OH MY GOODNESS.
I wrote the Author's Note, but I kept pressing this weird button on my keyboard that kept erasing it! It erased it like three times!
(Sighs.) Life sucks. :(
Anyways, thanks so much to my reviewers:
Catgurl2004, Guardian of Atlantis, Ocean-Eyed Wolf, poopontoast123, Kimimaros-Angel, Hisana Kuchiki, Maker-Chan, keanadee, xcgirl08, and Eat.
You guys make my day. :)
Friday
"TGIF, HOMIES! GET YO' ASS OUTTA' BED 'CUZ WE'RE HITTIN' K-TOWN TODAY!" the new wake-up called rang loudly, waking Deidara up with a start.
"K-town? What's that, yea?" Deidara thought aloud drowsily.
Walking over to the bathroom, he washed up quickly and brushed his long, thick, healthy blond hair out,smiling.
"Oh my- my hair's even prettier than it normally is," he mumbled to himself cheerfully.
Wow, Deidara's just as conceited as Kisame is!
After putting his hair up in a half pony-tail, he combed his bangs out to cover his bionic eye, winking at himself in the mirror afterwards.
He took out a white Tall-T, which was a white T-shirt made by Footlocker.
Tugging it on over his head, he sighed, remembering the price.
"Ten fucking dollars for a simple white T…how fucking stupid is that?" he muttered angrily. He had to fork over ten dollars to the leader when they were in New York on Tuesday.
-Flashback-
"Here," Jay-Z said, handing a plain white T-shirt over to Deidara.
Deidara looked at it with distaste. "It's so plain, yea."
"Suck it up, man. I had to pay ten fuckin' dollars for it…even though I got it while it was on sale," he informed him.
"Oh gee… thanks, yea," Deidara said to him dryly.
Jay-Z glared at him. "It's not free, you know. Where's my ten dollars, foo'?
The blonde raised his eyebrows. "No fucking way, yea."
The leader punched him in the stomach hard, causing a lot of pain for poor Deidara.
He handed the money over shakily, groaning painfully. Jay-Z snatched it out of his hand, smirking.
"That's what I thought, motha' fucka'."
Deidara scowled at that unpleasant memory.
Impulsively, he examined the tips of his bangs for any split ends. It was his daily routine. His schedule looked a little something like this:
9:00- Wake up, get out of bed, wash up, etc.
9:30- Check for any split ends, possible dandruff, and see if nails need a manicure.
10:00- Of course, everything's perfect so commence changing into clothes.
10:10- Look at BEAUTIFUL self in the mirror.
11:00- Stop and walk away while trying to resist the urge to look at self in mirror.
11:01- Fail and go back to mirror.
11:30- Finally stop looking in mirror and go eat.
Wait… Deidara paused.
He had to change everything that started from '11:30' because he was on a diet.
Well, he was on a crash diet, to be more elaborate.
So, the schedule now looks like this (starting from 11:30-everything else before is kept the same):
11:30- Finally stop looking in mirror, walk to dining room, sit down, and read.
12:00- When the others are finished eating, jump up to the G.F.H. for the daily Akatsuki meeting discussing missions, future plans, any possible financial problems that might arise, etc.
12:30- The meeting has probably ended by now; do whatever that leader commands.
12:30-? Do whatever.
Deidara raised his eyebrow. Wait-have they had any missions lately?
Come to think of it, the plan the leader invented that included the Nine-Tails was no longer discussed.
The Akatsuki hadn't gone on any actual missions all week!
Monday: Everyone finds Hidan and Sasori together in bed. Suspicion arises. Unfortunately, it turns out that nothing happened.
Deidara sighed. There's never any juicy gossip going on in this boring, dull organization.
Capture some little boys because they have a fucking monster living inside of them, suck it out, killing them in the process, and then go out to kidnap more people to suck some more fucking monsters out of them- over and over again.
Anyways, continuing with the description of the week:
Monday (continued): Learn some weird Hip-Hop things. Itachi unleashes his terrifying Mangekyou Sharingan on the leader, knocking him out and leaving him on the soft, plushy rug. Everyone retreats to room and falls asleep.
