That's Why You're Beautiful

Chapter Four

I think I just rightfully earned my award for 'Awkward Moment of the Year.' Or at the very least, a nomination.

I couldn't quite manage any words for a long time because flashbacks kept flickering in front of my eyes. It had been such a long time ago, yet everything now seemed clear in my mind. This was bad... Really bad.

Luckily, Alice brought me out of the shock with a chirpy comment. "Good thing you've met the birthday boy! Saves any more introductions."

I stared at her like an idiot and she gestured behind me. The guy whose name I already couldn't remember flashed me a big grin.

"Emmett! It is his party, after all," Alice explained, laughing a little.

I raised my eyebrows, managing a small smile. "Oh. Well... happy birthday, Emmett."

He laughed. "Thanks. You can buy me a drink next time. I'm not paying all night."

I frowned, feeling irritated at his nerve. "Oh, can I? We'll see about that."

I was suddenly distracted by Alice nudging Jasper suspiciously. She had a strange look on her face, but Jasper still looked full of shock. He caught my eye and quickly glanced at the floor, blinking wildly.

"So, uh, Bella? Can I please have a quick word?" Alice asked. "I won't tear you away from Emmett for too long, I promise..." I nodded, heading out with her. On the way, I embarrassingly brushed against Jasper who looked completely and permanently bewildered. I was going to send him an apologetic look but he had rushed off, talking busily to someone at the bar.

A few moments later, Alice and I stopped outside and she smiled shyly at me.

"So, what do you think?"

I closed my eyes; I really was in a complete daze tonight.

"I'm sorry... I don't really understand what you're on about."

She rolled her eyes. "Jasper!" She said this as though it was completely obvious. "What do you think of him?"

I immediately felt a wave of nausea pass through me. Was this going to be the start of a web of lies? Then again, thinking of all the things I was already keeping from Alice, a few more lies wouldn't hurt, surely?

"He seems very... nice," I eventually said. Alice looked disappointed. "Nice? Just... nice?"

I leaned heavily against the wall. "He's great Alice. I think he's the right one for you."

She grinned happily. "Really? What makes you think that?"

I exhaled. "Um... well he seems very protective of you... that's always a good sign."

"Yeah," she sighed dreamily. Well, at least she was happy. "Although he did seem a bit shocked when he first saw you, Bella. Have you met before?"

My eyes bulged; Alice's close and somewhat scary observations could sometimes be a pain.

"Really? I... I don't think so." I tried to sound nonchalant and it seemed to work because Alice moved on from the subject. "Another important thing... you seem to be getting on well with Emmett! Did you see him looking at you all the time?"

I really couldn't deal with anymore of this. Not tonight.

"No, I didn't. He's... he's not my type anyway."

"But Bella, I thought you were pretty flexible. Y'know. Considering what you do and everything." Her comment was enough to make me flip and the red haze descended.

"Alice, that makes me sound like a piece of trash, like I'm easy or something. How do you think that makes me feel?"

I stormed back inside without waiting for her reply and sat by myself with my head in my hands. I didn't like the idea of Alice having such a low opinion of me. No, I hated it. It made me feel worthless.

Then again, perhaps I was the equivalent to a pile of trash. That's what many people would think of me if they knew what I did.

I was interrupted by a large shadow looming over me and I glanced up to see Emmett once again. I wanted to snap at him, but didn't have a chance because he hurled me upright with one hand. I gave him a glare as he dragged me through the crowds of people.

"What are you doing?" I shouted above the music. "Emmett!"

"You looked unhappy, so I thought we could dance," he slurred and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Gosh, it didn't take much to get him drunk. Either that, or he'd been seriously knocking them back while we were gone.

His strong arms gripped my body and I didn't like how trapped I felt. Everyone around us seemed oblivious and I just wanted to cry out; I really didn't feel like it at that moment. He swung me around and laughed stupidly, shaking moronically to the music. The disco lights around me began to blind my eyes and I felt sick as Emmett spun me about, seeming to ignore my protests.

Suddenly, everything became still and I saw Emmett staring at someone over my shoulder with a look of clear annoyance. I turned around and the lights flashed onto the person's face. I quickly realised that it was Jasper.

"Excuse me, Emmett, but I don't think Bella wants to dance with you at the moment," he said in a voice full of authority. "Let her go."

Emmett paused and suddenly let go of me before rushing off deeper into the crowd. I rubbed my eyes and felt Jasper's hand on my shoulder.

"Let's sit down." He ushered me towards a seat. "I think we need to talk anyway."

It felt like everyone in the room should have been staring at us, but they carried on dancing obliviously. I could see that Emmett was busy fondling someone else and I was worried by the wave of fear I felt whenever I caught his eye. He certainly didn't look happy with me.

That fear turned into a wave of discomfort as my gaze turned to Jasper, who was sat rigidly by my side. I suddenly felt very, very tired by it all. This day had seemed neverending. I sighed and took a deep breath.

"Jasper, I-"

My attempt was interrupted. "Bella, please can we forget about what happened before? I don't think it would be wise to dwell on something that's clearly in the past."

"I couldn't agree more," I replied, full of relief. "I'm sure that... well, you're happy with Alice now."

He nodded, meeting my stare. "Yes. I... I was in a very low place when I visited you. No offence or anything. I don't want to imply that I was using you."

I shook my head. "Isn't that what I'm for anyway?"

