Shunsui walked down the halls of Fourth Division, making his way to Nanao's room. It was a familiar path now, too familiar. Through the lobby, down the hallway, take the second right and then the third left. That put him in the long-term patients ward. He went through the lounge area, nodding distractedly to the nurse on duty at the desk, and down the hall. Nanao's door was last on the left. He took a deep breath, forced a cheerful look onto his face and knocked once before he opened the door.
It wasn't a bad room. The walls were a pleasant light blue and there was a window hung with white curtains which overlooked a small garden. There was a wooden bedside table which currently displayed the flowers he'd brought last Sunday and a dresser for personal items, as well as a porcelain sink and medicine cabinet. Her bed had a dark blue coverlet on it, and there were plenty of pillows and blankets to keep her warm and comfortable.
At the moment, Nanao was sitting in a cushioned chair by her bed, staring blankly straight ahead. It didn't matter how many times he'd seen it; seeing her like that hit him like a punch in the gut. But he forced himself to smile anyway. "Good afternoon, Nanao-chan!" he said cheerily. "Saa, it's getting so cold out now! The kind of day when lovers like to huddle together under a warm blanket by the fire."
She was silent, blank, unmoving. There was no indication she even knew he was there, let alone that she understood what he was saying. But Shunsui was undeterred, moving around in front of her. He took her hands to see if they felt cold or not. "Tsk, tsk, Nanao-chan," he teased, "your hands are like ice. You should keep warm or your hand will freeze to your pen someday." He very gently grabbed a blanket from the bed and pulled it around her shoulders, making sure her hands were covered. "Now isn't that better?" he asked.
He paused for a second, as if waiting for an answer, but Nanao remained silent. "So, what's happened in Eighth since I last saw you?" he mused. "Well, it was a bit…"
He was cut off mid-thought by a respectful knock. Turning to glance at the open door, he saw one of the regular nurses in the ward bringing in a tray. She bowed respectfully, and said, "I have Ise-fukutaichou's dinner, sir. Would you like me to bring something for you?"
"No, thank you," said Shunsui, "though it's a kind offer…Kimiri-chan, was it?" The nurse nodded and came in to give the tray to him. She was used to the way things worked when he was visiting, so she simply bowed again and left him in silence with Nanao and the tray. "Dinnertime, Nanao-chan," Shunsui said when the nurse was gone. "Hm, curry and rice. Looks good and hot, perfect thing for a winter day."
Again, she didn't respond. Shunsui sat next to her, gently placed the bowl in her lap, and handed her the chopsticks. "Eat," he ordered quietly. Immediately, her eyes turned towards the dish and she began to put food in her mouth. She moved silently, almost like an automation--no expression of enjoyment or distaste, no pauses to blow on something she found too hot. "It looks pretty good," he said. "They seem to make pretty good food in this part of the hospital. Of course, Jyuu gets fed well when he's here--they just always have a room ready for him over here. But me, I have to eat the same awful hospital food every time I get injured. Now, that's not very fair, is it?" he complained.
She splattered a bit of sauce on her clothing as she ate her curry. Shunsui grabbed one of the napkins provided with the tray and gently wiped the stain off. Nanao continued to eat. "The budget is coming due in a few days, you know," he said. "I'm praying you'll wake up by then because I'm horribly lost. How on earth do you do it? I've been begging Hisagi-kun for help, but he says he has his own budget to worry about. I can't even find all the proper files I should look at!" he complained.
"Not that it's a fault in your organization system, Nanao-chan," he admitted. "Everything's perfectly in its place--I just don't know what I'm looking for. Of course, the upside is that I can put as much sake money in the budget as I want. See, you have to stop me from doing that, or who knows what I'll do?" Nanao continued eating mechanically. Shunsui fought off the urge to grab her and force her to at least look at him. It wouldn't help, it'd only drive her deeper, he reminded himself.
