Chapter 5
Alexa kept watch for several hours allowing Halfdan some much needed sleep. During the time she contemplated her situation. It seemed so unrelealistic to her that she was married, at least in theory to the man lying beside her. He was so much more than she'd ever dreamed, even though he was young. Much younger than Jacob was. She didn't spare her ex much thought though. That was another life. She did wonder about her mother and father though and whether or not they'd be notified if she was missing. She looked again at Halfdan's sleeping face and noted how young he looked in his sleep. He looked older when he was awake. His face was so sweet in sleep, so relaxed without any of the pain and loss that it held during the daytime hours. She wondered absently what he dreamed about. The wind riffled through his dark hair and she had to stiffle the urge to run her fingers through it. It looked like it hadn't been cut in a long time, but at the same time it didn't look bad on him really. Some guys back home in her time would pay big bucks to have their hair cut like he had his styled. He'd told her he was trying to let his hair grow out the way that nobles grew their hair out. She tried to imagine him with long hair. She wasn't sure she liked it all that much. Maybe with it just touching his shoulders. That would look good she thought.
"What are you contemplating so deeply?" Halfdan asked catching her by surprise.
"Oh, you're awake?"
"Yes, and what are you thinking about? You have that wrinkle between your brows that you seem to get. And your nose is kind of puckered. You are contemplating something."
"Your hair actually."
"I didn't know my hair was that fascinating." Halfdan actually let out a chuckle that made her smile. "I know it looks ugly, but really..."
"No, no..it's just that you said you were going to grow it out and I don't know if I'll like you in long hair."
"Well, that's just the style all the nobles wear it in. You don't want me looking like a slave boy all my life now do you?"
"No, I didn't say that. Just maybe don't grow it really long. Maybe just to your shoulders or something."
"We'll see how long it gets on its own, okay?" he replied getting up and dusting himself off from his slumbers. Halfdan quickly embraced Alexa hugging her to him.
"Do I get a morning kiss?" he asked.
"Yes, you get a morning whatever you want,"Alexa replied huskily leaning into him.
"That sounds inviting," Halfdan leaned down and took her lips in his, kissing her with all he had in him. Her lips were soft under his and he let his own freely explore hers. It felt so good to have someone with him. Not just a companion, but someone who truly loved him. Someone who wanted to be with him above all others. He'd never understood the whole idea of marriage before, possibly because he hadn't come from the union of a successful one, but now he was getting the concept. This was what he'd wanted his whole life. What his mother had wanted from his father Hrorik and had been broken hearted when she'd never received. She'd wanted a real family and now he'd wanted a real family too. All he had to do was win back the means of supporting that family and he'd have all he could ever want in the world. But at this very moment he was a happy man.
"Are you going to teach me to fight today?" Alexa asked when they finally broke apart and began the walk back towards where he'd tied Julia up the night before.
"Yeah, I suppose I'm going to have to teach you to fight if you are going to defend yourself. You keep getting in trouble and it seems like I just can't stop it," he deftly moved out of the way as she moved to swipe at him mockingly.
"We need to find a better place to practice though. It's too woodsy here. We need to find a clearing somewhere. We'll find someplace today. First we've got to get to Julia and then we need to get something to eat, then we'll worry about getting you some warrior practice, okay?"
"Yes, sire," Alexa said mockingly blowing him a kiss. He grabbed her around her middle and pulled her to him as they walked the rest of the way, stumbling and bumbling over tree stumps. The going got rough as they retraced her steps from the night before.
"I don't know how you ran the way you did through the underbrush like this last night?" Halfdan said shaking his head.
"Yeah, well, I was upset and crying and not thinking too much about it. I think I'm going to have some scars for my effort," Alexa said, stopping.
She pulled up the hem on her dress showing him the many scraps and cuts on her upper legs where her tall boots hadn't been able to protect her, nor had her dress. Even her dress had cuts in it in places.
