8

Alex froze when she felt the cold metal blade of Victoria's knife against her neck.

She glanced down at the weapon and then back at the older vampire. Victoria's eyes were sparkling angrily and she gave Alex a disapproving look.

"You have to concentrate, Alex! Do you really think you'll be able to kill Darian if you continue like this?"

Alex eyes flashed red with anger and she grinded her teeth, trying to control herself.

"You're full of hatred and anger, I can see that. So use it! You should never let anger control your actions, you have to control it! Use it! Take strength from it, but for god sake concentrate!"

Alex took a deep breath, then shoved aside Victoria's hand which was still holding the knife against her neck. She raised her own knife again and another round of dueling began.

Victoria, of course, had a lot more of experience, but Alex had learned fast and as long as she concentrated she did well.

But mere minutes later, Alex thoughts began to wander off again.

After that night when Marissa had almost seen her, Alex went back to the apartment every night. Sometimes she would stay from dusk till dawn and watch over her all night. Even though she often didn't even see her, she felt Marissa's presence and that was enough for her. A few days after the incident in LA, Alex still hadn't fed. Her thirst had now grown to such intensity, it threatened to drive her mad. But still she tried to ignore it.

One night, after having watched over Marissa for hours, she headed back to the motel. She walked through a deserted park, like always enjoying the silence.

All of a sudden, she saw something from the corner of her eye. She turned her head to see a rabbit cleaning its fur. Alex later remembered thinking how strange it was to see a rabbit in the middle of the night, then all her senses left her. She saw the poor animal bleeding from a small wound on one of its paws and immediately her eyes flashed red. Before she even knew what she was doing, she had leaped forward. She grabbed the brown little animal and sunk her pointed canines into its neck. She felt the rabbit's heartbeat increase to an incredibly fast rate, before gradually slowing down and finally stopping.

Once she had drained the animal of all blood, Alex slowly came back to her senses. She looked down at the dead rabbit in her hands. Its fur was soft and fluffy, and it suddenly reminded her of a pet bunny one of her friends had had a long time ago.

The metallic taste of blood still filled her mouth and suddenly she felt hate and disgust fill her.

She sank down to her knees and looked up at the dark sky. She closed her eyes and let out a shrill scream that filled the night and scared away some birds in a nearby tree.

Angry tears flowed down Alex' cheeks. She was a monster. Nothing but a monster.

She laid the rabbit down before her and sunk her fingernails into her arms. She was relieved when she felt pain – a human sensation. She increased the pressure and scratched across her forearms. She looked down and saw with satisfaction that scratches became visible, even though she did not bleed.

Suddenly, Alex realized what she was doing and more tears flowed down her face, dripping onto the dead animal in front of her. She breathed in and out deeply a few times. Then she forced herself to stop crying. She stood up, determination and grimness written all over her face. First brutally kill an animal like a beast and then cry over it? No, she would have to learn to deal with it. Crying helped no-one.

She squared her shoulders, picked up the cadaver and went over to some bushes. She laid the rabbit down on the earth and covered it with some leaves.

"I'm sorry," Alex said quietly. She walked away and looked up at the dark sky. "I'm sorry I killed that poor creature… but I'm a vampire," she said grimly.

Clouds shifted aside and the moon suddenly shone brightly against the black sky, as if welcoming her, a new creature of the night, to a world of darkness.

Yes, I'm truly a vampire now, Alex thought, nodding her head to the moon, no more crying from now on. But she had cried again…

"Alex, dammit!"

Victoria's voice pulled Alex back into the presence and she tried to refocus on the battle.

She fended off Victoria's attacks, moved left, moved right, and left again…

Visiting Marissa at night had become a habit… But sometimes that wasn't enough. If Marissa left the apartment at night, Alex liked to follow her. One night, more than a month after her 'death', Marissa lead her to the pier. She watched as Marissa bought herself a hot-chocolate-to-go, finding it incredibly sweet.

Marissa sat down on a bench facing the ocean and Alex craved to just go there and sit down next to her. But Alex remained where she was, watching Marissa from the shadows.

After a while, a dark-haired girl took up the place next to Marissa and Alex felt a wave of fury rush through her body. If she couldn't sit there, she didn't want anyone else to do so.

But a moment later, she had calmed down again and sighed, shaking her head. She had to at least try to be rational.

At some point, Marissa and the other girl started to talk. Alex couldn't hear what they were saying, but she saw clearly from their body language that they had immediately connected.

