The night is a dark, rich velvet, that reminds me of the blankets Father Maxwell covered the altar with at the end of the day so it wouldn't gather dust. If I could touch the air, I know it would be just as soft. So for this single moment, I stand amongst the shadowy forms of the trees, my eyes seeking the silvery, elusive ghost of the moon just beyond the leaves. Deathscythe lies at my feet, the earthy tarp I use to conceal him lying at his feet. Light gleams from every available surface, leaving an almost god-like feel about him. As much as I don't want to, I have to break the spell and get moving. We've got only a short amount of time to gather at the rendezvous point set up by Heero.
Since we hid our Gundams in separate locations, we're split up for the moment. That won't last long, however, though I actually can't say I'm thrilled about that. It's been a mad dash to get out of the school the second Heero got rid of Relena. How he did, is up for question, but I'm not going to try to figure it out. Relena Peacecraft is a sore spot for me, for more than one reason. I'm not going to go into great detail, just suffice it to say she has the power to take what I want. Or did want. Hell if I know exactly what that is anymore.
It just gets to a point where you're tired. Stupid me if I never said my feelings for Heero aloud. I just couldn't strip myself that way. I'm not a psychiatrist, but maybe that in itself is a sign. It's hard to tell. I'm just a psychotic Gundam pilot. I think a psychiatrist would take issue with that more than my screwed up love life. It's a toss up as to which is the more interesting, however.
Drawing my hand across my face, I lower my head and stare at my Gundam.
"Just you and me, Deathscythe, like it always is."
Getting us withdrawn from the school was apparently easy. I didn't ask, and Heero didn't volunteer, but I suppose I trust him. He's probably one of the best hackers I've ever met. It's unlike me to give anyone the ability to control my next move this way, but Heero honestly doesn't have a manipulative bone in his body. That's one thing I did like about him. No games. Straight-forward, focused, and dedicated. That's Heero. On the flip side, he's not in touch with his emotions, he's practically obsessed with his missions, and he tends to be very critical. But he's amazing. And beautiful. It's just not enough any longer. I couldn't make up for his lack of caring by giving more. I'd bleed myself dry.
It's not like I only now realized this. It's been there, at the back of my mind, for some time now. I was being a fool and ignoring it. I'm good at ignoring the things I don't like. Maybe I thought this whole school thing could last longer. Maybe I thought some time alone together would make a difference. Maybe I don't even know _what_ I thought. Seeing him with Relena just stirred it all up and shoved it to the surface. Slapped me in the face, I guess. It was time to quit being blind. I don't know if Heero will ever find it in him to feel something for another person. He's never been given that chance. And I'm not sure I'm the right person to teach him.
Not that it hurts any less. Giving up has never been my style. But I've tried everything short of throwing myself at him to get him to notice. I've got some pride. There's no way I'm lowering myself so far as to do that. It brings to mind the image of Relena, and the way she clings to him with such desperation. As if he's her anchor, the only thing that keeps her from sinking. I'm too independent for that. I need to be a separate person outside of a relationship. I'd feel cornered and smothered otherwise. Besides, we're in the middle of a war. It really isn't the time for this.
Yeah, but try telling that to these stupid feelings I still have and can't turn off as easily as I'd like to.
I'll get over it. I'll survive. After all, I've done it before. I've lived through worse pain. In comparison, this is mild. I'm probably doing myself a favor in the long run. Better to let it go now before it's too late and I'm in over my head. Maybe if I thought it could ever be different, I'd take that risk. But we've been fighting for a long time now, and things between Heero and I haven't changed. As selfish as it sounds, I deserve more. When this is all over, I deserve to have someone who could care for me as much as I could them. It's give and take. There's no way to measure it, but when the costs far outweigh the benefits, discontentment sets in and someone gets hurt. I'd just as soon that not be me.
Well, I think that's enough exploration of the depths of my soul. Any deeper, and I might start to frighten you. That, and I need to get out of here. If I'm late, Heero'll chastise me for being irresponsible. You can always count on Heero for those wonderful lectures. Nevermind, they only consist of a few words said in a near monotone. They're quite effective.
