"…You know, you could have just used a kunai."

"…Bite me."

Kurenai was standing in front of Itachi, trying to dig a piece of metal out from underneath his flesh. The missing-nin had insisted, and eventually had relented to Kurenai's demands of making dinner herself that night. "Neither of you can cook," she had grouched, and Itachi had let her. Now, he sat flinching in pain as she shoved her fingers into his arm, aiming for the shrapnel in his forearm.

"Ouch…! Not so-ow!"

"Hold still, you little ass!"

"Bite me!"

Itachi glared at Kurenai as she withdrew her hand, holding the piece of metal. "And what the hell were you doing that you got a piece of metal stuck in your arm?"

"Mission," Itachi grunted, still watching as Kurenai found a roll of bandages and gauze. "This will sting," she warned, pulling the top off a bottle of ointment.

"I'm a ninja, Kurenai," Itachi snapped. "I'm used to pain."

Kurenai shrugged. "Whatever."

Itachi hissed in pain as Kurenai swept the iodine across the open wound, trying to clean it out. "Get a tetanus shot as soon as you can," she said as she worked. "Tetanus lives in metal, and since this is under the fat on your skin, you need a vaccination."

Itachi hissed again as Kurenai went after the wound again, but he didn't move. "And where do you suppose I get this?"

Kurenai shrugged. "I know a guy. How about I get it for you?"

Itachi sighed. "I will be asking a few people if it's safe, you know that, right?"

"Of course," Kurenai said. "Anyway, would you please hold still?"
Itachi glared, but stilled his motion.

Kurenai set the iodine aside and reached for the gauze. "Don't move." She quickly wrapped it around the gash, putting enough pressure on it to stop the bleeding. "This should absorb the blood, and the bandages will be there to catch whatever this doesn't and to hold this in place."

Itachi nodded as Kurenai cut the gauze and began winding bandages over that. "Where'd you learn to do this?"

"I got lots of practice," Kurenai said ruefully. Itachi believed it; Kurenai's touch was surprisingly gentle for a ninja's. Kurenai taped the bandages in place and pulled Itachi's sleeve back down. "Come on, you," she said, stepping back. "You're good. I should have that vaccine in a few days."

Itachi wordlessly nodded and stood up. "So, what are you making?"

"When I find something, I will let you know."
Itachi smirked. "Better than me. I usually tell Kisame to do whatever he wants, because I don't know."
Kurenai opened a cabinet and peeked inside. Reaching into the back, she pulled out a dusty can of…Itachi actually had no idea what it was. Turning it, Kurenai wiped the dust off a spot and squinted to read the side.

"Oh, no," she said slowly.

"What?" Itachi asked, walking over.

"The expiration date is a higher number than Kisame's IQ!"

"Bite me," the shark-man muttered as he slammed the door. For a moment he just stood there, staring at Kurenai, and then he dropped his enormous sword in the middle of the floor and sighed.

"Bleh…horrible day of missions…"

"Don't talk," Itachi snapped. He held up his bandaged arm, and the fishnet shirt he was wearing did little to hide the bandages. "Piece of metal flew at me in an explosion and lodged in my arm. SO this one goes in with her bare hands and digs it out! And then she gets vicious with the iodine and tells me she's getting me a vaccination for tetanus, because it lives in metal."

Kisame laughed. "Haha, you need a-ouch, watch it!!"

"Mmm!" Itachi stuck out his tongue and made a face. "Haha, now who's laughing?"

"Asshole." Kisame slunk into the next room and collapsed on the couch. "Somebody get me food."

Kurenai threw the can at Kisame's head…and hit dead center.

"Hey!!" Kisame picked up the can and hurled it back at Itachi. "It's older than you anyway!"

"And how do you know how old I am?"

Kisame sighed and chucked the can into the garbage can. "Okay, since you're all being asses I'm going to my room. Let me know when you find something edible for dinner."

"Go fish."

"I'm too tired."

Itachi smiled and turned back to Kurenai. "Okay, so is there anything in there we can eat?"
Kurenai shrugged. "When I find something, I will be glad to let you know."

OOOOOOOOO

Asuma paced in front of Tsunade angrily.

"Come on, what is taking so long?!"

"I'm trying, Asuma, now calm down!"

Asuma sighed and collapsed in a chair. "I'm just stressed, that's all. My best friend was raped and is currently in the hospital with extreme trauma from a torture jutsu and my girlfriend is the prisoner of the Akatsuki, more specifically the very man who tortured the aforementioned friend!"

