That's Why You're Beautiful

Chapter Eight

I awoke the following morning, frowning to myself. I'd just had the strangest dream and couldn't shake it from my thoughts. It was so vivid and... well, to put it simply, it involved Edward. That was what made it odd. And a little worrying.

I turned towards Alice, who was now bandaged up heavily and sleeping quietly. The operation had gone very smoothly according to the doctors, and in a few days they were going to perform some more tests to see whether any of the cancer had spread any further. I think that was what we were all dreading the most, but I didn't need to think about that right now.

I saw that Jasper was awake and smiled at him. He seemed a lot brighter today.

"She looks better, doesn't she?"

I chewed my lip. "Yeah. I guess so."

It was at this moment that Alice stirred and blinked a few times. She looked around in confusion before setting her eyes on me. She frowned heavily and then peeked over at Jasper.

"Um... w-who is she?"

My body went cold and I struggled to compose myself. "It's me, Bella," I whispered. There was no response, so I prompted her further. "Your best friend..."

She looked at me just like I was a stranger. "Why are you here?"

I glanced at Jasper in desperation; the helpless look was reflected right back at me.

"You remember Bella, don't you, Alice?" he said calmly. "You've known her for years... Bella Swan?"

She shook her head slowly. "She's... I, I don't know her!"

I placed my hand over my mouth and stared at the floor. I heard the door opening but didn't look up; I was too shocked. It felt like I'd been winded, like the past few months had been worth nothing and were slowly erasing away before my eyes.

"I see you've woken up."

The voice belonged to Dr Cullen and I could imagine him smiling warmly at Alice. I couldn't meet his face, though. "How are you feeling?"

Alice didn't respond, so Jasper asked, "Is memory loss normal? Alice can't remember Bella."

I could feel their gazes on my face when Dr Cullen answered. "That does usually happen; there's no need to worry. You'll find that your memory will soon come back as the time passes."

I didn't say anything; I'd only be truly happy when Alice recognised me.

"I don't want her in here," Alice said, and her voice was cold. I glanced up at her and my throat turned raw; she was addressing me like I was an imposter of some sort, saying my name with disgust.

"I don't know who she is, Jasper! Please, make her l-leave!"

I saw Dr Cullen looking incredibly uncomfortable and he swiftly left the room. I'd probably be following him any moment now.

"Alice," I breathed, and my voice was barely audible. "You must know me..."

"I don't!" she snapped. "Please... please just go!"

I looked at Jasper and he shook his head sympathetically. "Maybe it's best... come back later. She might remember then."

I took a lingering look at Alice before standing up and heading towards the door. When I made it outside, I sat down on the wall and cried until my body ached.

I arrived home twenty minutes later and sat down on the sofa with my knees pulled up to my chest. It was eerily silent and I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. It felt wrong being here without Alice, like the place was missing something.

I twisted my phone around in my hands, alarmed by the urge of who I suddenly wanted to call. I sighed and rummaged around for the paper in my pocket, before typing it into my mobile and quickly ringing the number.

It rang three times before Edward answered. "H-Hello?"

"Hi," I said quietly. "It's Bella." My voice cracked and I hoped that he hadn't noticed.

"Is something wrong?" he asked and I winced. Maybe it was obvious, then.

"Um... yes. Yes there is. I was actually wondering if you could come over..." I bit my lip awkwardly. "I just really, really need someone to talk to, selfish as that sounds."

There was a long pause before he answered. "Alright, Bella. Where do you live?"

After quickly giving him my address he said, "Okay, I'll be right over."

"Thanks," I mumbled, before snapping my phone shut and wondering what the hell I had just done.

As I waited for him to arrive, I sat back against the sofa and thought back to the dream I'd had of him last night...

I was in the hospital waiting room in the middle of the night, when suddenly Edward appeared by my side, drenched from the rain outside. His hair stuck to his face and the water dripped off his skin. He held out a hand, which I automatically and unthinkingly took, and he led me into the cafe; it was shut and eerily empty.

He closed the doors behind us and all I could hear was the steady sound of his breathing. He looked at me in an oddly intense way through his glasses and murmured, "Take a seat, Bella."

I swallowed and did so, watching as he sat down beside me. His coat looked completely saturated with water and I watched him slowly unbuttoning it and hanging it over the seat. Underneath he wore a dark cardigan with a blue shirt and I dragged my eyes up to meet his gaze.

"Why are we here?" I whispered quietly, feeling something prickling all around us. Tension.

He smiled. "I wanted to do something and couldn't wait any longer."

Unlike it was normally, his voice was commanding and it sent shivers through my body.

"And what's that?" I managed to reply.

He leaned over towards me and I felt his warm breath on my face.

"This."

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud banging on the door and I blinked several times, standing up. The dream had been really strange; I'd actually been attracted to Edward...

That couldn't be right. No, not so soon after David. I shuddered and pulled myself together, before opening the door and seeing Edward there.

His eyebrows were pulled together a little, making him seem a little troubled and confused. But, apart from that, he looked the same as usual, and I stepped aside to let him in. He smiled shyly before walking past me and standing on the spot.

"Nice p-place," he complimented and I muttered my thanks.

"Take a seat if you like. Do you want a drink?"

"Um, I'll just have a water please."

After quickly filling the glass, I walked over and handed it to him, then took a seat on the opposite sofa. Had it really been such a great idea to want to pour out all my problems to him? It was a bit late to regret it now, though.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I realised that he was wearing the same coat as in my dream. Argh, the buttons... I shouldn't be thinking like this!

