The whole way home, Justin was thinking. The recovered memory had raised a million questions. In his memory, he'd been the one doing the fucking. But with Brian, since the 'incident' at least, he was always the one being fucked. Had it always been that way or had he sometimes fucked Brian? Was he always the one doing the fucking when he was with other men? How many other men had he been with? Had he often had sex with people in 'inappropriate places' (as his mother would term them), e.g., alleys? The recovered memory seemed so out of place. A piece that didn't quite fit with who he was now, with who he had been before he met Brian. Justin had been so nervous about sucking Brian's dick in the elevator. So much so that he couldn't do it. In fact, he was still very nervous when Brian ended up sucking him off. And he'd been mortified when his mother caught them. How could he have become so casual about sex, so casual that he would fuck someone in an alley, and with other people watching, without feeling so much as a smidgen of embarrassment? Justin shuddered. He wished he could just forget last year completely (well, except the prom). He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to know what had caused him to change so much in such a short time. It had to be bad. Very bad.

Brian was freaking out (though perhaps only Justin would have noticed, if he hadn't been so lost in thought) by the time they walked into the loft. Justin had been silent for far too long. And they hadn't touched since climbing into the jeep. That alone was very strange. Whenever they were together for more than five minutes, they ended up holding hands, kissing, fucking, sitting together (Justin on Brian's lap or between his legs, leaning up against him), etc. Something was definitely amiss (especially since eight times out of ten, Justin was the one initiating such contact). The last thing Brian wanted to do was to talk about the context of the memory or about last year at all. But that was probably exactly what Justin wanted to do. Instead, he took his time opening the refrigerator and grabbing a bottle of water.

He had just uncapped it and started to take a swig when Justin inquired bluntly, "Did I ever fuck you?"

Brian nearly choked on the water. Then he sputtered, "What?"

Justin repeated, "Last year, did I ever fuck you?"

Despite his initial shock, Brian recovered quickly. He stated softly, "I thought we weren't going to talk about our relationship or whatever the fuck before…just before?"

Justin frowned a little and looked down. "Yeah. Never mind."

Brian turned away for a moment, under the auspices of putting the unfinished bottle of water back into the refrigerator. Still turned away, he replied, "Once."

Now it was Justin's turn to sputter, "What?" He had assumed that the answer must be no (if Brian was so uncomfortable, reticent to respond to his question).

"I let you fuck me once last year. It was on your 18th birthday. I asked you what you wanted, and you said, 'You.' So I let you have me."

Justin was suddenly having difficulty breathing, and he felt flushed. "Was…I mean…did you enjoy it?"

Brian answered simply, evasively, "I like sex."

Justin laughed. "You sound like that guy from Idiocracy. 'I like money.'" After a moment's hesitation, Justin said, "But I mean, some sex is better, right?"

Brian swung around so that he was facing Justin. In a very sexy drawl (Justin thought), he replied, "You have a nice cock, Kitten."

Despite how sexy Brian's voice was, even sexier when it was discussing Justin's cock and calling him Kitten, Justin was quickly becoming frustrated. Why couldn't Brian just answer yes or no?

After a couple minutes of silence, wherein Justin racked his brain trying to come up with the words that would spur Brian to tell him what he wanted to know, unexpectedly (on both their parts), Justin approached Brian, who had turned around again, this time pretending to glance through the mail. Justin walked up behind him, slipped his arms around Brian's waist, and then unfastened his jeans. Brian said nothing. Justin took this as a sign to continue, so he pulled Brian's pants down...then his underwear…and finally kneeled behind him. He cupped Brian's ass cheeks, just touching, but then he spread them and licked at Brian's hole. Brian stiffened, but made no moved to stop Justin. Justin swirled his tongue around Brian's hole and then poked it gently with the tip. Then, after some serious hesitation, he pushed it inside. Brian drew his breath in sharply. Justin fucked Brian with his tongue for a minute or so, but then pulled out and resumed swirling and poking. Justin didn't think he'd ever been so hard in his life (not that he could remember anyway). He stood and started taking his clothes off. Meanwhile, Brian finished removing his pants and then took off his shirt. Justin took this as a sign that he should press on. So he grabbed a condom from a kitchen drawer as well as a tube of lube. He then pushed Brian to his hands and knees. Brian didn't protest. Before he knew it, he was sheathed and lubed and the tip of his cock was pressed against Brian's entrance. Brian was still mute. So Justin started pushing the tip inside.