Tuesday: Itachi arrives at kitchen, screaming. Kisame runs after him, speaking German. Sasori flips out, acting extremely Out Of Character. Leader pops out of nowhere announcing that we are leaving on a field trip. In the end, it turns out that the destination is 'Nigga City'. Everyone sees disturbing images which involve gay men, dancing sluts, and lots of alcohol. Leader reveals his true name. Sasori almost gets raped. Hidan gets beat up and ripped up by an insane chainsaw killer. We leave Nigga City.
Wednesday: Itachi accepts Jesus Christ into his life, magically transforming him from an insane, cold-hearted atheist to an insane, cold-hearted Christian. Everyone finds out that Zetsu is gorgeous. Kakuzu is disturbed by eyebrow-raising. Hidan is a homophobe, or a hater of homosexuals. Everyone declares what country they are from. We learn the reason Kakuzu loves money so much.
Thursday: Itachi is bulimic. Everyone shares how much they weigh. We discover that Sasori has gotten a tongue ring, and that Itachi has gotten a lip ring. We visit Suna. Sasori and Deidara, have to go apologize to the Kazekage. Itachi gets more piercings and numerous tattoos. Zetsu also obtains some piercings. Hidan goes to a spa. Kisame and Kakuzu have a pleasant conversation at a lake. Tobi is off doing whatever he does…probably picking flowers somewhere. What Jay-Z is doing is currently unknown.
Wow, what a week, Deidara sighed, shaking his head. What a stressful and disturbing week, more like, yea.
Realizing that he still only had his shirt on, he went back to his closet and pulled out a pair of black Capri's, pulling them up. Freezing, he realized something very unfortunate:
They were tight.
"Shit." Deidara widened his eyes. He couldn't believe it.
He sucked in his stomach and buttoned it, zipping it up slowly.
No fucking way.
He felt like crying. This was horrible, absolutely horrible.
He shook his head furiously, trying to forget about it, and pulled on a pair of clean, white socks.
He took out a pair of Black Converses that Itachi had gotten for him in New York- well, Itachi had gotten everyone in the Akatsuki a pair, not just him- and jammed his feet into them.
Finally, he flipped on a few black and white bracelets to accessorize the look. After all, the Akatsuki members didn't have to wear their cloaks and spats anymore.
The White Tall-T's, Black Capri's, and Black Converses were the new unannounced Akatsuki uniform.
Well, the black cap was part of it too, but Deidara didn't want to ruin his hair.
Stomping moodily to the dining room, he huffed loudly, attracting attention.
"What's wrong, Deidara-sama?" Tobi questioned kindly.
"No! No more suffixes!" Kakuzu bellowed, slapping Tobi on the head frantically.
"Wh-why?" the masked man cried, baffled.
"Haven't you noticed that we haven't been using suffixes in the last six chapters, Tobi?" Sasori sighed, appalled by Tobi's stupidity.
"Oh, that's why Deidara isn't calling Sasori 'Sasori-danna' anymore!" Hidan yelled, banging his fist on the table. He had to get some of his excitement out. He doesn't usually discover things.
After all, Hidan was a little…stupid, sometimes.
"You don't mind, right, Sasori, yea?" Deidara inquired casually, secretly hoping the answer was 'yes'.
"No, I don't mind at all. Actually, the 'danna' was a little annoying," Sasori replied coldly.
Everyone gasped.
"That was harsh, Sasori," Zetsu stated disapprovingly.
"Why do you care, Zetsu?" Sasori asked, raising his eyebrow.
"Ugh…eyebrow raising…" Kakuzu moaned loudly.
"Shut the fuck up, Kakuzu," Hidan sighed.
"Shut the fudge up, Hidan. Watch your mouth," Sasori reminded him.
"But-"Hidan started to say but was cut off by Sasori.
"No 'buts'!" the puppet-master shouted back.
Suddenly, Itachi started laughing.
