a/n: Sorry this took soo long, between crashes and other silly life things its been hard and a long time. ill try to do better, but right now i have no guarentees as i no longer have my own computer and must use the family one, so to sit down for a few hours will be rough, but teh nevertheless this story will continue till the end. trhanks for all the reviews and i hope ur not too angry for this long awaited chapter. :D

The Prince's Marriage

Chapter 11

James POV

I rolled over in bed as I tried to escape the light. Burying my head under the pillows, I could hear the fire dying. Realizing that the maids had not stroked the fire yet, I sat up to do so myself. I felt the cold air hit my bones as I crossed the room, a very unpleasant sensation. When I looked up I was surprised to see Lily sitting on the rug by the fire. She wore no more than a light nightdress and I wondered why she wasn't freezing. She was staring into the fire, not moving, and I wondered what she could possibly bethinking about.

I grabbed a robe from the bathroom and sat down next to her. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. As I looked at her beautiful face I realized I would be more than happy to look at her for the rest of my life- every curve and line of her face seemed to fascinate me. She was gorgeous. I wanted to know everything about her, and I wanted her to know me just as well. I watched her while I waited to hear what she was doing.

When she seemed ready to talk she took a deep breath and looked back at me, returning my unwavering gaze.

"You must be tired James. It's still early," she said softly and I couldn't believe she was thinking about my sleep intake and not her own. It shocked me to realize that I cared more about her getting enough sleep, rather than my own rest.

"Why are you up?" I asked, trying not to sound too domineering.

"I couldn't sleep. It happens sometimes- when I don't want to think about things…when I block them out. I don't know what it is this time though. I don't know what I'm blocking out," Lily admitted.

Nodding my head, I turned towards the fire and tried to figure out what the appropriate response would be to an admission like that. I decided to stick with the most obvious. It seemed to be the best.

"Do you miss your old home?" I asked, trying to be understanding, but inside I couldn't help but worry- I wanted her to consider her home here, with me.

"Some things I do, yes. I miss Olivia. She was my best friend. And I miss my mother and father- even though they were never around, not as much as parents ought to be anyway. I wrote to them today. I can only hope that my mother will respond, but I'm sure Olivia will."

"Do you think that this, here, could ever be your home?" I asked her, trying to sound casual.

I had to know the answer. I needed it, but I didn't want her to know that I was worried.

"Possibly. You could potentially be a very good friend. At home I had Olivia, but there were always boundaries that she tried to stick to. I know you like to remind me there's nothing that I can't share with you, but I don't agree. However, I know you want to be friends and I'm willing to compromise."

My heart soared. I tried to push it back down to its original position in my chest, but it refused to settle. Trying to keep the smile off my face was just as hard, but I finally managed to cover it with a slight cough. I turned back to face her to see she was looking at me, and I gave her a small grin.

"You can ignore what I said about there being nothing between us. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to," I responded.

"I think I know that, and I always have," she said, turning back towards the fire.

We sat there in silence. I had nothing to say so I simply watched her watch the fire and couldn't help but let my smile grow every now and again.

"Please stop," she suddenly said.

"Stop what?" I wondered, totally shocked she'd spoken.

"Stop staring at me. I'm nothing special to look at, so just stop it."

I could tell how my face must've looked. I was utterly astounded! I picked up her hand carefully and rubbed my thumb back and forth across her smooth skin. I hesitated before I answered, trying to get the words absolutely right. I was going to allow her to see inside my head- tell her just how much I thought of her- how much I loved her.

"Lily, you are the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen! You have life, spirit, intelligence, and beauty. You're the most graceful, sweet, caring, and thoughtful girl I've ever met. There's just so much to you! Your face amazes me. The soft curve of your lip, the fire behind you eyes, your soft hair flowing down your back like a red river. You speak to me Lily, in everything you do. Every move you make catches my eye, and I know that you are anything but ordinary. You are everything a woman ought to be!"

