When the door had closed Alistair smiled grimly and rose from his spot diagonal to Illusen to take the one next to her. He placed a heavily armored arm around her figure … and she did not move. She turned to face him ever slowly and took a deep breath before she spoke,

"I know you didn't question Morrigan leaving like she did -"

"Morrigan?!" piped Alistair, but the look Illusen gave him shut him up immediately, and he knew to remain silent at least for this part of her story.

"Yes. Morrigan." Illusen continued, "She was in my room the night before the battle, after we spoke with Riordan. I chased her away… She told me why Flemeth sent her with us. She told me it would save any of us from dying if we struck the archdemon. I turned her away … and I should have died, but I didn't.

"She wanted to perform an ancient ritual … if not blood magic then black magic at least … and conceive a child with you that night."

Illusen paused, wondering if Alistair might understand, but though he looked stunned, he didn't appear to, so she continued, "She wanted me to convince you to lay with her as part of this ritual, so that we both might survive. If you had done this, the child was to bear the taint, and act as a beacon when the archdemon was slain. She claimed that at this young age the child would not die from the exchange and would simply bear the soul of the Old God… I couldn't let her do that. I couldn't live with myself knowing how you would feel about it and how it would destroy the life of a potential human being … I ran her away.

"I didn't know then that I was pregnant … but I'm certain of it now. This is how I survived … and I don't know what it means …"

After sitting perfectly still for a matter of minutes, Alistair removed his arm from Illusen's shoulders, and took to his feet. He paced around the room scratching at his forehead, resisting the urge to cry out or throw the table, for fear of attracting unwanted company. He was glad she had told him first. He took a seat on the floor and wiped his hands down his face, "I don't know what that means either …"

He was enraged and terrified. If only he had continued to deny her the bed laying she had asked of him… If only he had completed his templar vows before Duncan had used the right of conscription… If only she had died… It was a terrible thought that crossed his mind, but it was there in the depths of his heart's shadows. If Illusen had died, he would be spared this torture and embarrassment, and her this pain, and the Grey Wardens' this mystery.

"You are king," Illusen mumbled. "You could order me executed and tell the Grey Wardens I was dangerous. No one would blame you."

Alistair groaned harshly as he took back to his feet, "Don't be ridiculous -"

"Alistair. I am harboring an Old God, whether that means it will be born to look as a beast, or simply act like one … I can't think of one person who'd take the risk of having something like this come into existence," Illusen said, but her voice trembled and her eyes swelled up with tears again and she was glad of not having been presented with a knife with her meal, as she would have gouged out her innards in a moment such as this. "Morrigan … She didn't elaborate on what it meant that the child would have the taint and the soul of an Old God - but we know that an archdemon is simply an Old God subject to the taint so we can assume …"

"We can assume the worst," Alistair admit, and Illusen was surprised to find him sitting back next to her, with a glove off and a hand on her back, "but that won't change my mind. I'm not going to have you killed for unwittingly having my child and surviving a death from an archdemon. Don't tell me you thought for one moment that I would even consider that …"

Illusen pursed her lips and nodded grimly. She felt wholly embarrassed and wiped at her face frantically despite the fact that Alistair seemed unperturbed by her state. In truth the man was greatly disturbed, but he wouldn't place more stress on Illusen just so he could freak out. The child … or demon … or whatever, could be killed after birth if it did show signs of being … not human; but there was no reason to hurt the mage, she was innocent, and already if this was the truth it meant that an innocent child … his innocent child had died. There was no reason to lose its mother as well.

"What will we tell the Wardens?" asked the woman, now calm and complacent.

"Well, we have to tell them the truth … or else they'd find out anyway right?" he tried to make light, but his reply was not as witty as it could have been. His heart was obviously heavy and Illusen reached out to touch his jaw.

"I'm sorry …" she cooed.

He smiled warmly and took hold of her hand, "There now," he kissed her fingers, "there's no sense crying over … spilt -"

"Unspilt."

" - unspilt …er … uh." Alistair stopped and Illusen giggled. "That's enough of that," he declared. "I'm glad I got you to smile about something stupid in this moment together."

"Me too … I won't see a lot of you in the years to come, will I?"

"Let's just … take this one step at a time," begged the man. Although in all likelihood she spoke the truth, he wouldn't want to abandon an illegitimate family the way his father had. He thought of the dwarves and their culture and the idea of being allowed a concubine to rise up a woman from a lower class to meet his own. But even if that were an option, it just seemed so offensive to everyone involved, and was inconceivable to the young man.

"The Chantry …" Illusen whispered, and Alistair cursed. She continued, "Do you think they'd dare?"

"Yes. Probably." Alistair answered curtly as his mind raced, but he froze when one of Illusen's small hands clawed at his armor as she stared straight ahead, unable to face him with her plight,

"Don't let them take my child … if it is a child …"

Alistair nodded meekly and pulled the slender woman closer to him. He kissed her forehead and squeezed her gently before letting go, so that he could get the door and invite the others to hear the news. Illusen knew it was his goodbye. He was a noble man and now a nobleman, and it was not his fault he could not attend to this issue. She shared the news of her pregnancy and what she knew it meant, claiming her knowledge came from old tomes in the Circle Tower, and omitting any reference to Morrigan. Arl Eamon made it very clear to all of them, even Etienne, that no one but them and the Grey Wardens were to be told the child was Alistair's as his reputation could not be slandered so deeply with a reign so fresh. Alistair was upset by this, as he knew that his paternity was only unquestioned because everyone knew Maric had been … frivolous, but if the child was born a beast it was probably best if it had no claim on the throne.