Hefting myself up along Deathscythe's torso, I skirt across his massive chest and slid easily into the cockpit. It feels good to be here. Familiar, and oddly comforting. The darkness seems to add another element to that, and I have Heero to thank for it. He insisted we leave late at night to keep from being noticed. Made perfect sense to me, so I didn't challenge it. Whatever he is, Heero's a brilliant tactician. I've seen his skills put to work before, and that's enough for me. Nothing can beat a first hand account. It makes all the difference.
My fingers fly rapidly across the keys, pressing in perfect confidence and the knowledge that I know what I'm doing. Lights flash on in answer to my ministrations as Deathscythe comes alive around me. The warmth and hum of the machinery is like a greeting, as if my Gundam is happy to see me. Calm settles in, my thoughts of before fleeing as Shinigami pushes to take control. This place is recognizable to him. It's where he lives, and I sleep. But right now, he isn't needed.
"Not now," I murmur aloud, eyes narrowing as I examine the scroll of coordinates on my radar.
The meeting place isn't far from here. About fifteen miles at the most. I guess Heero so mistrusted the arrival of Relena with regards to what she might unknowingly bring with her, he wanted to discuss our next move someplace secret and secluded. It'll probably be another school we'll go to, where we can finish out the year. After that, I think we'll go our separate ways. I know we all have things we want to do. Things that don't have anything to do with the rest of us. I only wonder why we waited so long. Why we've spent this much time together. No, I know why I have. To keep from being alone just a little bit longer.
Working quickly, I pull Deathscythe to an upright position and then get him on his feet. I can't tell you the connection I feel as I do this. I've never considered my Gundam a separate entity. I doubt I ever will. He's my partner. We fight together, so that the lines of division are so blurred I sometimes doubt they're even there. Dangerous to get so attached to something, but I'm a better pilot for it. Right now, that's all that counts. I've got something I came here to do, and nothing short of death is going to keep me from it. Duo Maxwell doesn't make promises he can't keep. And the promise I made was to myself.
Lift off is easy, and I circle the trees a few times, stirring up brush that falls to make my Gundam's place of rest less noticeable. With that behind me, I rise higher, reaching for the stars and racing the moon. It keeps pace with me. I expect nothing less, but the thrill of it fills me with the same elation that gripped me the first time I saw the sky from Earth instead of L2. The beauty is never lost on me, because I don't want to take it for granted. If the time comes that I ever lay dying, this is the image I want to ride with me to the grave.
The night around me is a swirl of shadows as I part the air. I rely on my sensors to guide me. They're my eyes, something that took some getting used to when I first flew. It's difficult to accept mapping your sight by machinery, instead of your own vision. Now, like most things you do over and over again, it's become reflex. It's as natural as anything else is. Just another part of being a Gundam pilot.
Deathscythe gives a sudden lurch, cutting off my thoughts.
Frowning, I glance at the monitor, reviewing the diagnostics. Something isn't right. His formation is off. It's like he's trying to fly on his side, rather than straight. It's a fight to keep him upright, and the first flash of true worry grips me. As I type rapidly on the keyboard, I begin to notice how difficult the controls are being. I have this nasty feeling they're going to lock up on me soon.
"What the hell is going on here?"
There. I've isolated it. There's something wrong with the engines. There shouldn't be, however. He was in perfect shape when I last left him. That was just a few days back. I ran diagnostics on him right after the mission to make certain he wasn't damaged. I'm always thorough. I couldn't have missed this.
Whatever the case, I've got to land. I'm not going to risk being in the air any longer, not with the threat of crashing hanging over my head. The last thing I want is to tear him up or myself, for that matter.
"Shit..."
Connecting my frequency to the other Gundam's, I say, "Guys, I've got a problem."
Silence. Then, Heero says, "What's wrong, Duo?"
