11
It was dark in the living room, as all artificial lights had been turned off. The windows were all wide open, the drapes pulled back all the way. Faint moonlight flowed into the room, giving it a ghostly shimmer. Aligned on the floor as a circle were numerous little candles, their tiny flames flickering at the soft wind coming from outside.
Marissa couldn't tell how long she had already been sitting there, in the center of the circle, her eyes shut tightly. When she finally opened them again, they were shining with unshed tears. She slowly reached out with one hand and picked up a picture. She caressed the wooden frame with her thumbs and smiled down at the photograph of herself, embracing Alex from behind. They were both beaming with pure happiness.
"I'm coming," Marissa whispered and felt a sudden peacefulness fill her. This was it. They would be together again, at last – in what form soever.
She set the picture aside and took a small, sharp kitchen knife into her hands.
Her hands had been shaking mere minutes earlier, when she had been lighting the candles, but now they were perfectly calm – she was perfectly calm.
Marissa's fingers locked themselves firmly around the knife's handle. She lead the blade towards her left wrist – and let it glide from left to right.
The pain came immediately and with shocking intensity. Marissa flinched ever so slightly, but watched with a smile as a little bloodstream flowed across her forearm. More pressure, she thought.
She raised the knife once more and cut again – and then a third time.
She closed her eyes again. She could feel her warm blood on her arm, but knew it wasn't enough. Again she cut, for the forth time – eyes still shut – and then she could feel the blood pumping out of her forearm. An artery, some part of her brain registered.
She set the knife beside her and touched her bleeding arm with two fingers. Judging from the painful throbbing, blood was now streaming out of her in much larger amounts – she didn't open her eyes to check.
Marissa inhaled deeply, pushing all the pain away from her mind.
As she slowly felt her body weaken, all her consciousness was focused on Alex. The darkness surrounding her was becoming deeper and Marissa felt herself being engulfed. The time to let go was slowly creeping closer. The darkness around her, the darkness in her head was now darker than black, but instead of being scared and backing away, Marissa mentally leant forward to embrace it. She was not afraid of death – she didn't even consider herself to be dying. She considered herself to be going home – home to Alex.
Alex had begun her way toward the apartment in a moderate jog, and ended it sprinting as fast as she could. She couldn't quite explain her feeling, but fear for Marissa had taken over her at some point.
She only slowed her pace when she arrived at the driveway. She walked up to the door, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself. All the lights in the apartment were turned off, she noticed. But there was a faint glimmer…
Alex walked up to the windows of the living room and cautiously looked inside.
Candles, being the only source of light in the room, were set on the floor, drawing a circle around Marissa. Marissa…
If Alex' heart had still been beating then, it would have stopped dead with shock.
Marissa was sitting on the floor, cross-legged, a bloody knife at her side. Streams of crimson were flowing, pulsating, out of her left arm. Two small lines of black mascara on her cheeks showed that she had been crying – a fact that contrasted against the smile on her lips.
Alex had jumped in through one of the open windows in an instant and immediately the smell of blood – human blood… Marissa's blood – filled her nose.
Careful not to hit any candles, Alex kneeled down in front of Marissa and looked down at her arm. For a moment Alex simply stared in shock as Marissa's heart pumped more life out of her each second. Then Alex' head jerked up and her eyes locked on Marissa's face. She was pale and her eyes were shut tightly. Alex quickly shut her hand tightly around the other girl's forearm. The blood felt slippery and hot against her own cold skin, and the throbbing sensation beneath her hand was more than unpleasant, but Alex barely even noticed it. She cupped Marissa's face with her free hand and flinched when she saw that Marissa's cheeks were almost as white as her own skin.
"Marissa," Alex whispered urgently. "Marissa, can you hear me?"
The dying girl showed no reaction.
"Marissa," Alex repeated, louder. Again, no reaction.
"Marissa!" Alex yelled. She let go of Marissa's face and slapped her in the same movement.
A small groan left Marissa's lips and Alex instantly reached her hand out again to caress her face.
"Marissa! Marissa! Don't leave me… Stay awake, okay?"
Marissa's eyes fluttered open but didn't focus – she just stared into nothingness.
"Yes, that's right, keep your eyes open. I'm with you."
While speaking, Alex cautiously let go of Marissa's arm, which was still bleeding freely, and then quickly got up, picking up the knife on her way. She hurried into the bathroom, threw the knife into the sink, swiftly washed most of the blood off her hand and then grasped the first aid kit plus the first towel she saw.
She ran back into the living room, taking up her position in front of Marissa again.
She saw with relief that Marissa was still conscious. The younger girl stared at her in wonder, as she quickly pressed the towel against her wounds. She must have been in pain, but her only reaction was a smile. An incredibly sweet and sincere smile.
Alex held the towel in place with one hand and opened the first-aid kit with the other. She tried to remember what she had learned in her first-aid class almost two years ago and quickly applied compression bandages to the deeper wounds. She put band aids to the other cuts and then began to clean up the mess on Marissa's arm with a clean part of the towel.
Suddenly, Alex felt a trembling hand against her cheek and looked up to meet Marissa's gaze.
"Alex," Marissa croaked and Alex' heart broke a little more.
"Yes," she answered quietly in what she hoped was a secure voice. "I'm here."
"Are you an angel?" Marissa asked in a barely audible whisper.
