I own nothing apart from Lorelai and the plot

Chapter Seven

Lorelai P.O.V

I sighed and stared agitatedly at the page in front of me, feeling distracted and frustrated. I slammed the book shut and buried my face in my hands, groaning at the pounding in my head. Paul and I had been dating for almost five months and things had calmed; people had finally gotten over the fact that Paul was dating someone.

Girls were, of course, still throwing themselves at him with the hope that he'll spare some attention but most had given up. Sarah, unfortunately, was not one of those giving up but thankfully wasn't being so full on about it all. I had no friends though, apart from the ones that Paul had, Sarah effectively turning everyone against me with a few rumours that I had "stolen Paul from her".

The problem currently was eating at me. I've known since I first met Paul that something was different about him. I still didn't know what his big secret was and sometimes I felt like I barely knew him, the real him. Everything that I have been told about Paul is all about his time at university; I knew nothing about his parents and nothing more on where he was from, where he had grown up. It frustrated me, knowing that he knew everything about me that there was to know, and that included having a very awkward conversation about my ex-boyfriend.

FLASHBACK

We were lying on Paul's bed relaxing after a tiring day of work and study; exams were approaching for both of us and we had been studying like mad. We were watching a random movie on television, both of us practically asleep.

"What were your ex-boyfriends like?" He asked suddenly, shifting slightly so he could look down at me.

I blinked sleepily and it took me a moment to realise what he had just asked me, "Did you just ask me about my ex-boyfriends?" I asked, slightly shocked.

He blushed and shrugged, "I just wanted to know about them." He said defensively, "Well?" He repeated.

"What...I...what do you want to know?" I eventually asked feeling very awkward.

He squirmed slightly, "Was it serious? How many boyfriends have you had?"

"I've only had two boyfriends. The first wasn't serious; I was in grade six and it was pretty silly." I admitted, remembering the small dorky guy that I had told people I was going out with, "I was with my second boyfriend for three months but he wanted to...do more than I was ready or willing to do." I paused and continued, "I caught him cheating on me with one of my friends and we broke up then."

"That's it?" Paul asked.

"That's it. It wasn't anything serious; I was fifteen when I was with him. He was sixteen and was at the stage of rooting anything with two legs and boobs." I said, leaning up to kiss him, "You're the only guy that I have ever been serious about and will only be serious about."

END FLASHBACK

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to push and nag at him to tell me everything about him but I couldn't stop thinking that he didn't trust me enough to tell me. Did he trust me? Did he consider our relationship not serious enough to tell me? I didn't know what to think; should I confront him about it? Would I seem demanding and bitchy if I asked him to tell me everything?

I sighed and glanced down at Merlin who was curled up next to the small electric heater purring softly and wished that I could just curl up and ignore everything. I stood and began pacing around the small apartment, thinking of different ways that I could begin any conversation with Paul about his past. I know that he had said to give him time and he would tell me, but would he really?

Could whatever he wants to tell me be bad enough that it would end our relationship?

I jumped and stumbled as someone knocked on the door startling me. I cursed, rubbing my shin as I wobbled to the door. I flung it open, scowling at the pain shooting up my leg. Paul looked down at me worriedly.

"What happened?" He asked, helping me over to a seat as though I was crippled.

I slapped his hands away gently, "I'm fine; I tripped when you knocked on the door." I grumbled, slouching forward on to the table and groaning.

"How late have you been staying up?" Paul said and I could hear the frown in his voice.

"I just haven't been sleeping well; I've been going to bed at nine-ish." I said, my voice grumbled by the barrier of my arms.

Paul's warm hand ran soothingly down my back, "You're going to do fine in your exams." He said reassuringly, bending down so he could kiss the top of my head.

I had taken extra classes so that I could finish my entire course this year and be ready to start teaching by next year. Paul had already finished his final exams and was just waiting on his results. He hadn't been stressing over his exams, confident that he knew everything perfectly especially after having worked in a hospital.

"Yeah, I know." I murmured, leaning back against his embrace and resting my head on his arm.

His presence calmed me and I forgot about all my worries as he gently lifted me up and carried me to my bed. Paul laid me down, sitting down next to me with a worried expression on his face. I knew that he was going doctor on me, analysing everything that could be wrong. He did that to me a lot whenever he was worried about me.

"You've been this tired for a while now." He said, frowning.

I snuggled into his arms feeling nice and warm, "So?"

"So? Lorry, it's not even nine and you're exhausted. Now that I think about it you're always tired." He said still frowning.

I shrugged, not seeing what he was getting at, "That's because I've been studying." I said not bothered, closing my eyes.

"I think you should go get a blood test done." He said seriously.

My eyes flew open and up to his face, "Why? I'm just tired." I argued, shuddering at the thought of having blood out.

I hate needles.

"I think you have glandular fever." He said, "You've got a few of the symptoms; tiredness, high temperatures and aches."

"It's just stress." I protested. "I'm not going."

...........................................................................................................................................................................