"Something's up with Deathscythe's engines. I've got to make an emergency landing and check it out."
No inquiry as to how serious it is. Only, "How long will this take?"
I sigh. "Gee, Heero, I dunno," I reply, the sarcastic bite in my tone unmistakable, "I haven't had the chance to look at the engines yet."
"Fine. Keep us notified. We'll go on ahead without you. If you don't contact us within the next hour, we'll assume you have made other arrangements."
It shouldn't bother me so much, the way Heero sees no problem with leaving me in the middle of no where. I know I'm a big boy and can take care of myself. Hell, that's probably what Heero's thinking. I suppose I should take it as a compliment. But just because I've decided I'm not going to care for him anymore, doesn't mean I don't want him to see me as something beyond a Gundam pilot who's only worth is what he can contribute to the mission.
"Heero, don't you think someone should go with him?"
Quatre. I smile. Leave it to him.
"Something might go wrong," the blonde pilot continues. I can almost see the wheels turning in Heero's head. He's probably wondering how much time this will waste, how much attention it could draw to us, and how much of a liability I've just become to them. Maybe I know him better than I thought. Funny, the reality isn't comforting.
"Look, I'll be fine," I say. I don't want to inconvenience anyone.
"Quatre is right. I'll go with Maxwell."
Wufei? Now is finally his chance to get rid of me, and he's volunteering to spend countless hours with me? There's no telling how long repairs will take, if I even _have_ the necessary parts to begin with. I swear, he gets stranger by the day. First he pounds some guys for me, puts up with me the rest of the day, and then meets me for breakfast in the morning. If I didn't know better, I'd have to say he's starting to like me. And as much as I would like to deny I need help, I do feel better for having someone with me.
"That will further separate us," Heero intones.
"Quatre and Trowa have missions tomorrow. I am the most logical choice," Wufei points out. "It's a simple matter to contact any of you in order to find where you've taken up residence."
You have to love Wufei's logic. Aside from Heero, he's the most rational person I know. Actually, most times, it gets on my nerves. I don't think either of them have a spontaneous bone in their bodies, or have ever done anything without planning it through completely. Right now, however, as the malfunction with Deathscythe seems to be getting worse, I really don't want to contemplate their anal retentive tendencies.
"I'm going to land about two miles from my present location. According to this map I pulled up, it's pretty dense forest. I should be able to conceal him easily," I speak up.
"Go with him then, Wufei," Heero adds. "The rest of us will continue to the designated rendezvous point."
Don't you feel privileged, Wufei? Heero gave you permission.
I'm well on my way. Regardless of what they finally decide, I'm ready to set my baby down. The dark tangle of forest coming up on my radar is exactly the one I want. Landing will be tricky, but I think I can manage it with minimal damages. In the meantime, I'm not worried about Wufei being able to find me. He has an amazing sense of direction.
Coming down is rough. It jars me, jerking me against the restraints and knocking me around a bit. Grimacing, I take a calming breath and run a quick check again. It's still bad. Maybe worse. I don't know for sure, but I think it has something to do with the wiring. At least I hope. That's easy to take care of. Getting parts is going to require a bit more finesse on my part. Or Wufei's. Since he's on his way. I seriously hope he doesn't have any lectures for me on how to take better care of your Gundam. I don't need to hear it. I take perfect care of mine.
"I'm at the location where Deathscythe was concealed. Direct me from there," Wufei says suddenly, causing me to jerk toward the sound of his voice, and make me glad I hadn't cut the engines yet.
"About a mile and a half north of there. Got it yet?"
Now, this is going to sound strange, but Wufei just earned a few more points. He called my Gundam Deathscythe. Not 'your Gundam', or just plain 'Gundam'. He acknowledged my Gundam has a name, and meaning to me. Heero never did that. Despite having dubbed his own Wing, he never once called Deathscythe by his name. I can't say why that matters to me. It just does. I don't suppose I always have to make sense. There isn't much fun in being predictable.
