals and vorilium, Harry. Only the probe isn't going to bring its whole load to us, as we wouldn't have enough specialized storage space for all of it. The probe will drop caches of the supplies at key locations, so we won't have to stop to trade or mine for those materials," Chakotay replied with a smile.
"This will cut years off our journey, won't it?" Tom asked.
"Yes, Tom if everything goes as planned we should be home in about ten years," the captain responded.
"Why didn't you tell us about this immediately, Captain?" Joe Carey asked.
"We didn't want to raise the crew's hopes only to dash them again," she answered.
Everyone around the conference table let that settle in.
"Should we keep this to ourselves then, captain?" Joe asked.
"Yes, I think that's for the best for now," she replied.
"How will this detour impact the rendezvous?" Harry Kim asked anxiously.
"We can contact Star Fleet command and let them know the situation. I'm sure they can have the deep space vessels send new directives to the probes so that the probes wait for us in an appropriate location," said Chakotay.
"Yes," the captain answered and then slipped into command mode, "Seven, determine the optimum distance we should maintain between us and the 'Super-sized Badlands' to maintain communications with Star Fleet and to give us a buffer zone against pirates. Send that information to the officer at Conn. Tuvok when the necessary information is available lay in a course around the 'Super-sized Badlands' and …"
"Torres to EMH," B'Elanna's strained voice interrupted the Captain's last command.
"EMH here, what is it, Lieutenant?" the doctor asked gently.
"I think the baby's coming, this doesn't feel like the other times, ahh!" B'Elanna's anguished cry of pain had Tom Paris out the door in a shot.
"Computer transfer the EMH program to sickbay," the doctor said and his mobile emitter fell to the floor of the conference room. Chakotay bent over and picked it up. He'd see that it got back to the doctor.
"Well," the captain said, "as I was saying before I was so pleasantly interrupted, once the course information is laid in Tuvok, engage. Dismissed."
"Oh and Commander Chakotay," she added before anyone had a chance to leave.
"Yes," Chakotay said.
"You might want to have a relief Conn officer on standby in case B'Elanna's labor lasts into Alpha shift," the captain added.
"I think I'll put one on even if it doesn't. Tom's bound to want to spend time with B'Elanna and the baby after the birth," Chakotay replied.
"Yes, yes he is," Kathryn said thoughtfully.
"Him and everyone else on the ship," Harry said as he started to leave the briefing room. "Hey I just thought of something, if she delivers on Gamma shift I think I win the baby pool for time!" he said gleefully.
On that note everyone left the briefing room in high spirits.
May 19, 2378 2325 Deck Three Corridor outside Kathryn's Quarters
As Chakotay and Kathryn approached her quarters he asked, "May I come in?"
"Its late Chakotay and we both have duty in the morning," she said.
"But we haven't finished our discussion," he argued.
"As I recall we had stopped talking," she said.
He ducked his head a little then looked up at her and said, "Well I thought the non-verbal communication we were engaged in was fairly significant and I don't think it was over."
"It is for tonight," she said firmly.
"Oh all right," he said giving in, "how about a goodnight kiss then?" he added hopefully.
Kathryn looked both ways in the corridor and upon seeing a passing crewmember said, "not in the corridor."
"Well, then let me in," he countered.
"All right but just for a minute," she relented.
As soon as the doors to her quarters closed behind him he descended on her lips. He backed her up into the bulkhead near the door and continued his passionate assault on her until she pushed him away. "Whoa, I said a goodnight kiss not a seduction!" she said, torn between being flattered and being angry with him.
"Sorry," he said with a grin. Kathryn had the feeling it was the most insincere thing she'd ever heard him say.
"Goodnight" she said and shoved him towards the door.
He hung onto the doorway with his hands, preventing the door from closing and said "Goodnight my love, sleep well" he called to her and then finally let the door close and went off to his own quarters.
May 19, 2378 2340
As Chakotay began undressing he decided to call Sickbay and see how B'Elanna was doing.
"Chakotay to Sickbay," he said to initiate the comm link.
"Sickbay here," the EMH responded, "what can I do for you, commander?"
"I was just wondering how B'Elanna's doing?" Chakotay asked.
"She's doing just fine," the EMH said and in the background Chakotay heard Klingon swearing and the sound of something striking the wall. "In fact at this rate I think my goddaughter should be putting in her first appearance before gamma shift is over," the EMH added.
"Do you think I should come down and offer her some support?" Chakotay asked the doctor.
"No, Commander you get a good night's sleep. Mr. Paris and I have everything under control and the new parents are going to need some of their family to be rested enough to help them care for their newborn," the EMH told him.
"Will you call me as soon as the baby is born? I'd like to come down and see her right away," Chakotay added.
"Of course, goodnight commander," the EMH said.