A part of her was glad to see it, as it probably meant Marissa was doing better. Alex had noticed that in the last weeks Marissa had tried to find a way back to life, but she had still seemed heavily depressed. Maybe a new friend, a fresh start was what she needed…

Alex watched the two of them interact for some more time, but she couldn't suppress the hurt that was growing in her chest.

Alex figured it was dark enough to risk a closer look… She pulled her hood down over her face and approached the bench from behind. She heard Marissa's familiar laughter mix with one unknown to her. She tried to feel nothing but happiness for Marissa, but she failed – and felt her lifeless heart break a little more.

Unable to bear anymore of the situation, Alex slowly turned away. Cold tears streaked down her face, smudging her eyeliner and leaving a trail of black sorrow on her cheeks.

She allowed herself to wallow in self-pity for a few long minutes, before squaring her shoulders. She did not wipe away the tears on her face, but allowed no further ones to fall.

No more tears, she told herself, the next tears I shed shall be either tears of happiness – or none at all.

As she walked back to motel through the darkness, she once again felt incredibly cold – and terribly dead.

"Argghh!" Alex screamed out in surprise and pain. She dropped her dagger and clutched her left upper arm, where Victoria had just stabbed her. The wound wasn't all too deep and obviously not bleeding, but still it hurt quite a lot.

"Fuck! What the hell was that for?!" Alex yelled, staring at Victoria in disbelief.

Victoria stared back at Alex, just as angry as the blonde. "That was for not paying attention, again!" she hissed. "Seriously, if you changed your mind and don't want to help me hunt down Darian, that's fine. But then tell me, so I don't have to waste my time training you."

Alex eyes once again flashed red with anger.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I was wasting your time. Fuck, my life is a big enough mess already. I don't need this shit, I seriously don't!"

With that Alex stormed out of the motel room which they used for training. They had pushed aside all furniture to get some space for their combats.

Their rooms where still on the second floor and Alex now stood at the railing in front of them, looking down at the street. It was in the middle of the day and she was wearing only a pair of jeans and a black wife beater.

There was no way she could go out this way, the risk of being seen was way to big. And in addition, she didn't even have shoes on.

"Fuck!" Alex yelled and kicked at the metallic railing – not really the smartest thing to do, especially not barefooted, Alex had to admit, grinding her teeth in pain.

She thought about what had just happened and sighed. She still lost her temper incredibly fast.

Again, thoughts of Marissa and the black-haired girl from the pier invaded her mind. Their first meeting was now over a week ago – and no day had passed without the two of them meeting again.

Alex clenched her fists around the railing, fighting with numerous emotions inside her. What was she supposed to think, to feel? Should she hope Marissa would fall in love with this girl and that they lived happily ever after? Or should she hope this girl would be struck by lightning and just disappear from Marissa's life? No, definitely not the latter… Marissa would not be able to handle another loss, she was sure of that.

Alex sighed again. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned right to look at Victoria.

"Hey," the older vampire said.

"Hey," Alex replied somewhat stiffly.

"So… what do you say? Are we gonna finish Darian off, or what?"

A small smile spread on Alex' lips and she began to relax. "You bet!"

Victoria smiled back and gave Alex a pat on the back.

"Good… Is your arm alright?"

Alex looked down at the place where Victoria had stabbed her merely a few minutes ago. The wound had already started to heal and would probably be gone by nightfall.

"Yeah, it's fine… I'll do better now. I want to make him pay for doing this to me…"

Victoria nodded. "Okay, then let's continue the training, shall we? I have a feeling we might be going on a little trip, soon."

Victoria's feeling turned out to be correct and merely two days later the two vampires were sitting in the rental car driving in direction of Phoenix.

As they left Newport Beach behind them, Alex couldn't help but sigh out loud. She looked out of the window and even though she was eager to hunt down Darian, the thought of leaving Marissa was almost unbearable to her.

"You okay?"

Alex simply shrugged her shoulders and continued watching Newport slowly disappearing from sight.

When they finally turned around a corner she sighed again and turned to look at Victoria.

"I guess… It's just that I have a bad feeling about leaving Marissa…"

"Alex, you probably don't want to hear this, but you know… maybe it's better if you don't watch over Marissa all the time. It's tearing you apart. And you said it yourself, she's doing better…"

Alex slowly nodded her head and stared out at the blue sky. "Yeah, it'd probably be better for me if I'd just try to put it all behind me… But the thing is, I don't want to put Marissa behind me. My 'life' is not worth living any more, not to me, anyways. The only thing that's keeping me 'alive' – apart from taking revenge – is Marissa. As my own existence is meaningless and worthless, I might as well spend my time watching over Marissa's life."

