Higurashi no Naku Koro ni: Reflection

Following the events of Tsumihoroboshi-hen; Rena returns to Hinamizawa, learning the horrific fate of the village. Broken and alone, she continues where no-one else in Hinamizawa had the chance. A chance to live beyond the fateful June.

Chapter 4-Whispers

"Rena!"

The red haired girl lifted her eyes, setting them upon the boy before her, smiling gently, comfortingly. She didn't return the look; her own expression was one of disorientation.

"Come on, Rena" Keiichi called, extending his hand out to her.

"Keiichi…kun?" Rena murmured, staring in disbelief at his presence before her.

"You don't want to be left behind, do you, Rena?" Keiichi laughed light-heartedly. He didn't have a care in the world, had she returned to the carefree days of live in Hinamizawa?

"Left behind?" Rena asked hastily, her eyes widening while they filled with tears again.

"Rena? What's the matter?" Keiichi asked, lowering his hand to his side. The smile had vanished.

"Keiichi-kun. I was left behind, wasn't I?" Rena asked; her anguish filled her voice, sharp intakes to avoid breaking down before him.

"Left behind?" Keiichi echoed. "I wouldn't leave you behind Rena. Never".

"But…you died in the Great Disaster. What happened? Are we back in Hinamizawa?" Rena inquired, pushing herself forward, the wall behind her losing its use as a support.

"Of course. Look around, it's the classroom" Keiichi called, spreading his arms out to the empty classroom around them. "Did you fall asleep?"

"Where are the others?" Rena called, turning to Keiichi's face again.

"They went home. I said I'd stay here until you woke up" Keiichi answered, descending down onto one knee before her.

"Keiichi…it was all a dream, wasn't it?" Rena asked meekly.

"Yeah. Everything was a dream from the time things started to get bad" Keiichi answered with a nod.

"'From the time things started to get bad'? How do you know what happened?" Rena called, her brow creasing suspiciously.

"Rena, I'm here for you. Don't worry. I'll always be waiting here for you" Keiichi muttered, his eyes had narrowed to the same as that night, the night of their fight.

He shuffled forward; it was like everything was replaying itself before her, inside the school. His arms wrapped themselves around her, he was warm. Rena's eyes widened slightly, this couldn't be a dream, an illusion; he was telling the truth. Her eyelids gradually fell shut and for the first time since the sights she had seen had taken that sinister turn, she smiled.

"Keiichi-kun. I was afraid that we had been separated. Not just you, but everyone" she whispered, glad to be in his embrace once again. "I never want to have a dream like that again. I was scared, I was alone; everyone I cared for was gone. I was with Ooishi and a boy I befriended in the hospital, I could see you in him".

"It's alright, Rena. I'm here, I'll always be here" Keiichi muttered softly, rubbing her head with right hand, all he could do was comfort her, erasing those thoughts was impossible. They were like scars, she would wear them forever.

"Keiichi. Promise me you'll never leave me".

"I promise".

Rena's smile grew, tears of pure joy built in her eyes; she pressed herself against Keiichi. Even if the moment would end, she wanted to drag it out as long as possible and she was well aware that Keiichi wouldn't mind the embrace lasting longer. She felt his hand rest on top of her red hair, stroking her head.

"Rena?"

"Hm?" Rena sounded, looking up at him.

Keiichi's face looked frozen, he hadn't said anything but his voice had still reached her ears; she blinked at him, mystified.

"Keiichi-kun?" she muttered, her expression full of childish puzzlement.

"Rena…"

There it was again; Keiichi's voice, but he hadn't moved his jaws. She rose a single eyebrow just waiting for him to say something from his own mouth. Who else could be speaking in his place with his voice? Her eyes slowly fell shut, reaching forward for his chest, just to rest her head and confirm her reality. Slowly inching and nothing came to her head; she opened her eyes again, staring ahead.