"I have it. I will be arriving shortly," Wufei answers, cutting off the connection between our comm units.
Pressing my lips into a thin line, the frown between my brows deeply etched, I glance around the cockpit. This is going to be tricky. It's dark, I'm in the middle of nowhere, and I'm not entirely certain what exactly _is_ wrong with my Gundam. What really gets me, is that I know he was at one hundred percent when I left him the other night. I covered him completely and tightly. No one should have been able to find him to tamper with. If they had the skill to find him to begin with, I doubt they would have left Deathscythe there like that.
I suppose a small animal could have climbed up in the engine. In which case, I'm going to have a gross mess on my hands. That's one of the hazards of concealing your Gundam out in the wilderness I guess. The prospect of finding something like that does not thrill me, however. But I've done enough stalling. I've got a flashlight around here somewhere. I'll shut Deathscythe down and at least wait for Wufei before I get out and start poking around. Because I'm feeling uneasy, I'll stuff my handgun in the waistband of my pants and take it with me.
The air above me suddenly shudders with the warning of an incoming mobile suit. That has to be Wufei. He got here in no time at all. Which is really no big surprise. Like I said, Wu has a great sense of direction. Yeah, the maps help, but some people just seem to have a built in compass. I get along well enough. I've traveled by myself for so long, I've had to learn how to get around. But given the choice, I'd rather not be plunked down in the middle of nowhere and told to navigate my way out with nothing but my internal sense of direction.
Flashlight gripped firmly in one hand, gun tucked securely at my side, I open the cockpit door and climb onto the platform. Nataku has landed a few feet away from me and is already going through the process of shutting down. It was difficult with the lack of control, but I managed to get Deathscythe to sit down, making it easier for me to take a look at him. The less climbing I've got to do anyway, the better.
"What's up with you buddy?" I ask him quietly, not expecting an answer. Though, one would be nice.
Wufei climbs onto his own platform, immediately grasping the cable to lower himself to the ground. I stay where I am, surveying the area from above. It's an interesting feeling. I have to savor it, since I doubt I'll ever get the chance to stand above Wufei again.
Grinning to myself, I grab my own cable, pressing the button on the grip to take me slowly to the ground. As I lower, I'm acutely aware of how silent it is here. Not even the music of crickets interrupts the complete lack of sound. Something about that bothers me. It seems a bit off. Shouldn't there be _some_ kind of noise? I mean, we're out in the middle of the forest, a place filled with bugs and animals and God-only-knows what else.
Subdued, I scan the area around me. I can't see much of anything except what's close to me. I'd give just about anything to have night vision like animals do. I hate the thought that something can be staring at me, yet I can't stare back. Maybe I'm just paranoid. After all, Wufei and I are the intruders here. The arrival of our Gundam's is probably reason enough to put all the inhabitants of the forest on edge.
My feet touch the ground. I release the cable, watching it sway with the wind before I turn my attention to Wufei.
Wufei doesn't look pleased, but he doesn't look displeased either. I'll take that as a good sign.
Folding his arms across his chest, Wufei glances up at the motionless form of Deathscythe. "You are having engine problems?"
I nod. "Yeah. I don't know why, though. He was just fine when I left him after last mission. My only guess is that some animal got up in there, or someone tampered with it. But if that happened, you'd think they would have done more damage or tried to run off with him."
"Humans are not creatures known for making sense," Wufei responds, stepping away from me to move in closer.
I'm wondering if that was a barb directed toward me.
"Thanks for coming, by the way," I tell him, ignoring his comment as I follow him around to the other side of Deathscythe.
"Someone had to. There was as chance you would get stranded. I was the only one without something to do," he answers succinctly, the way he says it suggesting it was nothing more than that.
I can't tell you how warm that makes me feel inside. The concern oozing from that statement is enough to put me into shock. Lord spare me from emotionless Gundam pilots. I've had it about up to _here_ with them. Here, being my neck. Though, at times, I'd rather wring _their_ necks.
