Part One:
James kissed Marcus absently mindedly as the boarded the "Wheel of Death", as Marcus liked to call it.
The moon is shining bright
The mood is feeling right
I'll kiss you on your neck
People will stare but we won't care
They sat in the Ferris wheel, James on one side and Marcus across from him. It was the last day of the annual fair and Marcus had been dying to go all year, it was his favorite event. James had even worked overtime so he could get tickets to come. However, it was money well wasted from the way the night was going.
We're high above the ground
We're nowhere to be found
Empowered by adrenaline
Feel I've been born again
James knew very well that the Ferris wheel was Marcus's least favorite attraction. Not only did it rock and stop and make you feel as if you were going to fall at any second, but Marcus also hated heights. He had made James promise that if they were going to go on it that he'd sit next to him and save him in case it fell. Obviously James had 'forgotten' said promise.
Marcus knew what was on James's mind—he'd been complaining about it all night. Ayden had replaced him on the stupid soccer team. Not that Marcus had thought that James's anger was stupid when he first heard, but by now it was just ridiculous. They were supposed to be on a nice, fun date together and James had barely even looked at him in the past three hours.
So now they were sitting in the compartment of the Ferris wheel as it slowly went in circles. It was all Marcus could do to not jump across the small gap between them and cling to James for dear life; he figured it just annoy him.
Marcus laced his fingers together and squeezed tightly before looking up at James. He was staring out the widow his chin in his hand and a pout on his face.
"James…Are you alright?" Wrong choice of words.
James's head snapped in the direction of Marcus's voice and he gave him a death glare, "Does it look like I'm alright to you? Haven't you been listening Marcus? I'm pissed as hell. And you've succeeded in making it worse by proving that you obviously weren't listening!"
Marcus swallowed, trying to hold back the tears. That had hurt. He turned away and looked out the window without thinking then immediately gasped and covered his eyes, dropping his head between his knees. They had stopped at the very top of the Ferris wheel. His heart was racing and the combination of fear, and feelings of betrayal that his boyfriend wasn't helping him. He sucked in a deep breath and sat back, staring squarely at James.
"You're right. I'm sorry." His voice was flat and his sentences short.
Again, I am repeating myself
And I know it is kind for you
To sit and pretend
"Damn right, I'm right." James's shot rudely back at Marcus. Marcus just nodded and didn't take his eyes off his boyfriend until they hit the ground and got out of the ride. As soon as Marcus could get out of the crowd of departing people he pulled his hand from James's, who had grabbed it so they wouldn't get separated and darted off. James stared after him completely confused, then shrugged it off as Marcus needing to use the bathroom or something and looked up at the Ferris wheel, his mind racing with all the evil things he'd love to do to Ayden.
Then it hit him. He'd been an ass to Marcus their entire date. James slapped his hand to his forehead as he realized he'd just gotten off the Ferris wheel and then again when he realized why Marcus had ran off and that he wasn't chasing after him.
Damn regret, I'll try to forget
Don't worry about me 'cause I'm refined
Cast my line to see what's behind
Did you think you'd persuade me to let you go?
James weaved in and out of people as fast as he could, his mind racing with only thoughts of ways to apologize to only the most important person in his life. He reached the edge of the park and realized that Marcus wasn't very bold and brave and with so many people he'd be probably afraid of getting raped or something crazy like that. James turned on his heel and dashed back to the other side of the park and the parking lot, digging for the keys Marcus probably forgot he didn't have.
His eyes immediately found the car and through the slightly tinted windows he saw Marcus's small frame shaking with what has probably the sobs he'd been holding back the entire night. James ripped the passenger door open, seeing as Marcus was in the driver's side, and wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. They were like that for a few seconds then Marcus shoved James away almost causing him to fall out of the car. Marcus may have been tiny, but that didn't mean he wasn't strong.
James grabbed onto the door and swung it shut as he pulled himself back into the car.
"Marcus? What was that for?"
Marcus was hunched over the steering wheel, gripping it tighter than James thought was humanly possible. His knuckles were so white you could practically see the tendons. However Marcus's reply was a shaking whisper that James didn't quite catch.
"What?" He leaned closer and Marcus leaned away. "Marcus, please, what's wrong baby?"
Marcus's head snapped up, in the same fashion James's had earlier and he practically snarled, "I. Hate. You!"
James could literally feel his heart falling to sharp, tiny pieces in his chest.
"What? Marcus, no."
"Give me the damn keys. I'm going home."
This was serious…Marcus never cursed.
Part Two:
James sat alone at the practice field. He was about ten minutes early and was hoping to catch the coach before practice, hoping to get his old spot back. James's eyes narrowed at the thought of Ayden taking his place. That thought automatically formed into thoughts of Marcus.