May 20, 2378 0545 Chakotay's Quarters
"Sickbay to Commander Chakotay," the EMH's voice woke Chakotay and it took him a moment to locate his commbadge on his nightstand.
"Chakotay here, what is it Doctor?" Chakotay asked still a bit fuzzy with sleep.
"You can come down now and greet your niece," the doctor proudly announced.
"She's OK?" Chakotay asked anxiously.
"Yes, all 2.9 Kilograms of her is perfect, from her ten little toes to her delicate cranial ridges." The EMH proudly reported.
"Tell Tom and B'Elanna I'll be right down as soon as I can be. Oh and Doc," Chakotay said.
"Yes?" the EMH replied.
"I'll bring your mobile emitter with me when I come," Chakotay said.
"Thank You Commander, I knew it would be in good hands when I left it in the conference room," the EMH responded, trying not to sound chagrinned.
Chakotay's first thought after he finished talking with the doctor was 'I have to share this news with Kathryn.'
"Chakotay to Janeway," he said as he tapped his commbadge.
"Janeway here," came the muffled response. "What do you want? And it better be good or you're a dead man," Kathryn answered.
'Spirits she sounds so sexy when she's just been woke up,' Chakotay thought.
"I thought you'd like to know B'Elanna's had her baby. I'm going to get dressed and go down and see her. Want to join me?" he asked.
"Oh," Janeway replied as she sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, "yes, I'd like that very much. Give me five or ten minutes to get dressed."
"I'll be there in five," Chakotay responded.
"Hey I said 5 or 10 minutes. That means I'll probably need 10," she said in a tone midway between amusement and annoyance.
"Which means it'll be a lot more fun for me if I show up in five," Chakotay said as he terminated the commlink.
Voyager's newest couple spent the next five minutes in an unwitting race to see who could dress fastest. In exactly five minutes from the time he had terminated the commlink Chakotay stood in front of Kathryn's quarters leaning on the call button.
May 20, 2378 0550 Kathryn's Quarter's
"Come in, come in already," Kathryn growled with affection as she fastened her uniform jacket.
"Damn," Chakotay said as he entered Kathryn's quarters and noticed she was dressed, "you're already dressed."
"Well, I figured after last night I'd better be," she said as she gave him a sly look. "Here make yourself useful and help me put these pips on," she requested as she handed him her captain's pips.
Chakotay tried to concentrate on getting each pip on in its proper location but he found Kathryn's proximity distracting.
"There that looks right I think," Chakotay said "Never realized how lucky I am to be wearing a Maquis rank insignia instead of pips," he added.
"Well, don't get too comfortable with it. I'm pretty sure when we get home there'll be four shiny pips and a big ship that goes with them waiting for you," Kathryn said.
"Either that or a prison cell," Chakotay countered.
"Don't say that not even as a joke," Kathryn said visibly upset.
Chakotay reached out a hand and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Come on let's go see Voyager's newest crewmember," he smiled, showing his dimples to her, knowing that would improve her mood.
"Yes, let's go see her, now," Kathryn said and smiled brightly.
May 20, 2378 0600 Sickbay
Chakotay and Kathryn entered Sickbay to the sounds of three adults billing and cooing to a newborn. The EMH and Tom were standing on either side of the biobed B'Elanna and her newborn daughter were occupying. B'Elanna was cradling her daughter to her. When she looked up to see Chakotay and the captain, she immediately offered the baby to Chakotay.
"Here Chakotay hold your niece, Miral Kathryn Paris-Torres," B'Elanna said.
Chakotay didn't hesitate at all and gather the baby into his large brown hands and walked a little bit a way from the biobed.
"You named her Kathryn?" the captain asked, with tears brimming in her eyes and a bit of a catch in her voice.
"Yes, I named her after the too most influential women in my life." B'Elanna replied.
While the two women talked, Chakotay carried on a very secret conversation with his niece. "Don't tell anyone I said this cause you'll get your old Tio in trouble, but I think you're the most beautiful woman on this ship. And you are definitely going to have your namesake's ability to wrap me around your little finger. You know, I think you can do your old uncle a favor here. I'm going to put you in your Aunt Kathryn's arms here in a minute and I want you to do everything in your power to get her to fall in love with the idea of having a baby, OK?" he whispered to the baby.
Just then Tom came over to Chakotay. "Hey, what sort of secrets are you telling my best girl?" Tom asked.
Chakotay looked at Tom conspiratorially and said softly, "I've just enlisted your daughter's cooperation in getting Kathryn to agree to make us one of these of our own. Watch," he said.
With that Chakotay walked over to where Kathryn was still talking to B'Elanna and held Miral out to Kathryn for her to hold. Kathryn took the baby instinctively then looked down into the beautiful face and instantly fell in love. Chakotay could see it in her face and he knew Miral had just clinched the victory for him and his unborn child, and for Kathryn too really. Because he knew in his heart of hearts that her life would be so much better when they were together.
