Okay, I do believe the angst train is making it's final stop...there are only two more chaps and they are heavily weighted in the fluff side of the mountain, so I hope you enjoyed the ride!

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Don't wake up. Don't wake up…it'll be so much easier this way. Please don't wake up…

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Booth crept down the hall towards the living room where a small table lamp was on, indicating there was not an intruder. He peeked around the corner and sighed. There she was, exactly as he knew, hoped, she would be.

April shrugged further into the leather jacket she'd pulled off the hook by the door, she hoped Booth wouldn't mind her borrowing it. Biting her lip, she reached for the doorknob, praying to God that it wouldn't squeak.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard his voice behind her.

"Most climb down a tree when they sneak out."

She turned and pressed her back up against the door, holding back a wince as she did so.

"I'm not really in any condition to be climbing trees." She said evenly, her hand still awkwardly gripping the door handle.

Booth moved so that he was leaning against the wall of the hallway and crossed his arms.

"Where are you going?"

"The hospital." She squared her shoulders, ready for an argument. "Don't try and stop me Seeley, I have to go. Tommy…I have to go."

Booth narrowed his eyes for a second and studied her. Finally, took a deep breath and stood straighter, shaking his head.

"I wasn't going to try and stop you, I'm not sure I could if you really want to go."

Stunned, April furrowed her brows, about to speak when Booth beat her to it.

"But before you do…care to join me for something to drink?"

Tilting her head, she hesitated before smiling. "Can I have a Rum and Coke?"

Booth cracked a small gring and turned his back, heading for the kitchen.

"Sure. In five years. Sit on the couch, I'll be out in a minute."

April rolled her eyes and eyed the doorknob before releasing it. She'd expected him to be angry, or at least upset with her. Neither were things she was really looking forward to, but felt prepared for. Since Booth had simply shrugged and calmly headed to the kitchen, she was curious as to why.

"I guess I could spare a few minutes."

Pulling Booth's jacket tighter around her, she tugged on a piece of her hair as she sat down on the couch. Feeling fidgety, she shifted several times before finally pulling her feet under in such a way that her slight body barely took up less than one couch cushion.

Booth returned from the kitchen and sat down next to her.

"Warm milk. Disgusting, but it works." He smiled and turned away, sipping his drink carefully as his eyes slowly left focus.

April watched him for a moment, his usually vibrant brown eyes were vacant and she wondered if she really had been what woken him, or if maybe it was something else.

"Seeley?" She tried. No response.

"Seeley?" She touched his arm, Booth jumped, turning to look at her.

"What is it?"

"Is something bothering you? You look like…something's bothering you."

Booth gave her a small smile to put her at ease and rested his elbows on his knees, starring out into the dark night through the window across from them.

"You're living with an ex-sniper you know."

April scrunched up her face.

"What?"

"Trying to sneak out? Not that hard, unless you're living with someone who's been trained to listen and respond to strange noises, even in their sleep." The grin fell from his face and he turned to look at her. "Don't do it again, okay?"

April's eyes faltered and her deep green eyes turned turbulent. "Seeley…I have to go to him…"

"I'm not disputing that. I've seen the way you are together and I understand, believe me I do. But…just don't try to sneak out like that okay? I almost lost you today…I made a promise to your dad to keep you safe and so far I haven't done such a great job keeping it. Don't put me through waking up and not knowing where you are. Please April?" Booth was surprised by the slight shake in his voice and knew his nightmare had affected him more than he cared to admit.

April's eyes widened at the raw emotion detectable in Booth's voice. She nodded and turned away, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again." She said barely above a whisper, hating herself for causing him pain.

Booth nodded and reached over to put a hand on her shoulder.

"Okay." He tugged her ponytail and she smiled down at the coffee table. "What is it about this guy anyway? Tommy, what makes him so special?"

At mention of his name April's face brightened like a 1000watt light bulb and she turned her beautiful smile on him.

She sighed. "Tommy. Well…Tommy is…everything good. Everything strong, and brave…he…" She paused, searching for the right phrase. "He restored my faith in people."

She nodded, turning to face him, scooting a bit closer. Booth tilted his head at the dreamy look in her eyes.

"Before Tommy, I'd had a rough couple of years. But…he came along and he put up with everything. Tolerated me, enjoyed me for me…he was there for me when no one else was around." She shook her head slowly and tugged on a piece of string falling from Booth's sleeve. "I to this day don't know why he did it, but I'm glad he did. Without him…I don't know where I'd be except," she shrugged, "lost."

