Getting to Know Eachother Part 3: Don't Forget the Prince of Tennis

~oOoOo~

Since at this point everyone was just pretty much wondering if Echizen was ever going to make an appearance, the Prince of Tennis suddenly found himself the center of attention for no apparent reason.

"Echizen, you're the Prince of Tennis," gurgled Touji, who seemed to have sunk deeper and deeper into his armchair throughout the evening. "Entertain us."

"Mada mada dane." said Echizen, even though it made no sense in the context. Because that's what Echizen does. No matter what's going on, or what was previously said, he just throws out his catchphrase and hopes that it somehow adds to the conversation. But anyway.

"C'mon, Echizen, for Seigaku!" implored Momoshiro.

"I don't have to do this because I can do a Twist Serve." said Echizen. "So step off."

"Echizen, are you afraaaaaaaaaiiiiiid?" drawled Kirihara. "Are you chiiiiiiiickenn........?"

"No, that's not it." said Echizen.

"Maybe Echizen doesn't have a special memory!" Momoshiro teased. "Haha, what a loser. We all have fun memories. But Echizen only has Karupin!"

Everyone started laughing.

"Che." Echizen got to his feet at these words; though he was so short, it hardly made a difference.

He wobbled to the front of the room. He pulled out a tennis racket from seemingly nowhere and pointed it at Momoshiro in his I'm-gonna-kick-your-ass way before resting it on his shoulder.

"You can say what you want about me." Echizen warned, "but not a word on Karupin."

Since this statement added nothing to the conversation, everyone ignored it. They waited in silence for Echizen to summon his best memory.

That…girl you mentioned….earlier." Echizen said finally, gestured his head towards Kamio. "That.....Ryuuzaki. She has a first name. It's Sakuno."

No one was quite sure what to say to this, so they didn't say anything. Echizen took their silence for anticipation, being the Prince of Tennis and all, and he paused for effect before continuing.

"I was playing tennis one day."

"Imagine that." said Hiyoshi. Everyone just told him to shut up though, and threw pillows at him. Because if there's someone who adds less to the conversation than Echizen, it's Hiyoshi.

Echizen looked mildly annoyed at the interruption, but continued.

"It was just me, whacking my tennis ball against the cold, hard brick of the school wall because everyone on the courts was too lame to play with me. I whacked the ball. Whack, whack, whack."

Everyone seemed to be enjoying the sound effects.

"So anyway," Echizen sniffed importantly, "I was so busy being awesome I hardly even heard it when this tiny little voice speaks behind me. I still remember." Echizen took a deep breath and put on a thin, high pitched voice like a mosquito.

Ryoma-kun…

"So I spin around, right? And I see Sakuno with braids down her back all decked out in a Yukimura head band and this tiny little pink miniskirt."

A few of the guys exchanged knowing grins at this point.

"And of course, she's blushing before I even say anything back to her, because I'm just that awesome."

"So I say:" Here Echizen inserted an absurdly deep, masculine voice.

Oh. Hey Ryuzaki. "Because I never call her by her first name to her face, even though she's my peer. Why? Because it makes me seem more awesome. And then, I suppose, the mere sound of my deep, masculine voice saying her name made her weak in the knees. She seemed to forget what she had approached me for at all. She puts one hand to her forehead and another to her flushed cheek and says:"

Oh, Ryoma-kun…. "before loosing her footing and swooning."

"You don't even know what that word means." Hiyoshi griped quietly. He was just jealous, though.

The rest of the boys in the room were literally on the edge of their seats with anticipation. They hadn't expected to hear a story of one of them getting some action. And from Echizen, of all people!

"Well, go on boy, go on!" barked Ichiuma, speaking for everyone.

Echizen smiled indulgently.

"Well, even if she's annoying and her hair is too long, I'm such a goddam gentleman, aren't I? I couldn't let the poor girl hurt herself just because I turned the charm on too high. So I dart forward with the super reflexes bestowed upon me, being the Prince of Tennis and all. And I catch her just before he hits the ground."

At this point, Choutarou gave a little gasp of delighted surprise. He was the only one who seemed to be enjoying the story for its romantic side.

"So then, I'm stuck there on the ground holding this fainted girl in my arms, yeah? And I have no idea what to do."

"Why didn't you carry her to the nurse's office?" Shinji questioned.

"I tried." Echizen mumbled. "But I couldn't even stand up. She was too heavy."

Several boys sniggered at this, but Echizen continued like he hadn't heard.