"My poor beautiful dress is going to have to be mended, I believe and it's all my fault. I'm so so sorry I ran. I promise I won't run away from you again. No matter what. I won't run unless you tell me explicitly to run okay. I learned my lesson yesterday." Alexa said looking into his deep eyes.
Halfdan swallowed, biting his lip. How on earth did the gods gift him with such a woman?A woman who didn't even need to be corrected. She was willing to correct herself and offer up apologies when one wasn't even needed. It was he who needed to aplogize to her for not protecting her. He hadn't blamed her at all for running. She was ashamed of not being a fighter. That was all he could surmise from the situation. He silently thanked Odin for giving him such a fighter of a woman because he would need her in the days that would come. Genevieve had been a good woman. A woman of virtue and strength of will, but she had not necessarily been a fighter. Only when pushed to the very limits of her being would she fight and then he wasn't sure she would make the right decisions. She would always need someone to care for her. Alexa wouldn't. Alexa seemed intent on making this marriage more of a team effort. She wanted to carry her own weight. Even though Halfdan was used to women being more or less 'in their place' he'd been raised by a strong mother and recognized what a strong woman could be like. He supposed that's why none of the wilting flowers he'd grown up with had applealed to him in any way. This was what he'd been looking for in a life partner. Someone just as strong and gutsy as him. Someone who would stand up and be loyal and do right. Halfdan turned to Alexa gulping back the tears that his thoughts had brought to mind.
"You remind me of my mother, my valkyrie. You are my angel you know that. Like the angels that come to take you to Valhalla when you die. If I died tomorrow I think I'd be mad because there could be no more lovlier valkyrie in heaven than you that could possibly take me on. I'd be disappointed you know. And I'd never do what my father did. My father was so selfish. He asked my mother to go with him on his death ship, just so he could have her with him in death when he wouldn't even marry her and make her his own rightfully in life."
"Oh Halfdan, you've had so much wrong done to you in life. I'm sorry. I hope maybe I can help make the rest of your life better than the first half has been." Alexa leaned up and captured his lips in as passionate of a kiss as she could, while she felt him hug her to him.
"I'm in love with you so much," she heard him whisper.
"And I love you as well, my Halfdan," she replied.
"Sit down, there on that tree that's fallen." he said after they'd broken apart for air.
"What?"
"I want to see how bad your legs are scratched?"
"Oh, it's not that bad!" Alexa quickly replied wishing she'd never mentioned it.
"Sit!" she was quickly learning that when Halfdan gave an order, it was much like her father at home You obeyed.
She found a somewhat dry place on the log to sit and Halfdan kneeled before her, slowly pulling her gown which he did note had torn places all along the sides up over her lovely knees and up to her hips. He hated to admit that just doing that was enough to turn him on a bit. He wondered if something was wrong with him. It was as though everytime he touched his wife, or looked at her a certain way, or that she looked at him a certain way he could feel his body become heavy with lust. He simply wanted her all the time and it didn't stop. He made her straighten out her left leg and pull off the black riding boot. Above the line, where the boot ended was a bright line of scars and 3 deep cuts left from branches that had cut deep into the soft flesh of her thigh. One was still bleeding. He did the same with her right leg. There were only 2 deep cuts on it but one of the gashes was much longer on the back of her leg and it was also still seeping. Halfdan shook his head, then laid it down on her lap. He wanted to cry. He really did, but he couldn't look weak in front of her. He was hurting though. Why hadn't she told him about this? Why had she just gotten up and walked this last mile in obvious pain, not letting him at least try to clean her wounds and bind them up. Hell, he would have tried to carry her, if she was in too much pain to walk. This was ridiculous. He felt her hands fluffing through his hair, carressing him. It felt just too good. He wasn't mad at her, he was just hurting. It was as though he failed her at every juncture.
"Why didn't you tell me you had this many cuts? You had to have been in pain? You have to be in pain now?" he whispered.