"Right. Whatever. In any case, after he's had time to cool down, I'm going to crawl up in there."
Wufei nods, and turns. This time, I notice his sword strapped to his side. Apparently, getting out here makes him no less cautious than it does me. Considering how careful Wufei always is, however, that doesn't raise much alarm in me. He would probably carry that damn sword to the grocery store.
Now, we sit and wait. I'm not very good at waiting, as I've mentioned before. I get impatient. Since I don't like being out here, in an unfamiliar place after dark, it's even worse. Rather than sit still, I pace, trying to work off some of this excess energy. I doubt I can sit down and remain there anyway. Wufei, however, has taken up residence on a nearby rock. He's not moving. He's just sitting there, calmly, looking like he hasn't got a care in the world. How does he do that? No wait, he took out a book. He carries a book on his person? Wonders never cease.
"What're you reading?" I venture, throwing the flashlight from hand to hand, trying to see how long I can keep up before I drop it.
He doesn't even look up. "A book on Chinese mythology."
"Cool."
Wu looks up this time. "Maxwell, are you even remotely interested?"
I blink. "Well, yeah, why not?"
He stares at me evenly for a few moments, expression unwavering. "Then come over here. You're distracting me. I'll read aloud to you to keep you still."
That sounds far more entertaining than juggling a single flashlight.
"Mighty nice of you."
"I am doing it for my sanity, not your entertainment."
Resting the urge to stick my tongue out at him, I start over.
The hairs on the back of my neck raise.
Something is watching me.
I freeze in mid-stride, jerking my head around. A shot explodes from the darkness. Out of instinct, I twist. I'm not fast enough, however, because something tears across my arm, leaving a sharp explosion of pain in its wake. It's too fast to process anything. My entire body is alive and flooding with adrenaline, and all I can think is someone is out there, trying to kill me. I've got no cover. There's not enough time to make it to my Gundam. I'm probably going to die. Just as well... Though I would have rather died in Deathscythe.
"Get down, you fool!" Wufei snarls, and slams into me from the side just as another shot tears over our heads.
We hit the ground hard. My elbow strikes a solid object, probably a rock, and the impact travels up the entire length of my arm, exploding in my brain like a thousand brilliant flashes. The air is driven from my lungs in one massive blast, and the only thing I can feel as we lie there, is the solid warmth of Wufei's body covering mine and the mingling beat of our pounding hearts. Someone wanted us out of our Gundams. Someone wants us dead. And I think I know who I can blame for this.
"We need to make it to our Gundams," Wufei's voice is warm and sharp in my ear, the coiled tension in his muscles only vaguely translating into his words.
"We can try..." I answer on a near gasp as I try to catch my breath.
"When I say." He replies, then moves slowly, leaving the chill of the air to replace his body as he slithers along the ground.
I have this feeling we won't make it. This person isn't going to want us to reach our Gundams. That would mean escape.
I'm aware of the pain in my arm again, so I close my hand around it, coming up with the warmth of blood on my fingertips. It's just a scratch though. Had I been even a second slower, it would have went right through my arm. Instead, it probably found its way into some nearby tree. I'm damn lucky. Let's see just how long my luck holds out.
"Now!" Wufei hisses, and leaps to his feet, propelling himself into motion.
I'm much slower getting up, enough so that he's ahead of me, enough so that I'm not anywhere near him when another bullet comes at us. The sudden fear that grips me is suffocating. Funny, but it's not for me. I'm frightened only because I think Wufei might have been shot. He's not moving. He's just standing still.
"Fuck!" I spit out, not caring now. I keep going. Another shot. It flashes past my ear, taking off the corner of my lower lobe. Damn. That stings like a bitch.
I barrel into Wufei from behind, half-dragging, half-running with him into a nearby bush. We didn't even make it close enough to our Gundams to risk riding the cables up. And, as we fall into the bushes, a sticky wetness covers my hands, that isn't my own. Shock rips across my skin, leaving me cold.
My God, Wufei has been shot.