There Must Be More to Life Than This

By Rhinoa Lunar

I have to say I do not own Inuyasha or any of the pre-chapter song lyrics…I'd be FAR away from Florida if I did.

"telepathic speaking"

'thoughts'

'written in a book or elsewhere as it is read'

Dream

Well, I'm back with a vengeance. Ok, not really…But I am back. I know I will get slammed with questions and probable flames for this chapter…You'll see why when you read it. Just keep in mind my full summary and who the main pairing actually is. As long as you have Rinji and Sesshomeru together in your mind as the destined couple, this will all be much easier. So far this was the most difficult chapter to write due to content. Grab some tissues and cookie dough…Trust me you'll need them. Be sure to read my A/N at the end for more detail on the chapter's content matter and all that. Please don't flame me…Constructive criticism is welcome though. ^_^

"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. I find it hard to tell you. I find it hard to take. When people run in circles it's a very, very mad world." Mad World by Gary Jules

Revelations and Sorrowful Songs

Kagome stood in total shock. Rinji knew all of her secrets. There was nothing she didn't know. She couldn't even hide her love for Inuyasha from this girl. The mere thought of the hanyo brought a blush to Kagome's cheeks.

"I know your heart, Kagome. I know your heart and how to bring you back together."

"How? How is that even possible, Rinji?"

"It was possible once through the well…I can open the gate again, but I will need your full co-operation and trust. To be perfectly honest it took a big leap of faith on my part to reveal my visions, powers, and goal to you. I hope you can see that." Rinji looked at Kagome with pure sincerity. 'I…I really do. Why do I trust this girl? Who IS she to me?'

"Well…" Kagome stuttered. "Why don't you come by and we can find a safer place to talk."

Rinji nodded and in an oddly comfortable silence the girls made their journey to the shrine. Their high school was a train stop away from the main street closest to the shrine so they opted for the public transport. Much in their favor, it was not quite rush hour and there were actually seats available on the train car of the usually overcrowded railway. The shrine was only a fifteen minute walk from their stop. Without hesitation the girls began the walk toward the well house. This was going to be a long conversation and neither girl really knew exactly how to begin.

Jakken was feeding AhUn. He had grown so used to Rin performing the chores required to care for the two-headed dragon and was not exactly pleased to be doing them while she wandered off with Sesshomeru-sama. The girl had been going on about something to show the yokai and Sesshomeru had yielded as he often did when it came to Rin. 'Why does he humor that human child so?' Jakken shook his head in confusion and continued the boring task of tending to his charge.

Inuyasha could not stop thinking about the possibility of the Black Tetsuaiga. It brought him to Kagome once…Why wouldn't it do it again, after all? Still it was true he needed Totousai's help though he hated to admit it. He also knew that even if Kagome had died in the jewel there was no way she'd been sent to hell. Since the main ability of the Black Tetsuaiga was to send his enemies to hell, it would not bode well for him to use it without first finding out how it had brought him to Kagome in the first place.

Inuyasha was once more seated in the branches of the Goshinboku and thinking about HIS Kagome. Worse than the hanyo's distraction, tonight was the night of the new moon. With Kagome consuming his mind and his refusal to stay in the village, Inuyasha would be easy prey to any yokai who so desired to take advantage of the situation. No…For Inuyasha the Goshinboku was the only bed for him and nothing would allow the memory of HIS Kagome's lips pressed against his own.

Kouga was still finding it nearly impossible to continue on as though nothing were wrong. He refused to believe that Kagome was truly gone for good. He dispatched several wolf scouts in the four cardinal directions in the hopes that there would be news of a sighting somewhere. He knew the Western Kingdom was once more in the hands of the inu yokai. The mutt's damned brother was Lord of the Western Lands as their father's successor. For being the mutt he was, Inuyasha's lineage was nothing to be laughed at. To think his competition was the hanyo son of the famous Inutaisho. The elder son, Sesshomeru, was a full-blooded yokai who would understand the scouts were of no threat.

Eagerly Kouga awaited news that HIS woman had been found and was being brought home to him…And every day Kouga was disappointed. Ginta and Hakkaku were growing more nervous by the day. Kouga was slowly turning into a mere shell of the yokai he had once been. Their sister could not come home soon enough.

