Seymour's Bright Idea
By Nardo T. Icarus
Disclaimer: See chapter 1 and chapter 2 and chapter 3 and chapter 4 and chapter 5 and chapter 6.
After the defeat of Penance and the rescue of Tidus, everyone went back to Besaid. What awaited them there would surely put Seymour in a six-week coma…or at least make him faint for five minutes.
"Ah! Seymour," said a familiar voice we hadn't heard outside of a flashback.
"What? Who's calling me," said Seymour.
"Seymour," said Yuna as she ran ahead of the group, "I'd like you to meet your wife."
"My who-with-the-what-now," asked the oblivious Guado.
"Seymour, I vaited so long to see you," said the voice, which apparently belonged to Sveta, as she ran out to hug Seymour.
"Oh, you. Yeah, I think Yuna mentioned you a couple of chapters ago, didn't you, Yuna," said Seymour.
"I did, actually…but that's not important right now…actually it's very important, but beside that point; yes, this is your wife who you left eight years ago. Her name is Sveta and if you are as respectable as you claim to be," said Yuna.
"Which is very, very, very, very, very respectable," added the incompetent Guado.
"You would do well to remember it," finished the former summoner.
"Yeah, well, all I know is that Seymour has some f**king weird hair, ya," said Wakka out of complete random.
"I told you, Wakka," said Seymour, "mutant, evil geese do exist! It's true! I saw them in my nightmares!"
"Are you off your meds, Daddy," said Signy. Yuna and Sveta giggled. Biran and Yenke laughed. Seymour snickered. Tidus chuckled… Wakka guffawed.
"Hey, guys, we're back from the ghetto," said Auron, as he returned with Rikku.
"Where'd you go, Auron," interrogated Tidus.
"No interrogating Auron, Tidus. Here's a milk bone," ordered Auron as he actually threw Tidus a milk bone. Tidus started acting like a goldfish.
"I guess he wants fish food," said Wakka.
"Let's give him some bacon," suggested Seymour as he quickly went to the store to buy bacon.
"We can give him this donut I found," suggested Signy as she pulled a donut out of her little pocket.
"No, that has germs on it," squealed Sveta. Auron quickly took the donut and threw it halfway to Zanarkand.
"I W A N T A M U S H R O O M," demanded Tidus. Auron proceeded to give him a Mario mushroom and he grew ninety feet taller. "I A M K I N G O F B E S A I D ! K N E E L B E F O R E M E , M O R T A L S," said Tidus.
"Call the Navy, ya," screamed Wakka as he ran into his tent and hid under his bed.
And so, after shrinking Tidus to normal size and obliterating his self-esteem into dust, everyone went home and lived happily ever after. Seymour moved in with Sveta and Signy, a decision that was largely influenced (forced) by Auron. He got used to it after a couple of weeks and, thus, even he lived happily ever after. Currently, Wakka is pretending to be a (female) fortune teller and is predicting that Signy will soon be a big sister. However, Wakka has as much foresight as a meteorologist, so the accuracy of his prediction is questionable. So long, folks. Until the next fanfic.
T H E E N D ! ! !
Note: Everything in this fanfic…was improv! Totally improv. I hope you enjoyed it.