The doctor came in and said, "All right visiting hours are over. It's time for B'Elanna and Miral to get some rest."
He looked at B'Elanna expecting an argument but she was too tired to put up a fuss. So he continued giving orders, carefully couched as suggestions as he was addressing his commanding officers, at least until he relieved them of duty, if he had to. "Why don't you two take Mr. Paris down to the mess hall for an early breakfast and then see that he gets back to his quarters and rests a bit."
Tom started to protest but the doctor interrupted, "First rule of effective parenting, when your child sleeps you should too, otherwise you'll never get any rest."
"Come on Tom, let's see if Neelix won't wrestle up something good for the new father," Chakotay said as he patted the younger man on the back.
"Are you coming, Kathryn?" Chakotay asked and turned just in time to see the doctor practically prying Miral out of Kathryn's arms. She bent and kissed the top of Miral's head and Chakotay heard a softly whispered "Bye for now precious one," from Kathryn.
"Yes," Kathryn said as she stepped between the two men and linked arms with them.
"Let's see what culinary delights we can pry out of Neelix this morning," she added.
Tom loosened her grip and went back to the biobed to give B'Elanna a kiss and found she'd already fallen a sleep worn out from the effort of childbirth.
"OK, now we can go," Tom said.
May 20, 2378 0615 Mess Hall
In the mess hall Tom was greeted with lots of handshakes and hugs and well wishes. Neelix had gone out of his way to make Tom's favorite pancakes and all in all it was a very jovial atmosphere for so early in the morning.
Harry Kim came in and joined the trio. His grin was so big Chakotay just had to ask, "So did you win the baby pool Harry?"
"Yes sir, I sure did. Biggest pot I've ever won, too," he answered gleefully.
"Yeah, well the house's share should help B'Elanna and I with whatever we need for Miral that we didn't get at the baby shower," Tom said.
Neither Tom nor Harry noticed how quiet the Captain was but Chakotay did. He realized he needed to get her out of the mess hall and somewhere more private while she was still in this pensive mood. He needed to strike while the iron was hot so to speak. He saw that Tom was nearly done with his breakfast and said, "Well Tom we better follow the Doctor's orders and get you home and tucked in bed."
"Uh, thanks big guy but I think I can tuck myself in." Tom replied as he stood to take his tray to the recycler.
"All right Tom, but at least let us walk you to your quarters." Kathryn added following Tom's example.
"OK," Tom said giving in, actually grateful for his commanding officers' concern and their company. The trio exited the mess hall and headed for Tom's quarters. After dropping him off they agreed to go back to the captain's quarters, as there was still almost an hour before alpha shift began and as Chakotay had pointed out they still had some unresolved issues to discuss.
May 20, 2378 0715 Kathryn's Quarters
After they entered Kathryn's quarters Chakotay immediately began his strategy to get Kathryn to agree to have a child as soon as the doctor said it was safe to do so. "Kathryn, tell me when you held Miral in your arms that you didn't wish she was yours." he started in on her.
"I can't. You know I can't. I want a baby, Chakotay," she almost wailed.
"Then let me give you one, Kathryn," he said. He moved to her and held her by the arms. "Let's stop putting our lives on hold, waiting for that perfectly safe moment to happen, because it never will. Let's grab what we can from life and hold on tight." Chakotay looked into her eyes and he could see her resolve weakening.
"Yes, yes alright," she capitulated.
Suddenly Chakotay found himself wanting to be very careful, he wanted it all spelled out and he wanted her to be the one to say it, so he asked, "All right to what?"
"All right, when the doctor says its safe for us to have a baby, we'll try," she said softly.
"The 'old-fashioned way'?" Chakotay asked hopefully.
"Yes," Kathryn laughed at his eagerness, "the 'old-fashioned way'."
Chakotay let out a whoop and picked her up and twirled her around. When he set her down, she said with a grin, "This does seem a bit strange though."
"What seems strange?" Chakotay inquired, a bit puzzled.
"Well here we are talking about having a baby and well we've never even talked about…" Kathryn began but Chakotay interrupted her.
"Oh Spirits, me and my stupid contrary nature. I've gone and gotten it all backwards," Chakotay said, perturbed at himself.
Suddenly Chakotay knelt down in front of Kathryn and took her hand. "Kathryn Janeway, would you do me the great honor of marrying me?" Chakotay asked.
She looked down at his expectant face and had to laugh at the absurdity of things but she said, "Yes, Chakotay, I'll marry you."
He again picked her up but this time instead of twirling her around he cradled her in his arms and began walking deliberately towards her bedroom as he covered her face with kisses. When Kathryn realized his intended destination she pulled back from him and demanded, "What do you think you're doing?"
