Chapter three: Can't Touch This
"You almost ready?" Clary heard Jace ask from outside the bathroom.
Clary emerged as soon as he finished knocking, stepping out in a tight, plain black, racerback tank, and a short black and white crocheted skirt. She had on the shortest black heels Isabelle would allow her—which was still four inches—and a black and white cameo pin. Not too dressy, more light and summery. It wasn't exactly summer, but it was still warm.
The occasion was Magnus's party, the first one Clary will have gone to since the night Simon turned into a Darkling. The night that it became inevitable for him to become a vampire.
Simon still claims that the vampire thing is perfect for him. He even claims it's helped his band gain it's newfound popularity.
At least he was still able to go out into the sun. And the Mark hasn't shown any long term or negative side effects other than the fact that he never likes staying in one place for long periods of time. He'd turn full-out nomadic one day, Clary was sure of it. Following his prey wherever it take him...
She felt Jace take her hand, pulling her out of their room. He looked sinfully sexy in dark wash jeans that fit him perfectly, and a black button down shirt with its cuffs rolled up at quarter length, thin enough to faintly outline his broad chest and defined muscles. He was almost too sexy. For two reasons; one, Clary wasn't sure how long she could control herself around him, and two, she hated the way girls looked at Jace, like Clary wasn't there and Jace was a piece of meat each one of them wanted to take a bite out of.
Simon met them outside the Institute, Maia at his side. Maia was always at his side nowadays. It was beginning to piss Clary off, but she did note that Simon was getting more and more irritable around her lately, snapping at her, rolling his eyes at her, ignoring her every now and then. And she just couldn't take the hint. She was sabotaging whatever chances she had with Simon all by herself, much to Isabelle's pleasure.
Clary loved both Maia and Isabelle, but she loved Simon more and out of the two, Clary saw Isabelle as the better candidate. It wasn't that she liked Isabelle more, but she was just a better match for him. She hated to say it, but Simon's head was getting pretty big lately, what with his band getting more popular, girls throwing themselves him nonstop, the constant cat fight between the Shadowhunter and the Downworlder. Not to mention every since his transformation, not only has he become more attractive, but more graceful and athletic. He could do things no one else at school could and that wasn't even using any effort. And Maia was only feeding his ego, making it bigger and bigger. Clary knew Isabelle could keep that from happening, that she could keep him in place.
"Looking good, Fray," Simon said, making it clear that, to him, she would always be Clary Fray, even if the last name was fictional.
"You're not lookin' too bad yourself, Lewis," Clary smiled, knowing what an understatement that really was. She wasn't afraid to admit it; her best friend was a total hottie. He was really playing up his "rocker image" with black faded skinny jeans, showing off his slim but toned figure, a thin white tee shirt with his band's name on it—after going through hideous names like Laundry Demonstration, Killing Sheila, (after Eric's girlfriend, Sheila, was caught cheating on him), White Board/Black Hand, and Sleep For The Sinister, (which Clary didn't think was half bad, but the band thought it was too long)—The Raveners, red custom made Converse, and one of those really big, loose black vest-type things.
The Raveners band logo was going to be the disgusting, unintelligent demon, drawn by Clary herself, but her and Simon decided to change it simply to a raven. Hugo, Hodge's Raven, to be exact. The band all liked it, Clary liked it, and soon after, Simon got a tattoo of the logo on his left shoulder blade with The Raveners written underneath. That was how sure he was of the band.
Their music was really good, too. They were getting pretty big. Then, Simon made some connections, and the awesome tee shirts were dispensed to the band, friends of the band, and a select few who they decided to sell them too.
Simon even got an "edgy" hair cut, the front coming down diagonally over his left eye, half-way covering his Mark that refused to leave. The back was shorter, and tousled, slightly spiked up in a messy-fashion. It looked good, but Clary couldn't help but comment on how similarly it rivaled the "Kate Cut" originally starting with Kate Gosselin on John and Kate Plus Eight. Needless to say, Simon quickly and temperamentally resented it. But, really, how much more clichéd could you get? On a guy or a girl, that haircut should be band for being way too overdone. She was pretty sure Simon was just mad because he couldn't change his hair if he wanted to, not without going even shorter, since his hair no longer grew.