I'm wishing you were here
My weakness is my fear
Alone I am myself
No reason left for me to care
Were they really over? They couldn't be.
After Marcus climbed silently out of the car and into his house without saying a single word on his oddly speedy ride home, James waited until he had gotten home himself to call, which lead to an all night argument session. James cried at least twice, he didn't think Marcus had cried at all.
They couldn't be over.
Just then the soccer team filed onto the field and Coach was no where to be seen. But of course Ayden was leading them, prancing around like he had just single handedly won the championship game. The season hadn't even started.
James pulled himself up from his spot in the stands and basically strutted up to Ayden, all thoughts of Marcus gone, planning on teaching him a thing or two about being the best, which Ayden definitely wasn't.
"Well look who decided to show up." Ayden said almost loud enough for the next planet over to hear and everyone automatically looked up from whatever it was they were doing. "Come to beg for your old spot back, have you?" Ayden sneered at him.
"Actually I was just thinking about coming to kick your ass." James made a move toward him, but one of his only remaining friends, Kristoff, grabbed him by the back of his shirt.
"Relax James, he's not worth it." Kris gave Ayden a friendly smile and James rolled his eyes at his friend. Kris was always calm and collected, he was logical and knew when to get his hands dirty and when it "wasn't worth it." James knew he was right and probably would have backed down, but Ayden obviously wanted his ass kicked or else he wouldn't have said what he did.
"Marcus told me what happened." His tone was full of arrogance and it was all James could do from turning and hitting him in the face…again. Instead he slowly turned around to face him and "feigned" confusion.
"Why, Ayden, what ever do you mean?" James asked filled with sarcasm.
"Yeah…what do you mean?" Kristoff was genuinely curious.
See, once everyone found out that the great and mighty James was in love with Marcus the weak and flamboyantly gay, his whole rep shattered and Kristoff, who'd know James and Marcus almost as long as James and Marcus knew each other, was one of his only friends left. The rest of them were girls that he'd met through his sister and before high school.
Everyone knew that Ayden was in love with Marcus too, but Ayden's father was principal of the well-known all-boys school and therefore everyone tried to stay on his good side.
"Yes, he was crying to me about it all night and all morning. He even told me about your terrible date. I asked if he wanted to come over, he said he'd stop by after practice today. I think you might really be over. Especially if I get to sink my teeth into him….literally." The last word was whispered into James's ear, only him and Kris hearing it. In the time it took to make his little monologue, he had crossed the good four feet that had been between them; and before Ayden knew it was coming he was on the ground with a black eye.
"Oh, you are so gonna wish you had never been born, Benson." Before James could jump him Kristoff had grabbed him and literally lifted him from the ground, twisting his body so he was between them when he set James down.
"I told you, he's not worth—"
A punch from behind made Kris eat his words and then both him and James were on Ayden like lions on an antelope. It reminded James of when he and Kris were little and they would pick on the girls in elementary school, much to Marcus's dismay. He was being the person he still would have been if he hadn't fallen for Marcus and he didn't care how ashamed he would have been of him at that moment. He didn't need to care anymore; he could go back to being himself because his boyfriend had left him.
On that thought James had froze, his fist three inches from contact with Ayden's nose, that would have broken it and he began to cry again, making his vision bur, leaving him open for the hit Ayden sent his way once he realized James had stopped. Ayden's fist collided; hard and fast with James's temple and James fell to the ground, his vision blurring for totally different reasons and everything went black.
Distracted by the sound
I hear footsteps all around
Empowered by adrenaline
Feel I've been born again
James came around to the sound of footsteps crunching the grass all around him. There was the sound of sirens in the background and that had James's heart racing, making him force his eyes open and look around. Kristoff was standing over him, his face ghostly white. Ayden and his little posse were standing as far away as possible and it seemed that everyone else was making a semi-circle around his head.
Again, I am repeating myself
And I know it is kind for you
To sit and pretend
James looked around, letting his thoughts flood back to him. Suddenly he shot upward and, ignoring the way his head spun, got up and began to run off the field.
Only to fall over again as the earth spun out of control.
"James!" Kris called, running over and helping him up as Ayden and his friends laughed quietly from the side lines. "Are you alright, dude?" Kris pulled James up slowly and pulled James's arm around his shoulders, wrapping his around James's waist to hold him up. They were the same height so it was an easy fit.
"Marcus might have to watch out, guys. It looks like Kris might take his place," Ayden called from his group of friends. They all burst into roaring laughter before Ayden's dad hit him over the head. This time James and Kristoff had to laugh.
"So where you headin', bud?"
