Okay, chapter six here I come! Sorry for the delay, I freaking broke my computer D': Then again, I usually break everything I come into contact with, so I'm not too surprised. So now, I'm writing on Microsoft Word on my mom's old desktop computer. Sorry if anything comes out weird, I'm used to writing on Open Office, and it won't download to this computer "/
Chapter six: One More Day
Clary awoke with a stiff neck, her head lying on Jace's warm, muscled chest. She looked around confusedly, taking in her surroundings. She suddenly remembered he previous day, feeling much more well rested than she had in a while. Sitting up to stretch some, she felt the bed jostle a little.
Jace sat up beside Clary, lightly rubbing her back.
"What time is it?" Clary asked, realizing they had gone to bed at around nine-thirty in the morning.
"A quarter 'til four," Jace said, taking a quick glance at his watch.
"So, do you want to deal with everything now, or do you want to put things off for while?" Clary asked. She didn't even know what the problem was yet, what the runes were doing, or better yet, what they would do. It was all too confusing.
"Marys already gave us the day off of training, we might as well take a break from everything today."
Clary liked the sound of that. A day off of everything. No problems, well, none that they would pay any mind to, at least. "What should we do on our day off?"
"I say we watch a movie, order some take out, or a pizza, and lay around, doing nothing like most kids our age," Jace said, smiling at her.
"Not everything most kids our age are doing," Clary mumbled.
"And they say guys have a one-track mind," Jace teased, nudging Clary.
"I just don't get it," Clary said. "Marys knows about Alec and Magnus, I'm sure. She knows about Isabelle and her flavors of the week, and she knew about you and your past conquests. Why is it she's just now executing this rule, and only with us?"
Jace sighed, running a hand through his silky, golden-blond hair. "Don't blame Marys."
"What?" Clary asked, dumbfounded. "Who should I blame?"
"Me," Jace said almost inaudibly.
"You?" Clary asked, her cheeks on fire from both anger and embarrassment. She stood up to walk to the bathroom, not wanting Jace to see how venerable and hurt she felt.
"Clary wait," Jace said, standing up to grab her wrist. "No," Clary whispered, not turning around. "You made me look like a fool, Jace. If you weren't interested, you should have fucking told me. Instead, you go to your mother and have her make up and fucking enforce a fake rule."
"It's not like that, Clary, I--"
"No," Clary cut him off. "Get out."
"But--"
"GET OUT!" Clary yelled, facing Jace for the first time. Tears were threatening to spill over, and like hell was Jace going to see her cry over this. "I don't care about whatever reason you had for doing what you did. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to see you. Get out."
"Please, just…"
Clary didn't hear the rest. She slammed the bathroom door in Jace's face, locking it and turning on the water to drown out whatever Jace had to say.
Silent tears fell down her cheeks as she undressed, her throat burning from holding back full out sobs.
Clary stepped into the shower, plugging her ears when she heard Jace's voice above the rushing water.
After a while, she took them out. Jace wasn't talking. Hopefully he'd gone back to the Institute. She finished washing up, feeling a tiny bit better after her shower. How stupid she felt. Here she was, throwing herself at Jace, making it clear how much she wanted him, and in reality, he was going through all kinds of lengths because his feelings didn't match hers. He could have just said something. Instead of putting up some sick façade, making Clary believe he wanted her just as much as she wanted him.
Was this some kind of sick pleasure for him? Watching Clary pine after him, while he knew she wouldn't do anything? Bastard…
It hurt to think of Jace like that. Maybe… maybe he did love her, he just didn't lust after her. Which still hurt.
When she emerged from the bathroom, her skin flushed, a towel wrapped around her head, and a thick robe on, Jace was sitting on her bed.
Clary ignored him as best she could. At least, she pretended to ignore him. Really, his presence was overwhelming.
"Please let me explain," Jace said, getting up to walk closer to him.
Clary made no move to stop him or to tell him to carry on. She acted like he wasn't there/
"I love you, Clarissa," he said, kneeling beside where she was sitting.
"But you don't lust after me," Clary finished, still not looking at him. "It's fine. I understand."
"No. You don't understand," Jace said, taking her hand and pulling her up. She was facing him, but refused to look his way. She felt his strong hands gently grab her face, pulling it to meet his. She planted a soft, warm kiss on her lips. Keeping them there, but remaining still. He pulled back, looking her in the eyes. "I love you. And I lust after you, more than you could imagine."
"Then why?" Clary whispered.
"Because, you're different from any other woman I've been with. I love you, and that's definitely a first. And I don't want to rush things, not with you. I wasn't going to take away your innocence during one heated night in my bedroom at the Institute. Which I knew would happen. I wanted to make things special for you. And if I told you that, what would you tell me?"
"I… I would tell you that it would be special no matter what," Clary whispered.
"And if Marys didn't enforce the rule, things would get carried away between us sooner or later, and I'd never forgive myself."
