DISCLAIMER- NO, I OWE NOTHING… LEAVE ME ALONE! SAME GOES FOR CHAPTER 1!

CHAPTER 2- PLANNED.

A/N- well, wow!!! I'm actually updating twice in one day!!! Woot woot!!! Anyhow, for those of you who have read my other story, 'Blind Love Again' don't worry, I already started chapter 5, and I promise you there will at least be a lime in there. On this story however… no such luck… well on with the story… and review!!! Please?

CHAPTER 2- PLANNED.

It had been two weeks since Yuki's death. Touhma refused to say or even think of suicide. He had schedule a press conference for next week, to pipe down the media. Eiri's funeral would be two days after that, and he would be buried in his family shrine. Everything was set up, all that was left was to claim Yuki's body form the morgue. The autopsy had revealed the obvious: a self inflicted shot to the head had immediately terminated the young author's life. Touhma spent most of his time at work, trying to forget, to subdue the pain. It didn't work as effectively as he expected, but at least it gave him something else to think about. There was a knock on his door. He sighed "Come in."

It was his personal secretary with a letter on his hands. He sighed again "Please if its another request for an exclusive or something of that sort, I have already indicated for those to be spurn."

"Its not. A messenger came in and delivered it. He said this letter must only be opened by you, sir. He insisted that it be me who give to you personally." his secretary walked to his desk and placed the letter in the middle of it. Touhma took one glance at it and was immediately stunned. It was Eiri's hand writing! "Leave! And don't bother me. Tell everyone I am unavailable no matter what!" he commanded in a harsh voice. As soon as the secretary walked out, he made sure that the door was locked and went back to sit, taking the letter in his hands, and holding as if it would disappear at any moment. Finally, he opened a desk drawer and took the letter opener out of it, and very careful opened the envelope. Eiri's hand writing was all over it. Touhma was amazed by it. His fingers traced the marks a pen had done and tears trickled down his cheeks. He looked at the date and time and realized it had been written the night before his death. Then, the anxiety of the letter, eating him away, he commenced reading it.

Dear Touhma,

By the time you receive this letter, I will be dead. I am sorry that things had to end this way. Please don't feel guilty. It wasn't your fault, but Kitazawa's demon haunted me day and night. I thought I had already overcome that, but even then, that monster just hid away until it crawled its way back. I feared it now. Call it insane but we all got something that we fear, right? Even if it was only on my mind, unreal. It took over my unconsciousness then my conscience. I saw him, he was laughing at me, at my inability to move on. He wanted to break me, but I swore I would forget him one day, drown him away with his last memories. But this fear took over, this desperation. It was false, nothing was real, not his words of love or anything else, and I couldn't escape him, even if Shuichi was there with me.

At the mention of Shuichi's name, he realized he hadn't thought of the singer since the incident, hadn't heard of him either.

I am really sorry. But there was no other way, he haunted my life, and I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't hurt one more person. Because of me, Shuichi was raped, and even then he remained strong, but I can't bare it. Sometimes I hear him in his sleep, telling 'them' to stop, and it kills me. Please Touhma, take care of Shuichi. Don't abandon him. He needs you now. Do it for me. I know that this probably ripped your heart out, but if that happened to you, imagine how Shuichi feels. I love him with all my heart, and I do not wish to hurt him any longer, but I know that if I leave he will follow me, find me. He is all that keep me together, that keeps me from falling apart, yet I know that as soon as he knows of my death he will be hysterical, he might loose his spark, take care of him, and bring him back to life. I wonder who will inform all of you of my death? Will the neighbors call the emergency number? All I know is that I don't want Shuichi to see me at my final stage. I have planned this for months now, I know Shuichi has noticed something different in me, but at least I know that I will no longer hurt him. This is the last time I hurt him, help him recover. I leave all that is mine under your care, with that please provide for whatever Shuichi needs, anything and everything, do whatever you please with the rest.

Again, I apologize for leaving this way, I cannot express the sorrow that overcomes me when I think of leaving the ones I love, but I know you understand. Thank you for everything, and remember, this was NOT your fault. It is what I want and need.

Sincerely,

-Eiri.

P.S.

Please do not tell Shuichi of this letter, at least not yet. It will only bring him more pain. Keep him alive please.