"Because it's my own fault. I was silly to run. We've already covered this. I was taught as a child to take responsibility for my mistakes. This was my mistake. I didn't want to burden you with it til we could get back to Julia and then maybe get somewhere there was water and maybe then we could clean me up."
"Don't you understand that they needed to be bound up now!"
"Yes, infection and everything."
"What's infection?"
"Oh, infection is...."Alexa stumbled at a loss..How did you describe the number one killer of people in his time period.
"Infection is disease. It's something we discovered in my time. It's what kills people when they get sick. When people get cuts and then you see that yellow stuff that forms up...that's infection. When they lose a limb from it...that's infection and gangrine. Sometimes infection gets inside people and makes them cough and it gets in their lungs and such. It kills them in that way."
"Yes, it happens every winter. I just didn't know there was a name for it."
"Well, there is an actual cure for it back home. We have what we call antibiotics. Sadly I don't have any here with me. I'd give anything for a tube of Neosporin right now to put on these cuts. But, if you can put water on things and purify it, that will sometimes ward off the infection as well. Actually, some whisky would work too. The alcohol in it would purify the wound."
"Then we have to get you near some water. We have to get those cuts cleaned. I don't want those cuts 'infected' as you call it. We'll see about getting some alcohol when we get near a town if the cuts get to looking infected." Halfdan said lifting up his head determinedly.
She watched as he began to lift her up off the log.
"What in the name of three hells do you think you are doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing girl? We haven't got very far at all to go and I'm carrying you. I'm not risking your legs. Now, you just carry your boots there. Lean your head back against me."
"I will not. There is no way you can carry me. I weigh too much."
"Are you saying I'm weak?" Halfdan snorted in disgust.
"No, I'm saying I'm a fat woman."
Halfdan sighed. "Alexa, when we get home, or even in town, remind me to show you some fat women. You are perfect. Now please just, as you say it, "shut up" and let me carry you."
And he did, bridal style, for a good fourth of a mile until they reached the juncture of the forest where he'd tied up Julia. The horse was still there thankfully. He'd secretly been afraid that some bandit had found her and made off with her and their supplies, but like a good faithful girl, the mare was still there picking the young grass that grew there by the stream that ran around the edge of the forest.
Halfdan quickly sat Alexa down and then rummaged in his pack for something he could tear up into strips of cloth. When he found what he was looking for, he walked over to the water with his canteen and filled it up and then soaked the pieces of cloth. He drank heavily himself from the stream, having had little in the way of water in the last several hours. He'd been so bent on finding Alexa that he hadn't filled up his canteen before leaving out to find her. They'd run out of water quickly.
He took the water to Alexa, who also drank deeply of it, thankful to get it. Then he did the same as before, pulling her skirt up above her knees in order to see how bad the gashes were. He took one of the cloths and bathed the blood off of the scratches and wounds. She jerked back and squeeled in pain as the cloth touched one particularly bad puckered stretch of flesh.
" brave valkyrie. Good girl..." Halfdan coooed.
Alexa simply gritted her teetch as tears seeped out against her will. Halfdan took the other dry bandages and bound them around the torn flesh, tying them tight against her leg. It hurt horribly, but she knew it had to be done in order to keep out infection, until scabs could start to form. It would be a painful process. Finally she felt Halfdan kiss away the tears on each side of her face. The ones she hadn't wanted him to see.
"I'm sorry,"
"Don't ever be sorry, love. You are one of the bravest women I've ever met. My mother would have loved you, do you know that?" Halfdan said, taking her face in his hands and looking Alexa in the eye.
"Dierdru would have liked me you think?"
"Yes, I know she would have approved of you. You are strong and you take on too much responsbility for things that aren't even your fault. I know without even knowing that you would be a hard worker. I feel guilty sometimes because now I want this vengence not so much because of Harold and getting my father's estate back from Toke because it should have been Harold's but now because it's mine and it is going to be ours."