Shadows, darkness, Keiichi had vanished. She lifted her gaze, finding Jou kneeling in front of her; he had been the one beckoning her to return from her dream, to the reality outside of her world. She sighed, lowering her eyes again, falling to the floor in disappointment. Jou frowned recognizing the discontent in her expression; after a moment of deliberation, a hand rose from beside his knee, holding it out before her, smiling consolingly. Rena stared blankly at him, something about him sitting there; reaching for her reminded her of something. Someone. A blurred image in her mind placed itself in his place, her mind had been ruptured since the truth of her hopes and wishes had been realized; even some of her memories, happier memories, had slowly faded into blurs or completely from her mind. Only those that continued to prey on her mind continued to exist without any problem; her time in Hinamizawa at a young age, leaving the village, the argument with her mother, returning to the village, the time before Keiichi, experiencing everyday with her friends without concern, her descent back into madness, upon the roof of the school. Everything vital, a few exceptions, the moment being one of them.

She glanced back up at Jou; instead Keiichi was in his place. That was it! It had been Keiichi reaching for her after she had murdered Rina and Teppei. He had reached his hand out for her to grasp and continue without fear lurking over her about the deaths; they had all held their hands out: Mion, Satoko, Rika. And even after she had grasped those hands, she had slipped in her worry that Mion had moved the bodies to expose her. Why had she doubted her friends? Was she going to doubt Ooishi and Jou? Were they trying to take the place of her friends in comforting her?

"Rena" Jou repeated anxiously.

The hallucinations of the past had faded; Jou knelt alone before her, his smile faded. Rena's expression hadn't changed from the dazed, vacuous look she had worn since before he had entered; her eyes void of vivacity.

"Jou-kun?" she muttered gently.

Accompanying the tone of her voice to the expression she held onto, Jou could only see a young girl, abandoned by fate and torn from everyone she loved. She couldn't be herself anymore; she was scared, unaccompanied in the world, unable to even cry anymore. He knew it all too well. Where she sat, was a memory of himself after the death of his parents.

"Rena, I've been through what you feel. I can help you" he muttered, stretching his hand towards her.

"You…have?" Rena sounded hesitantly.

"I have. Remember what I told you when we met? I lost both of my parents, those that I cared for most in my life" Jou recalled, suppressing his own urge to lament for his parents once again in the face of Rena's own grief. "I want to be able to you overcome your grief. I never recuperated completely from being left alone in this world and I'm sure you won't. But we can be there for each other".

"How can you speak about their passing without crying? Without mourning?" Rena muttered curiously.

"I want to. I really do. Every day I think about them and cry. I cry until I can't shed anymore tears. I regret what they went through, that I could survive" Jou answered, hanging his head slightly, the want to grieve continued to grow, eating away at him. "Every time I see their faces, I want to. Every time I hear their voices. But I know they wouldn't want me to spend the rest of my life that I was given by them crying and feeling sorry, looking back at the past. I know that they would want me to look ahead at the opportunities that they gave me, the dreams they wanted me to fulfil. I feel that when my time comes, they'll come back for me and take me with them, but when they decide the time comes for us to reunite. I'm sure your friends are watching you from where they stand after their passing, waiting to take your hand and embrace you into the other side of existence".

"Other side?"

"Mhm. Life and Death. They're waiting. My parents are waiting. A barrier will stand between us in which we can't touch, but we know they're there. When we die, that barrier will fall and we can cross over. But that barrier, that is their will for us to live. We can't knock it down so easily. If we did, maybe they wouldn't forgive us for doing so".

"It's like…what Keiichi did for me that night" Rena mumbled, her head slowly rising up. "When I succumbed to the Fifth Level of the Hinamizawa Syndrome, I was supposed to scratch at my neck, trying to claw my throat out. But as we fought, after we fought, that possibility was still there. He told me 'Even if you claw your throat out and die, I'll see it through to the end, no matter what'. He was placing a barrier to protect me, that's when I realized that the truth wasn't what mattered; it was him; our friends. I didn't want everything to be about the truth, I wanted to enjoy the time I had with him. So I changed the wager; to his. That he would be like a maid. Like he wished for me to be".