Not the quiet, reserved chuckle, but the huge 'HAHAHAHA' of laughter.
"BWAHAHAH PUHAHAHA MUAHAHAH AHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAH LALALALA HAHAHAHA!!!" Itachi hooted uncontrollably, his eyes filling up with tears from laughing so hard and his body shaking madly.
Everyone stared at him.
The Uchiha continued laughing.
"HAHAHAHAHA, 'NO BUTTS' OH, I CAN'T STO-HAHAHAHA, I CAN'T BELIEVE-BWAHAHAHA!!! HOW INAPPROPRI-MUAHAHAHAHA LAWL!!! SO IMMATURE-HAHAHA!!! Itachi guffawed wildly, now on the ground, clutching his stomach.
Suddenly, everyone got the joke. 'No buts' actually did sound like 'No butts'.
"OH MY-HAHAHAHA!!!" Sasori snickered. "I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT! HAHAHAHAHA 'NO BUTTS'!"
Deidara snorted, "AHAHAHA OH JEEBUS!"
Kisame, Kakuzu, and Zetsu were covering their mouths, trying so hard not to laugh.
Hidan, however, was laughing just as hard as Itachi, lying on the floor next to him. The two were clutching their stomachs which hurt from the excessive laughing.
Tobi was just sitting there calmly, not understanding what was going on.
Finally, when everyone had winded down a bit, Itachi said, "I never laughed like that in my entire life- not even while I was killing everyone in my clan."
Then, the others turned to look at him, frozen with shock.
"You were laughing while you were killing your own family members?" Sasori asked, aghast.
The Uchiha looked at him as if he was the crazy one. "Of course I laughed. It was tragic and sad."
"Wait, what? That's even more fudged-up," Hidan breathed, horrified.
"No, no. That's not what I meant-"Itachi started to explain crazily, shaking his head feverishly.
Sasori started walking toward him. "Hey, calm down," he said soothingly.
"Ew, what the fuck?" Hidan asked, backing away. "Another fag?"
"Shut up, Hidan, yea!" Deidara shouted angrily, looking as if he was about to punch the religious man in the face.
"Hey, listen to me!" Itachi suddenly yelled irately. "I'm trying to fucking explain why I was laughing!"
"Why? Is it because you're insane?" Kakuzu inquired, smirking.
"Itachi, I know you. You beat your own brother up without any mercy. In fact, you were taking it out harder on him than you do to us," Kisame sighed, reminiscing on that day when the elder Uchiha had beaten the younger one up.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I WAS TRYING TO LAUGH BECAUSE I WAS TRYING NOT TO CRY!" Itachi roared loudly, looking quite red in the face.
"That didn't…make any sense…" Zetsu said quietly, hiding behind Hidan, afraid that the Uchiha was finally having a nervous breakdown.
Actually, he was. Well, it was more like an angry breakdown, but same difference.
"YOU KNOW WHAT?? (BLEEP) YOU GUYS, JUST GO (BLEEP) YOURSELVES, MOTHER(BLEEP)ERS!" Itachi screeched crazily, his hands tugging at his ponytail. "AND YOU KNOW WHAT? (BLEEP) THIS (BLEEP)ING PONYTAIL! I'M GOING TO HACK THE (BLEEP)ING THING OFF!"
Suddenly, the Uchiha ran over to the kitchen, grabbed a pair of scissors from a drawer, and roughly cut his ponytail off.
Yes, his long, split-end free ponytail.
It was gone.
The silky strands of hair fell to the floor, spilling in every direction. He evened out the sides and finally…
He looked normal.
His fearsome Sharingan was off, revealing his calm, black eyes.
His long, abnormal ponytail was cut off, a proper, normal haircut in its place.
He looked so much better.
In fact, the other Akatsuki members were glad that the Uchiha had the mental breakdown and cut his hair off. It was a much more refreshing look.
"YES!!!" Sasori suddenly burst out, jumping up in the air randomly.