"So, what's the problem, Bella?" he asked, setting his empty glass down on the table. I met his eyes and took in a deep breath.

"It's Alice," I replied quietly. "She... she can't remember me."

I heard him exhale. "Isn't that n-normal after a big operation? She'll probably remember you later."

I didn't feel comfortable with how close to tears I felt. It really wouldn't be a good idea to cry around him. "I know but... it's all been too much. I don't know if I can c-cope."

To my surprise, he stood up to sit by my side. I sniffed and rubbed at my eyes.

"Bella, I'm sure you'll b-both get through this," he soothed. "It must all be a little overwhelming at the m-moment."

I turned to face him. "It is."

He nodded in understanding. "Well you can always talk to me." He passed me a tissue. "It really will make you feel b-better."

I smiled weakly at his kindness. "Thank you. That means a lot."

He looked at me for a long time and I was alarmed at how tempted I was to suddenly tell him about everything else. I just had to tell somebody... maybe he was the right person. It was all bottling up inside me and any moment now I would burst under the strain.

"There's also something else I'm worried about," I found myself saying and he waited patiently. "J-Just over a year ago, I got married." His expression shifted and I watched him carefully.

"His name was D-David and he was a wonderful, brilliant man." I smiled at the memory of his face. "But..." I paused at the sudden pain. "But he was m-murdered when we were on our honeymoon."

I saw Edward tense in my peripheral vision but kept my gaze on my lap. My hands were twisting together as I tried to keep myself together. "There w-was a robber who stabbed him... and they n-never caught him."

I hadn't realised I'd started crying, so I viciously wiped away my tears. Speaking all this aloud really did make it seem so final and it just made me want to cry even more.

He really was gone.

I suddenly felt Edward's arm around my shoulder and gratefully cuddled up against him. I didn't care that it felt a little awkward, it was just nice relishing in the warmth that his hug gave me.

His shirt was soft to lean against and I inhaled it's pleasant just-washed scent. He relaxed a little and I could feel his breath on the top of my hair. It was all very... nice.

I eventually stopped sniffing and sat back up, wiping at my face.

"S-sorry about all that," I said. "You've come here voluntarily and all I've done is moan."

He shook his head. "Don't apologise. I n-never realised you had such a... uh, troubled past."

I didn't reply to that and saw him lean forward towards me.

"I don't know if my father told you this but I had a serious car accident a few years ago," he began.

"Yeah, he did tell me."

"I was in my car when a motorcyclist collided with me," he explained. "I lost control and c-crashed against a tree, crushing my arm. I nearly lost it in the end. Luckily, the doctors managed to save me."

I listened with interest as he told me about his hospital experience.

"I had a complete personality change during my time at the hospital, it was really w-worrying," he continued. "My sight g-gradually went, hence the glasses." He pointed and I admired his lovely green eyes. I'd never really appreciated them before. "I became interested in completely different things, some of which you don't see as a good thing." To my surprise, he grinned. "I haven't forgotten the textbook incident."

I blushed. "Yeah... sorry about that."

He laughed. "It was quite funny, really. Almost like you were trying to dispose of a dead body."

I snorted like a moron and we were silent for a while. Edward sipped tentatively at his water.

"I'm glad we t-talked today," he said after a while. "I really do hope you're feeling better."

I crumpled up the tissue I'd been destroying in my hands and aimed it at the bin. "I do. Thank you, Edward." I threw it and it landed limply on the floor, a few inches away from its destination.

"Your aim hasn't improved, though," he joked and I nudged him playfully.

Where was the other Ednerd? It was like he was a completely different person...

And I actually liked him.

I enjoyed his company now; he wasn't an irritating nerd, he was somebody who I could confide in.

It's weird how things had changed.

I was surprised to see him standing up. "Um, well, I've got to get back to w-work."

I nodded. "I'm glad you've still got a job."

He frowned. "Have you, uh, given your's up?"

I rubbed my forehead awkwardly. "I'm not sure. I sort of... snapped at my boss. And wanted to murder her."

He chuckled. "We all have days when we want to do that."

I sighed. "I think it was the right thing to do, though. Your father clearly didn't approve."

"Do you really care about what he thinks?"

I thought to myself before answering. "Yeah, I think I do. It makes it all seem real."

He nodded for a moment and then smiled. "Well if you do quit then I'm v-very pleased for you. It's a bold m-move."

I didn't know why that fact made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but it did.

He headed towards the door. "I hope your friend recovers speedily. You can always c-call me if you need someone to talk to."

I was staggered by the overwhelming urge to hug him.

So I did.

"Thank you, Edward," I said, and he eventually put his arms around me, hugging me back. It felt nice being buried against his chest... almost like I was protected again. His hands rubbed my back in a soothing circle and I closed my eyes, savouring the feeling. We eventually pulled away and I smiled awkwardly.

"See you again, sometime," he said and I nodded, holding open the door. I watched him make his way down the stairs, luckily without tripping, and finally closed the door when he was out of sight.

Then, I felt guilty.

I thought of David. What would he think of me? Spending time with another man so soon after his death...

I frowned to myself. It wasn't like I was doing anything wrong with Edward. Nothing had happened. We were friends.

I rolled my eyes again at my selfishness. I had a friend in hospital to see...

That is if she actually remembered who I was.