By the end of the letter, Touham was sobbing, tears running down his face. He understood now, he knew why Eiri had wanted to die, and he respected his last wish. If that was what made Yuki better, then so be it. It took him a good hour to compose himself. He thought of the letter and its contentsand suddenly remember where he had left the other boy. He called the Shindou residence, but the answering machine went off, informing him that they had gone to vacation somewhere in the coast. He decided to go to Eiri's apartment for the first time after his death.

The drive there was more painful than it should have been. He could clearly remember moving aside for the ambulance, his fear pounding in his heart.

When he got to the penthouse of the building, he saw a lady trying to get into her own apartment. He moved on to the penthouse's door and twisted the knob and saw that it was locked. Someone must have lock it. He thought. The lady who had been trying to open her door finally opened it, but didn't go in.

"Oh, if you are looking for the boy, someone came to get him." she said

"Someone? Who? Do you know?"

"Well, no. I'm sorry but I don't know. We were taking care of him but then one day everything was locked all the doors and windows closed and the lights were out. No one's heard anything since then, so we concluded that someone must have come to get him and locked everything."

"You were taking care of him?"

"Well, yes, me and some of the neighbors. You see after the man who lived there died, the boy was just hysterical. We couldn't pry him off the body, and when the paramedics came to take the body away, he just ran after the ambulance, almost getting himself run-over by a car. I sedated him, since I am a nurse I had some sedatives. It tool a lot to get him to calm down. I thought he would overdose if I gave him anything more, but since I saw him fighting the effects I took the risk. He was sedated ever since, and when he finally woke up without getting hysterical, he would just look into some corner of the room. We took turns taking care of him until someone came to get him. We tried to take him out of there but he wouldn't let us. Since he wouldn't eat we used an IV. We always left lights on. But like I said one day, someone came for him."

Touhma could only listen as the lady told him what had happened after he left following the ambulance. He decided to check the whole apartment, make sure that all was off , closed or locked. When he first entered the penthouse a subtle stench made its way to his nostrils, and he saw the light from the kitchen on, then heard a bit of struggling as if someone was trying to open one of the drawers. In the kitchen he found Shuichi, dirtied, hair oily and disheveled, holding a knife, looking at it in some sort of trance. Then slowly the knife made its way to a frail wrist. Touhma hurried to the teen's side and took the knife from him.

"NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! I WANT TO BE WITH YUKI!!! YUKI! YUKI!" The boy began sobbing and Touhma held him as he lowered both of them to the ground.

"Why did you want to die Yuki? Did you hate me so much, that you killed yourself? I'm sorry Yuki, I'm sorry!" Touhma could only rock the boy as he cried. Shuichi blamed himself for Yuki's death. After the boy had fallen asleep, he took him to the couch and laid him there and covered him with a blanket. He had realize the stench had come from Shuichi, his cargo shorts were stained. He noticed that the teen still wore the same clothing as two weeks ago. He guessed he hadn't let anyone change him. At least the blood that had covered his body was gone. Taking a look around he decided to hide alll sharp objects, seeing how Shuichi almost killed himself, and know that he wouldn't want to leave the penthouse. He started cleaning around, putting things in their place.

He saw the door to Yuki's study, and was about to opened it, when the pink headed boy threw himself there, blocking his way into the study.

"No! You can't go in! Yuki doesn't like being disturbed when his working!" Touhma could only stare at the boy, he had woken up, and now he talked as if Yuki was still alive. The boy was in denial. He refused to admit that Yuki was dead.

"Okay, please come down Shindou-san. I promise you I won't disturb him." said the other blond with obvious sadness.

Shuichi, still tense, waited a moment to make sure this was true, then he tentatively went to crouch by the sliding glass window.

"Shindou-san, You have to come with me, please. I can't leave you here alone, and I can't stay here. Please, lets go." he extended a hand to shuichi who kept starring out the darkening sky.

"Please, Shindou-"

"No, I can't leave, I have to stay here, and wait for Yuki to come back." said the boy in an almost inaudible whisper.

"Very well, then. I will let you stay here if you promise not to try to harm yourself in anyway…" he said but then added regretfully "Yuki wouldn't like that."

He saw the boy glance at him, then nodded slowly with a few tears in his eyes.

Very well then. I will come here tomorrow as soon as I can, okay?" the boy nodded again. With that Touhma left and locked the door.

A/N- okey so, Yuki's letter was inspired Evanescence's Sweet Sacrifice!!! So yeah… that's what I was listening while typing this chapter… tell me what you think!!! Oh n I forgot to put an AN on the first chapter!!! Review please!!! Oh and don't forget to read the other story 'Blind Love Again'!!! please n thank you!!!