"You should have talked to me about it," Clary said, leaving it at that.
"I know. I know I should have."
Well, this changes things, Clary thought. She really didn't expect a word of what Jace had just said.
Clary knew Jace wanted to make her first time perfect, but she didn't even believe in a perfect first time. She really wished Jace hadn't had done this.
"I just can't believe it," Clary said, shaking her head.
"I know, I'm so sorry I lied to you," Jace said solemnly.
"Not that," Clary said, "the fact that I could have gotten rid of my V-card a long time ago."
Jace looked a little confused, so Clary decided to clarify.
"I don't care about my first time being 'perfect'. I don't even think it could be. It's going to hurt, and it'll be messy, and honestly, I just want to get it over with."
"Really, Clary?"
"Yes," Clary whined. "Jace, my virginity has actually gotten between us. I think my hymen is causing us relationship problems."
A smile played on Jace's lips. "How so?"
"One, being as sexually frustrated as I am, it's making me kind of irritable. Don't tell me you haven't noticed. I'm pretty sure it's taken a toll on you, too. Two, this would never have happened. Three… I don't know, it just is!"
"God, I'm sorry Clary," Jace apologized for the thousandth time.
"You could stop apologizing and do something about it…" Clary unsubtly hinted.
"Now?" Jace asked, looking around.
"It's out day off, why not?" Clary laughed.
"Why don't we wait a little bit before jumping right into things?" Jace suggested.
"Fine," Clary agreed. "Let's watch a movie."
Clary knew she'd be set free of her little… burden before the movie ended. Hopefully.
*~~*~~*~~*
Clary got dressed, much to her dismay, following Jace out into the living room. They ended up watching The Duchess. One of the most boring movies Clary had ever seen. Clary knew how tedious the movie was when she picked it out, but that was all apart of her plan.
About ten minutes into the movie, she could tell Jace was already bored and frustrated with the movie.
"What do those sub captions even say?" he asked, shaking his head.
"What's with the rush into the marriage? They should have shown her life beforehand a little," Jace mumbled, making Clary smile. Such a critic…
"Are you enjoying the movie, Jace?" Clary asked, smiling up at him.
"No," Jace answered, "have you seen this movie before?"
"Not all of it," Clary answered truthfully. After the first hour into the seemingly endless movie, she ended up stopping it to watch X-Men three instead. "We don't have to watch a movie…."
Clary leaned over to kiss Jace chastely on the corner of his mouth, lingering for only a few seconds.
Clary held her breath until Jace finally leaned over to kiss her back. Their lips moved simultaneously against each other, but it was still too… PG for Clary's mood. She wanted it rated freaking XXX.
Clary shuddered as she felt Jace's smooth tongue slide over her lower lip. Clary eagerly opened her mouth, accepting his warm tongue to explore his mouth. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her lips, causing Jace to smile with her.
Clary threaded her fingers through Jace's soft golden hair, clenching her fingers around his soft locks, pulling him closer at the same time. Jace attacked her mouth with his lips, kissing her hungrily. Clary leaned back so they were laying down on the couch, Jace settled in between her legs.
Clary moaned in his mouth as he began to grind his hardening bulge into her. He lifted his lips from hers, only so they could travel down her neck and collarbone. "God, Jace…"
"I want you, Clary," Jace practically growled, nipping and licking at her neck. He had no clue what those four words did to her. Not just physically, but her heart fluttered and an overwhelming feeling of happiness washed over her. She felt foolish for thinking Jace didn't want her the way she wanted him. She didn't fully understand why he did what he did, but she would inquire about that later. Now, she was just a little distracted…
Clary worked the buttons on Jace's shirt, praying he wouldn't stop her.
Her prayers worked, apparently.
On her fourth button down, Jace leaned up slightly to rip the damn thing off, buttons flying everywhere. He shrugged it off of his broad shoulders, and down his well muscled arms of a Shadowhunter.
Losing contact with Clary seemed to clear Jace's head as he pulled a frustrated Clary up from the couch.
"I didn't wait this long," Jace started, staring into Clary's eyes, hypnotizing her, almost, "so you could lose it on Luke's couch in board daylight, with a crappy movie playing in the background."
Clary smiled up at him, hoping he wasn't planning on waiting much longer. Clary felt as if she were going to explode.
Jace grabbed Clary's hand and took her to her bedroom. Clary's heart was pounding out of control, butterflies filling her stomach.
Jace reached up to pull Clary's thick curtains closed, efficiently shutting out most of the light. Clary bit her lip in anticipation for what was bound to happen next.
"Clary, are you sure?" Jace asked, making his way back over to her. "We can always wait just a few more days, what's the rush?"
"The rush is, this should have happened a while ago, and honestly, I have no idea what's in store for us tomorrow when we have to deal with these goddamn runes," Clary said in a rush.
"You want to have sex with me," Jace said slowly, "because you think we're going to die."