"Rena…That's when you woke up, isn't it?" Jou asked cautiously, unsure whether she was responding to his belief or merely thinking aloud.

"It was" Rena answered, nodding. "After everything, I felt so guilty. I had hurt Rika-chan, I hurt Mi-chan. Keiichi said it was a good start. What good start resulted in him and everyone else dying?"

"He couldn't see that though" Jou replied, tilting his head slightly.

"I know what he meant. Even without himself knowing, he was wishing me luck for the future" Rena continued as if Jou hadn't spoken. "He said there was a start in telling Mi-chan and Shi-chan apart. But after they all died, it was a new start for me. Not a good start, but he would watch over me. He was wishing everyone luck in the future and their luck ran out. They gave their wishes to me when the Great Disaster took away their own. That's how we met. Through their wishes that I wouldn't be alone again like I had been before".

"Their…wishes" Jou repeated over his breath.

"After your parents passed away, you were left alone. After Hinamizawa's passing, I was left alone as well. Keiichi could see that and he wished for us to meet. You're so alike, maybe that's why we were guided together before he could see and wish. He could see himself in you and recognized you as the one to help me, because you were so alike" Rena muttered, staring towards the ground again.

She was murmuring like no-one else was present, like even she didn't understand what she was saying, Jou stared at her certain that a lack of knowledge was far from the truth, she had experienced loss before, madness before, she had seen Oyashiro. She may have had an imagination he could only dream of, but she couldn't have been making up her words instantly while they sat together.

"Jou-kun…you won't try to replace Keiichi-kun, will you?" Rena inquired, breaking the momentary silence.

"Huh?" Jou asked, raising his eyes to meet with her downcast eyes.

"You won't try to stand in his place, will you?" Rena repeated, rephrasing the question.

'How did she know? A few minutes before I came by I said that I would stand in for Keiichi to protect her? Is this what she meant when she spoke of the night she tried to drive Keiichi mad with his memories? That she understood more than he expected' Jou silently debated. 'How would she know my very words though? Not even Ooishi heard me and he was much closer. What is it about her that repeated those words before I could even say them to her?'

"Jou-kun?"

"Rena, I wouldn't stand in Keiichi's place. All I would do is continue that wish you said he passed to me: to stay by your side, to help you, to protect you. That's what you said his wish was and that is the wish I will continue".

"Protect me?" Rena repeated her eyes left the ground, meeting with Jou's face. "He told you to protect me?"

"Told? Well…I've never heard his voice nor seen his face so he couldn't have told me-" Jou answered anxiously.

Jou found himself falling back before he could utter another word, slamming against the floor beneath him. He stared over his chest to where Rena sat, a hand stretched out, she had pushed him away. She didn't show any remorse, in her eyes remained the blank stare, watching as if she didn't know what she was doing, like she wasn't doing anything. She pushed herself to her feet, leaving the strip of sunlight to fall upon the ground inevitably. Jou's eyes raced along her path, the hatchet laid on her bed without restraint.

"Rena!" he called, leaping to his feet and diving ahead of her. His fingers wrapped themselves around the handle of the weapon, turning to her without releasing it, keeping it pinned to the futon. "What are you planning? I won't let you use this to drive away what you don't want".

"What are you saying? I wasn't planning on using it" Rena mumbled neutrally.

"Don't lie, I know you were" Jou protested. He didn't raise his voice, he couldn't; arguing would only make the situation worse. "If you don't want me to protect you, I won't. I'll just care for you".

"Keiichi-kun's wish" Rena muttered.

Jou nodded silently, realising the grip of the hatchet, leaving it against the futon peacefully, he stepped towards Rena; she made no movement. Halting in front of her, he reached his hand out.

