Dan's POV

"Stay with me." She whispers desperately against his ear, pulling him closer.

She needed him to stay with her, not slip into that place in his mind that made this wrong. That made her the whore. That made him the trick. She needed him to know this was not the same as she gripped his hair through the latex and whined.

Sucking air and blood through her teeth; he's thrusting with strained and wounded grunts. Her body arching up into him, his tongue lapping at the rising veins in her throat.

The gasps break free to words again as he pulls her closer, pushing in harder.

"Please, Walter, stay with me."

xxx

This was not about being gentle. This was not adrenalin induced lust. This was reclaiming what they had lost. Had been losing.

It's a mad scramble as his teeth draw shivers. Her lips elicit half-sure growls and leave trails of blood. Her fingers find belts and buttons, his find flesh and bones. No time to play. No time to relax.

She could feel him trying. God, he was trying so hard not to break, as his fingers slid inside, took a breast, he was trying so hard not to be repulsed. To give her the same chance she had given him, back when she had still been a man. A man in love with another man. An impossible man. A man who believed every part of himself was repulsive and wrong, just like she did now.

But before either of them could process what this was going to mean, what this was going to do, before he could stop hands pulling open his trench coat, before she could stop him pulling apart the fly of his pants, before either of them could filter out the insanity, he had pushed his way inside.

xxx

"It's me, Ror-ahhh—it's Daniel." She chokes at him as his nails dig into her thighs, hard enough to bruise.

The thin line of lips that had been his controlled emotions was now a savage snarl under the curl of the mask. His eyes buried into her collarbone, he would not—could not look at her, his harsh growls hissed through her ears like razors. She was losing him. She could feel it.

With every moan he drew from her shaking breast, his muscles tightened; span in and out with disgust, hurt and an overwhelming primal need to keep inside.

"It's Daniel." She whimpers through the blood in her mouth, thumbing his lips, trying to wipe away the hurt. Trying to clean out the damage that ran so deep.

"Please."

And if she hadn't already been crying, the tears would have stained her face a thousand-fold.

"Please."

xxx

"Jesus—Mary mother of—Fuck!"

["It's a strange thing, to lose your virginity twice, as both a man and a woman. Men get it easy in comparison."]

A groan guttural and low found its way out of his throat, strong enough to make the floor shake. His face pressed against skin. She held back the shudder, beginning at her toes, working its way up her thighs, and into her spine. Her body reacting to the invasion against her will as she hissed through bleeding teeth, whining something pained but needy.

There was no rhythm, or pattern that followed. No satisfying thrusts in and out. Nothing like before. Instead, he pulled her closer, pushing himself higher, deeper, farther. His breath hitching as her fingers groped desperately at the material of his suit jacket. Little yelps escaping her lips every time he pulled her hips against his own.

xxx

"Daniel..." And its barely there, a broken plead in the dark.

But she hears it. Pulling him closer. Pulling him into her with all the strength she has left. Ribs aching against his rigid chest as he heaves. She knew better than to assume he was crying.

"I'm here." She breathes back, "I'm here."

xxx

It was slow and it was agonising, and it was on purpose. It was claiming every inch. It was feelingevery inch. Soon he was so deep it ached. Tilting her hips, he felt her whole body rock under his grasp.

Strained breaths rang in the silence, magnified in emptiness around them, and just when she thought he'd gotten himself in far enough, far enough in to pull out again and start doing this right, he pulled her legs tight under the lips of his trench and went deeper. So deep it felt like he was going to tear her apart if he didn't stop. So deep it felt like he was in up to her chest.

Cries escaped her lips as she pulled at his arms, she wanted him out, and she wanted him to stop. She didn't want any such thing at all. Her body twitched and shook under the pressure. His teeth found her lips, and she screams so raw it tears her throat. Her fingers so tight against the swirling ink there was a good chance the material would burst.

xxx

"Please, stay with me."

xxx

Whatever it was he felt after that; her muscles contracting and vibrating around him, her breath failing to restart, her legs shaking over his hips, something inside complaining, her cervix she thinks. It made him stop, pull away a little. Even if it was just to look at her in a mix of wonder and horror, as her fingers shook violently about his ears and she let out a sob. A single sob.

The blood dripping over her cheeks and onto the floor as she ground her teeth.

He watched every little reaction, and felt others around him. Then as the shiver worked its way through the rest of her bones he lowered himself over her. His coat pulled under her shoulders, as though the shiver was from being cold. It was so painfully sweet it made her whimper as he brushed his nose against her like a nuzzling dog.

xxx

"Daniel..." He chokes out.

Filling her to the brim. With everything. With himself. Everything he felt. And everything he could never admit to feeling. Making her scream and tear at his shoulders as she rode out the sting, his fingers tracing her cheeks like a blind man, his breath hitching at her lips as her teeth tore them open.

"Daniel."

So much held tight in that one little word. All the hurt, all the thanks and all the need one can show in a simple utterance of a name. And it's not perfect. It doesn't make anything better. But it's there. And it's him seeing past the nightmare. It's there.

No. It's not perfect, but nothing ever is.