A/N: I feel like I'm writing a telenovela. This story has got me totally whipped. I think I know what's happening now. Critique is always welcome.
XOXOXO
Serena was going to make it her life's goal to never have another deep and meaningful with her mother.
There were things that she didn't want to know. Things that she shouldn't know—for the sake of her sanity.
Like her mother's sex life.
Lily was having an affair with Rufus. Lily was in love with her ex-boyfriend's father.
That wasn't even the surprising part.
(Lily was always in love.)
Her mother was kind of vague on the details, but from what Serena understood, her mother couldn't leave Bart due to some horrible past deed. Said scandal was now hovering over the head of her mother and Rufus, should she divorce Bart.
Her mother hadn't told Serena what she had done that was so terrible and she didn't know who was orchestrating the threat.
But her mother didn't have Bart's safe code.
And Serena now wished she didn't either.
A brother.
Somewhere out there she had a sibling. A brother.
Her, and Eric, and Dan had a half-brother.
Serena took her own file, but put her mother's back. Lily's was twice the size of her own, and Serena just didn't want to know anything else. She ended up wandering Central Park aimlessly, passing two young teens trying to get rid of a litter of kittens. She felt a lot like a forlorn character from one of Blair's movies. The pathetic drizzle of frosty rain reminded her that she was not that character.
She was the mistress or unsympathetic rival at best.
Shivering and unhappy she made her way back to the Palace.
Chuck opened the door and she brushed past him, shaking her hair out.
He took in her appearance, pursing his lips into a disapproving line. He knew there would be little point in asking her why she was soaked and frozen; she'd only answer with one of her usual thoughtless enigmas.
"What is that in your hand?" he asked, with a twist of his lips and a sneer in his voice.
She blinked wet lashes up at him. "It's a kitten..."
He tried not to grit his teeth, already seeing where this conversation was leading. "And you have it because...?"
He walked towards the bathroom.
She looked down at the quaking fur ball held close to her body. She stroked it's overly large head and miniscule body with a tender hand. "It was the last one. And it was all alone. And then it started to rain. And it was so cold." She looked at Chuck with uncertain doe eyes.
The way she was biting her lip was just plain overkill.
"Serena," he warned.
She took the offered towel from his hands, immediately using it to bundle the kitten.
He closed his eyes for a second before walking back to the bathroom for another towel.
He took her light coat off, deciding it would be best to just wrap her in the towel himself. He didn't want anything else soiled by the mangy looking thing in her hands.
He led her towards the lounge and she slipped out of her heels before curling up on one end. He sat beside her, turning back towards his open laptop on the coffee table. He still had to finish up the reports he'd been working on for his father.
Bart Bass really was a piece of work.
"So can he stay here?" she asked plaintively.
"No," he said unequivocally, a tone that should have stopped any further conversation.
"But he needs a home." She tried to sound normal, knowing in the back of her mind the desperation she felt was probably not the healthiest reaction.
Chuck turned away from the monitor, narrowing his eyes to study the blonde. "What's going on?" he asked after a pause.
"Nothing." It was basically true. Her life, their life, really, was still a home balanced on that precarious edge, where nobody could move too fast or speak too honestly without the chance of bringing it all down.
He picked up the bundled cat, giving it a disparaging appraisal. "I live in a hotel suite." And even that's an uncertainty.
"But it's not like they can kick you out," she argued hopefully.
"I do not like...cats," he pronounced carefully.
"Well, it's a kitten. Everyone likes them," she pointed out reasonably.
"But I'll...figure something out." Serena gave him a sweet smile before he continued. "If you tell me the truth. All of it."
Serena's face fell, eyes turning troubled. She wanted to tell him. That may have even been why she came.
But she didn't want to be disloyal. She didn't want Chuck to turn on her mother. And she didn't want to lay more of her problems at his feet.
