DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, I do not own Sam or Dean. They belong to Eric Kripke (lucky!) And I am just playing with the boys for my own twisted entertainment.

CHAPTER FIVE: I KNOW WHY THEY ALL LEFT

Quickly, Dean pushed Sam away, jumping off his chair, making sure he was far enough away that Sam couldn't grab him up and plant one on him again. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he managed to make his voice work. "What the hell, Sammy?"

Sam stared at Dean with wide eyes gleaming with unshed tears. When Dean had pushed him, he had had fallen on his ass, and not made any attempt to get up. "D-Dean, I'm sorry. I don't--I mean, I didn't--" He sighed, shaking his head. "I don't know what I was thinking."

Listening to Sam apologize, Dean felt like a real ass for pushing him away. Dean knew what Sam was doing and why. It was all part of the curse. That damn succubus was responsible for the way his baby brother was feeling, and it pissed him the hell off. He knew pushing Sam away was going to do jack squat for their current situation, so he was determined to make this right and keep his brother alive. As long as he stayed with Sam, there was no way Sam was going to die. Sighing, he walked back towards his brother, wrapping his arms around him and helping him up. "I'm sorry, Sammy."

Pushing Dean away, Sam stumbled backwards. "No, Dean," he protested. "I--There's something wrong with me. Last-Last night I dreamed about fucking you. And-And then I felt like I couldn't breathe and I was going to have a heart attack when you weren't around me. When you weren't touching me!" Lowering his head, shaking it, he said, "I'm dangerous to be around because-because I'm fucked up. You just need to stay away."

Dean walked towards Sam again, reaching out and pulling him into a tight embrace, ignoring Sam's protests and attempts to slap him away. "It's this damn succubus, Sammy," he explained. "She has you all screwed up in the head. These aren't your feelings. She's making you feel this way." Pulling back and holding Sam at arms length, Dean continued, "Don't worry, Sammy. We're going to kill this bitch and then you'll be better. I promise."

Finally, Sam realized that Dean wasn't going to let go, so he allowed himself to relax into the hug. He even went as far as to put his arms around Dean, figuring Dean wasn't mad at him for the kiss. But it had been so good. So damn good, and Sam wanted more. Hell, he hadn't even had time to push his tongue into Dean's mouth before Dean pushed him away. And he wanted to. Wanted to have his tongue in Dean's mouth and savor the taste that was his brother.

Slowly, Sam pulled away, giving Dean a small smile. "Uh, I should research more about this succubus problem, see if I can find any information on her whereabouts." Sitting down and opening his laptop, he added, "Or maybe find some other way to cure this thing."b

"Okay," Dean nodded, taking a seat beside Sam. "Do you want me to do anything?" Normally, he wouldn't have even suggested he do research, but he wanted this damn thing gone as much as Sam did. Especially after that little kiss that was just forced onto him. What if it didn't stop at a kiss? Would he be able to get over it and give Sam what he needed? Honestly, he wasn't too sure about that if it came right down to it. He loved his brother sure, but enough to become an incestuous homosexual?

Slowly, Sam shook his head. "No, I got it." And he just didn't want to be in such close range as Dean. He knew that if Dean wasn't researching he was going to go over to the bed and probably sleep. Unless he was too scared to sleep. Thinking maybe Sam might try to kiss him again while he slept. Or worse. But Sam was determined to beat this thing. Failure was not an option and he would smash these feelings down deep inside of himself until he could make them go away.

After about ten minutes of watching Sam research, Dean was officially bored. Sighing, he stood, walking over to the fridge and retrieving his pie. Pie in hand, he stumbled to the bed, deciding that sitting on Sam's bed with the food was a much better idea than sitting on his own just in case he dropped anything. After all, he wasn't going to sleep in a bed with food spilled all over it, and he really didn't care if Sam did.

Thirty five minutes after Sam began researching he finally found something. Jumping up from his chair so quickly that it fell over, he looked at Dean who had become suddenly alert. Sam's breathing was heavy and his eyes were open wide which lead Dean to believe he had found something of interest. "Sammy, what is it? What did you find?"