Clary groaned and rolled her eyes. Of course Jace would read too much into that. "No, I want to have sex with you because I'm extremely attracted to you and we've got a golden opportunity to do… said activity. And the fact that I have no clue what's in store for us tomorrow is merely even more of a motive."
"In that case…" Jace said with a smirk, making his way over to her.
Clary's heart sped up as Jace made his way over to her, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her closer to him. The second their lips touched, Clary could have sworn she saw fireworks, and felt sparks, and everything else people feel in cheesy, clichéd romance novels and movies.
Clary wrapped her legs around Jace's torso, bringing them closer together. She deepened the kiss, opening her mouth to invite Jace's tongue inside.
Jace pulled back to life Clary's top off in a rush. He walked them to the bed, Clary laying under him.
"Are you sure, Jace?" Clary asked, not wanting him to regret anything.
He laughed, much to Clary's confusion. "For some reason, I always thought it would be me asking you that."
Clary's laugh was quickly cut off with a gasp as Jace attached his lips to the top of her breasts, lightly kissing and licking to where her bra cut off. Clary arched her back, and Jace wasted no time unclasping her bra, throwing it somewhere across the room.
"Oh, God," Clary breathed as Jace too one of her taut nipples into his warm mouth. His mouth became even more fervent, as his hands worked on pulling down Clary's sweatpants, Clary kicked them off, eager to show Jace what was underneath.
"No underwear?" Jace asked calmly, although the look in his eyes was anything but calm.
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out except for a nervous giggle.
Jace quickly unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them and his navy boxers off in one swift movement.
Clary's breathing hitched. She knew Jace was big, but it was really dawning on her that she'd have to fit all of that into her. She didn't even know if that was possible.
"Are you sure?" Jace asked. Clary rolled her eyes. Of course she was sure, she'd been sure for quite a while. Nervous, but sure. She thought…
"I'm positive," Clary said, reinforcing it with a smile.
Clary closed her eyes, getting lost in the feeling of Jace nuzzling her neck. He placed both his hands on her ribs, slowly sliding them down. Clary whimpered as he reached the top of her thighs, resting his hands there.
Clary gasped when he moved his hands to her wet center, he thumb rubbing her sensitive clit. Clary tried to enjoy it, but she was too nervous.
She saw Jace reach to get something out of his wallet. A condom. Of course. She shuddered, thinking about Luke's….
"Are you ready?" Jace asked, obviously excited. You'd think it was his first time.
"Yes," Clary answered, nodding her head. She shut her eyes, bracing herself for the oncoming pain.
Jace slowly slid himself into her, stretching her more than she thought possible. With one nod from Clary, he thrust himself all the way in, breaking her barrier. And dear fucking God, it hurt.
Clary shut her eyes and arched her back, trying not to let a tear escape. Only Jace took her little movement as pleasure not pain. He started going faster, Clary bit her lip to keep from screaming. The most she'd had was one, occasionally two, tips of her fingers in her, and now this. She bit her lip to distract herself from the pain.
It was more of a dull pain, throbbing pain, but it was still there. She wished more than anything that Jace would slow down, but like hell would she ask him that. She would fake it.
"Oh, Jace," she sighed, please, please stop, she added mentally.
"Clary," Jace grunted, going faster. At least it would be over faster. His grunts and moans grew more frequent, signaling to Clary that hers should too.
She wrapped her legs tightly around Jace's midsection, trying to still his movements. But Jace wouldn't have to know that.
After what seemed like forever, but was probably a minute or so, Jace moaned her name, filling the condom. And, thank god, he slowed. And then stopped.
"God, Clary, I'm so sorry," Jace said, pulling out of her. The emptiness felt strange now, but it was welcomed. "It's just it's been a while, and you know… I could--"
"No," Clary said a little too quickly. "It was great, Jace. I'm sure next time will be even better."
Clary hated lying to Jace, but she didn't see any other option. It wasn't a full lie, at least. Next time had to be better… right?
Clary excused herself to take a shower again. She felt sticky and a little gross. Not that what she did with Jace was gross, not at all. She couldn't help that… dirty feeling she felt. Maybe they should have waited. It was rushed, in the middle of the day, not romantic at all…
Jace had been right. He knew Clary better than she did herself.
No, Clary corrected. He knows sex better than I do.
AN: Not what you expected, huh? A friend helped me write it, just because I felt weird writing a huge lemon alone… So I give you the most realistic first time lemon on Fan Fiction! That I know of at least… But their sex life will get better, I promise. Originally, this chapter was going to be, well, better. Sorry it sucked, but I'm really stressed, my baby (okay, my computer, but he was a part of me) is DEAD, and not in the low battery way. He's in computer heaven. Along with all my stories, ideas, pictures, story lines (like my chapter outlines!), and much more. AND I leave for boarding school tomorrow at five-thirty in the fucking morning, and I haven't even packed yet.