It was kind of like with Dan. She wanted Chuck to want to be around her, so she needed to hide some of the messier pieces of her life—keep things tidy and simple and attractive. They'd been 'together' for barely a week; it was probably too soon for the whole 'my world is out of control' spiel.
But, strangely enough, Chuck was really good at kissing her on the forehead and making things feel...steady, like the world would slow down because Chuck Bass said so.
She looked down at herself and walked towards his closet. If she was going to messy up his life, she should at least keep his lounge dry.
Chuck watched curiously as Serena emerged wearing his gym sweatshirt from St Jude's. Another to add to her collection. He placed the cat on the floor as she perched on the arm of the chair.
Quickly and quietly she told him the basic problem. Affair. Scandal. Adopted kid.
"Can you help me find their child? Please, Chuck?"
Chuck listened quietly, careful to wipe any thoughts from his face.
She waited expectantly after finishing.
He cocked his head to the side. "What do you care about their marriage?"
The words were brash and unkind and true. Serena moved to look out the window. The city looked dreary, but still better than her. It just moved. Even when she was tumbling, it just kept going—perfectly unaffected.
"I don't know." It was the only answer she could give without sounding like a deluded hypocrite. (Can't break something then say you liked it better before.)
She wanted her mother to be happy. And things with Bart were extraordinarily fucked up. But this was still her life and her family, and just once she wanted a chance to fix things—to have a constant, even a precarious one. But—her mother and Bart—they'd rip her life out from under her, given the chance.
Chuck came to stand beside her, sliding an arm around her back."Why do you want to find Rufus and Lily's...Why do you want to find him?"
She gave a small shrug. Her mother and father hadn't made things easy. She had done her best to convince Eric that they were wanted, even if they weren't convenient. But she'd still failed and her baby brother had ended up all alone. And now she had a brother that had actually been given up.
And by not doing anything she'd fail again.
She pulled away from Chuck's arm, walking backwards in long strides. "How did you know they had a boy?" she asked suspiciously. She hadn't told him; she was sure of it. Serena wasn't as smart as Blair, or as perceptive as Chuck, but she had intuition. And she knew Chuck.
Chuck just raised an amused eyebrow. "Excuse my lack of gender-neutral language. What was I supposed to say? It?"
Serena shook her head. The amusement had never reached his eyes. "I don't believe you," she whispered. "You did this. All of it. You...blackmailed my mother."
Chuck took a step towards her, reaching out to grab her arm. She pulled away, taking another stride away from him. "You knew I had a brother and you never said anything!"
"It wasn't like that," he said, mind working quickly to find a way to smooth things over, but those betrayed blue eyes made him stumble over his own excuses.
She hadn't really thought he'd admit it. "God Chuck, since when does Bart need you to do his dirty work?"
"It was not for my father," he hissed, heated and intense.
Serena ignored him.
Chuck stood, frozen and unmoving. Serena was just a trail of blonde hair and bare legs heading for his door. He felt young and useless. If she wanted to leave he couldn't stop her.
Fuck that.
What right did she have to come into his life, all sunshine and giggles and then leave, taking that fucking sunshine whenever the hell she pleased?
"Where you running to this time, princess?" he asked in a sardonic purr. His hands curled into fists under the strain of forcing himself to relax.
The words struck the way he knew they would.
Serena spun on her heel, arms crossing. "I am not running."
Chuck curled his lips into a mockery of a smile, glancing away as if uninterested. "You could at least be honest about it."
He knew he needed to do something fast to make her stay. He closed the distance between them. Serena watched him warily. "Stop looking for an excuse to run. If you don't want...whatever we are, then just leave."
Serena was torn between confusion and outrage. "Chuck! You blackmailed my mother!"
He couldn't help it. She was just so infuriating. "For you!"
"...What?"
Chuck let out a long breath. "For you, S. I got Lily back with my father to keep him away from you."
Serena clutched the edge of her shirt, brows furrowed. "You...? But..." She shook her head. "I can't do this, Chuck."