Sesshomeru and Rin had wandered deep into the woods. Rin was gathering flowers of all kinds that only grew in certain areas and close to specific trees. She was quite proudly teaching Sesshomeru about them. Each one was handed to him with a grin stretching from ear to ear on her tiny face. Sesshomeru was amused by the child's constant displays of allegiance. 'If she were older, I'd swear she was displaying love for me,' he mused.

"Sesshomeru-sama, I found a REALLY pretty one! It has the same red that I love on your kimono!"

"Very well then, Rin. Bring that one to me as well." Sesshomeru smiled a true smile of happiness. It was the kind of smile he would not allow even Rin to see. 'I am happy the child sees me as a father. She seems a good daughter, for a human at least.'

Sesshomeru's thoughts were interrupted by a scream that made his blood boil. He'd know that scream anywhere. "Rin!" There was panic in the usually stoic yokai. He could smell no other yokai, nor hanyo. There were no traces of wolves, bears, or even wild boars. Then the scent of poison hit his nose…Poison and reptile blood. Before he had even finished calling out Rin's name, the offending snake was in pieces and the child was in his arms. In her hands Rin was clinging to that red flower she had been so determined to give her adoptive father.

In a panic, Sesshomeru rose into the sky and flew straight to Edo. 'The old miko, Kaede I believe is her name. She should know what to do.' The truth was that HIS little girl had been poisoned and Sesshomeru was used to being the cause of a poisoning rather than the cure. Telling the imp where he was going never even crossed the yokai's mind. All that mattered was Rin.

"This well, Kagome…This well can be re-opened in a more permanent manner. It can only be used by people who's possessions are used in the ritual and their descendents."

"What do I need to do," Kagome asked suspiciously.

"Don't worry. I don't need you to do anything wrong. It is just that a true miko such as yourself is needed to perform many of the tasks." Rinji paused and smiled slightly as the relief came in a wave over Kagome's face. The entire process will take us about a two-and-a-half years…And that's only if we start tonight."

"Tonight…" Kagome sighed. She knew what tonight was. She had grown so accustomed to paying attention to the cycles of the moon in all of her wanderings throughout the Sengoku Otogizoshi. 'I wonder if Inuyasha is at least trying to stay safe tonight. He doesn't have to worry about protecting me anymore…But he's so stubborn and too damned proud of himself.'

"Do not worry about the hanyo. If you want to see him again this process must come above everything else in your life. Friends, family, school…All of these things must remain in the back of your mind. You must focus your entire life on returning. To keep up appearances I'll give you answers to tests at school."

"You mean you've been cheating this whole time!"

"I can't help but foresee the answers through sensei's mind. If I'm not consciously doing it, then how can it be called cheating? Now, you've been behind for some time so I'll need you to purposely post wrong answers for a while until we can make it realistic that you have caught up. Can you do that?"

Kagome nodded.

"I need you to do a few things for me. Take this money and buy three clay pots. It is very important that they are real clay, miko. Then I need the following seeds planted in organic potting soil…Sage, lavender, and belladonna. You must pour the seeds between the moment the sun is half way down the horizon and the moment it disappears. The handling and care of the herbs and plants can only be done by a true miko such as yourself."

"I can do that."

"Kagome, I am counting on you. I have to be honest here. I don't have much respect for humans in general, but I have respect for you to a degree. Do not disappoint me."

"Why do you respect me?"

"You do not run from your gifts. While my gifts are nothing like yours, they are still very real and strong. Most humans run from their gifts or worse, are disgusted by them. I need you to continue to increase your powers and your control over them. I will be doing the same. You should get going. Sunset is in just over two hours." Rinji stood to leave.

"Thank you, Rinji." Kagome smiled warmly at her newfound friend.

"For what?" Rinji's face and voice remained as calm and emotionless as Sesshomeru's could.

"For trusting me…I won't let you down."

"Hnn…" Rinji headed home with a delicate turn. Her mind reeling with how much she had revealed to the miko. It still puzzled her to no end why she felt so close to the girl. 'The next time I call upon my Sesshomeru-sama I shall have to ask him if he would know a reason.'