I looked up from out entwined hands, she had her eyes looking into the fire, her eyes were watering and all I wanted to do was wipe them away with my sleeve, but I let them sit. Hoping something- anything- of what I said would get through to her. Suddenly she pulled her hand from mine and got up, she ruffled my hair and smiled sadly down at me before leaving the room. I heard the door close quietly and I knew she left me for now, waiting like always.

I felt terrible, I had just been rejected was never a pleasant experience. I sighed as I got up, knowing I wasn't going to be able to sleep after this, and I rang the bell for the maid.

Lily's POV

I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Did James just tell me how much he cared for me? It hadn't seemed like he thought of me as a friend, which was the way I thought of him. Yes, I had enjoyed the kisses we'd shared, but that didn't mean anything- it was nothing more than a kiss. I said he was a good friend and I had meant it, but what I was supposed to do now that I knew for sure he liked me in a different way then I liked him? Maybe this was what I had needed to revaluate. All I knew for sure was that he deserved someone who could love him back.

I wasn't that girl. I wanted true love, not forced love, but was it really forced? I mean, sure, I had hated him at the beginning, but now I could see he was a decent guy. Could I fall in love with him? The way everyone wanted me to?

I worked my way towards the library where I read poem after poem after poem. I wanted to understand love more, and did I want love? Of course everyone wanted love, but was I ready for love? Everyone needed love to fully appreciate life. One poem in particular stuck with me.

So often when I am embracing you,
it seems that you exist in this world
only because of me and I exist because of you.

It's not easy to wander in this world
and not lose one's way,
but the greatest happiness of all
is in giving joy to one's beloved.

And if the king can have his throne,
and if the bird can have his spring nest,
and God can have his heaven,
then I, my sweetheart, I can have you

I wanted this. I wanted to feel loved, and I knew James was offering that even if he had not said it aloud. I knew he could and would treat me as his sweetheart. He'd take care of me if ever I was sick, he'd sit by me if ever I became ill, and he would try to make me happy. I had no idea how I knew all this, but I knew James was offering me his love and, honestly, who was I to refuse? I was married to him after all and married people come to love each other in different aspects in time. I would love James one day, and as for now I wouldn't deny my love from him. I would be my best for him, because that was what he deserved.

I would care for him. I would allow him access to any part of me. I realized how difficult I had been in keeping him and myself from happiness. It was time I sacrificed more for him, as I know he was more than willing to sacrifice anything for me.

I made my way to the dining hall for lunch, and when I arrived it was to see that James was already there. I smiled at him widely. There was shock on his face at first but he quickly composed himself and, like always, he jumped to ready my plate. I smiled knowing now why he did this.

"Anything specific for you today?" He wondered.

"Anything you pick is fine," I answered softly.

I couldn't seem to take my eyes off of him all through lunch. He fascinated me, with his giving nature, and I sighed. I wished more than anything that I could love him fully from that moment on instead of waiting for it. It took me only a moment to realize that a part of me did love him. He was a fantastic person and as a friend I could love him, for now.

Lunch was a happy affair where wine flowed, and conversation ran smoothly. We drank tea in the garden afterwards, before James departed for his study to get some paperwork done. I watched him go before I went back to our chambers.

Waiting on the bed were fresh undergarments, and a pretty sundress. Although it was almost winter, I had asked the maid to set this out for me. Tonight was going to be it. I would allow him to touch me.

This wasn't just for him, it was for me as well. I was curious as to how it would feel. I had heard it was painful, but pleasurable at the same time. This was a concept I couldn't grasp- how could something feel good and bad at the same time? Besides, James had waited long enough. Most men, even gentlemen, would have taken her innocence the first night, with or without permission. James deserved this and I was determined to give him what he deserved.

When it was time for dinner I went down in my green sundress and fresh garments. I had freshly bathed, added some rouge to my cheeks for color. It took me more than a few calming breaths before I could enter the dining hall, my hands shaking slightly with nervousness. His eyes sparkled as I walked in, and I could sense him looking down at my inappropriately shown legs. I smiled, and he served my dinner. Once again the conversation between us ran smoothly.