The depth of what he was saying began to kick in. Halfdan wanted her to live with him here forever. He wanted her to be mistress of his estate. What kind of life would that be for her. Could she adapt to that? What about their other quest to find a way back for her to Los Angelos?
"Halfdan, I'm not saying that I don't want that life with you, because I do. I've lived on a ranch in Wyoming most my life and I can't imagine it would be much different." She watched him smile broadly. "But I need to know if you are even going to try to help me find a way back to Los Angelos."
The smile went south quickly. In fact he looked like a storm cloud. A dark dark storm cloud.
"But why Alexa. Why would you need to go back to this Los Angelos. You aren't going back to him are you? Back to Jacob?"
It shocked Alexa that Halfdon even remembered Jacob's name, but then of course she supposed that if there was a woman in Halfdon's past she would have her name all but tatooed on her heart in hatred so what would be the difference?
"No, I'm not going back to Jacob. I don't want Jacob. I could never want Jacob after all we've shared. If I went back tomorrow I'd have to tell Jacob that I could never see him again because I was in love with someone else, even if I knew I could never see you again. I'd grieve over you til the day I died Halfdan."
Her words evidently impacted him enough that the storm clouds blew over and a much more somber, sad expression came over him.
"Lets hope it never comes down to that, huh. I don't think I could ever stand to lose you either. I'd grieve you til the day I died as well. I just wondered why you needed to know how to get back there?"
"Because it's my physical home. I know you love me, so you aught to be contented anywhere I am but you want to go back to your physical Danish home right? Well, Los Angelos is my home so I want to know I have to ability to go back there, even though I am at home anywhere you are, if that makes any type of sense at all."
"Yeah, I guess it does. And we need to know just in case how to send you back. What if you got sick and there was no way we could cure you here and they could cure you in your own time. I would never stand and let you just die here when I knew that you could live in your own world."
"But what if you could come with me....you would wouldn't you?"
"I don't know. I don't think I was mean't to live in 2010."
"Damn you! If I can function in 859, you can function in my time."
"Let's try to find someone, maybe a witch woman, who might know something about time travel. That is always possible. I'll keep my ears open when I go into the bars and such and am listening for news about Toke. You wouldn't believe the stuff you hear when the men get to drinking. It's always possible that I might pick something up. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it as far as me going with you okay?" Halfdan said trying to be consiliatory.
Alexa sighed. She'd thought about something earlier and it just wouldn't go away now. In fact it was really bothering her. She had to ask, though she was very afraid of the answer.
"Halfdan, I have to know this. I don't know why because I'm just going to torture myself with it, but I want the truth. I mean you are torturing yourself about Jacob so I might as well torture myself too."
"Alexa...don't do this," Halfdan looked striken. He held up his hands as if to say, 'please, I'm begging you'.
"So, it's true. There was someone before me. Who was she? Who did you love before me?"
Halfdan sighed heavily. This was not something he wanted to discuss today, or ever for that matter. Genevieve was a closed book in his mind. She was a friend who was gone on her own path in life. She had her own fate to fulfill as did he. Unconsciously he fiddled with the golden cross around his neck. Alexa played with it from time to time and had asked about it once. His only answer was that his mother had been a Christian as well as Irish and she took the answer point blank. She didn't know that he had traded the simple silver cross his mother gave him for the elaborate golden one Geneivieve wore. He knew that simple act would hurt her. Because if it were the other way around it would have hurt him.
"Please answer me," Alexa said simply.
"Her name was Genevieve and I met her in France. She was my prisoner for a time."
"Prisoner."
"Yes. It's hard to explain how she became my prisoner but I promise you that she never came to any harm while she was with me."
"I'm not liking this story one bit Halfdan." Alexa managed to growl. In fact, she stood up wobbly on her bandadged knees. She belatedly remembered her promise to him that she would never run again. But she wanted to for some reason. She didn't want to hear how this story ended. Not at all.
