Seymour's Bright Idea

By Nardo T. Icarus

Disclaimer: Nardo Owns Nothing.

Taking Wakka's advice from the previous chapter, Seymour went to Mushroom Rock to scout for scenes for his new music video. It was there that he spotted Auron, which reminded him of something Wakka had told him earlier. It came back to him as, "go shoot your music video with Auron, ya? Then you'll win a Wii!"

"I always wanted a Wii," Seymour said out loud.

"And I want idiots like you to stay dead, instead of coming back, like, 600 times," answered Auron, who's good mood was shattered by Seymour's high-pitched, screeching, irritating voi- presence!

"Yo, bro, you wanna shoot a music video with me," asked Seymour.

"I'd rather die…and I'm already dead," was Auron's answer.

"Didn't you get brung back from the dead a few years ago," asked Seymour.

"Look, if you're gonna play games of twenty questions, at least have the common decency to learn proper English," ordered Auron, pointing his sword at Seymour.

"Or else what," asked Seymour.

"OR ELSE I WILL JAB MY SWORD SO FAR UP YOUR-"

***A COUPLE OF MINUTES LATER***

"…NOT EVEN YOUR MOTHER WILL BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOU THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN," threatened Auron.

Seymour corrected Auron, "but…my mother's-"

"I am well aware of that," answered Auron, "I'm reffering to Anime Anima, the Aeon best suited for kicking your butt from one end of Spira to the other back and forth 99,999 times in the Japanese and North American versions and 1,599,984 times in the International and PAL region versions."

"Haha, you said 'region'," said Seymour.

"One more comment like that…everything you own…and everything you love…will belong to me…OR BE CUT OFF," threatened Auron.

Seymour tried to change the subject, "SQUDALA!"

"WILL YOU SHUT THE F*** UP," Auron readied his sword and started chasing Seymour all over Mushroom Rock.

While Seymour was too distracted by his potential recording partner chasing him with murderous intent, he failed to notice the golden yellow patch of grass growing in his path. Thus, he tripped over it like some kind of klutz.

"Whoa," said Seymour in a stupid tone.

Auron saw the patch of grass and thought it was peculiar, so he took a moment from chasing Seymour (who was rendered unconscious by the collision of the rocks and his head, anyway) to examine it more closely.

"Rikku," he said in an annoyed.

Out of the ground came Rikku.

"Rikku," she yelled.

"Rikku, what have I told you about hidin' in the ground an' trippin' people outta complete random," scolded Cid who just happened to show up right then and there.

"I sorry, Daddy," Rikku said, as she slumped her head down.

"RIKKU, OUI YNA DFAHDO-DRNAA OYANC UMT! DFAHDO-V***EHK-DRNAA! CDUB DYMGEHK MEGA Y V***EHK PYPO YHT KNUF IB YMNAYTO," Cid ordered.

"E ys cunno, Vadren," said Rikku, twiddling her fingers with her knees quivering.

"Kuut," said Cid as he returned to the Fahrenheit to do routine maintenance.

"Did Cid just tell Rikku to stop acting like a f***ing baby," asked Seymour, waking up from his short rock-to-the-head stupor.

"Yes…yes he did," answered Auron.

"Well, now that that's over," said Rikku as she kicked Seymour where it counts.

"AHH! Mah jemmz," squealed Seymour in pain.

"Thank you, Rikku. Now, let's get out of here before he recovers," said Auron.

"Okay," agreed Rikku as they went as far away from Mushroom Rock (and Seymour) as possible.

When they were far away enough as to not know what happened next, in the background of Seymour clutching himself in pain came a familiar pair of shorts with a familiar emblem on them, who said in a familiar voice, "I wonder who left this garbage on the floor?"

Seymour suddenly snapped out of his painful state and got up really quickly.

*** CLIFFHANGER!!!!! ***