AN: To those of you who have been following this story previously, Chapter 2 has now been revised and expanded into two chapters, so you'll want to read both Chapters 2 and 3.
Shunsui still had the hair clip in his pocket. He'd kept it with him as a talisman all the way through their fights in Hueco Mundo. He stroked her hair gently. "I miss you, Nanao," he said quietly. "Not being able to see you, not having you by my side for months...it hurt. It was like a part of myself was missing. I need you by my side. You've kept our division running smoothly in a way that I couldn't even imagine doing on my own."
There was no response except the quiet whooshing sound produced by the ventilator. He put his arms on the bed and rested his head on them. "I wish that I could have taken your place, Nanao-chan," he said softly. "I would do it a heartbeat."
He reached out to stroke her hair gently and lightly. It was so hard seeing her like this. Most of her body was bandaged, including most of the right side of her face, where Aizen had left particularly ugly cuts and gashes. Not that any scars would ever make her anything less than beautiful in his eyes, but he hated what they represented--the horror and suffering he hadn't been fast enough, or good enough to prevent.
Suddenly, the heart rate monitor started beeping alarmingly. He sat up suddenly, looking at Nanao in horror for a second before he sprinted around the bed and pressed the emergency call button. A few long moments later, Unohana rushed in with several nurses, striding to the bed. She started issuing orders, which the nurses hurried to obey.
Shunsui stepped away to give the healers room, feeling utterly helpless and completely terrified. He could barely see her behind the healers, but he could feel the tension in the room as they worked to keep her heart working. Please, he thought, fight it, Nanao. "She's in v-fib," warned one of the nurses. He felt sick to his stomach as they pulled her robes open and a nurse began to perform CPR.
He was frozen in his place, hands clenched as he felt Nanao's reiatsu growing steadily weaker. «Master!»Katen Kyokotsu said sharply in his mind, «Her life energy is failing!»
Shunsui ran to Nanao's side, grasping her hands in his despite Unohana's sharp warning. He began to pour his life energy into her. Stay with me, Nanao! he ordered silently. His fiery pink reiatsu surrounded them, trying to twine it with her fluttering, weak life energy, trying to help her hold on. He could feel her life energy faltering, struggling. Please, he begged silently, I love you, Nanao. Stay with me.
He was in near darkness. Sand was everywhere, stinging his face, his hands, his eyes, the wind driving it towards him, trying to push him away. "Nanao!" he shouted, trying to feel her. He could feel a slight prickle of her reiatsu ahead of him and he began to fight forward.
He pushed forward towards her. With each step, the wind pushed back at him. With each step, the sand shifted under his feet, threatening to trip him. He fell to the ground and struggled to get back up. He closed his eyes against the blinding, stinging sand, getting increasingly desperate to get to Nanao, to reach her before it was too late. "Nanao!" he shouted again, coughing as the sand filled his mouth.
He fell again and couldn't get up, the sands too unstable under his feet as they heaved and shifted. He forced his way forwards, clawing his way across the sand. Was he getting closer at all? He couldn't get any sense of where she was. Each move forward was met with more and more resistance from the wind and sand. He managed to get to his feet and ran forward again, but he only made it a few steps before he fell.
Suddenly, ahead of him, he could just make out the form of a tree, nearly stripped of its leaves by the wind and partly-uprooted. He instinctively knew it was her zanpakuto spirit. «Hurry, Master,» urged Katen Kyokotsu. He half-ran, half-crawled towards the tree, desperate to make it in time.
Shunsui wrapped his arms around the tree and started to push his life energy into it. His energy danced around him in a pink haze, bathing the tree, struggling to bring it back, to keep Nanao in this world. He had let her get hurt. If she died, it would be his fault, but he would fight to his last breath to save her. He owed her that much.
But it didn't seem to be working. Although the pink blaze illuminated the scene, pushing back the sand, the tree remained lifeless and motionless. He pushed farther, deeper, pulling his energy from the very depths of his own being. He would not lose her like this! Please stay with me, Nanao-chan, he begged silently as he poured out his energy.
He could feel her.
It was faint and distant, but he could feel her. She was tired and in so much pain. She just wanted to sleep, to forget. Shunsui's heart broke for her, and for a moment, he faltered, wondering if he was being selfish, if maybe it was time to let her go. It was in that moment of indecision that he heard her voice in his head. "Taichou?"
He could barely hear her...he wasn't even sure hear was the right word...but he reached out for her with his mind as best he could. "I'm here, Nanao-chan," he answered silently.
She seemed upset about something, but she reached back to him, saying, "Taichou, I..." And then the connection slipped. He could feel her drifting away. With a desperate, renewed effort of will, he poured everything he had into the tree. He would die to save her if he had to. And then...a leaf budded out of one of the branches of the tree. "That's it, Nanao-chan. Stay with me," he thought to her.
Slowly, another leaf budded. And another. And another. Until the tree's roots were firmly in the ground again, and there was a smattering of leaves on the tree. Nanao's reiatsu was still painfully weak, but it seemed steady.
He was utterly exhausted. He sat down against the tree trunk and closed his eyes. Moments later, he opened them to find himself lying down in a bed in Fourth Division. He could feel Nanao's hand in his. His eyes shot open, wanting to see her, but afraid at what he might find...
"She's stable, Kyouraku-san," Unohana said from the doorway. "But you did give us quite a scare."
He sat up and glanced at Unohana before looking at Nanao. She still had an oxygen mask on, but no longer a respirator, and her color was a bit better. Unohana came to his side and began to take Shunsui's vitals. "Did it ever occur to you, Kyouraku-san," she said, with one of those very gentle glares that made shivers run down his spine, "that I was perfectly capable of performing a life energy transfusion?"
