Because of the successful removal of his mother's portrait, Sirius deemed the house to be livable once more. After an awkward, but amusing meal, he tromped up stairs to his old bedroom. It was almost how he left it, bed against the wall, posters of scantily clad ladies straddling motorcycles, and clothes scattered about the floor and over the back of his chair. He leaned in close to look at the clothes, wondering how it was that his clothes were still where he had left them after so many years. Then he recognized those simple patches and careful stitching up of holes. He never would have worn rags like that. Flopping down onto the bed and burying his face in the pillow, he knew that smell almost as well as he knew his own.
Lupin had been sleeping in his room while he had banished himself to the backyard. For some reason that thought made him smile in an uncontrollable way. There was something charming about his friend sleeping in his old bed.
As the sound of footsteps reached his ears, the sound of Remus coming upstairs for bed, Sirius's smile turned into a grin. He quickly transfigured himself into the scruffy black dog that felt almost more like himself than his human self did, and slipped beneath the nearest pile of clothes. He burrowed until he was sure that none of him showed and then made himself as still as possible, waiting for the werewolf to return to his lair.
The door opened and Remus came looking tired. He paused and looked around the room, his eyes taking in the pillow that was not where it should be and how the blankets were not as smooth as they were when he left that morning for work. He looked a bit suspicious at first, and Sirius was worried that his plan would not work, but Lupin simply shrugged to himself and started to get ready for bed. His jacket was tossed over the chair and his shirt followed. As he turned around to get into the little wardrobe against the wall, the animagus saw his chance. He leapt from the pile of clothes, sending pants and socks up into the air. He aimed a flying tackle at the slender back of his friend, but it was as if Lupin knew that he was coming, because he turned smoothly around, wand in hand and cast a simple petrifaction spell.
Sirius fell to the floor, stone stiff, and could only see the movement of his friend from the corner of his peripheral vision. Remus loomed closer, kneeling down to put his face beside the scruffy black muzzle. "Next time you're hiding, make sure that your tail isn't wagging." He gave Sirius a rough little head scratch and gently tugged on one of the dark velvety ears. "Yawning out the counter spell, Remus finished getting ready for bed. "I don't know why I let you get away with so much. You're a trouble maker, you know that?"
"I think you like trouble." Sirius had shifted back into his human form and was laying across the bed, taking up as much room as he could while watching his friend changing clothes, and silently convincing himself that there was nothing at all strange about it.
"No." He looked over his shoulder and gave a small smile. "I would be more than happy to settle down and have a peaceful life." He walked over to the bed and frowned slightly. "How long are you staying in here? I have work in the morning."
"This is my room." He settled his back more firmly against the mattress. "But if you ask nice I might let you stay."
Lupin rubbed his eyes. "Not tonight, Padfoot. I don't think I have the energy for anymore of your games."
"Games?" He sat up. "But you were doing so well earlier."
"I just don't think I can keep up with you. Not when you're dishing out so many horrific pickups. And I am emphasizing the whore-riffic part of them."
Sirius clapped his hands and let out a sharp barking laugh. "Good one. See, you can be good at this game, too." He rolled slightly to one side so that Remus could join him on the bed.
The werewolf sat and eyed his friend wearily before laying back beside him. He knew by the mischievous look that he was receiving that he would not be getting much sleep if he did not just comply with the simple demands.
"Come on, do another one."
"I'm no good at this. This was you and James's game." He laid an arm over his eyes.
"I could let you borrow some of my old ones I don't use anymore."
He sighed softly. "You can't be serious." He just wanted to go to sleep.
"I'm dead serious." Then he grinned his manic grin and started laughing again. "Do you get it?"
Remus thought for a moment and smiled slightly. At least exchanging puns was a bit better than the conversation on the stairwell that had continued throughout the meal. "I get it."
"You know, I once dated a girl with a wooden leg… but she broke it off." His laughter continued and Lupin felt his smile start to grow. "Do you know what a Freudian slip is?" He rolled over to look better at his friend. "It's when you say one thing but mean your mother."
Remus started laughing softly. He couldn't help himself.
"Come on, now you give one."
"I don't have anything." He tried to gently remove his friend from the bed so that he could get some sleep, all laughter and bad puns aside.
"If you can't give me one, I will have to keep going, and I'm almost out of the clean ones." He scooched to the side for Remus, letting him crawl under the blankets.
Remus thought as hard as he could and considered just putting the hex back on Sirius and getting some sleep. "How many Hufflepuffs does it take to light a wand?" He said through another yawn as he tried to ignore the eager look on Sirius's face that was far too close to his own. "It doesn't really matter, as long as they tried their hardest, that's all that counts."