Clary hadn't even realized they, Simon, Maia, Isabelle, Alec, Jace, and her, were walking to the subway.
When they all crammed into the crowded subway, Jace and Isabelle were the only two to land a seat. Clary didn't mind standing, but apparently Jace did. She felt a pair of strong arms, no matter how familiar, never failing to make her heart speed up and the tingling feeling of wherever he was touching her to spread throughout her entire body, pull her down.
She landed on Jace's lap a little to hard and ungracefully by the sound he made, but he picked the wrong time to grab her, right as they went into motion.
"Sorry," Clary squeaked shifting her weight around a little to make herself comfortable.
"Clary, could you maybe stop doing that?" Jace whispered in an almost pained voice.
Clary knew by the hardening she felt underneath her that he wasn't asking her to stop for his sake, but for hers. Because God knows what an overly-aroused Jace would do to her on a subway. When it came to sex, Jace lost almost all of his discretion.
If that really were the case, then why the hell am I still a virgin? Clary asked herself.
Clary was getting pretty damn sick of that pesky hymen of hers. Why couldn't she and Jace just do the deed and get rid of it for good? It was so infuriating.
"We're almost there," Alec half-squealed. Clay barley ever saw him get excited, he contained his emotions so well. It was sweet to see him get worked up over seeing Magnus.
Magnus and Alec had probably gone further than Clary and Jace. Stupid sexually active warlock and his Shadowhunter boyfriend.
By the time they arrived, Clary was already wanting to go back to the Institute. She wasn't in a very partying mood. And she knew that the night would sure as hall be a long one.
Simon walked through Magnus's door with two girls. Two decisions. Two choices. Ever since coming back from Alicante, he'd been flocked with girls. But, really, the decision only came down to the two on either side of him.
There was the sexy, seductive Isabelle, who let you know where your place was and kept you there. She was guarded, she kept thirty-inch thick steel walls up at all times. Actually it was like a steel dome, steel sphere that could only be opened from the inside. But once you got inside, it was a beautiful, deep, sad vulnerable place that you never wanted to leave. It was also an abrasive place. She snapped easily, but that was nothing. When she really snapped, it was worse than a category five hurricane.
Then there was Maia. She had the least-guarded tongue Simon had ever known. She let you know how she felt about you, and that she could kick your ass if you pissed her off. She may have a loose tongue, but she also had many secrets that Simon was dying to find out about. But she was clingy. He didn't blame her for that, he could tell under her hard exterior, she had a difficult time feeling truly safe. But lately it was getting on more than Simon's nerves.
Simon knew he should just let them both down easily and leave. Leave his mother, his best friend, his band, his love triangle. But he was too selfish. He knew he should make up some story about falling in love with an immortal Downworlder and leave everyone. They'd be better off without him.
"Let's dance," Maia said, whisking Simon away, as far away from Isabelle as possible it seemed.
But that didn't matter. Isabelle was dating Maia's rather intimidating ex, Freaky Pete. Simon knew it was to spark jealousy in Maia and him, and it worked. Simon was a little jealous, and Maia was fumingly so.
Maia ground herself against him, dancing a little too over the top. Sure, it gave Simon's body the reaction she was hoping for, but deep down, she knew Isabelle did so much more. She subtlety seduced him with bother her mind and body.
Of course, he was attracted to them both. Any straight mind would be. But was he in love with them? Or were they yet another couple of rebound girls? Simon knew he still loved Clary—as more than a friend. Not that he let her know that, that would just hurt her, he wasn't stupid. But she was happy with Jace. Somehow. Personal feelings for the pretentious ass aside, he treated Clary pretty well. She deserved him. Weather Jace deserved her? He wasn't sure. No one deserved Clary in his opinion.
"Simon," Maia whispered, so low that any human couldn't hear above the music. "Let's get out of here. Isabelle and Clary have both obviously moved on. We're meant to be."
"Whoa," Simon said, backing away. "Look, I'm sixteen. I'm really not looking for 'meant to be' just yet."
He knew it was a little harsh, but it had to be done.