Caught up in his thoughts about making love to Kathryn for the first time, Chakotay was taken completely off guard by her question. "Um well, …I thought… I mean … well, I thought your bed would be a better place for our first time than the floor," he finally managed to get out.
Kathryn slid out of his arms and said firmly, "No."
Chakotay's brain was pretty well frozen up and right now, he was thinking with his other head anyway, so he wasn't exactly up to being an eloquent speaker at the moment, so he simply asked, "What do you mean, No?" He was hoping she was just going to change the venue for their first time, but he had a sinking feeling she was going to postpone it instead.
"We are not about to make love for the first time, not here and certainly not now," Kathryn said with great conviction.
"But - why not?" Chakotay lamented.
"For one thing we are due on the bridge in a little while, but even if we weren't I don't want to make love until after we're married." she replied.
"What!" Chakotay roared. "Kathryn that's, that's so old-fashioned, it's Victorian."
"Maybe it is, but that's the way I need it to be," she replied softly.
Something about the way she said she needed it to be that way instead of saying she wanted it that way, set off a warning bell in Chakotay's mind. "What do you mean you need it to be that way?" he asked trying to be reasonable, even as his body warred with his mind for control of the situation.
"Chakotay, this makes the third time I've said yes to a marriage proposal, as the other two times didn't work out too well, I'd like to do things a little differently this time and see if I can break the curse. Please, Chakotay let me have this one thing my way, please," she pleaded with him.
"Don't I always?" he mumbled under his breath.
"What Chakotay?" Kathryn asked.
"Nothing Kathryn, its OK, we can wait if that's what you want, but …" Chakotay said.
"But what?" she asked earnestly.
"I want a few concessions from you," he said sulkily.
"All right what do you want?" Kathryn asked, trying to be understanding.
"I want to be able to put my arm around you in public and kiss you too, well not like I'd kiss you when we're alone, but you know what I mean," Chakotay said.
"You mean you want it to be obvious that we're a couple?" she asked.
"Yes I suppose that's what I mean," he replied.
"OK, but only off duty, all right? On duty we are still the captain and first officer," she countered.
"OK, and we get married as soon as we locate an M class planet with a compatible culture?" he continued to negotiate.
"Agreed," she smiled, then the reality of the situation sunk in. "Oh my god, I just agreed to marry my first officer!" Kathryn exclaimed.
"No, no you did not. Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay have nothing to do with this. Kathryn just agreed to marry Chakotay AND to have his baby," Chakotay said decisively.
"Yes I did, didn't I?" she said and kissed him passionately.
"Spirits, woman if you expect me to keep my side of this bargain you've got to stop kissing me like that," Chakotay said, but he didn't really seem to mind.
"Well, its time for Kathryn and Chakotay to give way to the Captain and Commander. We are due on the bridge in just a few minutes," she said.
"Okay, but just one more kiss, please?" Chakotay begged.
She couldn't deny him and was soon lost in the sweetness of another of his kisses. Suddenly he released her and said, "Wait right here, I almost forgot something." He rushed out of her quarters, the sudden loss of his body against hers and his lips on hers made her feel bereft.
In all the excitement of Miral's birth he'd almost forgotten. It was Kathryn's birthday. Now if he could just find that necklace. He'd replicated the chain and hand engraved the heart for her on New Earth, but he never gave it to her because Voyager returned. Now he could finally give it to her. There it was, in the little carved box he'd made for her. He picked it up and ran back to her quarters as quickly as he could.
"Here," he said thrusting the box into her hands, "Happy Birthday".
"Oh Chakotay," she said overwhelmed for a moment by the loving look on his face. She looked at the beautiful box, admiring all the intricate carving on it but before she could finish admiring the box he urged her to, "Go on, open it Kathryn".
She opened the box with trembling hands and extracted the necklace. "Oh Chakotay, it's so beautiful," she stopped to read the back.
For My Peace
With All My Love
Your Angry Warrior
Tears began to form in her eyes. "Please help me put it on," she requested of him.
"Are you sure you want to wear it on duty?" Chakotay asked as he fumbled with the tiny clasp.
"Oh yes, Chakotay I want to wear it always. But when on duty I will hide it," she said and slipped it beneath her turtleneck. It gave him a thrill to think she would always wear it and wear it so close to her heart.
"Come on Commander we're about to be late and I don't want that happening or I might have to rethink this relationship," she teasingly threatened.
"Uh, yes ma'am. I mean, no ma'am. Spirits Kathryn, don't scare me like that, you're rattling me," he said with a grin as they exited her quarters.
"All right, I'll behave but hurry up, would you?" she said and pulled him towards the turbolift. A passing crewmember did an acceptable imitation of Tuvok and his elevating eyebrow as she walked by her laughing commanding officers, who looked for all the world to her like a young couple in love.