"We could always explore Okinomiya if you'd rather. Feel the sun on us rather than let it slip through the glass of a window, you can't really feel it that way" he suggested, managing a meek smile.

Rena nodded silently, Jou's smile grew slowly. He gripped Rena's hand with his own, clutching it firmly, she didn't respond. Instead of focusing on her lack of enthusiasm, he retrieved a tissue from his pocket, holding it out to her.

"You might want to wipe your face of the tears that have fallen, you don't want to look too upset walking on the streets of the city" he added gently.

"Arigato" Rena muttered, taking the tissue from his hand and dabbing her eyes with it.

"I'll tell Ooishi. Do what you want to get ready if there's anything. I'll be back in a few minutes" Jou declared, releasing her hand which then hung limply by her side.

She watched without a smile when Jou made his way out of the room, closing the door once again. Shadows hung over the room once again; was he right? Were these the shadows that she had been living in since the truth had hit her choice? Holding her from the life that she had been given another chance to live? Whatever the reason was for her survival in the Great Disaster through her absence, she had a life to live; that was what her friends were waiting for her to do. To ignore the barrier they stood beyond and stand in the light of the only life she would be given by fate. This was her one life as Ryuuguu Rena and she couldn't waste it mourning. Despite the lives that each of her friends had been given being cut short, they had enjoyed those lives, there wouldn't be another Furude Rika the same, nor a Houjou Satoko, Sonozaki Shion, Sonozaki Mion, Maebara Keiichi. None of them.

"That was is, wasn't it?" she asked, staring at the narrow gap between the curtains, the thin strip of light laying at the edge of her left eye. "That wish wasn't just to meet Jou-kun. But to remind me that I can't spend forever plagued with fear and despair. Oyashiro-sama is done with me. Oyashiro-sama is done with everyone. Only those from Hinamizawa that lived outside the village and survived are those with ties to that god. Once we die out, if there are no more, then Oyashiro-sama dies also. But…why would He want to die when the point of the curse was to remind everyone that there was still a Shrine God?"

A moment of silence passed, not even Jou's excited announcing to Ooishi could be heard, it was expected to have. Rena's eyes widened with a gasp, maybe there was a truth that no-one in Hinamizawa had been aware of. One she may have begun to figure out.

"Oyashiro-sama's Curse…it didn't hit the village through the gas leak, because it had already struck Takano-san and Tomitake. So why punish everyone? Rika was killed a few hours before, but why allow that?" she debated. "Why allow the reincarnation to die and then punish everyone who believes in the words. The gas leak…maybe even the curse…it wasn't Oyashiro-sama. And when I confronted Him…He was warning me to return for my sake as well as my friends'. Oyashiro-sama…is innocent".

She threw open the curtains, staring out at the clear sky, still no darkened clouds like she desired. It was the desire of everyone else to enjoy a pleasant day. Her eyes took in the light, slowly lifting the veil of despair she clung onto. She was still grieving internally; on the outside she pulled a front of her usual self, the girl well known by those around her as the girl who would throw herself at anything cute, declaring she wanted to take her or him or it home. A lively girl; a peaceful girl, a girl with a shadow behind her that she didn't let hang over her head.

After all, she had to step into the role she had shortly before the Great Disaster, she had to explore the incident just as she had Takano's scrapbooks. Okinomiya had started the answers and Hinamizawa finished them. This time, she would learn everything. There had been more going on than she could comprehend since leaving Hinamizawa, she couldn't let so many vital facts pass her by, for the sake of her friends. She would live her life and learn the truth, for their memories. It was the only desire still burning in her, the only thing keeping her from the hollow shell she had been since the realization of the Disaster.

Chapter written to: "Taishoua" (Higurashi KAI ED 1) - anNina

Those memories that stand in front of your eyes. The shadows standing over your shoulder. The light of the day greeting the life. Each path beckons your name.

"Higurashi no Naku Koro ni: Reflection, Chapter 5 - Morning".