Alec watched Magnus have a great time at his party. He was glad Magnus was happy, but would it hurt to talk to his boyfriend, say... at all? Maybe a simple "hi" by the end of the night?
Magnus was having a blast... flirting with all the guys and girls. Well, maybe he wasn't exactly flirting with the girls, but he wasn't exactly steering clear of them, either. Or the men.
Alec downed his fourth drink. He wasn't a crazy drunk, he wasn't an obnoxious drunk, he wasn't a violent drunk. He was a brooding drunk. No wonder Magnus didn't want to be with him, he was no fun, not good enough for Magnus.
Jeez, what was in that last drink? Whatever, it's not like it mattered.
"You're dating Magnus Bane, right?"
Alec snapped his head up to see two guys staring at him expectantly. "Yes..."
"Well, good luck with that. Tell him to treat you better than he did Ivan, okay?" he asked, abruptly turning around with no further explanation.
So, Magnus was player. He figured that much, it was pretty obvious. He probably didn't even want to be tied down to Alec.
Ivan. Was that who came up to him, or was he just a friend of Ivan's? Alec wondered.
Again, not like it mattered. Magnus probably dated both men who came up to him.
Alec wasn't even in the mood to flirt with them to make Magnus jealous. Magnus sure was, though. What a great idea, coming to this party was. Alec knew he could never live up to Magnus. He may as well just go home.
He made his way through the crowd, but not before grabbing another drink for the road. Right as he had his hand on the knob, Alec felt a hand on him.
"Don't touch me," Alec snapped before even turning around to see who it was.
"That certainly wasn't your motto last night..."
Alec froze up, not expecting Magnus to notice him leaving.
"What do you want, Magnus?" he asked in an exasperated voice.
"I want you to stay, obviously, or I wouldn't be grabbing your arm," Magnus reasoned, pulling Alec back to the party.
"Well, I'm not in much of a partying mood, so I think I'm going to head out," Alec said, reaching for the door again.
"You're no fun," Magnus complained.
"Yeah, I know."
Clary and Jace walked into the party hand in hand. She had no desire to let go for the rest of the night, she wanted everyone to know that he was hers and she was his.
"I'm gonna go get us some drinks," Jace shouted over the music, letting her hand go.
So much for not letting go of him the entire night.
Clary sighed, making sure to follow behind him. She still wasn't used to Downworlder parties, and she didn't want to be alone.
She saw Jace talking to some vampire girl, laughing like they were old friends. She reached her hand up towards Jace.
She did not just touch his arm. Every Seventeen magazine clearly states arm touching is the epitome of flirting.
Clary watched in horror as the vampire vixen leaned up to whisper something in Jace's ear. His eyes widened and he backed away some, rubbing the back of his neck. Clary could see clearly, but it was nothing without being able to hear them.
Jace had a strange strained face on his look, confusing Clary. Until she saw the girl's hands very south of where they should be. After what seemed like too long, Jace pulled her hands back up, pushing her back some.
But that was it for Clary, she was done. She wanted to go home—not to the Institute, but to Luke's place, who was currently in Idris with her mother. She wanted to make some hot chocolate and curl up with one of his books
She pushed her way through the crowed, making her way to the door, but not before someone grabbed her arm.
She jerked her arm out of—most likely—Jace's grip. "I'm leaving."
"I could tell," A voice that certainly didn't belong to Jace told her. "And you look like you're leaving for the same reason as me."
"Alec?" she asked, turning around to face the Shadowhunter she wasn't exactly close with.
"Yeah. Wanna go to Taki's?" he asked, looking a bit uncomfortable.
"I was going to head over to Luke's actually," she admitted, not really wanting to go somewhere that so reminded her of Jace.
"Do you mind if I join you?" he asked, looking even more uncomfortable than he did before.
"Of course not," Clary said, touched Alec wanted to spend alone time with her, and in such a different environment for him. "Come on."
They walked down to the side of the street, and hailed a cab, taking it to Luke's. To say to was an awkward ride over would be an understatement.
"So this is Luke's bookstore," Clary said, pointing out the obvious. "And apartment."
They went through the bookstore to Luke's apartment. Luckily, Clary had an extra key with her.
