Chapter 9:Searching Again

It's been four months since Nelari and her family helped to heal the agony that my heart carried. Lahur has been helping me search for Raph, it's been slow going though sorting through files and rough paperwork.

As much as I fear going home, going back to that life. I can't leave my brother as a slave.

I sigh as I glance at the clock and see that its late. Nelari will be waiting for me to escort her back home. I get up and put the slave files back before leaving the room and heading out the door.

As I walk, I hunch, my jacket edge flipped up to hide the scarring on my throat. I trudge along the narrow paths toward the building where Nelari works, she's a dancer, or was, she teaches now. I step into the building nearly twenty minutes later and find her cleaning things up.

"Hey, did you-" she starts.

"No," I mumble.

She gives me a sad look, before walking over and kissing my cheek.

"We'll find him," she whispers.

I simply shrug.

"I…don't know if I want to find him…if they…they…what if he just pushes me back into the mold I was forced to live in before? I can't do that anymore, I can't live like that, not after knowing you and your parents," I say as I stop and look at her, "…but…I can make him…I can't leave him to that fate either."

I simply don't know what to think anymore, I'm more lost than ever. I glance up as she cups my cheek and pulls me toward her.

"Leh'ya, you don't have to go back," she whispers.

"My brothers need m-" I start.

"They can take care of themselves. Think about you. What do you want to do with the rest of your life? Do you want to baby-sit until you're too old to do anything else? Or do you want to find what you're good at?" she asks me.

I look at her, my dull ugly brown eyes meeting her clear, sapphire blue. I don't know, I though I wanted to help Lahur, I thought I could leave the pain behind. But I love my brothers even as they look past me.

"I…want to…see my brothers again," I manage, "I don't know…how to change."

She looks at me in surprise and then I see the sorrow there.

"You love them despite everything don't you?" she whispers.

I manage a nod and pull my gaze away.

"We best get back," I whisper, "it's getting dark."

"Ok," she says softly.

~*~

By the time we get there its getting dark and I know something's wrong as we round the corner.

I freeze when I see the door off the hinge and the shutters open.

"NO!" Nelari screams, trying to run forward.

I grab her and drag her tight, frantic to keep one strand of kindness with me.

"Wait," I beg, frantically trying to get her attention, "Please NEL!"

She stops, when she hears my plea, tears rolling down her cheeks. Before I can say anything else she clings to me and sobs. I hug her and bury my face against her hair, something I've longed to do, but not like this…I never wanted this.

After we get a hold of a neighbor and call the authorities the place is searched and Nelari's parents are found.

She weeps for days, there was a letter next to her father that said if Nelari didn't leave in three days they would kill her too. The arrangements have been made Nelari, my angel is going back to her home planet to live with her grandparents.

I'm being left alone again. I sit on the bed they gave me and listen to her pack fighting tears and hugging myself.

I love her, I know that know.

I look around and struggle to know what to do, but I know what I have to do. I don't think I could stand a goodbye.

As quietly as I can I gather my few things and slip out into the hall. My Katanas, the new Sai I forged for Raph, the new mask Nelari's mother made for him, and my mask. I pause, listening for a moment and then let a letter drop to the floor of her open door before I leave.

It'll be easier this way, I won't have to be left alone.

As I open the door I hear my name called.

"LEH'YA!" she cries, "NO!"

I weep as I vanish into the shadows.

"Leh'ya! Please! Don't leave me alone!" she sobs, I stop and turn, glancing out of the shadows to see her on the porch, clutching my letter and sobbing.

"Please," she whispers, "please."

Before I know it I'm beside her, I drop my things and wrap my arms around her in comfort.

"I'm sorry," I choke out, "I just didn't want to say good-bye."

She clings to me and just sobs.

"I'm scared to be alone," she whispers.

I hug her tight and fight my own tears.

~*~

The next morning we leave for the space port and I escort her to her platform, my things on my shoulders.

As she turns to get on I step back and start to melt into the crowd.

"Leh'ya?" she calls, "where are you going?"

I stop and turn, startled to see a second ticket in her hand, I blink in surprise.

"But-" I manage.

"We'll keep looking when we get there," she tells me, "I promise I'll help you find him."

I manage a smile and sigh.

"Fine but I get the window seat," I whisper.

She blinks and then starts laughing. I crack a grin.

Why?

I have absolutely no clue, but it feels good to laugh.

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