Victoria shot Alex a quick glance. She felt immensely sorry for her and was at loss for words. What does one say to someone who has just put to words that their soul has been torn to bits and pieces?

"I know how hard it is," Victoria finally whispered, her hands clutched around the steering wheel. "The first years are terrible… but one eventually learns to move on. Maybe someday you'll decide to hunt vampires professionally, so to say. You'll be welcome to join me. It's easier to cope with it all if you have a place in life…"

Alex didn't answer and they continued their journey in silence.

Alex soon fell asleep, but found little rest. Again and again she was tormented by nightmares in which Marissa died in terrible pain and she herself was confronted with an eternity without Marissa…

Some time later Alex awoke with a start. She blinked a few times and looked outside.

They were at a gas station, but Victoria was nowhere in sight. The sun was somewhat lower in the sky and Alex figured she must have slept at least two hours.

Alex winced when the driver's door suddenly opened.

"God, Victoria, you scared me!"

Victoria chuckled and gave Alex an amused glance. "Did I now? Wow, you're a really tough vampire, aren't you."

Alex rolled her eyes and threw a package of tissues at the grinning woman, but missed her head by at least half a meter.

Victoria's grin became even wider as she sat down on her seat. "Wow, okay, now you really got me convinced that you're the toughest vampire ever!"

Alex stuck out her tongue at Victoria and tried to give her an angry look, but couldn't help but laugh. "I guess I shouldn't have tried throwing something at you – I've always sucked at it!" she said, thinking of a specific situation when she had tried to hit someone, not witch tissues, but with a beer can…

They continued their way down the road in a much lighter atmosphere than before.

When they arrived in Phoenix about another hour later, Victoria told Alex that she felt Darian's presence very strongly. The sun had already begun to set and it was slowly becoming dark outside.

"He can't be far away," she said grimly. They had parked the car and were now waiting… "The feeling is getting constantly stronger… He'll probably try to feed by nightfall."

Victoria started the car again and let her feeling lead them. After some time she suddenly stopped and parked the car at the side of a rather lonesome street in the suburbs.

The two women looked at each other.

"Okay, so here we go," Victoria said, giving Alex a questioning glance.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, I'm ready."

"No… you're not… not yet. Leave your knife here and take this one instead."

Alex took the dagger Victoria was holding out to her and touched the blade carefully.

"Let me guess… partly of wood?"

Victoria eyes sparkled with determination. "Remember to aim for his heart."

"What about you?"

Victoria pointed at her own knife. "I've got my own vamp-killer."

Alex nodded. "Alright… So, shall we go outside? I don't think I can sit in here much longer…"

Victoria agreed and so they left the car and slowly walked down the dark street, following her instincts.

After a few silent moments Alex heard Victoria whisper something to her. "Alex… I'm not quite sure what's up… but I think I'm sensing at least one other presence… We have to be careful… And… Argh!… I think we might be too late…"

Alex felt chills run down her spine. Victoria seemed worried, which Alex did not take for a good sign.

It turned out, once more, that Victoria was right. They hurried through a few blocks until they finally found Darian.

They saw two figures kneeling besides a lifeless body. Victoria cursed under her breath and ordered Alex to wait in the shadows. The vampire stepped forward and the two kneeling figures, seeing her approaching them, stood up.

Alex now saw that it was one man and one woman – and as her eyes focused on the man for the first time, she immediately knew it was Darian, though she had never seen him before. Hatred swept through her with such an intensity that she had to muster up all sensibility and strength she had to stop herself from running forward. Alex barely heard what Victoria said to Darian, but she watched closely as they began to duel.

Darian's companion was obviously a vampire as well, though Alex had the feeling she was much younger than Darian. The vampire-woman watched intently as Darian and Victoria fought for a few minutes, before taking out a knife of her own and approaching them. Alex was sure Victoria was a good fighter, but would she be able to deal with two opponents?

Before the woman had reached Victoria, Alex let out a yell.

"You there, vamp!"

The woman turned around and her red eyes bored into Alex'.

She now approached Alex instead and the latter quickly took out her knife.

All of a sudden, the vampire attacked her and Alex focused all her attention on fending her off.

Alex did well at the beginning, but the other vampire was obviously more experienced than her. She got stabbed in her left upper arm three times, but in return hardly managed to put any damage to the vampire.