Clary got a head start on making the hot chocolate while Alec looked around in Luke's personal library.
She brought out the hot chocolate and a Toblerone bar, just like Luke used to do.
"Thanks, Clary," Alec said, accepting the beverage and half of the candy bar.
"No problem," Clary said, dipping a chocolate triangle in the hot liquid. "So why'd you leave the party?"
"Magnus," Alec sighed, sucking the melting chocolate. "He's like two different people, you know? There's the sweet, understanding, funny Magnus I...," he coughed and looked a little uncomfortable for a moment, before regaining his composure, "fell in love with. And then there's the cocky, flirty, single-guy partying Magnus. Like the one in there. He tells me he doesn't know what I'm talking about and that he's the same Magnus twenty-four/seven, but I don't know... I don't even think he knows what the problem is."
"I know what you mean," Clary sighed. "Jace and I have the most amazing relationship... when we're not fighting. Lately we've just been snapping at each other nonstop, and I'm worried that our relationship is failing. And not only that, but there's the constant string of girls throwing themselves at him constantly, most of which make it painfully clear they've had some kind of... history with Jace, and the fact that I can't even touch him is just icing in the fucking cake!"
"One, Clary, the keyword is history. In the past. Over with. Trust me when I tell you that Jace has eyes for only you, and he, er... wants things just as much as you do, probably more. And the fighting I'm sure is due to the pent up frustration between you two. Magnus and I were that way when I was a little more shy around him."
Clary could see how hard this conversation was for Alec, but the fact that he was telling her what he was, meant so much. "Alec? Magnus has been single for more than seven hundred years. Don't you think a relationship may be a quite a leap? Does he know you left?"
"No. Just like Jace doesn't know you left," Alec pointed out all-knowingly.
"Good. I hope he worries," was all Clary said, feeling slightly ashamed about it.
"You know he will, Clary. And you know what he'll do to try to find you. He'll go crazy. At least leave him a message, you don't even have to tell him where you are, just that you're okay."
"I guess you're right," Clary sighed, locating her phone.
She picked it up and saw she had four missed calls from Simon, two from Isabelle, eight from Jace, and quite a few texts and voice messages from the trio. She knew Jace had put them up to it. Simon even said so in a couple texts. Then she had a few from Magnus, telling her that Jace was terrorizing his guests and also wondering if she'd seen Alec.
I'm with Alec. We left early.
That was all she told Jace. She knew he'd tell Simon, Isabelle, and Magnus the news.
Before she could even put her phone back down it buzzed in her hand, letting her know she had a new message from Jace.
Institute. Now.
Yeah right, buddy, she thought to herself, angered at how Jace acted as if he had control over her, like he owned her.
She didn't reply to tell him no, but that didn't stop him from rephrasing himself.
Where are you guys? I'm coming over.
And again, yeah right. She didn't respond to that either. She was safe, and that was all he needed to know.
She turned her phone off, heading back to the living room where Alec was.
"They know we're okay," Clary announced.
"Do they know where we are?" Alec asked, finishing off his chocolate.
"No, but that didn't stop Jace from demanding my presence at the Institute and my location."
Clary finished her hot chocolate around the same time Alec finished his. She took their dishes into the kitchen to rinse them out.
"I don't understand it, Alec. Why he acts like he owns me, like I'm one of his weapons, but that's all. We don't do nearly as much as other couples, he can go do whatever he wants, have all the girls he want flirting with him nonstop, and I'm not allowed to go to the Waffle House without his permission, and even if he knows who I'm with and that I'm safe, he demands me to drop what I'm doing and come rushing back to him. Go check your phone, I'm sure he's demanded to know where you are."
"Yes, Jace has inquired about our location, but only because he cares. When other women flirt with him, he doesn't flirt back. He talks to them, he's not going to be rude by ignoring them, but he doesn't want anything from anyone but you. And has he ever just run off, not telling you where he's going to be? Even by accident?"
"No... you're right. I'm acting much too immature for this. For a relationship. I'm new at it, too, just in a different way than Jace."
"Then, really, you guys are kind of on the same page, aren't you? Maybe not in the same book, but you both know where each other is coming from, do you not?"
