"Demented" Easter Special

Hey, gang! I haven't uploaded in forever, so I need something to stall with. And before I go on Easter vacation to grandma's house, I leave you with an interview with Elvira, everyone's (I wish) favorite psychopath. I'll do one for Emma once I upload my Friday the 13th story. Enjoy. God, you people are needy! Just kidding, I just feel bad for reading Harry Potter instead of finishing my fifth chapter.

MT: So, Elvira, what's your favorite color?

E: What the fuck kind of question is that? I come here for an interview and you give me some "favorite color" shit. Jesus Christ! Anyway, it's dark red.

MT: Oooh, dark red, how brooding and gothic of you.

E: I'll fucking stab you! I'm not some emo little shit like you were in 6th grade.

MT: You're pushing it with the swearing. Anyway, if you woke up as a guy, what would you do?

E: Castrate myself.

MT: Fantastic. And what would you do if you were a Teletubby and Noo-Noo shit all over the carpet?

E: The vacuum thing? Shove his face in it and shout "LOOK WHAT YOU DID!"

MT: (That was for you, Mike) Want some Tubby Custard?

E: What?

MT: Nothing. So do you find Freddy sexually attractive?

E: In fact, yes. Normal looking people are boooring! Now completely burned skin, that's the way to go. And the sexy fedora!

MT: Yeah. So what do you think of rabbits?

E: Fun to step on.

MT: You sick bitch! What the hell is wrong with you?!

E: Nearly everything.

MT: I've realized that. So what's your favorite book?

E: Stories about mass murderers.

MT: That's not a book, but alright. Favorite form of torture?

E: Potato peelers. You can't imagine how easy it is to skin someone. Skin is so soft!

MT: What makes you happy?

E: That's a gay-ass question, dumb fuck. But women screaming makes me happy. It gets annoying after a while, though.

MT: Why don't you have any friends?

E: They don't stay alive long enough to be any fun. Duh!

MT: Ever gotten drunk?

E: Totally. Woke up in a shopping cart in the middle of an apartment missing my left ear.

MT: Ever had thoughts of killing Emma?

E: Yeah, once or twice, but she's fun to fuck with so she's somewhat useful.

MT: What are the top 10 things that piss you off?

E: Rainbows, horses, Tiger Woods, my mom, Nick Jonas, Joe Jonas, Kevin Jonas, hookers, lacy bras, board games, dull knives, and just about everything else.

MT: *starts singing* Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna…

E: Keep singing Rick Astley and I'll cut open your nipples and pour salt in the wounds.

MT: A bit graphic, aren't we? But I'm tired and I'm leaving tomorrow and I need to finish this shit now! If any of you want to ask Elvira a question, I'll be sure to answer in my next chapter!

E: See ya, fuckwads!

MT: Hey, be nice!