She looked up to meet Booth's eyes for the first time and smiled softly. "That's why."

"That's great April. I'm happy for you." Booth smiled and turned to his milk, polishing it off in one gulp.

"Seeley? Do you think …" She took a deep breath, "…do you think Dad woulda' liked Tommy?"

Booth's shoulders slumped slightly, the memories of his best friend were still heavy even after all these years.

"I do. It's obvious how happy Tommy makes you and that's all your dad ever wanted. For you to be happy." He said quietly, trying to gauge her reaction to what he was saying. She just fiddled with her fingers in her lap.

"Yeah…that's what I always thought too."

Booth was slightly startled when she sniffed; he hadn't expected she'd started crying.

"But that day…I don't know. Sometimes I think about that day…and I wonder." She looked up and Booth caught his breath, her red-rimmed eyes standing out from pale skin. Dark green eyes that, just a moment ago had held such hope and love, were now tortured and sad. He frowned and reached for her hand, hoping to offer some comfort and reassurance.

"I wonder if it was all a lie. All the hugs and 'I love you's. I wonder if he meant a single word…because who does that? Who blows his brains out and leaves his twelve-year-old daughter there to pick up the pieces of her life when he's gone?" Her shaking voice was masked with glassy tears and laced with bitterness. She gripped Booth's hand harder. "I'm the one that found him…sometimes I…" She trailed off, shaking her head as she closed her eyes, years of suppressed tears streaming down her cheeks. She held her breath, attempting to banish the memories from her consciousness and keep the sobs at bay.

"I didn't know you…saw." Booth practically choked on the words. He'd seen his fair share of suicides, none of them were pretty and the images had haunted him for months afterward. April seeing it, being only twelve at the time, he didn't even want to imagine the kind of trauma that caused.

A sob broke from her chest and he couldn't take it, pulled her into his arms and tucked her head beneath his chin as she cried.

"It was…everywhere….he just left me…I can't…I can't…" April sobbed into his chest and ended up hiccupping as if air was a precious commodity she couldn't afford. Booth calmly rubbed her back and waited for her to regain control.

He closed his eyes his guilt reflex working perfectly.

I could've…should've been there for her. What was I thinking? How could I let her do this on her own?

"I'm right here April." He kissed her hair, "I'm always here, little Bug."

After a minute or so April's breathing returned to normal, but she was content with staying wrapped in Booth's strong arms so she didn't attempt to move.

"Is it wrong that I miss him sometimes? Even after everything?" She asked quietly.

Booth sighed.

"No April, he was your father, I don't think it's wrong to miss your father." April nodded, but Booth didn't feel se was convinced.

"Do you remember why I call you Bug?" He asked suddenly.

April shifted but didn't move. "Yeah. Of course I do."

Booth nodded. "You were six years old and performing in your first school play…"

"I know the story Seeley. I was there."

Booth continued as if she hadn't spoken and April found his voice, and the vibrations rumbling in his chest quite calming.

"It was about a garden, or a greenhouse or something. Anyway, you were the ladybug. You came out on stage and you said about three lines I think. Even so, your dad, mom and I couldn't have been more proud. You smiled that big toothless grin and afterward, I scooped you up and we all went out to eat."

Booth smiled, remembering the day vividly. "You absolutely refused to take off your costume, always were an opinionated child weren't you April?" He smoothed her hair once more before continuing. "You were acting like such a little lady that night. If you hadn't been a three-foot tall red and black polka-dotted insect, you would have fit right in at Chez Francios'. That is until you managed to shoot spaghetti out of your nose."

"Seeley, is there a reason you're regaling one of the most embarrassing stories from my short childhood?" April mumbled, studying her fingers and the ends of her hair to ignore his laughter.

"Because April, One, that was the day I started calling you Ladybug, and later just Bug. But also because…you remember how happy you were that day? How safe you felt?" Booth asked quietly.

April only nodded; sitting up to face him as she realized the important part of the anecdote was coming.

"It'll feel like that again someday April. You'll feel safe and happy again someday." Booth said in all seriousness.

April bit her lip and nodded.

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I believe you Uncle Seeley. Always.

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Only two more chaps to go...anyone up for the Fluff Boat? (it's a boat because it sometimes makes you naseous but is always fun!) lol.