"It's…gone…" Kisame choked out, crawling over to where all the jet black strands of hair were on the floor. Picking some up, he rubbed them between his fingers tearfully. "I never got to pull it…"
"Pull what?" Hidan asked incredulously, thinking of something very perverted.
"His ponytail, idiot, yea," Deidara replied, shooting him a dirty look.
"You actually look nice for once, Itachi," Zetsu told the Uchiha, complimenting him nicely.
"Thank you," Itachi said calmly, back to normal.
"That was the shortest mental breakdown I've ever seen," Sasori said, raising his eyebrow.
"Ugh, eyebrows," Kakuzu sighed.
"That's right, foo'," Jay-Z smiled, suddenly popping in out of nowhere.
"Oh, hello," Zetsu greeted the leader cheerfully.
"Hey man," he saluted back, punching him in the arm in a friendly way.
However, the punch really hurt poor Zetsu. The former plant-man grimaced and rubbed his arm.
"Ready to hit K-town?" Jay-Z smiled.
The others nodded, their faces set to 'emotionless and cold-hearted Akatsuki member' mode.
"A'ight. I'll just open this portal right here and…" the leader paused and chanted some spells under his breath.
Sasori was suspicious. It had sounded like a rap. He had heard:
"Oh, open this fucking portal.
Open it now or I'll cut yo' mama to pieces.
Open sesame!
Fuck it, fuck it. Now open, open!
Mmm…I like it raw, baby.
Chicken wings and drumsticks, chicken wings and drumsticks.
Turkey legs are no good. Get the real good KFC shit, dawg.
Taste the calories, fool!
Taste it or I'll shove it down yo' fucking throat!
Shove it, shove it.
You're pitiful.
You're a real pimp, a real playa'. Don't tuck that shirt in, leave it out. Pull down your pants until they're real low on yo' hips.
You look like a real nigga now. We, the black nation, we are the coolest.
We beat white people any day. Oh yea.
We beat Asians any day. Oh yea.
We beat Mexicans any day. Hispanics? What?
We beat Indians any day. Native Americans? Not anymore, that's straight up.
Racism is the best.
Damn right.
We rule the nation.
We rule the land of sexiness.
Only we can pull off this Hip-Hop thing, yo. Don't even try it or we'll shoot you, land a bullet in yo' chest.
Flip that cap on, turn it backwards.
Don't be hatin' cuz we're black.
Or we'll be hatin' cuz you're not.
This is why I'm hot. This is why I'm hot.
This is why- this is why- this is why I'm hot.
This is why you're not. Oh yea, that's damn right.
Sasori shook his head. Maybe he was hearing things. I mean, the leader wouldn't really say those kinds of things… right?
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the portal opened.
"Step in and it'll take us to Konoha!" Jay-Z announced.
Everyone entered the swirling purple vortex obediently.
Suddenly, they were transported to Konoha.
However, they had arrived in the Yamanaka flower shop for some strange reason.
"Ooh, hot blondie!" Jay-Z sucked his teeth and licked his lips seductively. He walked over to Ino and kissed her hand. "Hey pretty lady."
Ino pulled her hand back quickly as if she had just touched a hot potato. "Ew, gross!" he screeched, slapping Jay-Z in the face.
"Mmm…feisty. I like that in a woman," the leader smiled, rubbing his cheek.
Sasori sighed. Who knew the Akatsuki leader was a booby-chaser?
"Shit!" he heard Hidan cry. He turned around.
Itachi, Zetsu, and Deidara were looking around the flower shop.
"What's wrong?" Zetsu asked, turning around.
"Tobi, Kisame, and Kakuzu aren't here, and the portal closed!" Hidan cried, pointing to a blank spot in the wall where the portal used to be.
"They aren't necessary anyway," Itachi stated frostily.
"Ouch. That's harsh, yea," Deidara stated.
"It's true. They're fucking useless," Hidan shrugged. He started walking out of the shop. "Well, I don't know about you fuckers, but I'm going to go do some exploring."
"Same," Zetsu and Itachi said at the same time. They looked at each other weirdly, and raised their eyebrow.