Suddenly, Alex felt a stinging pain in her right shoulder as her opponent's blade bore into it. Alex fell to the floor, but still raised her knife in a last attempt to defend herself.

She saw the vampire hover above her, evil red eyes flashing down at her. It's over, Alex thought – and she later couldn't deny the feeling that rushed through in that moment. It wasn't fear, no, it wasn't even hate. It was relief.

But then the eyes of the vampire suddenly widened in surprise and she stumbled forward, right on top of Alex, who managed to raise her knife in time to bore it through her opponent's chest.

The vampire screamed and Alex increased the pressure against the knife to bore it deeper into her. With one strong gesture, Alex jerked her knife out again – and was surprised to see blood flowing out of the wound. The vampire's eyes turned from red to brown and a shiver went through her body. The woman blinked a few times, staring at the girl she was lying on as if seeing her for the first time. Then she sighed deeply – and became still.

Alex felt chills run down her spine and she quickly pushed the dead vampire off of her.

She slowly stood up and looked around. Victoria was walking towards her and Alex quickly nodded to her unspoken question – she was alright.

Victoria halted next to Alex and they both looked towards another figure standing in front of them.

It was a woman – another vampire.

Alex knew, without needing to ask Victoria, that Darian had managed to escape. But that was her smallest problem in that moment. Right now, the question who the two other present vampires were, one dead and one standing in front of them, seemed much more important.

Alex stared at the vampire in front of them. She was beautiful, there was no other way to put it. Her long brown hair flowed over her dark clothes and her eyes sparkled dangerously.

"Victoria," she said, nodding her head slightly. Her voice was clear and powerful, yet somehow soft and it made goose bumps erupt all over Alex' arms.

"Amy," Victoria replied, nodding her head in return. Alex eyes flicked from one woman to the other. "This is Alex."

Alex looked back at Amy and their eyes locked. "Thank you for saving me."

"No need to thank me. You killed her all by yourself."

Alex glanced at the corpse lying nearby and she suddenly felt herself becoming sick. She had just killed someone. She remembered the look on the vampires face before she had died. She hadn't been a vampire in that final moment – she had been a person, a human.

Alex quickly turned her attention back to the other two vampires.

"So… you know each other?" She asked looking from one woman to the other.

"Yes…" Victoria said. "Our paths have crossed before."

"We work in the same branch, so to say," Amy added with a smile which showed off her pointed canines.

"What happened with Darian?" Alex asked Victoria, suddenly feeling immensely exhausted.

"He escaped," Victoria answered, her eyes sparkling angrily. "Again…"

"He's not an easy one to catch…" Amy said grimly.

Alex sighed deeply. "We'll get him some day, " Victoria said, patting Alex on the back. "No matter how long it'll take, we'll get him."

They went over to the body they had seen Darian and the other vampire hover over earlier. It was a young woman who looked quite healthy – apart from the paleness of her skin and the four bloody little bite marks on her neck, two on each side.

Victoria called the police to inform them of the two dead women. Alex wondered how the police would explain their death's, but she pushed the question aside. It wasn't her problem – so why worry?

The three of them took the car and went to a pub. They took a table in a rather dark corner and ordered their drinks.

They spent the rest of the evening talking. First, they analysed the night's events. They talked about Darian and put together all they knew about him. But they were soon all sick of the subject, as they were still frustrated that he had managed to escape, and so they turned to other topics.

Amy was keen to hear of Alex' 'death' and told them of her own. She also told them of her work as a vampire hunter. Unlike Victoria, she located vampires by smelling them.

"I'm heading for New York, next. You can almost always find vampires in such a large city," Amy was saying. "Have you ever been there, Alex?"

Alex shook her head no and Amy looked at her thoughtfully before saying: "You know, you could join me, if you like. You could help me with my vampire hunt. You did quite well with that vampire today, for it being your first fight."

Alex looked at Amy in surprise. "I… errr, thanks… well…"

Amy smiled and Alex felt herself flush for reasons even unknown to herself. "You don't have to decide in this moment," she said softly. "It's just an idea… It might do you good to get away for a while."

Alex looked at Victoria, who looked back at her with a serious expression. "She might be right, Alex. Now don't think I want to get rid of you or anything, but it really might be good for you to get some distance from everything that happened…"

Alex knew she was thinking of Marissa, and couldn't help but sigh.

"I would call you the moment I sensed Darian again, I swear," Victoria added.