He looked uncomfortable, so I hastily changed the subject.

"So, how do you know Emmett?"

He relaxed a little. "I used to go to school with him. We were recently reunited at some school thing." His gaze moved to the people dancing. "He's not usually this wild... only really after he's had a few drinks."

I raised my eyebrows. "Wild is definitely the correct word. He was like an animal."

He laughed. "Yes. I agree."

We were silent for a while before Jasper suddenly asked, "Do you still... y'know. Are you still a -?"

I nodded and so did he. I could feel the tension prickling between us.

"I'm not proud of it," I said quietly. "But I feel like it's all I can do."

"What makes you think that?" he inquired. "I'm sure you're intelligent enough to secure a job where you're fully appreciated..."

I shook my head. "It's complicated."

He pondered something for a moment. "You look like a teacher to me. Perhaps that could be a new career path?"

I nearly snorted. "What, with my history? If they knew, I wouldn't even get considered, yet alone given the job." My thoughts turned towards Edward teaching Physics and I shuddered at the memory of the scenario earlier.

He cleared his throat. "So... does Alice know?

"Yeah. I think she's okay with it, though," I replied carefully.

His expression remained the same and it looked like he was thinking about saying something else. My curiosity, however, got the better of me and I asked him, "What do you do?"

"I'm a musician. Not really professionally, I just play in the clubs and bars with my band."

My eyebrows raised. "Really? Wow."

"Didn't Alice mention it to you? She always goes on about it..."

I laughed. "No, she didn't mention it. Although she talks about you a lot." I suddenly thought about me snapping at her earlier and felt a stab of guilt. Perhaps I was a little out of order...

"On several occasions she's requested that I write a song for her," he chuckled. "But it's difficult... there aren't any words I can use to sum up how I feel."

I smiled at him. He really was the perfect gentleman. Romantic, too. "Do you play any instruments?"

He nodded. "Yeah, the guitar. Ever since I was five, it came naturally to me. How about you? Do you play anything?"

I laughed. "Does the triangle count?" He smirked and I frowned. "Actually, sometimes I can play a tune with empty bottles. Not that I'm an alcoholic or anything."

A small smile made its way onto his face. "That's certainly a talent."

It was amazing how natural it felt to talk to Jasper. Our past really did seem like it was... well, in the past now. Hopefully, we'd become good friends in the future. I couldn't think about this for too long, though, because someone suddenly rushed up behind me, shouting at Jasper.

"You're Alice's boyfriend, right?" she asked hurriedly. Jasper nodded warily and was suddenly pulled upwards.

"There's something wrong with Alice, she's fainted in the bathroom!" Before she could finish, Jasper had rushed off and I called after him, trying to remain calm.

"Jasper! Jasper, wait for me! Jasper!"

I tried to edge past the crowds but was stopped suddenly by somebody gripping my arm. I turned around and saw that it was, once again, Emmett. I would have hit him if he didn't look so damn intimidating. He reminded me of a cruel school bully, manipulating everybody around him.

"Bella, you're gonna dance with me now," he ordered, yanking me away. I looked helplessly towards the door and saw a glimpse of Jasper's figure flying outside. It was strange; now that I was out of his presence I felt horribly vulnerable. He was the type of person who provided an instant sense of security.

"No, Emmett!" I cried. "Please, I need to see Alice!"

It was as if my voice was a mere whisper, because he continued pulling me. I was forced past the dance floor and, to my surprise, we headed outside into the chilly air.

I was beginning to get very worried at that point.

"Emmett, please I…"

My pleas were cut off when his large hand clamped over my mouth. I screeched as he pushed me up against the damp wall with a considerable force, causing my head to whack against it with a dull thud.

His breath was saturated with the stench of alcohol and my heart was beating furiously. What was he doing? Or did I really want to know?

"Bella," he grinned, but his smile didn't fool me; it looked more like a sneer. I glanced around desperately and noticed that the place was completely deserted; he had somehow dragged me into an alleyway. I'd been too scared before to really notice my surroundings.

Now that I did look around, I saw that there were dirty puddles on the floor and bins in the distance. It was dark, and only the faint moonlight illuminated Emmett's terrifying face. I didn't like the somehow hungry look in his eyes.

Oh God.

His grip on my mouth didn't ever slacken; it seemed to become tighter as he forced himself closer to me. I had no room to breathe, and a pain was slowly spreading across the back of my head.

If I shouted, would anyone hear me? Or would he become so angry at me for doing so that I'd soon regret it? I shivered involuntarily.

"Now that Jasper's out of my way, I can have my way with you," he laughed, placing his other hand on my arm. The way he spat his name, full of contempt, nobody would have believed that they were friends.

That didn't matter, though. I was having trouble breathing and his voice made goosebumps spread across my skin. There had only ever been one time before in my life where I'd felt this scared, and it made me sick to think of it.

He suddenly removed his hand from my mouth and I tried to scream, but my throat felt raw. Tears streamed down my cheeks, yet he just smirked horribly.

"Don't worry, Bella, I'll make you feel all better."

Before I could respond, his lips crushed against mine and his hands were on either side of my head placed on the wall, giving me no room to move. His power was unfightable and I prayed that someone would come along and help me.

But who did I have, in all honesty? Alice had collapsed, and Jasper was preoccupied with helping her. Besides them, there was nobody near me who cared enough to help.

That thought brought me to tears as he continued to attack me.