All too soon dinner was finished, we drank our tea, and I couldn't delay the inevitable any longer. I knew the longer I waited the more my nerves would build. With this in mind, I walked across the room and took his hand gently in mine before placing a gentle kiss upon his wedding ring. He was shocked at this, but a grin appeared on his face nonetheless.

I pulled him towards me, and he came without complaint. I walked towards the door, pulling him by his hand, which was still enclosed in my own. We walked quietly to our chambers, without a word uttered. Once the doors were closed I walked into the middle of the room, and he followed. I dropped his hand, and as we stood two feet apart, I realized he wasn't overly sure what I wanted. the one time I wished he could make this less awkward, he was clueless. With more confidence than I actually felt, I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly. I reached up on my tip toes and gently placed a kiss on his jaw, working up towards his mouth. His reaction was slow, but when he finally realized what was going on he pulled me into a deep kiss, grabbing my hair in a gentle twist...

He stopped kissing my mouth, and nipped gently at my neck. I knew right then and there that I wanted him. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything. I wasn't sure why I had been so clueless, but the kiss was melting every resistance I'd managed to think up. His left hand came down from my tangled hair and grabbed my breast roughly. I moaned, and it seemed to only provoke him more.

He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist so I could feel his erection through the thin fabric of my clothes. He lifted my dress to find my undergarments, and he removed these with ease and a carefulness that I wished he would abandon. I wasn't a china doll.

I held my breath as his mouth took one of my nipples. His tongue licked and sucked expertly, making me cry out his name quite by mistake. He walked me backwards until we fell backwards onto the bed and he hesitated for only a moment before his mouth returned to my breast.

I threw back my head as one of his calloused fingers stroked the nub of my womanhood and then plunged inside of me. He was losing some of his patience, the movements of his finger becoming rougher and rougher, and I liked it. His mouth left my breast then, and he was kissing my lips again. I moaned into his mouth as he shoved a second finger into me, and I lost control, needing to feel more than just his fingers.

"James, please," I cried, pleading.

I didn't know exactly what I wanted him to do, but I knew I wanted something, and he would cure the throbbing ache that was now tormenting me.

He met my eyes with his own and I could see he was willing to stop, that he would wait for me if I had changed my mind, but I shook my head and grabbed at the waist of his pants. I felt his fingers pull out of me, leaving me longing for the feel of him again. I watched him struggling to undo his pants hastly and pull them down, then his hand stroke the length of erection before he positioned himself over me. The head of his manhood circled my wet center.

I heard him groan, and I looked up at him. My green eyes met his hazel for only a moment before he pressed himself inside of me. My eyes teared up for a moment, and I bit my lip. It hurt, but only for a moment. As the pain dulled away, I once again felt the familiar heat of our hips pressed together, and him buried deep inside of me.

James thrust in and out, and I could not stop myself from crying out his name in my ecstasy. I held fast to him, holding his shoulders tightly with my hands, trying my best to meet each his thrusts with my own. He groaned into my ear as both of our breathing became rough and raged. I hit my climax first and he followed not far behind.

Afterwards, we laid in our bed, both of James' arms wrapped around me, and never had I felt safer, more content, or satisfied in all of my life. I now understood what had been meant by 'pain and pleasure.'

Feeling drowsy, neither of us spoke, or moved. We simply fell asleep the way we were, wrapped in each others arms, our limbs and torso's stuck together with a mixture of need and sweat.

Throughout the night one of us would wake and start it all up again, and I wished this could have happened a month ago. I felt free and doubted I would ever get out of bed again. When James looked at me, I could see the twinkling happiness in his eyes and I knew what had put it there. I had made my husband happy, and in the process, myself as well. Not a bad day's work, if I may so say myself.

*Poem- My sweetheart by Jonathan Townsend