Alex remained silent, hundreds of emotions and thoughts fighting in her head and heart.

"Like I said, you don't have to decide just now. Just think about it. I don't know about you, but I'm staying here for the night," Amy said, giving Victoria a questioning glance.

"Yes, we are, too," Victoria said, looking at Alex who nodded her agreement. "We should definitely get some sleep before driving home." Something in Victoria's voice told Alex that she wasn't really planning to sleep, and Victoria's next words proved her right.

"Here, Alex, rent yourself a hotel room. There's something I have to do. Let's meet here tomorrow at, let's say, 1 p.m.?" Alex took the money Victoria was holding out to her and nodded slowly. She was curious about what Victoria was up to, but she didn't dare to ask. Something told her it wasn't the time for nosy questions.

"Well then, see you tomorrow," Amy said, smirking. "Take care."

Victoria rolled her eyes at Amy and left after giving Alex a quick smile.

"Did I miss something?" Alex asked somewhat annoyed, but Amy just shook her head, smiling.

"Never mind. I'm sure she'll tell you one day. Sooo…. Do you wanna get out of here?"

Alex nodded and so they paid for their drinks and left.

They walked down the dark street in silence for a few moments, before Alex suddenly began to talk of Marissa. She told Amy of all her love, her pain and her loneliness. For a moment, Alex didn't even care if Amy wanted to hear about all of her sorrow or not – she simply needed to tell someone. But Amy listened carefully.

"Alex, I know this sounds cruel, but maybe it's better that you were separated from her now. You have to be aware of the fact that you're immortal. Imagine being with her now and living with her for maybe 50 years, if she's lucky. Then she'd die… and you? You'd be even more heart-broken then you're now."

Alex shivered and stopped walking, Amy following suit.

"So, what are you saying? Vampires are damned to be alone for the rest of their existence because sooner or later their lovers will die? Great. This makes me ask myself if there's any sense in continuing to exist at all."

Alex stared at Amy, silently daring her to contradict.

"No, Alex," Amy said softly. "What I'm saying is that it is much more efficient for a vampire to chose another vampire as a partner, than bothering to build up a relationship to a short-lived human. Because, believe it or not, soon you will find that a human lifespan is barely longer than a few seconds compared to the eternity of our existence."

Alex felt her head begin to spin. She looked at the beautiful woman in front of her. Maybe she was right… Maybe she should just go with her and leave her past behind her.

Alex eyes dropped from Amy's eyes to her lips and watched them form into a smile, before moving forward and pressing her own lips against them. She felt Amy's hands cup her face and soon deepened the kiss.

They pulled apart after a few moments and Alex saw Amy's eyes sparkling with passion.

"Come with me, Alex. I don't know if we'll work out – I'm not really a relationship kind-of-person…"Amy said in a husky voice.

"Neither am I," Alex mumbled.

"… But I'll teach you how to hunt vampires. And we'll have a good time, hum?"

Alex looked into Amy's dark eyes and felt herself getting lost in emotion and thought. Maybe this was just what she needed. Images of Marissa and the dark-haired girl flashed before her eyes and she quickly pushed them aside. She would go to New York with Amy. They would hunt vampires at night and share a bed at night. What more could she possibly ask for? Love, a little voice in her head suggested, but Alex mentally shook her head. She was a vampire – vampires don't love.

"Hmm, don't you think we should go look for a hotel, Victoria gave me some money, you know?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow seductively.

Amy smirked. "Yeah, I'm totally tired. But there's just this one problem… I tend to get scared when I'm alone at night…"

Alex grinned back. "Oh, I think I can help you there…"

They continued their way down the dark streets and soon found a hotel where they then rented a room. After a few more beers, Alex and Amy finally went to bed. And after a few more hours of heated passion, they finally went to sleep.

Amy fell asleep almost immediately, while Alex lay awake for some more time, thinking about her future. Some weeks ago, she would have said Marissa was the most important factor in her life and future. Now she felt Marissa slowly drifting away from her, as the visual of a very different future began to settle in her mind. Scratch the love, keep the sex and add the killing of vampires - that was her future now. Like it or not, learn to live with it, Kelly, she told herself as she finally began to fall asleep.

A/N: Wow, this update took me ridiculously long… I'll try to be faster again. And sorry 'bout the part with Darian… I know it sucked. I wasn't really in the mood to write that scene but it had to be there… oh well.
Anyone of you seen Linkin Park live before? If not, you should do so if you ever get the opportunity. They're incredible! : )