Chuck didn't respond. He wasn't even sure he breathed.
"You can't control my life...Not with blackmail and espionage and lies. I make mistakes, but they're mine and you can't just come in and take over. That's what he does."
"Fine. It won't—"
Serena waved his words away. She'd known him since kindergarten "It will. That's who you are."
His face closed down, cold and emotionless "So this is it then."
Her eyes went wide. "This is just...I need to think. I'll talk to you later."
She wanted to leave then, couldn't stay, didn't know if she'd come back, but Chuck's eyes were just so cynical. She sprung forward, planting a quick kiss on his impassive cheek. "I will." This is not goodbye. It just feels that way.
XOXOXO
Chuck stopped waiting for Serena a week later.
He kept the fur ball...Just in case.
XOXOXO
Bart had been gone for three and a half weeks, but time moved differently in the van der Bass household.
He'd come back to find that everything had regressed. Eric hadn't come home after school. Lily was gone: whereabouts unknown. Chuck was absent: probably drunk or unconscious in his suite.
Once none of that wouldn't have bothered him.
He missed those times.
He didn't hesitate outside of Serena's room. He knocked, loud and sure. "Serena."
She could send him away if that's what she wished. He actually hoped that's what she wanted, because he really wasn't in the mood to get into another argument.
The report he'd received from the family's security agent had painted a sordid picture.
Eric had to be prescribed new anti-depressants. Serena had continued to see Chuck for some time. And his wife was having an affair with Rufus Humphrey.
The door swung open so violently he nearly took a step back, but he'd learnt a long time ago what a flinch could cost.
He had meant to convince Serena to go to Brown sooner rather than later, but her appearance made him think twice.
Her face was free of make-up, dark circles marring her eyes. She was wearing a men's sweatshirt that, thankfully, looked too large to be Chuck's.
Her hollow eyes narrowed and for a minute she didn't look like Serena at all.
The look disappeared and she opened the door further, gesturing for him to come inside. He entered cautiously—he'd seen the Rhodes in her.
She lounged on the end of her bed. The shirt hit her around mid-thigh, but he would have preferred she was wearing something more appropriate.
"I suppose you're here to give me my marching orders," she pronounced lazily, fingers running over her bedspread.
Serena's thin frame looked as vulnerable as he could imagine and it only reinforced his convictions. "We discussed this."
She tilted her head, almost smiling. "Did we?" She stood, moving into arm's reach. "I don't remember that conversation...My bad."
She fingered his tie and he barely stopped himself from backing up. She closed the distance between them and he lost the battle—moving backwards till the door stopped him. She followed every movement until she was the one pressing him up against the door.
He didn't want to feel anything. His mind was telling him to push her away. Run, God damn it. But his body knew her touch. His body was enthralled with the mere promise of what she could do.
He closed his eyes, jaw clenching. "What are you doing?"
Deftly she unbuttoned his shirt. "I'll give you three guesses."
The words were right; the tone was right. It was all Serena: immature yet cynical, playful and devious, natural but without even a hint of normal. But the fingers trailing down his chest, the thigh pressed between his legs—something just felt off.
Her hand gripped his hair, dragging him down into a hard press of lips.
He opened his eyes with a steadying breath. Serena must have shed her shirt sometime.
She pulled away the moment his eyes snapped open.
Standing in her underwear, wide navy eyes dark and confused, all he could think about was how very young she looked.
She moved away. Sitting back on her haunches, she pulled her balled up shirt into her chest. "...You should go."
Breath choppy, he slipped out her door.
His attention was immediately drawn down to the dim shadow at the end of the hall.
His son sipped a glass of amber liquor.
The look on his face was nothing but wintery. Cold and inhuman.
Bart stayed silent. They were too far passed it isn't what it looks like.
Chuck raised his glass, words something dark and slippery. "Welcome home."