Chapter 19

More than Life Itself

The water was deliciously warm and soothing as it swirled, bubbling over and under her body. She lay back, floating in the pool sized tub, eyes closed in anticipation of the night to come. Han watched her lay on the surface of the water surrounded by the soft glow of the underwater lights. Her skin glimmered as the ripples coursed over her, and he ached to slide his hands along her body. He slowly eased his way into the tub and moved under her floating form. Their bodies bobbed and swayed in the water, sometimes bumping as would a boat tied to a pier. Putting his arms around her he caressed her. Leia moaned at his touch and laid her head back onto his shoulder, and he captured her lips as she turned to him. Han held her tightly and let her passion overtake them both. Oh, he loved this woman. He loved this woman more than life itself.

She was amazed that she felt so calm. Despite her good looks, Judy's experiences with the opposite sex had been minimal. As she had told Don, she was too busy preparing for the Jupiter mission to engage in 'fun,' but this wasn't about 'fun,' this was about 'love.' She assumed that when love was present, the sex would come naturally.

Don, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. He adjusted the lights, uncovered the bed, and then searched the cabinets for a good stiff drink. Judy had gone into the fresher to make herself comfortable. There was a knock on the door and Don shouted, "Go away!"

A muffled voice stated, "Room service, sir."

"Room service? I didn't order anything," he stated.

"Compliments of General Solo, sir," the bell hop reported.

Don accepted the delivery and placed it on a small table near the bed. He unwrapped the bottle and laughed out loud. A bottle of Whyren's Reserve accompanied the shot glass on the tray… just what he needed to fortify himself. He poured himself a drink and as he was about to gulp it down, Judy emerged from the fresher in a clinging silk Caribbean blue negligee. He stopped, glass in mid air and mouth open. She slinked her way over to him, step by step. She reached out and placed her hands on his shoulders, the undeniable look of desire in her eyes. He downed the drink, tossed the glass aside, and then let his hands surround her waist.

"Judy, we, uh, didn't talk about one or two things…" he started.

She touched her fingers to his lips. "Sh… I'm a doctor, remember? I am on birth control and I saw your medical records. We won't even need a condom. Does that answer all of your concerns?"

He shook his head. She was amazing. "Yeah, I guess so, but there is one more thing."

"What's that?"

His eyes took on an intense shade of grey. "I love you, Judy. I would give my life for you. And you need to know that… I've never felt this way about anyone else before."

"Not even your friend, Jeb?" she teased.

He smiled. "Well, maybe Jeb, but no one else, I swear."

She smiled and decided that she couldn't wait any longer. She devoured his lips and pushed him towards the bed. He sat on the edge and she unbuttoned his green silk shirt, one button at a time.

"Hey, I'm supposed to be doin' this to you," he murmured.

"You'll get your chance… later. For now, let me have my 'fun,'" she whispered.

She pushed him back to lie on the bed. Even though she was a doctor, she had never touched a man like this and it excited her. She kissed and licked and brushed, building him up until he finally convinced her to stop in between gasps of pleasure.

"Let me have you, please?" he begged.

She nodded. He tried to hold back, he really did, but the emotions and sensations overwhelmed him. An eruption of shear joy and pleasure overcame him and he called out her name. Waves of pleasure engulfed her body as well. Her hands surrounded his face and she brought him up to her lips. A tear slid down her cheek, and he wiped it away with his finger.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked.

She sniffled, "No, you didn't. I think I'm crying because I feel guilty."

"Guilty? Judy, we love each other, there's nothing wrong with showing how we feel."

She shook her head. "That's not it. I'm sorry for giving you such a hard time for so long. I know I hurt you when I was with Luke."

His eyes veiled his feelings for a brief moment. "Luke would have taken care of you, so I would have been okay if you had stayed with him." He twirled a strand of her hair around his finger as he thought about that scenario. His eyes locked onto hers. "Honey, don't waste time feeling guilty. We're together now… and that's all that matters."

"Time to get out, sweetheart," Han murmured into her ear.

"No, not yet, just a little bit longer," she pleaded.

He held her against his body and rubbed her stomach. A vision of Leia, eight months pregnant came into his mind and he imagined a little Han or Leia floating in her swollen belly. Children… His childhood had been so horrible that he swore he would never bring a child into this universe. Now the idea of becoming a parent, but only with Leia, tugged at his mind. He marveled at how much he had been changed by the touch of this woman.

The whirlpool jets stopped and Leia let Han leave the tub and dry off. He wrapped her in a towel as she stepped out and then carried her to the bed. She shivered as he laid her down and he pulled the comforter around her. He lay down beside her and held her close to warm her.

"Leia?"

"Yes?"

"You know I love you."

"I do."

"Tonight, General Riekaan asked me about my, uh, future intentions."

"He didn't!"

Han laughed. "It probably was Professor Robinson's influence. The point is that, I didn't even have to think about it. I told him I want to marry you."

Leia didn't speak. The idea of marriage had never entered her mind. She had always been so involved in the rebellion personal relationships were never a priority for her, that is, until Han had been frozen in carbonite. After that time, he was all she could think about.

"Say something, sweetheart."

"Han, I love you. I want to be with you. I want to stay with you, but marriage, well, I've never thought about marrying anyone."

"I never thought about it either, until tonight." He stroked her arm. "I even had this vision of you pregnant with our baby."

She sat up, horrified, and he scowled in response.

"No, no babies. Maybe I could marry you, but I could never bring a child into this world. How could you even think about having a child with me when you know who my father was!" Leia exclaimed.

"Hey, Leia, it's okay."

"No, it's not okay. If you want children you better find someone else!"

"I don't want children with someone else! Leia, I want you... "

She stared at him, guilt creeping up her spine. "I'm sorry, Han. It's just that, with my family heritage, I can't…"

"Forget marriage. Forget children. I'm sorry I brought it up."

"How can you even love me, knowing who my father was?"

He took her chin in his fingers and tilted it to make her look at his face. "I love you, not your father."

She lay back down against him. He pulled her close and waited for her breathing to calm down. She buried her head into his shoulder. She never wanted to be without him.

"Han, I do want to marry you… someday."

"Whenever you're ready, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere."

They lay in each others' arms, and felt as if they were drifting amongst the myriad of stars around them. Don was spent, but forced himself to stay awake. Judy nuzzled his neck and licked his ear. He shivered.

"You devil," he whispered.

"Did I wear you out yet?" she asked.

"Uhhh… give me a little more time to recover. Then I'll be good to go again."

"You're exhausted. You can sleep."

"No, I don't want the night to end. I still can't believe we're together."

"We are together, and I want us to be together for a long, long time."

"For as long as you can stand me, I'll be here."