Sirius just stared at him blankly and then shook his head. "That was… bloody awful. You told an awful joke, I think I might be ashamed to be your friend."
"Oh, bugger off." Remus tried to roll over and escape the crazy man who was still on the bed.
The crazy man under consideration leaned down and kissed Remus's cheek as a way of saying goodnight. "We can try again tomorrow when you get back from work… are you blushing again?"
"I am not blushing. Grown men do not blush. I am simply overly warm under these blankets with you half laying on top of me." He tried not to sound as exasperated as he felt, despite how difficult his friend was being, he didn't want to snap at him.
Sirius still looked a bit taken aback at the almost harsh words from his friend. He lowered his head and changed back into a shaggy dog, laying his head on Remus's chest as a sort of pitiful apology. A ghost of a smile passed over the man's face. "Goodnight, Padfoot."
Remus lay awake for much longer than he planned, petting the long soft ears that would twitch occasionally from his grasp. It was in those starry hours before the dawn that Remus realized that there in that bed, with his best mate beside him, that that is where he wanted to be. It felt like home. Even if there were women of ill repute on the walls and he was sure at this point that the chair smelled of dirty laundry—the familiar weight of Sirius against his side and the soft dog breath the occasionally stirred his lightly graying hair, were welcoming.
He rolled to curl around the hulking shape of his friend in a tired embrace, before lightly kissing the rough black fur that covered his pointed muzzle. He mouthed the words 'I love you', not willing to voice those dreaded words out loud for fear of what horrible calamity might suddenly befall them both. It was enough finally have sorted out how he felt. He had loved the gangly madman like a brother since they were eleven. He was years past that now, so far that he was willing to believe that the whole thing had just been a dream. Now he was getting old and even if his body still felt young, his hair was grayed at the temples and sometimes his knees hurt when rain was coming. Now that all he had left was Sirius, he felt it might be ok, even if only to himself, if he started to think of the man as something more than a brother. Brothers, after all, did not corner another naked in the kitchen and ask to visit one another's 'restricted sections'. The memory of Sirius dishing out that line alone made him smile. Even if Sirius had only been teasing, Remus liked to pretend that it meant a little more, because to him, it did.
The events of the next morning made Remus want to rethink his stance of the pre-decided, silent man-crush. When he awoke it was not to soft puppy breath or to tender puppy eyes. It was to the, far closer than he should be, once more stark naked, long armed, sleeping body of Sirius Black. Sirius lay on his back examining the ceiling for many long, deep breaths. He had no idea why the man was naked again, but it was either because he got too warm during the night, or simply because he enjoyed tormenting his friend. It wasn't so bad, and almost easy to ignore, until Sirius looped one of his long arms around Remus and pulled their bodies closer.
Remus remembered why there had been curtains around their beds when they had been in school. The awkward poking he was receiving to his left hip was an all too clear reminder of his own uncomfortable teenaged mornings that he had outgrown, but apparently Sirius had not. He tried to gently free himself from his friend who had come to resemble something of a harry octopus. Sirius mumbled in annoyance and slipped a leg around the werewolf also.
"Just a bit longer." His voice was heavy with sleep and his eyes had not bothered to open.
"I've got work." He continued his efforts of untangling himself, being mindful of where his hands were.
"I'm almost done." He mumbled with a nuzzle of his shaggy head and a subtle (but to Lupin scandalous) tilt of his hips.
"Absolutely not." He did not yell, but his voice had taken on a note of panic. There were just some things that friends did not do for each other and did not need to witness each other doing. Despite the tightness in his chest and the warmth to his cheeks, he wanted no part in whatever Sirius was doing. He knew his mate did not fancy him that way, and Remus had no want to be a stand in for whoever was gallivanting, undoubtedly naked, in his friend's dreams.
Sirius finally opened his pale gray eyes and looked at the man he was enveloping in a full bodied bear hug. "G'morning, Ducky." He looked to be waking up fully and as he shifted and even had the decency to look a little embarrassed. He chuckled softly. "G'morning." He repeated with a soft chuckle, but it seemed that the last greeting was more to himself then the red-faced man he had yet to release.
"Let go of me, you trollop. I've got to go to work."
"It's Saturday." He buried his face into the soft part of Remus's neck, to escape the sunlight coming in the open window.
"I work Saturdays too." He had difficulty getting the words out.
"Tell them to sod off. Stay home with me." He growled playfully against his friend's ear. "I'll make it worth your while."