"You were the one who asked for the story, Alexa. I don't want to hurt you. Please sit down. Sit down now." His words were a soft command and she found herself obeying even though she didn't want to. Halfdan quickly moved over to her and enfolded her small hand in his bigger calloused one. She noticed that he rubbed his fingers over hers as if comforting her or maybe even himself.
"She was on her way to the abby where she lived and I had been sent out as a scout. I was in a bad position and I was about to be caught by the enemy. It was either take her as a hostage or be killed myself. Once I had her as a hostage I found out that she was in actuality not just a simple nun, but rather the daughter of the Lord over Paris and several other smaller Frankish towns. She could provide me with the ransom money I needed to become much more wealthy than I ever dreamed."
Alexa finally pulled completely away from Halfdan this time. She stood up and walked towards the woods. She knew she'd sworn she wouldn't run, but she wasn't sure she knew who the man behind her was anymore. He'd kidnapped a nun? A woman of God. In order to get ransom money. Obviously he'd gotten the money because that was what they were living off of now. My God, Alexa thought, this dress that she was wearing... it was bought with the ransom from a woman of God. A woman of God that Halfdan had eventually bedded if she had her guesses right. Her throat began to swell up and the compulsion to rip off the dress and tear it to shreds came to her. It was her wedding dress. Her wedding dress was bought by another woman's ransom! She began to gulp back tears. Great large ones.
"Alexa, please...please don't cry. I don't think you understand the situation. I would have been dead if I hadn't taken her prisoner."
"No, I understand all right. You really are a damn viking! You took a woman for ransom. That is a felony offense in my time period. Punishable by life in prison you ass! Not just any woman either, but a woman of God." Alexa was really crying now.
"I'm sorry. God I'm sorry. But I am a damn viking as you put it and taking prisoners is just part of war. It happens. She would likely have been taken by someone just out in the field as she was. She was lucky that she was taken by me!"
"Oh, she was lucky to be taken by you. This I want to hear. I imagine its very romantic. Tell me all about how you fell in love. Just tell me all about it. Tell me how you made passionate love to her. I'm disgusted. Then you paid for my wedding dress with the money from the ransom from her. A woman you loved. I think I'm gonna throw up." Alexa really wasn't kidding. Her stomach was weak as it could be and she was shivvering suddenly. She barely made it over to the stream before she threw up what remained of her dinner from the night before. Halfdan stood by helpless. He wasn't sure what to do. He'd seen women hysterically mad before, but not this upset per se at him. And he wasn't sure she was really mad, she was simply hurting. She had what she called a 'broken heart'. He'd broken her heart. Now he had to find a way to mend it and soon. He had to find the right words.
Halfdan walked over to the stream and leaned over Alexa pulling her hair back from her face. She had managed to clean her mouth out with the cold water from the stream. She still had tears flowing from her eyes.
"I didn't love her Alexa."
"What?"
"I said, I didn't love her Alexa. She was a good friend. I'd never had an actual friend before I met her. Not someone of my social class before. Slaves aren't allowed to have friends. I thought she was very beautiful and kind, but she had her own fate. She was meant to be a nun and I was meant to carry out this blood feud with Toke until every last member of his crew is dead. The last day before we shipped out for Ireland she invited me to the home of her friend. I was skeptical because I thought it was a trap. When I got there, the house was empty except for her. She asked me for a gift. The gift was, well, myself. She said that she wanted a good memory for all the long nights that she'd spend in the abby alone. She said she knew that to her own religion it was the darkest of sins but she didn't care. I, of course, didn't see it as a sin. She was my friend and she was someone I cared about greatly. I wasn't going to say no to her, so yes, I did share something beautiful with her that day. But it wasn't enough for me to break her out of the abby and beg her to go with me on my journey. I couldn't imagine Genevieve trying to do what you are doing. She isn't strong enough, tough enough, or willing to learn the way you are. Plus she could be very very annoying. You never annoy me. I enjoy your company all of the time. Do you understand? I was not meant to be with her. I was meant to be with you. Just as you were not meant to be with Jacob. You were meant for me and me only."