Instead, he took a deep breath and sat back in his chair, closing his eyes for a moment and taking a few deep breaths to center himself. He hated seeing her like this, so blank and lifeless. For all her reputation as a stoic, unflappable fukutaicho, she always had a certain spunk about her, a determination, so very different from this horrible emptiness. When he opened his eyes again, Nanao had finished her food but was continuing to use her chopsticks to spoon up empty air. Shunsui gently laid his hand over hers. "Stop now, Nanao-chan," he said. She immediately put down the chopsticks and dropped her hands to her side, resuming her study of the wall opposite her.
He got up and put her tray aside, glancing at the weather outside. It was already dark out, so it was too cold to take her outside. But they could at least take a walk indoors. Her warm robe was hanging on a hook on the wall, so he went and grabbed it. "Stand up, sweetheart," he said gently, supporting her slightly as she stood. "Now put this on," he said, sliding the coat around her. "There we go. Walk with me. Not good for you to stay inside this room too much."
He led her down the hallways and around the lounge area. Nanao was still limping badly, but Unohana said short walks would be fine. The silence between them was unnatural and uncomfortable, so Shunsui started talking again. "As I was saying earlier," he said, "it was a bit exciting yesterday. Did you know that the second Thursday of January is really overscheduled? Really, a full-squad inspection on the same day as a meeting for the seated officers? And apparently you do two special Kido tutoring sessions on Thursday evenings, too, one for our squad members, and one for anyone who wants to come." He chuckled wryly. "Now I understand why you always seem ready to go right home and go to bed on Friday nights."
"I never knew how much time you spend with those kids, you know. Not just the regularly scheduled stuff, but extra tutoring for those who need it or want it. And I know you don't have all that much time to spare." His jaw clenched momentarily and he quietly added, "Which is entirely my fault." It was all his fault, but he had to set aside the guilt for now, and focus on trying to get through to her. "You know that every single member of our squad who's been here more than two years has at least their intermediate Kido license?" He laughed. "Of course you know, you know everything there is to know about our squad. More than I do, that's for sure."
"I'm doing my best to practice with them and help them along, but I don't think it's the same. They miss you. Especially the younger ones, some of them absolutely adore you. It reminds me of you when you were little, the way you admired Lisa-chan." Again he had to pause to keep his composure. "Of course, you were a tough little thing, too. Always so determined to make sure things were done right, always so willing to take charge to get things done."
They were walking back down the hallway towards Nanao's room now. "I remember the week after Lisa-chan disappeared. Or maybe it was two weeks, it's kind of a blur to me," he admitted. "I woke up in probably the late afternoon and you were in the office, cleaning up bottles and tidying the place up…" He trailed off into silence, lapsing into remembering that day.
He opened his eyes and then closed them again as the light intensified his pounding headache. It was clearly daytime, so he'd managed to drink enough to pass out, a plan he intended to repeat as soon as possible. He was just trying to decide if the probable dizziness of getting up was worth retrieving some more sake when he heard a soft shuffling noise and a few soft tinkling noises.
Cracking his eyes open, he saw Ise Nanao collecting empty sake bottles and putting them in a bag, using a rag to wipe up the spills. Then, she got a broom (which was nearly twice her height) and started sweeping industriously. He let her work for a few minutes before opening his eyes fully, and stretching dramatically, as if he'd just woken up. Her eyes went wide and she dropped her broom. "Sorry to disturb you, Kyouraku-taichou!" she said, bowing.
"Oh, it's all right, Nanao-chan," he said. "Yare, yare, the place looks so clean."
He could see her frowning a little at the form of address, but she didn't say anything about it. "I saw that it was getting pretty messy. Somebody's gotta clean up or you won't be able to find anything at all!" she explained sincerely.
"Ah, that's a good point, my dear," he agreed, going to one of his hiding places to get a bottle of sake. To his surprise, his bottles weren't there. "Eh? Did I drink those last night?" he asked aloud.
"You shouldn't drink so much, Kyouraku-taichou," Nanao said behind him.
Shunsui turned to look at her with some surprise and saw that she had her hands on her hips and was glaring at him with all the severity someone who looks four years old could muster. "Did you take them, Nanao-chan?"