"So I'm on the ground, putting aside the fact that I'm technically pinned, but anyway. I don't know what to do. At that moment though, her eyelids flutter. Like a delicate butterfly's wings about to take flight."

No one seemed very impressed with the simile.

"And slowly, she opens her eyes and looks up, and first thing she sees is BAM, handsome me! Well, frankly I'm surprised that she didn't faint again but she just looks at me in this withered way and then reaches up her arms and puts them around my neck."

Oh, Ryoma-kun, "she said." I love you.

I know. "I replied."

"And then she blushes and sort of sits up a little, so that she can whisper into my ear. And you know what she says?"

The boys numbly shook their heads.

"She says:"

Ryoma-kun, I want you to take my virginity, right now.

"OKAY, THAT'S IT!" Hiyoshi had gotten to his feet. "I don't believe any of this shit anymore! And you're all morons if you do."

Indeed, the word "virginity" seemed to have semi-snapped many of the boys back to their good drunken reason.

"I must admit, your story does not make a great deal of sense." Shinji commented. "After all, we've all met the girl in question and she's too shy to say more than five words to you at a time, let alone make such a request."

"He's a liar and a phony! Get him off stage!" Kirihara shouted, flinging his empty beer can at Echizen who somehow didn't dodge with his master reflexes. Kirihara, however, seemed to have lost a great deal of his own reflexes throughout the evening and missed by several feet.

The rest of the boys loudly booed and followed suit, throwing everything within five feet of them at The Prince of Tennis.

Echizen, surprisingly, made no move to defend himself, but merely shrugged and loped back to the general ping pong area.

"Mada mada dane," he muttered before sinking down into a comfortable lying position on the table.

"Ahem, well that was surprisingly disturbing…." Ichiuma and Ichirou said.

"Okay, seriously, what are you guys, the emcees, or something?" Asked Kamio. "Who asked for your commentary at the end of each story?"

"Well Kamio, that's a great question." Said Ichirou. "And actually, I'm emcee-ing with Ichiuma because it's my divine right as a minor character, and also because our names sound similar, and therefore, funny together."

"They're nearly interchangeable." agreed Ichiuma.

"Are you going to say "that's a great question" after every question?" Hiyoshi asked.

Ichiuma responded this time. "Well that's a great question, Hiyoshi, and actually I'd like to implore you to ask yourself that before bothering us."

"Are you guys planning on shutting the hell up any time this evening so we can get on with the stories?" shouted Momoshiro.

"Well, that's a great question, and actually no, we aren't, Momoshiro." Replied Ichirou.

"Speaking of great questions," continued Ichiuma before anyone else could object, may we ask who would like to go next?"

David went, but nobody could understand his story. Turns out, when he's completely wasted, he only speaks French.

There was, however, a lot of action involved, and more than one swordfight, reenacted out by David on the coffee table for everyone's benefit. But after David fell off the table the fifth time, Choutarou had to stop the story although.

"Shh, David, just lie down." Choutarou soothed. "You are…in a word: wasted."

"Maaa…" David shrugged off Choutarou's words. "Si j'étais ivre, pense-tu qu je saurais que ceci est Yuuta?"(1) He slung his arm around the back of a wicker chair and grinned stupidly at them. When no one said anything, he answered his own question:

"Je ne pense pas." (2)

"Choutarou, hurry up and tell us the awesomest thing that ever happened to you before we all start speaking French, s'il vous plait!(3)" Kamio shouted. Then he slapped a hand over his mouth.

Choutarou had to think. He shut his eyes, wracking through his memory. He remembered all those hours he spent training with Shishido, watching him grow to his full potential. He remembered the romantic meeting they had had in the church where Shishido had prayed to the Virgin Mary. He remembered helping Shishido comb his shining hair back when it had been long…

Then his eyes lit up. He knew which his most special memory was. He bashfully cleared his throat and waited for David to be subdued before starting his story.

"Well," Choutarou began, "last year one weekend I was at home watching T.V. And before you all start reprimanding me, it was eight o'clock in the evening. I had just gotten home from evening tennis practice and I definitely had the right to be relaxing."

Choutarou paused for a moment, feeling like he should build up the action somewhat.

"Well, just as Dragon Ball Z came on, my mom comes into the living room and tells me that we need some groceries. So I said, 'okay, then why don't you go get it?' I didn't want to miss Dragon Ball Z, you see."

Everyone nodded understandingly.