"Oh, the eyebrows!" a voice suddenly yelled. They turned around, wondering how Kakuzu had gotten here.
It wasn't Kakuzu.
It was Sasori.
"You're obsessed with eyebrows now, yea?" Deidara asked, shocked.
"I think I caught the eyebrow-raising disease from Kakuzu. Whenever someone does something with their eyebrows, I get very disturbed," Sasori replied, looking slightly shaken up.
"Guys, let's go already," Zetsu huffed impatiently. He pulled the sleeve of Itachi's shirt and asked, "Itachi, your house is here, right?"
He nodded.
"I wanna see it," Sasori said, running up to the two and jumping into their conversation.
"I don't, yea," Deidara smirked. "I'm going to go shopping or something, yea."
Then, with a flourish, he left the flower shop.
"Why?" Hidan questioned, raising his eyebrow.
"Oh, the eyebrows!"
"WAIT!" Ino suddenly cried, also entering the conversation. "Itachi? Uchiha Itachi?"
Itachi nodded calmly.
Ino screamed very loudly.
Probably anyone within a 75-mile radius could hear it.
"Shit," Sasori breathed, cowering behind Zetsu. "They're going to come and kill us with their eyebrows!"
"Calm down, seriously," Hidan said carelessly. "We'll just kill them all. I need some new sacrifices for Jashin anyway."
Naruto and Sasuke were now in front of the flower shop, wondering what was going on.
Wait...Sasuke?
Wasn't he with Orochimaru?
Oh well.
"No sacrifices," Itachi told him sternly.
"Why the fuck not?" Hidan hissed impatiently.
Several ANBU shinobi had arrived in front of the shop. Naruto and Sasuke were standing behind them, peering at the bickering men strangely. They had come because to find out why Ino had screamed so loudly. They immediately figured the situation out and stood back, observing.
"It's against the Ten Commandments!" he shouted, gritting his teeth.
"Fuck you. Your religion's full of bull-"Hidan started to say, but then Itachi pounced on him, strangling him.
"Shut the fuck up, Hidan! You don't know shit about my religion!" the Uchiha yelled, shaking Hidan's head up and down.
Sasori and Zetsu grabbed Itachi's arms and tried to pull him off.
"Itachi, I thought you said your religion forbade you to kill people!" Zetsu shouted crossly, fed up with his comrade's religion.
Itachi froze, standing up and looking very perplexed.
Sasori looked at him oddly. "What's wrong, Itachi?"
Tsunade- along with Jiraiya and Kakashi- were now standing in front of the Akatsuki quartet, looking at the Akatsuki members oddly.
Suddenly, Itachi began to chuckle.
And he started laughing again.
Yes, I'm talking about the crazy laugh.
Well, it was evil now.
"MUAHAHAHA!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!" he cackled over and over again like a robot. His eyes were wild and his grin was very freaky.
Then, Hidan stood up and slapped Itachi.
The citizens of Konoha stared in shock. What was this?
What the gay raisin were the Akatsuki members doing?
They were bickering and slapping each other?
"You slapped me," Itachi whimpered, his voice shaking. He looked at Hidan the way a little boy looks up to his daddy when he's getting punished.
"You fucking deserved it. I'll fucking slap you again, if you want," Hidan stated, raising his eyebrow.
Sasori lunged at Hidan, but Zetsu held him back in time.
"IF YOU RAISE YOUR FUCKING EYEBROWS ONE MORE FUCKING TIME, I WILL RIP YOU APART, BLOW YOU UP, AND THEN EAT YOU SLOWLY, WHILE YOU'RE STILL FUCKING BREATHING!" he bellowed crazily.
"Excuse me," Tsunade suddenly said, interrupting their argument.
"What the fuck is it?" Itachi asked, annoyed. Turning around, he looked at the crowd that had formed in front of the flower shop. He finally realized that they had been watching him the whole time. "Holy shit…" he breathed, his eyes widening.