Now Halfdan had his hands on either side of her face and was looking at her directly. His lips were so close that they were almost touching.
"Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"
"I think, but it still hurts."
"Yes, it may hurt, but I love you. I only love you. The minute I saw you, you know what I thought?"
"What?"
"She's much more beautiful than Genevieve ever was!"
"You really thought that when you saw me. I was getting attacked in an alley!"
"Do you remember what you were wearing at the time?" Halfdan laughed. "There wasn't much to leave to the imagination if I remember correctly. You could see every inch of your beautiful legs and that shirt you had on...what was with that? I can't believe you would wear that on a daily basis in your time. Did Jacob see you in things like that with your breasts just showing like that?"
"Yes, that's the style. Evidently men aren't as horny in our time and they don't go around thinking about sex as much. The pants I had on..everyone wears those kind, even women. Men don't go around attacking women just because they have pants on. It's normal."
"I can't fathom it."
"Maybe I should be afraid to take you home. You are a viking. Would you be attempting to attack every pretty girl you saw in a bikini?"
"No, I wouldn't attack any girl except you. What's a bikini?
"Well, you know what my undergarments look like."
"Yes, pretty much nothing."
"That's what women go swimming in public back home."
A look of utter terror came upon Halfdon's face.
"You are kidding right? Please tell me you've never done that."
"I've done it millions of times. I always wear a bikini to the beach."
Halfdon's face got red. Really red.
"I just can't deal with this time period of yours. I don't think I could stand the thought of other men, random men seeing you in your undergarments. Is that what a bikini truly looks like?"
"Some bikini's are actually smaller and cover less fless than bras and panties do, but I'm not like that. I don't have that good of a body in my opinion so I try to keep my ass covered you know. I don't have that much to show off."
"You have a beautiful body but as long as we are married I swear you will keep it covered and I am the only one who is going to see it. You will only show it in the bathhouse and in private maybe we can go bath in the stream up above the longhouse. But none of this public bathing like you are used to. I'm not the type of man who lays down lots of decrees but it's for your own safety. I can't have you running around in your undergarments. Men would be trying to rape you right and left regardless of whether you were the chieftains wife or not. It would be chaos."
"You are so funny. I have enough sense not to be showing what little I have to a bunch of viking men. I think I've had my feel of their sensibilities already. I'm about half scared to death of viking men anyway. You're the only one I trust."
"Do you trust me now?" Halfdan sighed, placing his head on her shoulder.
"Yes, I guess I still do. It just hurts. Lets just make a pact that the names Jacob and Genevieve will not be mentioned unless it's an extreme emergency of some sort."
"I think that is a good idea. It does hurts us doesn't it?"
"Yes, to change the subject, you know there is a clearing over there. You think you are able to start teaching me a little."
"I don't know, what with your legs and all? Maybe just one or two lessons. Not much though. We start slow." Halfdan said giving in. He helped her up and then grabbed her sword for her.
They walked to the clearing getting ready to start her very first lessons with a sword. Halfdan himself was deep in thought. He decided for the millionth time he was lucky. Alexa had forgiven him fairly easily. She hadn't run this time either. She'd kept her promise to him. She did indeed love him. When he'd been forced to leave Genevieve he'd been so sad. He'd wondered if he'd made a mistake. Wondered if indeed he should have taken her with him, broken her out of the abby, married her somewhere along the way. Now he understood why the fates had had him leave her where she was. They'd had someone else in store for him. Someone who would love him far more than she ever possibly could and someone who could stand by his side come hell or high water. He needed Alexa like he needed water, air and his bow and quiver. He would teach her all he could and hope that it would be enough.