CHAPTER 5

Rory smoothed her hands over her dress. It was Logan's favourite dress; blue like her eyes. She figured that it wouldn't hurt to soften him up a little.

She was waiting in the pool house for him. When she had phoned him an hour ago he had told her that he was at his parent's house and would be there in forty-five minutes. He was late, but she was used to that. The way that healways ran in with apologies was actually quite charming. Everything about Logan was charming, even his mood swings.

Rory laughed out loud at what Logan would think about that, he took himself very seriously sometimes. It was a strange contrast to his sometimes self-effacing humour.

She was still smiling about that when he knocked on her door.

Logan noticed the dress and the smile and felt relief. Rory seemed like she was in a good mood; not like she was getting ready to break things off. He opened the door himself, and went over to give her a passionate kiss.

Rory broke away first, sucking in air. "Logan, we're supposed to talk" she said with playful censure in her voice. Logan chuckled and nipped at her lips before he pulled back and sat on the couch.

"Exactly Ace" he said with a smile. "You have to give me the definite yes that I came here for"

Rory's face blanched at his words. Logan noticed and panic fluttered in his stomach.

"I can't do that Logan" she said softly, looking at him with entreating eyes. Logan suddenly straightened on the couch. "I hope that you understand that it's too soon for us to get married now. Maybe…if we had a long engagement?" Rory finished, her face turning hopeful at her idea.

Logan's heart broke right then. He could see by the certainty in her eyes that she wouldn't be changing her mind about waiting. but he still had to try.

"There can be no long engagement" Logan said regretfully as he looked down at his hands.

"Um…ok then. We'll just pretend that you never asked" Rory said. She had a hurt look on her face and it wrenched Logan's insides.

"We can't do that either Rory. It's either a yes…or a goodbye" Logan said quietly, getting to his feet and looking Rory in the eyes.

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Rory gaped at Logan in confusion. Yes or goodbye? How could he say that?

"How could you say that?" she voiced her question incredulously. She had never heard him give ultimatums before, and it was hard to believe that he would do it now.

"I need a direct answer, not an evasion" he said coldly.

Rory's skin went cold. Her charming and sweet boyfriend had turned into his overbearing father. She could see it in his eyes; there were no compromises there, only what he wanted.

She took an unconscious step back, not noticing how his eyes flinched at her retreat. Rory wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to warm herself.

"Logan, I need more time. My mothe…" she tried to reason with him again.

"Your mother has nothing to do with this Rory" Logan interrupted harshly. This time she noticed the flash of anger in his eyes. "All that matters is if you love me enough to marry me. Well, do you?" he questioned her sharply.

Rory rubbed a temple with her fingers in confusion. She didn't know what to do; she did love him…but she wasn't sure if getting married was the right thing to do. Logan moved forward to grab her shoulders and shake her a little. Rory cried out in shock.

"Do you?" he asked again, his voice becoming urgent.

Rory looked into his eyes and didn't see the man she loved. It made her answer easy. "No" she said with certainty.

Logan blinked, then let go of her shoulders as if they had burned his hands. He backed up slowly, gazing at her as if memorizing her features. Then he turned suddenly and slammed out of the pool house.

Rory stood frozen where she was.

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Logan was half way to his parents when it struck him; he had just lost Rory. He barely managed to pull off the road before the sobs escaped him. He hadn't really had a choice. If he had stayed with her then he would have never earned his father's respect. Rory would have thought less of him because of that sooner or later.

He sat weeping in his convertible for half an hour before he could get control of himself again. He looked in the rear view mirror at his reflection.

He looked like shit. His eyes were red and puffy from his crying and the pain in his face was easy to see. He made an effort to conceal his emotions, but it took a minute before he had it down. That didn't make the eyes better though.

He changed directions and went towards Yale instead of his parents. He would phone and let them know that he had needed to get back to catch up on some school stuff. They would understand.

His life might feel like it was over, but it wasn't. He still had the paper, that and his father's respect. It almost made it worth it.

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Rory didn't know how long it had taken her to snap out of her shock; all she knew was that her muscles ached from standing so stiff.

She moved to the phone and called her mother. Lorelai answered on the first ring, having expected the call.

"Rory?" her voice asked softly.

"Hey mom" Rory answered in a subdued tone. She felt like the life had been sucked out of her. "I was wondering if I could come back home to stay for a while?"

"Of course honey. Are you alright?" Lorelai's voice was filled with concern. Rory smiled weakly into space. At least she had her mom.

"I'm fine mom, I just want to come home until I hear from Harvard" Rory answered, suddenly filled with purpose.

"Harvard?" Lorelai asked in confusion.

"Yeah, I'll be applying there for next semester" Rory explained. "I don't want to miss too much time, but Yale isn't right for me"

Rory could hear her mother breath out a whistle of surprise. "I'm sure that they'll take you in a second Rory. And if you want a job until then, there is always a place for you at the dragonfly inn"

"Thanks mom" Rory said gratefully. She knew that her mother probably had a million questions. The fact that she didn't ask any of them really meant a lot to Rory.

After they said goodbye Rory made sure that she looked okay and went to the main house to talk to her grandmother. It would take some time to convince Emily that Rory had done the right thing.

Throughout the rest of the day Rory was very busy. It had taken an hour to talk to her grandmother and another hour to pack all her stuff up. Her mother and Luke took time off work tocome help her move, but Rory had wanted to stay until Richard had gotten there.

Making sure that her mother got along with Emily was a job in itself.

It was surprisingly easy to talk to Richard. He was understanding, and even happy that she had decided not to marry Logan. He even managed to bond a little with Luke about it. They had both fumed at the audacity of Logan's proposal and at the way Mitchum had treated her. The two men shared the view that Rory was supposed to be a great journalist.

It took more time to stop them from ranting about the Huntzbergers then it took to do anything else. Richard had let Rory know that he would be happy to pay for whatever school that Rory wanted to go to, even if it wasn't Yale. That had been really good news.

It was late by the time that they made it back to Stars Hollow.

Rory noticed her mom yawning and smiled at her. "We can unpack all my stuff tomorrow mom. You guys should get some sleep"

Luke smiled in relief and stretched his arms out as he too let out a huge yawn. "Thank god" he muttered. "I have an early day tomorrow"

Lorelai laughed and hugged Rory quickly. "Night hon" she whispered.

Luke and Lorelai went up the stairs silently together and Rory winced. She couldn't help feeling a little weird about them sleeping together, but she would get over it. She had plenty of time to.

Rory was thinking about all the stuff that she would have to do the next day and her shoulders sagged. It seemed like so much. But she knew that her mother would help her through it. She moved to her room to get some sleep.

Rory stopped at her door and looked in. Her room was exactly as she had left it. The sight had tears flowing down her hadn't cried at all yet, but seeing her room had her going. She closed the door quickly and flopped on her bed, muffling her sobs in her pillow.