"Dean, I know why they all left," Sam whispered, tears in his eyes. Slamming his computer shut, he ran into the bathroom, shrugging off Dean's hands as he tried to stop him. The door slammed behind Sam, leaving Dean in the living room, alone, beating on the locked door in an attempt to get in.

"Sammy!" Dean yelled, hitting the door with the side of his fist. "Sam, dammit, let me in! Sammy!" Again, he pounded on the door with the side of his fist. And this went on for a good twenty minutes before Dean heard Bobby come into the motel room.

"What are you doing, boy?" Bobby asked, walking up behind Dean and pulling him away from the scratched and dented bathroom door. "If you really have to go that bad, you could have just went out back."

"What?" Dean asked. "I don't have to take a piss, Bobby! Sammy locked himself in the bathroom and won't come out."

"Why? What did you do to him, you idjit?"

"I didn't do anything! He was researching, looking for ways to find this succubus bitch or a cure against her damn curse. And then he shot up, said 'Dean, I know why they left,' and ran into the bathroom. He's been in there ever since. He's hiding and it's not going to work." Dean walked back to the bathroom door, hitting it again. "You hear me, Sammy? I will fucking kick this door down!"

"Go away, Dean!" Sam yelled, hitting the door from the other side. "You're much better off without me, just go and let me die in my two weeks."

"No, you asshole!" Dean yelled, shocked Sam would even say that. "I'm not going anywhere so you might as well open this door and come out of there."

"No, Dean! I won't hurt you! And if I come out, that's exactly what I'll do!" Sam yelled. Dean could tell that he was crying, it was obvious in his voice.

"Dammit, Sam, get your ass out of that bathroom and we can deal with this like mature adults. Like hunters who know what the hell they're talking about!" When Sam didn't say anything, Dean hit the door again. "Sam!"

"Dean, he's not going to come out of there if you keep acting like that. No one would want to come out of a bathroom when a hostile hunter is on the other side of it." Sighing, Bobby sat on Sam's bed. "Now, what did he mean when he said he knew why they all left?"

"I don't know," Dean admitted, sighing and sitting next to Bobby. "He didn't tell me anything else. Just that and then he bolted to the bathroom. But it must have been bad news whatever it was. Sam doesn't just bolt and not tell me what the hell's going on."

"Well, when I was out, I went to the library and did a little more research. I had the librarian help me use a computer there, and if Sam and I found the same site, then it's no wonder he's locked himself in the bathroom and refuses to come out."

"Why? What'd you find, Bobby?"

"A reason why the one who was being focused on left the one who was being cursed. And, Dean, it's not pretty."

"What, Bobby?! Tell me, I can handle it!"

"Attempted rape."

"What?"

"Victim number one, infatuated with his teacher, right?" Dean nodded, letting Bobby knew he understood before Bobby continued. "He got kicked out of her class because he stayed late after a lecture and tried to force himself on her. Second victim, was evicted after stealing the keys to her apartment and trying to rape her late at night after she had gone home. Third guy, locked himself and the boss in her office, insisting that there was something between them and, again, trying to rape her." Bobby stood then, walking to the table and shuffling through some papers there. "And William's mother didn't put him in that asylum until after he tied her down and tried to force himself on her. If it wasn't for the nosy neighbors, he would have succeeded."

Chuckling, Dean shook his head. "That's what this is about?" He stood, walking to the table to stand beside Bobby. "Sam's worried that he's going to try to rape me?" Again, Dean chuckled. "Sammy's not going to try to rape me."

"How do you know that, boy?" Bobby asked, trying to make Dean understand that there was a definite chance Sam would do something like that now.

"Because it's Sam! And Sam wouldn't do something like that."

"No, Sam wouldn't," Bobby agreed, turning to face Dean. "But Sam isn't Sam right now. Sam is under the influence of a powerful succubus that is like none that I have even seen before! So Sam is in there,, but he's not steering the ship. And we don't know what he's capable of."

Shaking his head, Dean argued, "No, Sam is still Sam. He's strong enough to fight this thing and he will. And I will do whatever it takes to get him back."

Sighing, Bobby looked at the ground. "I know you will, boy. And I will too, but we can't overlook the fact that he could still change. All I'm saying is be careful." Dean nodded, letting Bobby know he was listening and he would be careful if that's what Bobby wanted him to do. "All right. Well, I'm beat, so I'm going to head back to my room. I'll be back over tomorrow sometime. And if you get Sam to come out of that bathroom, make sure you boys eat something."

