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Tony DiNozzo was tired. His eyes were aching from the long hours and his nerves were frayed. The phone call from Gibbs had been a blow to his conscience. He'd screwed up, big time. He sighed as he bagged another bullet casing. Jenny had never used the code words! How were they supposed to know she was going to get shot? He should've known though, shouldn't he? Ziva knew something was wrong, but every attempt she made to make him see what she saw, ended in him dismissing her words. He was, after all, the senior field agent. The last call was his to make and he hadn't made it. He'd let his own arrogance get the best of him. He was always acting like Gibbs, so he thought his gut would tell him something wasn't right with the Director. It hadn't though, and he'd left her to die. If Mike hadn't been there she would've been slaughtered and no one would've known until the time came to go back to DC.

He looked around the diner, taking in the bright light spilling in through the windows and bullet holes, dust swirling in the air currents. It was a miserable place to meet death. The bodies had been removed an hour previously and were on their way to Ducky in DC, the pools of blood on the floor marked out and labelled. He picked up the last card with 'Shepard' written on it, the one neither Ziva nor himself had been able to place and walked steadily to the counter. He took a deep breath and placed it on the ground, next to the red puddle and moved back to the doorway. There was nowhere to hide as the four men came in the door. She'd been outgunned and it was his fault.

In his mind, he was seeing Jenny lying where she'd fallen, rapidly bleeding to death, Mike kneeling beside her, pointing a gun towards them with his uninjured arm, his other hand roughly pressing on her stomach, trying to stop her life's blood leaking through his fingers.

"She's not dead, Tony." Ziva's soft voice washed over him, pulling him back to the present. She reached out a hand to him, resting it gently on his shoulder. Suddenly he felt ashamed of himself. Ziva was comforting him, when it should be the other way around. She had known Jenny years before he had; they had been friends and partners, relying on each other for back-up. How was Ziva holding up? He tried to voice the question, but somehow the words just stuck in his throat. What right did he have to ask her about her feelings now after ignoring her earlier, when she had felt that something was wrong? He averted his eyes and pulled away from her hand, not seeing the hurt he caused with his actions.

"Let's get to the hospital. Gibbs wants us to report. Bring the photos; he'll want to see them." His voice was cold and distant. He turned to the car and got behind the wheel, waiting for his partner to join him. Ziva slid in to the passenger seat and buckled in, not looking at him once. He knew he deserved it. He would apologise, he just couldn't help feeling he'd failed her too. He brought the car to life and drove quietly to the hospital.

Gibbs' words had well and truly hit the mark. You do understand the concept of a protection detail, right!? Yes, he did, but he'd let the excitement of being in a different city take over. The chance to hire a fast and flashy car and watch Ziva sunbathe in a bikini had been intoxicating. So you disregarded her safety because you thought she was getting off? He had, because he thought she had wanted to keep her sex life as far away from Gibbs as possible, what better way then when you were at opposite ends of America?

*Did you really? Or did you just want an excuse to have Ziva all to yourself?* A nasty voice in his head whispered.

No, that's not it at all, he thought back, we tried to get her to talk to us but she didn't want us there. What happened wasn't our fault.

*You abandoned her, Tony. You don't want to admit that you knew something was wrong, because then you'd have to admit that you didn't care.*

That's not what happened!

*Didn't you want her to be alone? Weren't you the one that caused your team mates to hate her? To make Gibbs hate her?*

The blame for what happened with Jeanne was mine too; it just took a while for me to see it. He thought sadly. I never tried to make Gibbs hate her; he did that on his own. I forgave her.

"I forgave her." He repeated, this time out loud, hoping to stop the voice in his head.

"Forgave who?" Ziva's concerned voice reached him and he froze, not sure what to say. He realised that they were parked in the hospital car park and he didn't remember the journey. He could've killed them both while he was distracted with an imaginary voice. His recklessness knew no bounds, it seemed.

He remained quiet and Ziva threw herself out of the car, her patience at an end. He sighed and followed her in to the hospital, pausing to ask a harassed looking woman about the Directors condition. He allowed himself an amused smile at the reaction the woman had at the mention of Jenny's name, she looked like she was being faced with a pack of wolves and Tony knew that look only came from one thing; the memory of an angry Gibbs. He tried to smother his smile and asked for the location of Gibbs instead, knowing that by now all the hospital staff would recognise him. She told him he was with Mike Franks so they set off for his room.

Ziva arrived at the door first, holding out her hand for the handle. She nodded to him once then slipped inside and he followed, closing the door behind himself. Franks was asleep in the bed, laid back against the pillows and his arm had been bandaged. Gibbs was standing by the window with his back to them, looking out across the small park behind the hospital. The atmosphere in the room was oppressive, their breathing loud in the silent room. No one moved for a few minutes until Gibbs spoke.