Kaede was gathering some herbs to relieve Sango's morning sickness which had become somewhat problematic when Sesshoumeru landed carrying Rin. Rin was wincing in pain and babbling incoherently. Only one word the child said was clear, "Sesshoumeru-sama."

"Come, bring the child to my hut immediately. I must know what has happened in order to heal her properly," the old miko said. She walked as fast as her withered old legs would allow her to her hut and pulled out her mat and pillow for Rin.

Sesshoumeru laid Rin down though he kept his hand on hers. She had begun to grow still and her breathing was labored. Even Sesshoumeru's hard exterior was openly displaying concern for the girl. He knew his eyes were revealing his concern, but this did not matter to him. At this time, this moment, Rin was the only thing that mattered. "What must be done, miko?" He did not like the look on Kaede's face.

"Was this from eating strange fruits or an animal?"

"A snake."

"Oh dear," Kaede said as her eyes became downcast. "Sesshoumeru…sama,"the miko added the title feeling strange about it. "I can ease her pain and help her to be more comfortable…Perhaps even sleep…"

The look on Sesshoumeru's face grew dark and bordered on threatening. 'This baba is not going to save my daughter!' Rage was building up within him and nothing seemed worse than the pain he felt.

Sensing the danger she was now in Kaede spoke up. "Her only hopes are Kagome returning with her strange medicines or Myoga arriving within an hour at most."

"Where can I find this Kagome? She is Inuyasha's woman, correct? I know that she has returned home to a strange land but if she can help Rin…"

"It would seem that Kagome cannot return. The connection between our world and her own was sealed when she wished the Skikon no Tama out of existance."

"And Inuyasha's sniveling vassel is rarely by his side. Do for Rin what you can, miko…But know this…I will not leave her side, so your every move is being watched."

Kaede nodded as she stood and stepped outside to gather the necessary herbs. The child would need to keep her strength long enough to drink the tea she would brew in order for her to feel any relief.

Shippo was playing with some of the village children when he saw Sesshoumeru arrive with Rin. He had always been a little frightened by Inuyasha's older brother so when Kaede emerged alone from her hut the kit ran to her side. "What's going on, Kaede? Why is Sesshoumeru here?"

Kaede knew the kitsune deeply cared for Rin and was sad to deliver such news as she had. She took in a deep breath and sighed. "Shippo…Rin is very ill."

"So you're making her some good medicine. Can I help?"

The young yokai was so innocent. Sure he had seen terrible things in his lifetime thus far…He should have never been involved in the battles against Naraku. "Shippo, we are going to help Rin feel better but we can do no more than that."

"What's wrong with Rin?"

"Rin was poisoned by a snake, child. Unless Myoga arrives shortly…We know how unlikely that is since he is so unreliable…"

"What will happen to Rin if he doesn't come?"

Kaede turned her eyes from Shippo. She did not want to see his face when he heard the news. "Young Rin will die, child."

Shippo's face contorted into agony. 'I don't care what Inuyasha says about men not showing their tears to anybody!' His tiny face filled with droplets of salty liquid. "I'm going to help, Kaede. Kohaku's here. I can take him to Jinenji. He can make all kinds of medicines. He likes Kagome. He won't let us down."

"Can you get him here within an hour with the antidote in hand?" Kaede looked hopeful.

Shippo shook his head in defeat. Jinenji was at least two days away even with Kirara.

"Then help me make her suffering calm down so she feels no pain. For now that is all we can do."

Neither noticed Sango and Miroku standing by. They decided to gather their thoughts and pay Rin a visit. Miroku wanted to pray for the girl's health. Sango wanted to be there for the little one she was now helping raise.

It was not dark quite yet when Inuyasha had smelled the poison pass overhead. 'That scent mixed with the poison…That's Sesshoumeru. This can't be good whatever it is.'

Inuyasha made it to Kaede's hut in record time. As he entered his human transition completed itself alongside the setting sun. His brother turned to him in mild disgust but made no hostile move. He simply sat there holding the hand of Rin's shivering form. She had two blankets over top her and was still losing body heat. Sesshoumeru wrapped his tail around Rin protectively.