"Uchiha Itachi, is it?" Kakashi asked, raising his eyebrow. "What in the world happened to you?" he questioned, remembering how emotionless and cold the Uchiha used to be.
"The eyebrows," Sasori hissed, glaring at Kakashi as if he were his prey.
"Itachi, you're a fat mama," Zetsu suddenly said, letting go of Sasori.
Everyone looked at him oddly.
"What?" The Uchiha asked, narrowing his eyes angrily. "What the fudge did you just call me?"
"A fat mama," Zetsu smiled, chuckling. He was obviously calling for a death wish.
Another tiresome battle of insults began.
"Oh yea? Well, you're a urine-soaked pencil-like penguin!" Itachi shouted, saying the first things that came into his mind.
"You're a disgusting bar of chocolate-covered soap!" Zetsu yelled back.
And from then on, the argument went like this:
Itachi: "Teletubby-watching adolescent!"
Zetsu: "Fat, bald gorilla-like loser!"
Itachi: "Barbecue-covered meatball!"
Zetsu: "Barney-obsessed pedophile!"
Itachi: "Pink, pickled piece of pasta!"
Zetsu: "Fugly farty-pants!"
Itachi: "Disgusting, belching beaver!"
The others sat down and just watched, amused. They kept quiet, wanting to see what else Zetsu and Itachi had to say at each other.
And then they started on the 'Yo Mama' jokes.
Zetsu: "Oh yea? Well, yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise!"
Itachi: "Yo mama so fat she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller!"
Zetsu: "Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read 'one at a time, please!' Fucker!"
Itachi: "Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks! Douche bag!"
Zetsu: "Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and Skittles came out! Bastard!"
Itachi: "Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread! Asshole!"
Zetsu: "Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death! Shit-head!"
Itachi: "Yo mama so ugly when she was born the Doctor smacked her face. Slutty bitch!"
Zetsu faltered a little and said shakily, "Oh y-yea? W-w-well, at least I-I'm not a…" he paused.
Itachi noticed this and smiled triumphantly. "That's what I thought."
Fed up with the bad treatment he was receiving, Zetsu yelled, "UCHIHA ITACHI IS A GAY, PORN-WATCHING BULIMIC IMBECILE!"
Itachi froze. "Zetsu, you promised you wouldn't tell," he whispered. His quiet whisper was loud enough for everyone to hear though.
Zetsu cackled evilly.
"You're bulimic?" Tsunade asked, appalled.
"You watch porn?" Jiraiya gaped, his eyes now the size of saucers.
"You're gay?" Hidan asked, raising his eyebrows. "Damn, not another fag in the Akatsuki…"
"Eyebrows…" Sasori muttered, disturbed.
"No, it's not true!" Itachi cried frantically, his eyes revealing everything.
It was the truth.
Well, except for maybe the gay part.
"It is true, Itachi. Admit it," Zetsu sneered meanly.
"I'm not gay. I'm bi," the Uchiha stated monotonously, returning back to his original self.
Now everyone was staring.
"What?" Sasori gaped.
Zetsu raised his eyebrows.
Sasori had it. That was the last straw. The puppet master snapped.
He grabbed Zetsu's white, Tall-T shirt tightly and socked him right in the mouth.
"STOP WITH THE GODDAMN EYEBROWS!" Sasori roared madly.
Hidan whacked Sasori on the head hard, knocking him out. His body slumped into Hidan's arms.
"Hidan, that was completely unnecessary," Itachi pointed out calmly.
"You're back to normal?" Zetsu asked, wiping his bloody mouth.
Itachi nodded.
"What's bulimia?" Naruto suddenly asked aloud stupidly.
"It's when you vomit your food," Neji informed him wisely.
"Ew! Why would you want to do that?" he asked innocently, appalled.
"No wonder you're so fat," Itachi muttered, loud enough for him and several other people to hear.
"So you are bulimic?" Sasuke suddenly asked, interested. "Does it work? Did you lose weight?"
Itachi, just now noticing that he was here, shouted joyously, "Sasuke, my brother! COME JUMP INTO MY ARMS!" He stretched his arms out to his sides, ready to hug him.
