No Laughing Matter
Chapter 2
Claudine was the first to put the puzzle pieces together. She may be self-absorbed but she wasn't thick. She was smart enough and experienced enough to recognize what after sex looked like. Once you knew the look it was easy, simple, like breathing. And by the look on her face it was obvious she knew.
Lauren, sweet Lauren was less worried about why he was here as she kneeled next to him. "Are you ok?" She asked gingerly with her hand on the side of his face as he propped himself on his elbows. Jez wanted to scream at her. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs at the sweet girl who never did anything but care about him. No, he wasn't ok; he wanted to yell it at her. He was sleeping around with her boyfriend. He felt guilty but he couldn't bring himself to regret a single moment he had with Danny. He felt angry, an extreme amount of jealousy toward the girl.
Angry, because she had Danny in ways that he couldn't. They were free to hold hands when walking down the hallway. They were free to cuddle on the couch, in daylight while Jez was shoved into empty classrooms during breaks and ambushed in the locker room when everyone else had gone. "Oh, you're a mess!" Lauren laughed. She reached across him and pulled a hand towel from the stove handle. Her kindness was like a punch to the stomach. She held it out to him but Jez was staring past her. Lauren turned to see what held his attention.
Claudine.
She was stiff, stuck somewhere between shocked and . . . and something else Jez didn't want to imagine. He knew that as they sat there her brain was going to work. He had to do something because he knew what was coming next. "I-I" The words wouldn't form in his mouth. She was red in the face, fists shaking at her sides. He closed his eyes and flinched back waiting for impact. "You," She gave a quavered whisper low in her throat. He opened his eyes. "You little slut!" She shrieked. Lola, still sleepy jumped. Lauren's mouth fell open and Jez backed up until he was leaning against the counter curling in on himself. He wanted to make himself as small as possible. That wasn't easy when you were six-foot.
Claudine turned on her head and thundered to the bottom of the staircase. "Danny!" She squealed at the top of her lungs. "Danny! Danny Miller!" Lauren rose to her feet slowly not quite sure of what was going on. Both pair of eyes still in the kitchen turned on him. He put his head in his hands to escape their gaze.
"Fuck it all," Danny drawled from the top of the steps. "What do you want!" He sounded tired, like he had been sleeping. There was no sleeping going on in that room, that was for sure but Danny was a very good actor. "Do you know what bloody time it is?"
"Bed seem a little lonely up there, Danny? A little empty perhaps?" Claudine snapped with venom laced in her voice. It was sharp and cut right though Danny.
"Claudine, what are you talking about?" Lauren asked. Jez prayed that she wouldn't answer. Just keep quiet Claudine, just keep quiet for once in you life! He begged in his mind.
"Your fuck buddy seemed to have gotten lost." The silence that followed was long. The only sound was that of Jack Dawson "Don't let go Rose, never let go."
Jez pulled at his hair. He'd like to be anywhere but here at the moment/ He'd even rather be in his cold and oversized bedroom in his mansion of a house with his father telling him how worthless he was. He would have welcomed the familiar words of how he was wasting his life away twirling around dance studios and singing useless little songs.
Shame. It was a feeling he knew all to well but he had never felt more ashamed than the moment when Lauren's tear-filled eyes turned to him in realization. He felt dirty, sitting there with sweet, innocent Lauren's eyes on him. He rose to his feet, backed up against the counter.
And then Danny was there at the bottom of the steps and it hurt. It physically hurt in Jez's chest to even look at him. "Danny?" Lauren squeaked. She was looking for anything. She was looking for anything that she might tell her that it wasn't true. Jez wished that Danny had something to tell her. His mouth was parted, his eyes glassed over like he was silently crying without tears. It was a picture perfect image of when he was up on stage with Girls Aloud and wasn't able to read the question cards.
This was Danny Miller's tortured face.
Lauren's hand across Jez's cheek broke the silence. He eyes, still with tears now showed betrayal. Jez didn't know if the slap had been directed to purely him or at Danny but Jez was within arms reach. Or maybe it was directed at them both. He would slap him too if he was Lauren.
She ran from the house, pushing Danny roughly out of the way on her path to the front door. "Oh for gods sake," Claudine huffed. She shoved Danny chasing after the redheaded girl. Lola, confused and still very much in shock followed.
Jez slid to the floor once again, wrapping his arms over his stomach and becoming a small as possible. He slept with someone else's boyfriend. Not even just once, there were many times. He hurt an innocent girl, his friend. Claudine was right he was just a slut.
He closed his eyes but the tears spilled over as he replayed the phrase over and over again in his head.
Little slut.
Dirty little slut.
"Jez." Danny said weakly.
"I'm sorry," Jez choked.
"It's not your fault, yea?" Then there he was sitting next to him. Even though Jez pulled away arms still snaked their way around him and suddenly there was a chest to cry on.
He hurt Lauren. He hurt Danny. Hell, he was even hurting Claudine and her deluded crush. He was hurting himself. And sitting there as Danny kissed the top of his head telling him over and over that it wasn't his fault, he was hurting them all that much more.