Alex felt another sting in her lifeless heart. "No," she said, her voice raw as if she hadn't used it for weeks. "I'm no angel." I'm a monster.
Marissa smiled a weak, but knowing smile. "You're here to take me home, aren't you. So we can be together again."
"Marissa, listen to me. You are not dead. And please, don't hurt yourself again. Live – do it for me…" Alex pleaded, but her voice was strong and stable again.
Marissa simply stared at her for some long moments, as if trying to evaluate what Alex had just told her.
"Okay… For… you…" Marissa finally whispered – and then her eyes unfocused again, as she slumped forward.
Alex caught her softly and held her in her arms for a moment. She inhaled the scent of Marissa's hair and it sent shivers through her body. Home. She was home.
Alex got up and took the larger girl into her arms. She carried Marissa to the sofa and gently laid her down on it. She brushed over Marissa's face lovingly with her hand.
"You'll be all right," she whispered.
She checked Marissa's pulse and her breathing; they seemed to be alright.
Then she turned away and started to put out the candles and put them aside. She got another towel, wetted it with warm water and then softly cleaned Marissa's arm again, until it was completely blood-free. She got Marissa's pyjamas from her bedroom and gently took off the other girl's partly blood-stained clothes.
Alex couldn't help but let her eyes wander over Marissa's body while cladding her in her nightwear. "Oh, Marissa," she whispered subconsciously, before turning to clean the mess on the floor.
Two months. It had been almost two months now. Two months without awakening with Marissa at her side. Two months without talking to her, without laughing with her, without touching her. Now being this near to her, all of a sudden… it was overwhelming.
It was bittersweet torture. Marissa had talked to her, even smiled at her. The thought of going back to watching her from afar was so incredibly painful, that Alex forbade herself to think of it. Instead she thought of what had just happened and Marissa's words echoed in Alex' head. Are you an angel?
It took Alex quite a while to get all the blood off the carpet. When she had finally managed to do so, she went back into the bathroom. The lavatory could have been part of a murder scene, by looks of it. Big red blotches on the white ceramic added to the menacing look of the bloody knife.
Alex washed the knife and then her own hands, considerably more thoroughly this time. She watched in a kind of silent fascination as the dark red color, which flowed down her hands and down the sink, slowly became lighter and finally disappeared altogether.
Alex sighed of a reason unbeknown to herself and then put the clean knife back into the kitchen. She went back into the living room and suddenly realized that though she herself found the temperature quite convenient, it had to be rather cold for Marissa. She quickly shut all the windows and pulled the drapes closed.
She then sat down beside Marissa and watched her for a while, before she finally knelt down next to the sofa to renew the bandages. She worked quickly and clean, without making much of a mess.
After cleaning Marissa's arm one more time, Alex picked her up again and carried her to the bedroom. She pulled the sheets back with one hand and then laid her ex-girlfriend onto the bed, careful not to put any weight on the injured arm. She covered Marissa with the blanket and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.
Marissa lay quite still, but Alex trusted her deep breathing to be a sign she would be okay.
The young vampire went back into the living room to put Marissa's bloody clothes and the once-white now-crimson towels away. Then she returned to the bedroom and took her place on a chair next to the bed, where she remained for hours to follow, watching the object of her dreams, the object of her fears, sleep.
Again and again, Alex replayed the situation earlier in her head. Alex… Having heard Marissa say her name once more meant incredibly much to her. Are you an angel?
Alex fought against the tears that were forming in her eyes. You're here to take me home, aren't you. Silent tears ran down Alex' cheeks now. She had promised herself not to cry anymore. But this was different. These tears weren't tears of anger or self-pity. They were tears of love. So we can be together again. Alex shut her eyes tightly, but she didn't even try to hold back the new rush of tears that slowly dripped down her face.
When it finally began to dawn the next morning, Alex stood up and put the chair back where she had gotten it from.
She bent down over Marissa's sleeping form and gently kissed her on the lips.
"This might have been our last kiss," Alex whispered sadly, "but I will love you, forever." And only an immortal creature knows what forever really means.
Alex smiled at the sleeping girl for one last time. "I know that sounded cheesy. But that's just how I feel. I wish I could tell you."
Then she left the apartment without making a sound and slowly walked back to the hotel.
Alex had the inexplicable feeling that Marissa would be okay, at least for now – otherwise she wouldn't have left her side.
The young vampire suddenly noticed that there was still a scent of blood around her and realized that there were stains of Marissa's blood on her clothes – and all of a sudden she felt a thirst so strong she had never felt before. She realized how risky it had been – or should have been? – for her to be with Marissa injured so badly. She shivered at the thought of what could have happened… but then again she seemed to have some kind of super control over her blood thirst: she hadn't even thought of attacking Marissa throughout all the night.
"Whatever," Alex growled into the still-darkness outside, her crimson eyes sparkling madly. However important those thoughts were to her, there was something of even more importance at that moment. She had to hunt. Now.
A/N: Okay, I learned not to make any promises concerning faster updates… You just never know what life has in store for you…
Btw, if you ever find any mistakes – be it contentwise or grammatical ones – please tell me! Especially if I happen to use an idiom incorrectly… Or if a sentence simply sounds really stupid… You don't have to be afraid to hurt my feelings ;-), I can take criticism. :) I love this language, and I'm grateful for any help to improve my English.