She ate in silence, despite now being in the company of a servant who brought her stew and arl Eamon. She assumed he must have just been examining her, attempting to equate whether she was going to experience another outburst. The more he stared, the more she was tempted.

Alone with her thoughts, the mage wondered if there were possibly another reason that she lived after the events on Fort Drakon. The more she thought about it however, the more farfetched and unlikely her hopes became. She was certain of it. She was eating for two … and the child probably was not human. How could she admit this to Alistair? That he would have his own royal bastard running about that would probably look like a darkspawn? She choked on a potato in her stew.

"Don't die now," Eamon said, almost seriously, "I don't know how I'd explain that to the Wardens."

Illusen forced a smile in his direction, as this was undoubtedly true. She cursed inwardly, the Wardens might want to study her and her unborn child and their interactions if they let the Old God live. They might wish her executed, and this would be welcome. Worse than that would be if the child was born without any oddities and was treated as the child of any mage … and taken by the Chantry. This would break her heart more than if the child was born as an abomination as she did not feel that in any way she had shown qualities that would make her an unfit mother, and though only having a short lifespan being a Grey Warden, it would be long enough for the child to come of age. After having been willing to die against the archdemon, Illusen felt she had earned the right to raise her offspring if it so happened that they were not born a horrible monster. She also guessed that none of these issues would concern her if the child was of awkward shape and bone structure, and simply ripped her to shreds during the pregnancy or birth.

The mage shuddered and took a larger mouthful. Eamon assumed that she was still feeling unwell and was glad that Alistair should be arriving soon, as though he normally would take charge over a situation such as this, in a fashion that would ensure the benefits of the whole, his thoughts on what those actions might be were unforgiving, given the circumstances. His only solace was that the mage appeared to be in control of her actions; or at least, whatever entity had taken control of her actions appeared to be uninterested in taking an immediate destructive path, and so instead he would wait. Yet he hoped that the Grey Wardens would be able to either say that they did or did not sense the archdemon when presented to Illusen so that her physical fate could be decided soon. He did not want to have to babysit a woman who could be making her way.

A messenger ran into the unpretentious dining hall that Illusen had been moved to after the arl approved the preparation of a small meal, despite the hour.

"They're here," he stated in a huff and hurriedly behind him there was the Warden's messenger, identifiable by the griffon inlaid on his leather chest piece. In the distance the clattering of armor could be heard as the royal guard approached. Illusen pushed her bowl away and stood in time with Eamon.

"Salutations, Etienne," Eamon greeted, "this is Illusen, the Grey Warden who survived the archdemon. Illusen, this is Etienne, a messenger from the Orlesian Grey Wardens, and, as I understand it, a new recruit to complete his joining upon returning with news."

Illusen nodded at the firm looking man. He had a strong neck and thick eyebrows to match. As Ser Jory had, Illusen was sure this man thought he was the cream of the crop for having been chosen to join the Wardens. She hoped he survived his joining in the cruelest of ways.

"It is good to see you conscious, if it is you in there," Etienne said gruffly, to which Illusen replied only by raising an eyebrow as she wondered how he would make such a distinction. The arl sighed and nodded in accordance, but no one said any more of this, as Alistair and his fellows made his way into the room.

"You're … you're alive," he sputtered, for the second time they'd known each other. Illusen likened his sad eyes to her own composure and freely expressed a statement she had withheld the last time he had greeted her as such,

"It takes more than a few darkspawn to kill me."

"So it would seem," Etienne interjected as he examined the mage with his chin held high. Illusen was glad to have had the opportunity to change into some proper robes before being ogled in this manner.

Alistair gave Etienne a sideways glance Illusen rightly associated with the look he had given Riordan upon expressing interest in making Loghain a Warden. This was a dislike she'd never thought she'd see him associate with another of his brothers ever again. She was pleased.

The arl proceeded to dismiss the servant with the remaining stew and encouraged Alistair's guards to take to the hall with Cullen and the other guard stationed just outside the door. Soon it was just he, Illusen, Alistair and Etienne sitting at the table in awkward silence.

"Do you have any idea why you may be alive?" Etienne asked directly. "I must start on my run back to our brethren very soon. I hope to leave before dawn, and any information you have that I could provide to them for deliberations before arriving would be very helpful."

Alistair spoke first as he placed his hands on the table, "I wouldn't have asked it in that way but … yes. Illusen, is there anything you can think of that might explain … this? I mean, I've been mulling it over and the only difference I can associate between yourself and the other Grey Wardens to die in the act, is your being a mage – well, and a woman; but it can't be that simple, can it?"

"I …I wish it were," Illusen replied as she shifted uneasily in her chair. "I know what's wrong … Alistair, could I tell you first? Alone?"

"Absolutely not!" boomed the arl, as Illusen expected. She allowed her eyes to close gently, and hoped that this would disguise that she was holding back tears. He continued, "We do not know if this is your fellow Grey Warden, a demon from the Fade or the archdemon itself - and even if it is Illusen looking to speak with you now, she could unwittingly be the host of such a monstrosity that could release itself at any moment."

"I can guarantee you that the information I share with Alistair will prove that this is not the case, or else, if I am wrong, and I have become an abomination, I promise that I will at least fight long enough for Alistair to call for help, or else escape. I fought for his reign too, and I would not see his life ended by my hands," Illusen insisted, as she tried not to look too emotional.

"We can't trust your word right now," Etienne said coldly. All three persons looked at him, as his comfort in this unfamiliar situation was disturbing.

"He's right though … you know. We can't trust your word," Alistair confirmed, and Illusen's heart throbbed. "But we can trust mine - and I say that I can handle myself alone for five minutes. I'd done fine up until being crowned king. If anything happens, I won't be reckless." He finished his statement while giving Eamon a harsh eye, and there was an understanding between the two men. Then the redhead addressed Etienne as one might a boy coming of age, "If you are late you can blame me, they will be familiar with my name and will be sympathetic to your cause."

Etienne growled as he shoved himself away from the table and agreed to the terms, "Fine."

Arl Eamon didn't dare ask if Alistair was sure, as he was sure he was, and so instead gave him a nervous look as he drudged out of the room.