"Yes, sir," she said, looking a little nervous, but still giving him a stubborn glare behind oversized glasses.
He couldn't help chuckling. "How did you know where to look?" he asked.
Now, she did look down, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably. "Yadomaru-fukutaicho told me where your hiding places are," Nanao said. "She said that she had to keep an eye on you and make sure you did your work. Sir." Shunsui could see she was struggling very hard not to cry, trying to be tough in front of her captain. "If she's not coming back...well, somebody has to get stuff done."
He knelt down next to her, looking into her eyes. "You miss Lisa-chan, don't you?" he said gently.
She nodded fiercely, and he could see tears hovering in her eyes. "Saa...it's all right to cry sometimes, Nanao-chan," he said, pulling her into a hug. "Sometimes we need to cry."
She stiffened for a moment, probably not sure if hugging her taichou was an okay thing, but then she started crying, and Shunsui rubbed her back gently, letting a few tears of his own fall. When she was done, she squirmed away, taking off her glasses and mopping her eyes on a sleeve. Shunsui handed her a handkerchief. "Thank you, sir," she said, using it to wipe her eyes, and then clean her glasses.
"It's perfectly all right, Nanao-chan. And I won't tell anyone that you cried if you won't tell anyone I did," he said conspiratorially.
She nodded. "I won't, sir," she promised.
Hiding a grin, Shunsui joked, "So, you're the one Lisa-chan left in charge of taking care of me when she's gone. Going to work your way up to fukutaicho?"
She blushed a little. "Uh-huh," she said. "Yadomaru-fukutaicho was teaching me lots of Kido. We were working on Raikoho, only I'm having a little trouble with it."
Shunsui raised an eyebrow. That was a 60-level spell, and a fairly difficult one to control, one you weren't supposed to attempt unless you had your Intermediate Kido license. "Planning on being a Kido master quite young, I see."
"Yes, sir! I wanna take my Expert test next year, and maybe my Master exam in three years," she said.
"That's quite a goal," he said.
"I gotta work hard on my Kido," she explained. "I'm not much good with my zanpakuto yet."
That didn't really surprise him, as tiny as she was. It'd be hard for her to fight an opponent. Honestly, he was a bit surprised she could fight hollows, but with her Kido, she should be all right. "You do have to get your shikai before you can be a fukutaichou," he said.
"I know," she said frowning. "So I'll have to work on that, too."
He reached down and ruffled her hair gently. "Well, I wish you the best of luck, Nanao-chan. If you need any help, you can ask me, all right?"
Breaking out of his reverie, Shunsui noticed they were back in Nanao's room. He guided her back to her chair. "Sit down." She sat, and he said, "You remember that day you were cleaning up my office? You told me when you wanted to get your Expert and Master Kido license. I didn't really think it was possible, not so quickly. But as usual, you proved me wrong. Youngest Kido Master in the history of the Gotei 13. Once you decide to do something, you do it." Sighing, he added, "Usually without asking for my help, too."
Shunsui shook his head and crouched down by her, stroking her hair gently. "I wish I could get through to you, sweetheart. I can't imagine how much he hurt you, Nanao-chan, and I want so, so much for you to know that you're safe, that I'm here with you." He cleared his throat, and when he continued, his voice was rough with pain and worry. "If I was in your place, I'd be scared, too. But it's over. Aizen and Ichimaru are both dead. You're home, and all your friends are here, waiting for you to wake up."
Nanao didn't move an inch, barely even blinking at the contact. Shunsui rubbed her cheek with his thumb softly. "Please, Nanao. Say something, anything. Just give me some sign that tough, determined woman I know is still in there. Please," he said, nearly whispering.
Stillness, silence.
He dropped his head for a moment, letting his hat cover his eyes as he let his hand slip down to cover hers again, feeling sick to his stomach. Rage at Aizen welled up in him again, but he pushed it aside as he got to his feet. "Well, I'm heading back to Eighth," he said. Shunsui leaned over and tenderly kissed her forehead. "I'll see you again in a few days, Nanao-chan. Get well soon."