The others looked at him strangely.
"Itachi, are you feeling…okay?" Hidan asked, raising his eyebrow.
Zetsu snickered, and then coughed roughly, trying to pretend that he hadn't laughed at all.
Hidan looked at Zetsu suspiciously. "Zetsu, what the fuck did you do to Itachi?"
He smiled maliciously. "Oh, you know...I just put a little bit of cocaine and crack in his water bottle that he drinks every morning. I was wondering when it was going to kick in."
Itachi frowned. "Sasuke, I said, 'COME JUMP INTO MY ARMS!'" he shouted impatiently, frustrated with his brother's lack of obedience. He stomped over to Sasuke and swiftly gripped his right ear, pulling it hard.
Sasuke, wincing painfully, kicked Itachi in the side. "I will kill you," he spat hatefully, glaring at his elder brother with detest.
"But I love you!" Itachi cried morosely.
The younger Uchiha looked at him as if he had just mooned him. "…What?"
The older Uchiha chuckled and then realized his mistake.
He said that he loved him.
I mean- an older brother saying 'I love you' to his younger brother?
That's like taboo in the rules of siblings.
"Sweet mother of bananas," Itachi breathed, frightened. What a mess he had gotten himself into!
"Sweet mother of bananas? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sasuke inquired, raising his eyebrow.
At this point, Sasori had woken up from his slumber and arose groggily. Hidan had dropped him from his arms on the floor not too long ago, so he had this thumping headache.
He saw Sasuke.
Remembering the dream he had with Sasuke and Orochimaru, he paled.
"Holy shit," he swore aloud.
Everyone turned to him, surprised that he recovered so quickly from his previous knock-out that he had received from Hidan.
"You raped me," Sasori said, pointing to Sasuke accusingly.
Everyone turned their attention to Sasuke.
"What?" Everyone asked, baffled.
"Yea, seriously. What?" the younger Uchiha asked, completely confused and surprised for once in his life.
Jay-Z walked out of the shop and thumped all four of the Akatsuki members on the head. "Talk in the nigg' language, fools!" he yelled irately.
"Oh, right!" Sasori exclaimed, remembering.
"Fine," Itachi said monotonously, rolling his eyes discreetly. "Yo, mah' brutha'. Why'd you rape mah' homie?"
Sasuke now looked very frightened. "Wha-what are you saying?"
Itachi exhaled sharply and repeated, "Why'd you rape mah' homie, yo?"
"Straight up, G," Sasori added.
"I didn't," Sasuke replied, raising his eyebrow.
"Don't raise yo' eyebrow, foo'. It's irritating me," Sasori sighed.
"Hey, y'all got any hot chicks here man?" Zetsu suddenly asked.
Then, he spotted Sakura and Hinata.
"Woo, they fine!" he whooped, walking over to them and smiling goofily.
Sakura and Hinata looked at him, feeling very disturbed.
"Nigg, let's hit K-town already," Itachi drawled to Jay-Z.
The leader snorted and said, "We're already in it, foo'."
It was then that the Uchiha finally realized that 'K-town' was 'Konoha'.
"Shit!" he swore, comprehending something else. "I'm not dreaming."
"You just noticed that?" Hidan asked.
Itachi sighed, calmly walked over to a nearby pole, and…
He started banging his head on it repeatedly.
"What the fudge, yea!" Deidara yelled. He had just come back and was carrying several shopping bags.
"You're so emo, aniki," Sasuke sighed, shaking his head. For some reason, all the hate he had for his brother was replaced with pity and shock.
Everyone looked at him, feeling a little sick.
I mean, come on. Everyone knows that Sasuke's the emo in the Uchiha clan.
Man, my family's pissing me off so much. They won't leave me alone! Or maybe it's just because I've been really stressed lately with school and uploading my story once a week and all... T.T
There's going to be a Friday Part II. I just had to cut it into two parts.
I hope you guys are having a better life than I am:)
And I also hope you guys will have time to review my story. ;)