"Where were you when I was dating Simon?" Clary laughed. "I definitely could have used your relationship insight then."
"I was kind of struggling with some issues of my own back then. I doubt I would have been any help."
"I'm glad I'm getting to know you better, Alec. You're not as snobby, arrogant, and self-important as I thought you were when I first met you."
"You, too, Clary. You're definitely not the naïve, immature, selfish girl I thought you were when you first came into our lives."
They laughed a little over that, realizing how true bother statements were.
"I should see Jace," Clary admitted.
"And I should see Magnus, although his house isn't the private environment I'm seeking at the moment."
"Thank you, Alec, it was great talking to you," Clary said, stepping forward to give him a hug. He was stiff at first, but them he relaxed, giving into it.
"I'm going to go back to Magnus's, you go see Jace," Alec said as they walked out of the bookstore entrance. Clary locked it up, following him out.
Jace knew that Clary would be the death of him. She knew how to push his buttons just right, weather seducing him or infuriating him it didn't matter.
But she was safe. She was safe and that's all that mattered. She was probably even angrier with him than he was her.
Jace decided to go to the practice room to work off his stress. The punching bag was definitely first. Then the weights, then the tred.
Twenty minutes into it, on the weights, he heard someone enter the room.
"Clary," he said, putting the weights down to hug her, even though he was sweaty and gross. She didn't mind, she hugged him back.
They walked back upstairs to their room, where Jace sat on the bed, Clary standing before him. He took her hands in his.
"I haven't been myself lately. I'm sorry for being such a controlling ass, and the newness of being in a serious relationship is no excuse, I just—"
"Listen," Clary said, cutting him off. "We're both new at this, just not in the same way. You're experienced with girls, just not with relationships, and I'm just not experienced at all. Like Alec said, we're on the same page, but maybe in different books."
"So what should we do? Take it slower?" Jace said, not wanting to. If anything, he wanted to take things to the next level.
"I think we've set a pretty good pace, we just don't know what to do with it."
"I couldn't agree more," Jace said, pulling Clary down to his lap.
"Just out of curiosity... how many girls have you... been with?" Clary asked biting her lower lip nervously.
"Define 'been with'," Jace said. "In the literal sense, I've been with many girls, guys, too. Being with them as in being in their presence."
"I mean," Clary said, taking a deep breath. "How many women have you had sex with?"
Jace was slightly taken aback by her bluntness. "Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to, Clary."
"But I want to know the answer, Jace," she insisted.
"You can't take back what you know," Jace warned.
"Technically you can," Clary quipped. "Magnus had been doing it to me for years."
"Ignorance is bliss? What you don't know won't hurt you?" Jace tried.
"Enough with the damn clichéd quotes, Jace, just tell me."
"Why does it matter?"
"It matters to me. Tell me. It's nothing you can change, so I won't be mad about it," Clary said, her voice softening. Jace was going to upset her either way, telling her or not telling her, and he hated that.
"Maybe around twenty. I would take back every one of them if I could, Clary, you know that."
She just nodded, looking a little hurt. It was the worst reaction, in Jace's eyes. He would much rather her yelling at him, telling him what a man-whore he was than this. This looked like it truly hurt her.
"Any," she said, swallowing a little. "Any of them after we met?"
"Yes. When you were with Simon. I felt like if you were going to try to move on, I should, too. It wouldn't be fair to either of us if I didn't try, if I only pined after you, making it that much harder on the both of us. But it felt so wrong, and I couldn't even go through with it. And then once more after that, but again, I hated it. I felt ashamed of myself, but you've got to remember, this was when I thought you were my sister."
Clary nodded, her eyes glazed over a little with pent up tears. "I'm going to bed."
Jace hugged her and leaned in to kiss her neck, but she stiffened at his touch, flinching away a little.
"Not yet, Jace. Let it sink in."
Jace nodded and went to take a shower while Clary put herself to bed. He hated himself for everything he did in his past. Everyone he did in his past. It wasn't fair to Clary and he didn't deserve her at all.
A/N: End of chapter three! One of my longest, I'd say. I don't feel like I'm capturing the characters well enough, so I'm going to re-read the books, in hopes that I can do a little better. Review!