The offer was almost too much. But Remus was firmly in his closet on the matter and refused. After all, it wasn't a real offer. "You have nothing to offer that I want."
"Your rosie cheeks say different, mate." He copied the same move he had the before dinner only hours ago. With a growl his teeth captured the soft curve of Remus's ear. And he was rewarded with a sharp elbow to the ribs.
"Stop it. Just because you're gagging for a shag doesn't mean that I want to be your warm up practice. So stop being… you." He freed himself finally and stood, hair a mess and pants slightly askew.
"Calm down, Mooney. You're acting like a woman. It's not like a fancy you." He smirked. "I don't want you, mate. Not even for practice."
Remus stiffened, not knowing why that hurt as much as it did. He just stood there, looking gobsmacked and not knowing what to say. He decided to let his face settle somewhere between anger and apathy as he ran a hand through his hair and grabbed some clothes for the day.
Sirius looked almost… serious for the first time in weeks, but it was ruined by a sly smile that crinkled up the edges of his eyes. "When you get angry, you're a right sexy bastard. Did you know that?"
"Cheeky." Was all he could manage before fleeing the room and locking himself in the bathroom so he could find some peace before having to go to work.
Sirius lay in bed, listing to the shower running, wondering to himself exactly what had just happened. He had tried to just carry it off like he always did, but the look that Remus had given him had hurt. It wasn't often that he was shot down so expertly. Not with normal people, Remus had been shooting him down for over a decade. It hurt a bit less each time, not because he knew that he was wearing the man down, he was just desensitizing himself to the sting of those words.
He pulled the pillow over his head and breathed softly, attempting to catch the dream that had gone darting away far too early for his tastes. But it remained elusive and all he could think about was the way that Remus had been watching him for days, and they way that he kept blushing. A niggling little thought crept into his mind. It was something that he had not considered since his Hogwarts days.
Pulling on some pants (he knew how his flagrant nudity could be upsetting to his delicate roommate) he dashed downstairs, eager to intercept Remus before he made it to the fireplace. "Remy, don't grab that floo powder." He stumbled slightly on the turned up edge of a rug that decorated the floor of the library.
Remus paused and gave his friend an almost icy stare. "What now, Sirius?"
"I…" It had all sounded so nice in his mind as he rehearsed it years ago. But he was younger than, and the words seemed stupid now. He shrugged and just went for it, figure at this point in his life he had nothing to lose, because if Remus got angry, he could always just pretend he was joking. "All of my young life, I searched for someone to love, someone to make me complete. I choose partners and changed partners. I danced to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, someone perfect was searching for me." He had to bite his lip. It had sounded so much cooler when he was young and first realized how he felt about the frowning man before him. Now it just sounded hokey and he wanted to take it back.
"What are you going on about?" Remus glanced at the clock above the mantel; he was going to be late for work.
The cards already seemed like they were on the table, he took a sharp breath and asked the one question that he had never quite gotten out when they were younger. "Do you fancy me?"
Remus's face took on the same pink that he had been sporting almost all week. He frowned deeper. "I don't want to play this game anymore, Sirius. I have to go to work now."
"Damn it, Remus, just answer the question." He strode across the room to be beside him, looking down he saw the same look that he knew must be mirrored in his own eyes.
"Just stop it, alright?" He straightened and tried to keep his face blank.
"I love you. I don't care if you believe me or not. Moony, I've loved you since I was fourteen."
It all sounded too good to be true. Remus held his breath, hoping that Sirius wasn't just poking fun at him again. "Sirius, I… you're not putting me on, are you?"
He laughed, that familiar bark sounding off the old walls. "I love you… I love everything about you, Moony. I love that you get cold when it's seventy degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to take a shower. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell you on my clothes, and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night… I just love you."
Remus finally breathed again. "If you are teasing me, I will never talk to you again."
He didn't need to say anything, and didn't feel that Remus did either. The look on his face was enough for Sirius to know that he felt the same. He pulled his dearest friend in and kissed him soundly, reveling that for the first time ever, Remus was kissing back.
They stood together, just holding and feeling whole, until Sirius couldn't take it anymore. "Hey, Remus?"
Remus looked up like he was drowning, and the happiest man alive to be doing so. "Yeah?"
"If I told you you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?" He whispered the words and grinned at the soft laughter that he received. Kissing Remus's nose he chuckled too. "Your turn."
"I…" He bit his lip, trying to think. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good?" He asked hopefully.
Sirius just stared down blankly at him.
Remus chuckled and shrugged. "I told you I was no good at this."
"That was bloody brilliant, mate." He kissed him again, pulling him away from the fireplace. "Bloody brilliant."