Justin had no idea what had come over him. He'd simply had an impulse that he couldn't stop himself from carrying through, though he was scared to death. But now, when he'd pushed about an inch of his cock inside Brian, he had second thoughts. He pulled out and sat back, him on his ass, his legs stretched out to the side.

Brian moved to his knees and then turned around. "Why did you stop?"

Justin shrugged.

Brian just stared at Justin blankly.

Finally, Justin cracked. He confessed glumly, "I don't want you to be okay with my fucking you. I want you to want me to fuck you. But at least this answers my question."

Brian narrowed his eyes. "Question?"

"You probably didn't enjoy my birthday fuck, and, if you did, you'd probably never tell me."

Justin had him there. That was his impulse now, and that had been his impulse in every situation before the prom. Evade and deny. But seeing Justin so desolate now and remembering how upset Justin had been when he learned that they hadn't been monogamous, Brian couldn't just shrug and walk away. Not this time. Instead, his tongue firmly planted in his cheek, he advised, "Waste not, want not." Then he straddled Justin and started pushing Justin's still erect cock inside him, inch by inch.

Justin's eyes widened. Brian was soo fucking tight, like a vice. Justin was suddenly afraid that he might shoot his load after about a minute. Especially with the way Brian was looking at him. All amusement had disappeared from his expression. Now Brian's face was…Justin wasn't sure how to describe it. It wasn't cold and closed, but serious, determined, and something else, something soft and warm. When Brian was impaled halfway, he stopped and closed his eyes. His breathing was shallow.

Justin leaned in and kissed Brian; at first, it was just a gentle press of their lips, but then, Brian opened his mouth. Justin thrust his tongue inside, kissing Brian slow and deep. He threaded his fingers into Brian's hair and pulled the man closer, kissed him deeper. Brian moaned low in his throat and started pushing himself down further onto Justin's cock. Brian shoved the last inch in hard. Justin broke away and shouted, "Oh fuck!" Brian smiled.

Brian didn't move, not right away. Instead he started talking. It took everything in him not to look away, to form the words. "The night of your birthday was…(in a softer voice, an awed whisper) amazing." Justin swallowed hard. Brian continued, his voice rising a bit, but not much, just a shade above a whisper, "I'd only ever let one other person fuck me and only once. So…mercifully, you were…careful (Brian closed his eyes now)…gentle. (opening his eyes again…in an amused, proud voice) But…you'd learned well. You managed to fuck me for a solid thirty minutes, bringing us both to the edge and then backing off several times. Finally, you couldn't hold back anymore and you fucked me hard and fast, your body shaking so much I could feel it, though I was on my hands and knees. You only needed to stroke me twice before I was shooting buckets. I didn't think I'd ever be able to get you to stop grinning at me complacently. For days after that, whenever you smiled, you gloated."

Justin's eyes were wide, and his smile, bright. But when Brian started riding Justin's dick, he closed his eyes, grabbed Brian's hips, hard, and moaned, "Ohhhh…fuck!"

Out of the blue, Justin pushed Brian onto his back and lifted Brian's legs to his shoulders. Brian's eyes widened, but then, he smiled. Justin leaned in for a passionate kiss as he thrust inside Brian. Brian was soon sweaty and flushed and beautiful (so Justin thought). Justin continued to do that as long as he could hold out, kissing Brian (he couldn't get enough of the man's lips) as he fucked him, and, then, right before he came, he reared up, his eyes wide, and said, in a husky whisper, "I love you." Then his vision exploded into a thousand points of bright rainbow-colored light. He nearly blacked out. But then (the condom tossed) he was in Brian's arms, still on the floor, all sticky with Brian's cum, sweaty, and sated, and he couldn't help but think that somehow all this seemed familiar.

Before Justin drifted off, he heard Brian whisper, "I love you, too, Kitten."