"Well for some reason, my mom got kind of mad when I said that and she went into this rant about how, as the man in the family, I needed to take some responsibility. And then she basically threatened to cancel satellite, so I had to go to the grocery store and pick up the stuff for her."

"Since I can't drive yet, and she only asked for a few things, I decided to go on my bike, which is also better for the environment. To make a boring story short, I got to the store more or less uneventfully and even picked up a discount Fruits Basket manga on my way out."

"Fruits Basket?" Uchimura echoed.

"For, ahem, my sister." Choutarou quickly added.

Every exchanged skeptical looks.

"I get out of the store," Choutarou hurriedly continued, "and put the stuff on my bike and biked home."

At this point, most people were wondering if the story was ever going to get a plot. Choutarou seemed to realize this, and he got to the point.

"I parked my bike in the garage and took the groceries inside and gave them to my mom. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and said I was a Good Boy. Flushed with my success, I proceeded to re-nestle myself onto the sofa. But then I realized that something was wrong." Choutarou paused dramatically. "Oh yes, something was very, very wrong. I could just feel it. I somehow felt….vulnerable. I got up and checked my hair. Nothing there. And my clothes were all perfectly intact, and my tennis bag! That's when I realized….."

Drumroll effect.

"My wallet had gone missing! It had been stolen!"

Everyone gasped.

"I admit for a moment I was too shocked for this information to properly register, but then I came to my senses. I first bolted up the staircase to my room and ransacked the entire place audaciously."

"Isn't it weird how Choutarou's vocabulary gets bigger the more he drinks?" Kaidoh commented vaguely.

"When I found nothing," Choutarou continued, "I consulted my muse for five minutes."

Everyone stared blankly at him.

"…It means I sat down and thought." Choutarou explained.

"Then why didn't ya just say that, ya moron?" Kirihara shouted, tempted to throw another beer can.

"ANYway," Choutarou plowed on, "my goddam muse was just as baffled as I was, so I sent it to the corner and headed back downstairs where I searched the living room, kitchen, and bathroom." He paused. "Incidentally, my muse has never really been of any use to me at all. I ended up selling it to Shisido, along with my self respect, as a bargain deal for two packs of gum."

"You sold your self respect for gum?" Kamio echoed disbelievingly.

"Two packs." Choutarou said defensively. "And it was fruit flavored."

Everyone mentally slapped their foreheads, but then urged Choutarou to continue, not because they wanted to know what would happen, but so the random tangents would end. Sensing this, Choutarou concluded,

"And then, at that moment, when I had lost all hope, one last idea occurred to me; one last hope of where it might be. Without even putting on a jacket despite the cold of the night, I raced out into the garage to examine my parked bike. And you know what? I looked at my bike and I saw…that my wallet was in the back basket!"

"Huh?" Everyone sagged with punctured anticipation.

"Yes, it's true!" Choutatou cried, quite beside himself. "It had fallen out of my bag, but onto the back basket! Can you believe that? It was a four mile ride to the store, but it had stayed in place!"

"Oh….my…..God….." was all Uchimura could say.

"Yes, incredible, isn't it?" said Choutarou excitedly, mistaking his speechlessness for awe.

"You're…kidding, right?" Kirihara piped up. "That was the grand story? You lost your wallet and then found it again in two seconds? Not to be ironic by sounding like Shishido or anything but…"

"LAME" everyone chorused.

"What are you talking about?!" cried Choutarou, flabbergasted. "Do you have any idea how many people lose their wallets each year? What a hassle it is to cancel all your cards and get a new identification? Do you realize how…incredible it is that I missed all that by a thin, black wire basket?" His voice cracked.

Everyone stared blankly. "Sorry, man…" Yuuta began, somewhat uneasily, "it was just a little anticlimactic, ya know?"

"Anti….it was caught on the basket all along. Don't you see how awesome that is? IT'S COOL!" his voice shot up an octave and a half on these last words.

XxXxX

And that's how Choutarou became Kaidoh's new pariah-pal.

oOoOo

A/N:
French:
(1) If I were drunk, would I know that this is Yuuta?
(2) I don't think so.
(3) Please.

I'm thinking of trying something here: if you haven't noticed, it's a person from each school is telling a story. If anyone actually cares, you can read all of the stories (which ought to be done in a few more chapters) and then vote for your favorite! The winner will get some sort of...glory or inclusion in the next story arc or something equally cliché like that. It should be fun. :)