Inuyasha couldn't believe his eyes. 'I knew Rin was special to Sesshoumeru for some reason…But he almost looks ready to cry. Whatever's wrong with her must be real bad.'

"You may sit with my daughter and I if you like, little brother." Sesshoumeru spoke those last words without the usual contempt. They were simply words in his common numb and emotionless tone.

'Daughter,' Inuyasha thought as he sat opposite Sesshoumeru by Rin's side. As vulnerable as his brother was right now Inuyasha still did not trust him enough to sit beside him.

Sesshoumeru straightened himself out a bit. "Do you know why father gave you the Tetsuaiga?"

"I never really gave it much thought. We both know if its not close to me I can't control his yokai blood."

"He could have made either fang do that."

"I guess you're right. You did get to grow up with the old man. I never knew him."

"Hnnn…" Sesshoumeru looked down at his little Rin. "Father once asked me if I had anything to protect. It was the night of your birth, actually. I told him I had nothing and no one worth protecting other than myself. That is why he left me the Tenseiga and not the Tetsuaiga."

Inuyasha nodded but remained unusually silent. He and his brother had never had a calm discussion like this, and learning about his father was something Inuyasha had always wanted to do. His mother had always been too sad to speak about him for too long.

"I guess that's why the Batsugai only appeared and regenerated my arm when I was trying to save Rin's life."

"Why don't you use the Tenseiga on her?"

"Because that only works once for a soul, Inuyasha. My mother taught me that the hard way. She tricked me into killing Rin while I tried to master Tenseiga's power. No matter how hard I tried, I could not bring her back. My mother restored Rin's life that day, but told me she would never do such a thing again. She said I was too much like father."

"Your mother is still alive? I thought yokai and hanyo alike mate for life?"

"We do…But my mother does not bear father's mark. She was by no means his mate. He had planned on marking your mother…But then he died saving both of you. I went to your mother after father's death. I had every desire to kill her. But I knew I would be betraying father in doing so. She gave me the Tenseiga with her own hands and told me how father had passed. She assured me that she had loved father with all her heart. She said his last words were about you, actually. He named you and your inheritance, then he told her to keep you safe always."

Inuyasha was stunned. He could see the sadness in Sesshoumeru's eyes. 'Maybe that's why he's hated me all these years. Father chose my mother over his and then died leaving him alone. Hell, I'd be pissed too.'

Kaede and Shippo returned with the herbs and some fresh water. Both had more than a little surprise in their eyes as they saw the two brothers sitting civilly opposite each other. Silently Kaede set to work preparing the tea. Shippo ran to Rin's side and sat himself on Inuyasha'a lap. The hanyo was calm enough to accept the kit's seat of choice. Shippo laid down a bouquet of the prettiest flowers he had found nest to Rin. He noticed she held a single red flower in her hand that she was struggling to maintain a decent grip on. He could tell by her face that she was in a lot of pain. No one in the hut wanted to say it, or even think it for that matter, but the critical hour had passed.

Miroku, Sango, and Kohaku entered silently next shooting each other looks of surprise. They too could not see why the two brothers, especially on the night of the new moon, would get along so well. They all took seats by Inuyasha facing Sesshoumeru.

It was not long before the tea was done brewing. Sesshoumeru insisted on being the one to administer the medicine. Gently he lifted Rin to a sitting position allowing her to lean on his arm for balance. He wrapped his tail even tighter around her both for additional support and as a fatherly hug. He brought the cup to Rin's lips and turned his head away as she winced in pain from the mere act of swallowing the liquid. When his daughter tightened her hand's grip on his own he returned his eyes to meet hers. Her innocent eyes were pleading with him as the tea made her start to convulse once more. For the second time in his life, Sesshoumeru felt helpless. He did not like this feeling…Not at all. 'Is this how Inuyasha feels about losing his woman? Is this how father felt when he said his last goodbyes to Inuyasha and Izaiyo?'

It seemed only Inuyasha was noticing the internal struggle his brother had raging inside of him. He had gone through his own similar emotional trials of hating his heart, hating his human side and its' emotions. Kikyo had broken that shell, but it was Kagome who had helped him accept and even embrace that side of himself. It would seem that Rin had opened up the kinder, emotional side of Sesshoumeru.