Tsunade sighed. "I'm working on it, and so are the ANBU."
Tsunade stood over Kakashi, searching his mind to try to see what exactly had happened. Kakashi was asleep, but he knew what Tsunade would be doing in case he woke up. Tsunade had found nothing so far, and Kakashi was beginning to wake up. Tsunade sighed and sifted through one last section of Kakashi's memory.

"This looks around the time I need," she mused. "About five days ago."
Asuma nodded and walked over to Tsunade's side. He sat down on the edge of Kakashi's bed and placed one of his hands on the jounin's forehead.

"He's hot."
Tsunade nodded. "He came down with a fever last night."

Asuma sighed and removed his hand. "Will he be okay?"

"Probably," Tsunade said slowly. "Hold on, I think I found something."
Tsunade dug deeper into Kakashi's mind, seeing the image of Itachi. What the…? Itachi was running through the forest, heading North-

"I got it!"

"What?"

"The location of the Akatsuki headquarters!" Tsunade jumped up. "Wake him, please?"
Asuma nodded and gently took Kakashi's shoulders in his hands. "Kakashi," he murmured, slightly shaking the jounin. "Kakashi, wake up, Tsunade's done."

Kakashi's mis-matched eyes slowly opened, and he turned onto his back to stare into Asuma's face.

"Did she find anything?" he asked, still a bit asleep. Kakashi sat up and pressed a small hand to his forehead. "My head is pounding…"
Asuma nodded. "She was able to figure out where the Akatsuki actually had their headquarters," he continued, "and she's going to find some ANBU to go with her to find Kurenai."

Kakashi nodded and leaned back against the pillow. "I'm cold."

"How can you be cold? You have a fever of 101, and you're as sick as a dog. How can you possibly be cold?"

Kakashi shrugged and found the blanket from where it had tangled in his feet. "I dunno…"
Asuma sighed. "Are you hungry at all?"
Kakashi shook his head. "Where's Tsunade-sama now?"

"Probably in her office summoning ANBU."

Kakashi closed his eyes. "Okay. Tell her I'll be asleep."

"You're a cat," Asuma said dryly. "You sleep all day, you're very aloof, and you seem concerned about your hair…"
Kakashi shrugged. Asuma thought it was one of the most innocent looks he had ever been given by Kakashi.

"Yeah…yeah, sure…"

He stood and walked out of the room, softly closing the door behind him.

OOOOOOOOO

Kurenai finally found a box of rice that hadn't expired three years ago and some frozen vegetables that hadn't been freezer burned and some near-fresh meat in the refrigerator. These she threw into one frying pan and cooked for long enough to defrost them and then found a bottle of Teriyaki sauce in the back of the refrigerator. By some stroke of luck it was still good, and Kurenai had managed to get a decent dinner on the table for the first time since Itachi had joined the Akatsuki.

Itachi had taken his food and went into the living room; Kurenai didn't know why, but the Uchiha looked like he was in a bad mood so she decided to leave him alone. As she was cleaning up, she could have sworn she heard him leave, but she didn't see him at all for the rest of the night.

Kurenai went to bed that night thinking about Asuma.

At around two in the morning, she woke up to the door opening. Startled, Kurenai reached for the kunai she had "borrowed" from Itachi and sat up, ready to defend herself. Instead, she only heard someone collapsing on the couch outside her room. Kurenai slowly stepped out of bed, pushing back the covers, and opened her door.

Itachi lay across the arms of the couch, bleeding badly from several large wounds on his body.

Kurenai gasped and rushed over to him. Apparently, Itachi hadn't seen or heard her come out of her room, because he started when he heard her gasp. He relaxed when he saw it was only her, and let her examine his wounds.

"I didn't see you go out," she whispered, trying not to wake Kisame. Itachi hissed and flinched as Kurenai's fingers danced over the wounds, and Kurenai felt him shrink back a bit.

"Genjutsu," he grunted. "Okay, find someone who knows how to heal," he continued, and Kurenai straightened.

"Hold still."

"What the-?!"

Kurenai's hands glowed an eerie green in the dark of Itachi's apartment at night, and Itachi watched in fascination as the wounds began to close over before his eyes.

"How do you know how to heal?" he asked.

"I learned from Tsunade-sama," Kurenai said simply. "Now stop moving, I can't do this right if you're moving."