He gave her a lopsided smile. "Er...well...I..." he said.
"It was quite dangerous what you did, you know," Unohana continued. "We nearly lost both of you. You pushed yourself almost to the brink with how much energy you gave her."
He shook his head doggedly. "If it would have saved her, I'd have let her have it all," he insisted.
"And if you died along with her, do you think it would have made her happy?" Unohana scolded.
Shunsui didn't have a good answer for that. Unohana sighed as she finished writing on his chart. "Do at least try not to be reckless, Kyouraku-san," she said, with a calm and terrifying smile.
He gave her one of his irreverent grins. "Only when it's necessary to save beautiful women," he said. "I'm sure you'd do the same for Ukitake. And I rather imagine he'd do the same for you."
She ignored his antics as she turned off the lights. "Get some rest," she said firmly. Although...Kyouraku couldn't be sure, but was that just a hint of a blush on her cheeks as she left?
Several more days passed. Shunsui really had used up a great deal of energy and had to rest. Ukitake came to visit periodically, and Shunsui regaled him with stories of how he 'Nobly risked his life to save his lovely Nanao-chan, without whose beauty life would not be worth living.' But behind the jokes, he was still worried. Nanao was getting stronger, but she still hadn't awakened.
On the third day, Unohana let him get out of bed for short periods, although he was ordered to take it easy. He was sitting in a chair by her bed, watching her. Hoping that he had managed to save her, rather than simply leaving her in a permanent comatose state.
His heart lurched as eyes fluttered open suddenly. "Nanao?" he said softly. "You're home now. You're safe."
She didn't look at him. "Nanao?" he said again, touching her cheek lightly. "Can you hear me, sweetheart?" She still didn't react to him, her eyes starring fixedly at the ceiling. He frowned and waved a hand in front of her face. She blinked, but didn't look at him. He felt slightly sick to his stomach at her blank expression, but softly said, "I'll be right back. I'm going to get Sempai."
He reached out for Unohana's reiatsu and hurried to find her. He located her outside, coming in with a few patients. She looked at him, concern in her eyes. "Kyouraku-taichou. Is something wrong?"
"Nanao's awake," he said, "but she's not responding to anything."
"I see," she said. "I will come at once." She talked to the healers with her momentarily, and then followed Kyouraku back to Nanao's room. Nanao's eyes were still open and fixed on the ceiling. "Ise-san?" she said softly. There was no response.
Shunsui stood out of her way as Unohana tried to get Nanao to respond, feeling increasingly desperate as minutes dragged on and nothing worked. He ached to take her in his arms, to hold her tight until she understood she was safe, that no one would hurt her again. But instead he just stood by and watched as the healer captain tried to get through to his fukutaicho. It was all the worse because he didn't understand most of what she was doing.
Finally, she turned to him, a look of concern in her gentle eyes. "There is no physical trauma to explain this, Kyouraku-san. It is not due to damage in her brain, or in her nervous system."
"Then why isn't she responding?" he asked quietly, already knowing the answer but refusing to acknowledge it.
"I'm afraid her behavior is likely due to mental trauma, rather than physical," said Unohana.
Kyouraku clenched his hands. If he could, he would resurrect that bastard and kill him again for this, and this time, it would be slow. "How can we help her recover?" he asked evenly.
"We can help her feel as safe as possible by keeping her room quiet and comfortable." Unohana said. "And I will help her as much as I am able. However...you should also prepare yourself for the possibility that she will not recover."
"No," he said firmly. "She's going to recover. She's going to be all right."
Unohana gave him a gentle, sad smile. "Wishing doesn't always make something happen, Kyouraku-san," she cautioned him.
He shook his head. "Nanao's tough. She'll get through this," he insisted. She has to, he thought.
Unohana didn't answer directly, but she checked Nanao's vitals and wrote something down on her chart. "I'll return in an hour, Kyouraku-san," she said.
"Thank you, Sempai," he said, sitting back down by Nanao's bed. He took her hand again, more disturbed than he wanted to admit by the blank look on her face. She had a reputation for being cold and inscrutable, but she was actually far more expressive than she realized. There was that ever-so-slight twitch in the corner of her lips when she was trying to be stern with him while trying not to burst out laughing, and the way she set her jaw when she was angry at something (usually him). There was that little frown she always got when she saw a relationship she didn't think was a good idea. And there was that half pleased, half lonely look in her eyes when she saw two people come together who could be happy with each other. He hated that lonely look, but he'd have taken it gladly over this expressionless one.
Shunsui sighed deeply and rested his head on the bed by her side. "For once, I really don't know what to say, Nanao-chan." He closed his eyes and continued, "I don't really have the right to speak to you at all. You're lying here because you knew I might be too drunk to get home by the end of the night, and I certainly would be too drunk to clean up my own damn mess. And because you were sitting there doing my work instead of at the party because you knew someone had to be the responsible one in the division, and it clearly wasn't going to be me. A hell of a captain, that's me."
He paused again, lost in his thoughts for a moment, and then sat up. "From what he showed us...you must be terribly scared and hurt, Nanao-chan. I wish I could fix that. I wish it had never happened. But you are safe now. Whatever he showed you, it wasn't real. You're home now. You can rest and get better. And all your friends will be here, waiting for you when you wake up. Even your idiot captain."
Nanao gave no indication that she'd heard anything he said, but her eyes drifted closed as he talked and she seemed to fall asleep. Shunsui sighed again and put her hand by her side, tucking the blankets around her. Ever so gently, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I love you Nanao-chan. Sleep well."
AN: Thank you to all the reviewers, especially farley mcgill, who spotted what was wrong with the previous version of Chapter 2.