"When I heard the Director was going to a funeral in LA, there was no doubt in my mind that any of the agents at NCIS could and would, defend her." He paused and gritted his teeth. "I didn't want her defended, though." He turned around to face them, his eyes desolate as he tried to hold himself together. "I wanted her protected." He met and held their eyes for a moment before continuing. "So I sent my best agents with her, knowing that they wouldn't let me down." He stalked towards Tony, entering his personal space, leaning towards him their faces close, the fury radiating off of Gibbs so strongly, that Tony found himself shrinking back closer to Ziva. "Why did a 60 year old retired man, who doesn't even live in this country, have her back… and not you?"

Ziva spoke first. "We were following her orders."

"You were supposed to be following her!"

"We did once we realised that she might be in trouble."

"I thought I taught you to anticipate? Or did you forget those lessons and the well being of a friend because the sun was shining?"

Tony finally opened his mouth to try and take the heat off Ziva. "Boss, we screwed up, we know that. We had McGee track her down for us after a girl was killed in the Directors rental. If we had done so before that she would have fired us or sent us back to DC. We did what we thought was best at the time."

Gibbs looked about ready to disembowel them, his eyes raging and calling for blood, when he suddenly calmed. He viewed them with disdain for a moment and then simply turned from them, as if they weren't there. He sat down by Mike's side and reached out a hand for the folder they had brought with them. Tony watched Ziva passed it to him and he took it, not looking up or acknowledging them at all. He opened it and took out the photos, spreading them in front of him.

Ziva told him about the evidence being taken to DC along with the bodies, but he seemed to be ignoring her. She wasn't used to the silent treatment, but Tony nodded at her to tell her to carry on anyway. She finished telling him about the scene, and then walked to the other side of Franks.

"Is there any news about Jenny?" she asked Gibbs softly.

He swallowed reflexively and bowed his head. "She's still in theatre, as far as I'm aware."

Half an hour later a doctor entered the room and everyone stood up to face him. He shifted nervously at the glare levelled at him from the crowd of people when he didn't start talking immediately.

"Director Jennifer Shepard's family?" They all nodded so he continued. He decided that none of them looked like doctors so he'd do this in laymen's terms. "My name is Dr. Eli Hargrove and I'm the surgeon seeing to Miss Shepard. She was shot twice, once in the shoulder and once in the stomach. The bullet that passed through her shoulder thankfully missed the joint. It did pass through the muscle, so she'll need Physiotherapy and her arm will need to be immobilised for a few weeks. In reality it'll be months before she'll be moving it normally. The other bullet narrowly missed one of the hollow organs in her stomach. Luckily your friend here Mr. Franks kept circulation by putting pressure on the wound until help arrived. We managed to repair the blood vessels that were damaged as the bullet passed through her, stopped the bleeding and we sewed up the entry and exit wounds. We lost her twice in the ambulance and once more on the table. She's lucky to be alive. We are keeping her sedated for a few days until her body can handle the stress of the increased blood flow caused by consciousness."

"Can we see her?"

"Of course, I'll show you to her room now." He motioned for them to follow him and then led them down the hall to a small, secluded room. Tony couldn't help but notice that the room was in a good position for security to stand outside and not disrupt the coming and going of patients and doctors. The moment Dr. Hargrove opened the door, Gibbs was through it. The doctor seemed surprised but covered it well and entered after they had all crowded through. "If you need help or something happens there's an emergency button above the bed. I'll leave you alone now."

"Thank you." Tony was the only one to respond to the doctor as both Ziva and Gibbs seemed mesmerised by the sight in the bed. He followed their eyes and sucked in a breath. Jenny Shepard lay on the white sheets, almost as pale as them. The blood loss had given her skin an almost translucent quality, making her red hair more striking. She didn't look asleep, she looked dead. She seemed like a ghost of the woman that had been their Director for the last three years. If her chest hadn't been rising and falling as she breathed, he wouldn't have known any different.

He watched in silence as Gibbs slowly reached out his hand to gently stroke his fingers over her cheek. He closed his eyes for a moment and then sat down beside Jenny and took her hand, stroking the back of it lightly. The moment felt too personal and Tony averted his eyes, feeling like he was intruding. He noted Ziva had done the same and his eyes caught hers. She looked at him with pain in her gaze, and he felt guilty. He walked swiftly to her side as he should have done earlier and took her in his arms, feeling her sag slightly against him and the front of his shirt become wet as it soaked up her noiseless tears.

Silence descended upon the room once more, everyone too preoccupied with their thoughts to notice the man outside the room, his eyes sweeping over it to land first on Jenny, then on Gibbs. He smirked and moved off quickly, to report the agents' presence to his Russian employer.