Itachi stilled his motion and held completely still as Kurenai's hands roamed his body. Everywhere, cuts, bruises, and abrasions vanished with the passing of Kurenai's soft, gentle hands, and Itachi could feel even old scar tissue repairing itself.

Finally, Kurenai lifted her hands. "I'm done."

Itachi slowly sat up, staring at the now-clean patches of skin where wounds used to be. "How…did you do this…?"
Kurenai shook her head. "Never you mind. Consider it repayment for whatever I owe you."

Itachi nodded and stood up.

"Get to sleep now," Kurenai said. "I'll hear your story in the morning."

OOOOOOOOO

Itachi woke up to a harsh scream.

"Wake up, you little bastard!!!"
Itachi rolled over, mumbling something horrible at Kurenai under his breath.

"It's Kurenai, you freak, now get up!!"

Itachi reached for the kunai he had slipped underneath his pillow the previous night and hurled it blindly at his antagonizer. Apparently it had hit, or at least grazed the person, because there was another screech and someone slapped him firmly on the rear.

"That was…naughty, Itachi…" the person muttered, then took hold of the covers and yanked them off Itachi's body.

"Get up, already!"

"Kakuza shut your trap."

"I-I'm your leader, don't you dare talk to me like that!"

"You're also weaker than me."

"Respect your elders!"

"Respect those who can snap your head from your neck in a matter of seconds unless you want them to. Now leave, I want to sleep."
Kakuza sighed and slapped Itachi's rump again. "Get up, now."

"No."

"Insolent little child! Do as you're told!"

"No."

Kakuza leaned over and gripped Itachi's hair at the nape of his neck. "Orochimaru is here for you."

All of a sudden, Itachi was very much awake. "Cool! I get to spar with someone who lasts longer than six seconds! And then, when he's next to dead on the ground, I get to rub it in his snaky face!"

Kurenai walked in just as Kakuza mentioned Orochimaru. "Cool," she commented as Itachi said he would pound Orochimaru into the ground. "Can I watch?"

"Sure," Itachi said. "It's gonna be good this time, because it'll be my fifth time beating him bloody and senseless."

Kurenai sighed. "I guess I'll be playing den mother to more than one person today."
Kakuza arched one eyebrow, then yanked the pillow out from underneath Itachi's head and smacked him firmly with it. "Up. Now."

Itachi's Mangekyou glared back, and Kakuza took an uncertain step back.

"Out. Now."

Kakuza reluctantly abandoned all attempts at making Itachi comply and fled the room. Kurenai sat down next to Itachi and smiled.

"Boxers."

Itachi looked down. Sure enough, his boxers were slipping down his hips, and he was almost completely exposed to a giggling Kurenai. Blushing furiously, the Uchiha yanked them back up, giving Kurenai a vicious glare.

"I suppose that's funny, huh?" he snapped.

"Yeah, it is," Kurenai replied. "Anyway, you need to get dressed, and I need to hear your sob story from last night."
Itachi sighed. "I went out last night to get more food. On the way there, I met…an old friend, how about, and it seems he was still mad at me for an old…um, offense. Total accident, but he was an ass about it, so…yeah…we fought, I won, and he slunk off into the bushes puking blood."

Kurenai raised an eyebrow. "An who might this old friend be?"

"The Yakushi's boy; Kabuto, I think his name was."

Kurenai's eyes widened. "Kabuto? Did you say…Yakushi Kabuto?"

"Yeah…" Itachi said slowly. "Why?"

"Where is he now?"

"He's a subordinate of Orochimaru's, so I suspect he went back to him…"

"And where's Orochimaru?"

"Right here, bitch."

Kurenai whirled, seeing the sannin standing in the doorway, snickering. "Cute," he sneered, motioning to Itachi's boxers. Itachi's cheeks flamed, and he advanced on Orochimaru with something like bloodlust.

"Say that again," he whispered, a dead calm in his voice. "Say it again, say it to my face, who horrible little ass."

Orochimaru barely flinched before the superior ninja. Of course; even if he were afraid, Orochimaru would never show it.

"Kabuto, I believe someone was wondering where you were."

A young, silver haired boy stepped out from behind Orochimaru. Glasses half-hid his eyes and reflected the light in an eerie manner that made Kurenai shiver. Orochimaru looked at Kurenai and smirked much the same way Kabuto was.

"Remember us…?"

A/N: I have gotten really positive reactions from the ItaKuren parts of this, and I'm glad you all like it. Feel free to give me ideas for this, I can always use them…Thank you everyone who reviews in advance!! . Hugs!!