"You can't make me do this! I don't want a needle!" I protested as Paul carried me down to pathology over his shoulder. I pounded my fists on his back, "Put me down Paul." I demanded.

Lee was walking behind him chuckling, "I didn't strike you as the type of girl who would just be hanging around, Lorry." Lee grinned.

"That was so lame Lee." I snapped, struggling but Paul's arm around my legs kept me pinned in my position easily. "You know, this is kidnapping." I told him.

After Paul had mentioned taking me to the doctors I thought I had convinced him that I was fine and a good night sleep would do me good. He left with the excuse that he needed to see Lee about something and the next morning I was rudely woken by Lee and Paul barging into my room. They told me that they wanted to go to the movies and the next thing I knew Paul was dragging me into the hospital with Lee as a back-up. The doctor was a friend of Paul's and agreed that a blood test would be needed; agreeing that I had symptoms that strongly suggested glandular fever.

Now we were moments away from someone sticking a needle in my arm and taking my blood.

Paul slowly put me back on my feet, pulling me on to his lap before I had a chance to run from him. Lee was leaning against the doorway, smirking at me as I tried to escape.

"Paul, I don't want to have a needle." I said firmly. When he ignored me I glared at him, "If you make me do this..."

"Number 2?" The nurse called, opening the sliding door after the woman before me had left, smiling at Paul. "Hello Paul." She greeted.

Paul stood and dragged me over, "She's a little anxious Deb." He told Deb, leaning against the seat I was on.

Deb smiled at me reassuringly, rummaging around for a needle. I tilted my head up, anxiously tapping my feet and squeezing my arms by my side. I hated needles like any other normal person and I did everything possible to make sure I never had to have any. Paul took my left hand, rubbing soothing circles but not even he could distract me effectively. I was too nervous to be calmed by his presence. I didn't faint when I saw needles but I start to hyperventilate or laugh. It's weird, I know, but that's how I handle the sight of needles and blood.

"Alright, I want you to take a deep breath." Deb instructed after she wiped my arm, right above my veins.

Paul began to panic as my breathing increased, realising I was hyperventilating. "Lorry, you need to breathe." He instructed, rubbing calming circles on my back and turning my head so I was looking at him, "Lorry, calm down." He instructed.

It didn't work; I couldn't be consoled when I was having a needle. Deb quickly finished and my breathing returned to normal after a moment but I felt terrible, shaking and feeling light headed.

"I want to leave." I said quietly, shaking.

I didn't speak to Paul as we walked out of the hospital and I knew he was feeling guilty but I hated needles and he would have some major sucking up to do before I forgave him. Lee was unusually quiet, sensing the tension between us and wisely not saying anything. When we got back to the campus Lee made some excuse to leave us alone but I walked straight to my room, aware that he was following me.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked once we were in the privacy of my room.

I glared at him, "Oh yes I feel fantastic after having a needle shoved up my arm and taking my blood. It's great hyperventilating."

"You needed it done." He said unapologetically, crossing his arms. "If the test comes back negative you can get whatever revenge you want on me but I feel better knowing whether something is wrong or not."

I sighed, flopping down on my bed and running a shaking hand through my hair, "I know I just really hate needles." I said pathetically, looking glumly down at the ground between my feet.

Paul kneeled down in front of my, taking my hands, "I'm sorry that I forced you to. I just don't like the thought of you hurt and I figured that if I knew I could fight it. That and I'm worried about how stressed you are lately."

I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck, "I'm sorry for being a bitch." I murmured into his neck.

He chuckled, "I'm sorry for being inconsiderate." He kissed the top of my head and pulled me back on to the bed so that I was curved against his chest.

"I'm tired." I murmured, closing my eyes sleepily.

"You're always tired." Paul said, rubbing gentle circles on my arm.

My next words destroyed the peaceful moment, my brain not functioning as I asked, "When are you going to tell me everything?"

I felt Paul stiffen, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Now that I had started the conversation I couldn't back down, wouldn't back down, "You're hiding something from me." I said softly, not wanting to have this argument now that we had just stopped arguing.

"No I'm not." He said too quickly, his voice harsh.

"Yes you are Paul." I countered.

He slid off the bed, turning back looking dangerously calm, "There's nothing to tell."

I copied him, standing at the foot of my bed looking up at him unwavering, "I know barely anything about you Paul. You won't tell me about where you grew up, the friends that you had; nothing. Why won't you tell me what your big secret is?" I shouted at him, "Do you think that little of me that you don't think I would understand?"

Paul's hands clenched at his side, his body stiffening at my words, "Has it ever occurred to you that it might be something I just don't want to tell you?" He shot back, anger evident in his eyes.

As soon as the words left his mouth regret flashed through his eyes. I knew he didn't like fighting and it seemed that all we did lately was fight about something whether it's about my health or studying or even this. I didn't know what to do; I'd never felt this strongly about anyone and I doubted that I would again. I would do anything to keep my relationship with Paul.

"Yu can trust me Paul." I said, lowering my voice.

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair, "It's got nothing to do about trust, Lorry."

With that he turned and walked out the door.