It took a few minutes, but Rin eventually stopped convulsing and looked up at Sesshoumeru. She handed him the red flower with as much of a smile as she could muster. "This was so pretty, Sesshoumeru-sama. It has the red of your kimono on it." The last word caught in Rin's throat and she coughed slightly letting blood slip from her tiny mouth onto Sesshoumeru's tail.

When Kaede saw the blood she knew Rin's time was short. At least the poor child could no longer feel the pain from the venom. "I think it best if we gave Rin some time alone with her…" She paused unsure of what the odd relationship really was.

"Father," Sesshoumeru growled at Kaede. 'How dare she questioon my role in Rin's life.'

One-by-one Inuyasha and his friends said their tear-filled goodbyes and exited the hut. Shippo was last and handed Rin the bouquet he had laid by her side since she seemed able to hold it for now. "Rin…" Shippo said trying to hide his tears. "Rin, I love you."

Sesshoumeru nodded in approval to the kitsune. Shippo silently mouthed "Arrigato" to the inu yokai and left the hut grateful for the smile Rin gave him. 'She must love me back!'

Sesshoumeru lifted Rin to his lap once they were aloneand held her close to his chest. He kept his tail around his daughter. He suddenly felt something strange in his eyes. It was like rainwater cascading from his hair. Rin was growing colder to the touch. She clutched him closer. Her hands pulling at his kimono. Blood was trickling down from her lips in a steady stream now.

"Sesshoumeru-sama…I…I love you." The child's voice was raspy and it was obviously painful for her to speak.

Sesshoumeru didn't know what to say or do. He felt a drop of the liquid escape his right eye. "I…I lo…" He had never said these words to anyone before. Not even his parents. Yet looking down to Rin he saw the joy that those first syllables brought to her face and decided to say what he knew to be true. "I love you too, Rin. You are my daughter in all but blood. I will never forget that." He saw Rin's eyes fill with liquid and he finally realized what had happened to his own eyes. 'I…I am crying?' "Rin, I promise I will never forget you."

"I was going to marry you when I grew up, Sesshoumeru-sama."

'I will not bring her sadness. Not now. She can never know I would not marry her.' "Of course, my Rin."

"I wish I could have been a good wife for you."

"You would have been the best." Sesshoumeru allowed himself to slightly grin as Rin smiled at him. But his grin was short-lived. Rin's final smile faded as she shook violently one last time and her limp hand fell from Sesshoumeru's chest. It was the very moment that Rin's hand fell Sesshoumeru let out a feral yell the likes of which no one had ever heard before.

Everyone standing outside the hut knew that Rin had just left this world. Miroku made a prayer for both the small child and Sesshoumeru. As a monk it was not exactly commonplace to pray for the well-being of a yokai, but Sesshoumeru was as fragile as any human father right now and deserved nothing less. Not a single eye was dry…Not even Inuyasha's. For once, everyone was glad that Kagome wasn't there…Including Inuyasha.

Kaede spent the night in Sango and Miroku's hut with a sobbing Shippo in her arms. Inuyasha slept under the stars. For once in his life, he felt sorry for his brother. He vowed to himself that the next time that cowardly Myoga decided to come by, he would banish him from the Western Kingdom. If he didn't Sesshoumeru was likely to kill him on sight.

A/N : I did cry when writing Rin's death…But a reincarnation does require a death. I also needed something to bring out Sesshoumeru's more emotional side. Sorry, but he had to be broken before he would ever accept Rinji completely. Rest assured that Rin will have an appropriate funeral and burial befitting the daughter of the taisho of the Western Kingdom. Thie story is placed as a romance and it is under Sesshoumeru and Rin, but in my summery I did say it was a Rinji and Sesshoumeru pairing. I placed it under Rin and Sesshoumeru because the remainder of the story will be quite reflective on the relationship and there will be flashbacks showing the process in Sesshoumeru's mind. Rinji is (as you will be seeing shortly) a clear combination of Rin and Sesshoumeru. For Rinji, it is Kagome who brings out her happier side. Reviews are welcome but please no flames.