Again, Dean nodded, and Bobby walked out of the motel room without a second glance. Shaking his head, Dean walked back over to the bathroom door. "Sam, come on, get out of there. I'm hungry and I'm not leaving this room without you. Sam!" With a sigh, Dean slid down the door and sat on the cold, hard floor. "I'm not moving from this spot until you come out. And you have to come out sometime. You can't stay in there forever."

After two hours had passed, the door opened, causing a sleeping Dean to fall into the bathroom. Jerking awake, Dean looked up at Sam. "Finally decide to come out, did you?" he asked, smirking up at his brother. Sam didn't answer, just stared down at Dean, frowning. Dean matched his frown as he reached up to Sam. "Help me up, Sasquatch."

Sam grabbed a hold of Dean's hand and hoisted him to his feet. He then pushed past Dean and sat on his bed, his arms crossed over his chest. Dean smiled at him as he watched him squirm around on the bed, noticing that he looked just like he did when he was a kid and he didn't get his way. Kneeling down in front of Sam, he frowned, realizing something. "Hey, you were in there a really long time. I thought you couldn't be away from me for that long without pain."

Sam's gaze ticked down to Dean for a second before returning to the opposite wall. "It did hurt," he explained. "But you were right outside the door, so all I had to do was lean against it and it dulled the pain a little. But I had to come out because it wasn't enough anymore."

Dean nodded, understanding that Sam needed to be close, needed to be touching sometimes in order to stay sane. However, Bobby's words rang through his head. Sam wasn't going to rape him though. One, he couldn't because Dean could kick his ass. Two, he wouldn't because he loved Dean. But, wasn't that why this whole thing was happening in the first place? Because Sam loved Dean? Slowly, Dean placed his hand on Sam's arm, knowing that it would help Sam from going off the deep end.

However, Sam pushed Dean's hand away and stood up. "Stop it, Dean. I don't want you to help me anymore." He walked over to the table and leaned on one of the chairs, his nails digging into the hard wood of the chair. "You should just leave. Just stay away from me and then we won't have to worry about me trying to--" Sam was stopped short when Dean pushed him into the wall that he had been staring at a few moments ago. "Dean, what are you doing?"

"Shut up, Sam," Dean ordered. "You're not going to hurt me. Because you can't. You don't have it in you, and you can't make me do anything that I don't want to. You know that. I'd kick your ass." Letting Sam go, he shook his head, looking at the ground. "Now, all we have to do is keep you from going off the deep end."

"How?" Sam asked, biting his bottom lip as he stared at Dean with teary eyes. "How are we supposed to do that when I feel like this?"

Dean's gaze snapped back up to Sam. "Feel like what, Sammy?" When Sam just looked away from him, Dean grabbed him again, shoving him into the wall, hard enough to let him know that he meant business, but not enough to hurt Sam. "What do you feel like doing, Sam?"

Sam looked up at Dean again, shocked that he would push him into the wall. A tear slipped from his eye as he said, "I love you, Dean."

Dean rolled his eyes, letting Sam go again. "I know you love me, Sam. I love you, too."

"No!" Sam yelled, grabbing Dean's shirt and flinging him around, changing their positions so that Dean was against the wall. "That's not what I mean, Dean. I love you. Like, really love you. I can't stop thinking about you! I have dreams about being with you! Dean, I'm fucked up!" When Dean tried to push Sam off of him, Sam pulled him away from the wall then slammed him back into it. "Stop! You're stronger than this! Stop being gentle with me. It's going to get you hurt!" Dropping his head and closing his eyes, Sam breathed,, "I need--"

When Sam didn't finish his sentence, Dean rolled his eyes once again, resting his head on the wall behind him. "What do you need, Sam?" He sighed when Sam didn't answer, instead pushing away from him and going back to the chair he had been leaning on earlier. Dean took a few steps away from the wall, but kept his distance from Sam. "What do you need?"

Looking at Dean, tears streaming down his cheeks, Sam finally answered. "You." Shaking his head and looking at the ground again, Sam repeated, "I need you."