"I have to see Marcus." James looked up at his friend pleadingly. Kristoff nodded and turned to the nearest nurse.
"I'll take it from here, thanks." Kris took off in the direction of the parking lot, heading for his car.
"Sir, I have to ask that you let us bring him to the hospital." The nurse grabbed at Kris's shirt, but he trudged on.
"Sir. Sir!"
The nurse's voice faded as they got closer to the parking lot. Closer to the car. And closer to the last chance James had of getting Marcus back.
Damn regret, I'll try to forget
Don't worry about me 'cause I'm refined
Cast my line to see what's behind
Did you think you'd persuade me to let you go?
Part Three:
James sat in Marcus's living room, his head and heart throbbing in unison. Marcus stared coldly into James's eyes across from him on the other couch, an entire coffee table apart. The last time they sat this far away was in the Ferris wheel. Kris was on James's right and he could feel his increasing uncomfort radiating from his skin. But James wasn't going to leave until Marcus forgave him…or until he passed out from the concussion he could practically feel forming. He'd have to make the first move.
You're the only one I turn to
When I feel like no one's there
And when I'm lonely in my darkest hour…
"Marcus…I am so incredibly sorry. You have no idea…," James began lamely. Marcus knew he was sorry, but Marcus was still hurt. And Marcus just stared at James with cold distain. He had offered Kris a drink though, which Kris now clutched firmly in his hands. He hadn't offered James a thing. But…if he really didn't want James here, he wouldn't have let them in. And James knew he saw a look for absolute horror when he saw the bruise forming on the side of James's face.
"Is that all you had to say?" Marcus's voice was clipped and bitter and James realized they had been sitting in dead silence for about five minutes.
"No…Yes…Maybe…" The realization that Marcus's mind was still unchanged made James feel incredibly lonely. He not only lost his lover, but his best friend. And things would definitely never be the same...
There were things about James even Kris didn't know. Even though James was pretty sure that Kris knew that. James looked up at his friend helplessly and Kris understood it was his queue to leave.
"I'll, uh, just be in the….Yeah." Kris stood and placed his glass firmly on the coaster before darting out of the room. James watched him leave then looked back at Marcus and slowly stood, making his way around the coffee table to the couch on the other side, sitting on one end while Marcus sat on the other.
They sat in silence for a moment, without looking at each other; then James took a deep breath and turned to face Marcus, who was looking at him, a mixture of longing and pain in his eyes. He was trying so hard to fight his feeling, and was losing, which made James only hurt more.
"Marcus, I love you. Can't you see that? Every second I think that we aren't together, it burns. It physically burns." James clutched his fist to his chest over his still shattered heart. "Marcus I will never stop loving you and don't you dare think I'm going to give up on you! Nothing you do or say will ever make me stop loving you or leave you. I'm not going to let you be alone. And I know that nothing I can do or say will ever make up for what I've done, but please, please, give me a second chance." James's voice broke and he burst into silent tears.
Before he knew it was coming Marcus flung himself into James's arms and buried his face into the curve of James's neck and automatically James wrapped his arms as tightly as he could around Marcus without breaking him.
"James, I love you so much. I was so stupid to do that, I'm sorry." Marcus's words were slightly muffled by James's neck, but he heard them and he was furious. He pulled Marcus away from him, almost at arms length and looked down at him incredulously.
"How could you say something so absolutely ridiculous? You have nothing to be sorry for. You've done nothing wrong…I don't think you ever could." James's surprised and stern expression broke into a gentle, loving smile.
And Marcus smiled back.
"Oh, by the way," Marcus said out of the blue, breaking into a sexy smirk that made James want to take him on the spot. "I heard the greatest news while you were apparently on your way over."
…You give me the power
To sit and pretend
James slammed his hands down on the coach's desk in the gym, overjoyed. "Are you kidding me?" James's face held a big grin as he glanced back at Marcus who was standing in the doorway, smiling gratefully at the coach.
"Nope, his dad personally took him off the team for bad behavior." The coach leaned back in his chair, lacing his fingers behind his head and ginning right back at James.
"Take that, Benson!" James shouted, running over to where Marcus was standing and lifting him into the air, spinning him in a tiny circle.
The coach laughed and said, "Practice. Every Saturday. Three to five. You miss you're off. Got it?"
"Yeah coach." James kissed Marcus full on the mouth. Their first real kiss in what felt like forever.
Damn regret, I'll try to forget
Don't worry about me 'cause I'm refined
Cast my line to see what's behind
Did you think you'd persuade me to let you go?
Did you think I'd forget?
Did you think I'd surrender myself to persuade you to let me go?
Did you think I'd forget?
Did you think I'd surrender myself to persuade you to let me go?