Oho~

I am excited. Thank you very much for liking this…so I decided to take my perversion *lecherous smile* and put it into this….LOL.

I amaze myself sometimes. It's a) how I'm supposed to be working right now, but I'm neglecting it. Whatever. Screw homework. B) At my perverseness…yes, I know c) Ingenious ideas that hit me when I'm drinking Milk!

I know, milk, right?

I don't even like it.

Oh yea, Shota means more or less of kids in a sexual connotation. LMAO. Go wiki it!

Of Eavesdropping and Engine Oil Mello POV

Mello lounged on the sofa, running his hands through the velvet fibers that were interwoven with the cushions. They…were purple.

Purple, really.

Of all the colors, they picked purple?

This mauve was a hideous color, and didn't flatter his outfit at all. Ick.

For a few minutes, Mello was momentarily occupied by the disgusting tint of the couch to be bothered by his seemingly unending monotony.

The girls here were too easy. He despised them, and their willingness, evil intentions under fake facades of compliancy.

The guys…Mello didn't even bother. They were all too macho here, too brawny and tough. And he didn't want to be the one on the bottom either…

But most of all…it was Near.

No one could ever even get close to Near. If it wasn't him, Mello was never going to be satisfied.

He suddenly remembered what the purple reminded him of!

It was Near's purple umbrella that he always had when the kids at Wammy's went on school trips.

Well, school trips weren't exactly the words to describe the "educational" expeditions that L's potential successors went on to prove their worth.

Mello closed his eyes.

And reminisced.

Narrator: (In a grandiose voice) Once upon a time…

Mello: (Interrupts) WHAT THE HELL! It's the farthest thing from once upon a time!

Narrator: Back when the trees were children and the Earth was young…the earth children –

Mello: You shitty narrator, I'm NOT that old. You know what, I'm leaving. (Leaves)

It was a spring day when it happened.

When Mello realized how he felt for Near.

The kids were at a playground, examining a recent crime – the rape and disembowelment of a 9 year old child.

The clouds had parted to reveal a sun at its full glory, and Near immediately hid under the safe shade of purple umbrella. Mello had laughed at Near's cowardice, fully knowing that Near could not stand the sun.

Mello had walked over and forcefully snatched the umbrella from Near, smirking as he did it.

He loved seeing Near cowering in fear, and Mello had so much power…it was…thrilling.

He could control every aspect of Near…and his emotions. Power. Greed. Control. Over Near, that was.

No wonder Mello became such a big fan of bondage.

Mello turned over and sighed.

Thinking of Near made him depressed, made him realize just how many miles separated their true love…

Yeah, right.

So Mello did his next favorite thing, the second on his list only after thinking about Near: eavesdropping on him.

Eavesdropping commence!

Near: (static sound) Hold on! It's still not working properly…it needs to be flexible! Do you want me to get some more oil to lubricate it?

-Muffled sound-

Near: Hold on, stay here, my love. I'm going to get some, so stay in bed!

-Sound of footsteps-

Near: I got it! Bear with me, but I don't know if it'll hurt when I apply it…I've never exactly, you know, been one…ugh! Sorry…that was necessary. Does it feel good?

Near: I love you…

Mello dropped the wireless transmitter, clutching his nose.

No one could see him like this. He thought nosebleeds only occurred to rabid fangirls, but this was…

So Near was on top? So Mello had caught him in a, in a *&(*%^ situation?

Mello fainted.

Near's POV

"I love you, Robotron EXIII-673d. I hope you feel a lot better. That squeak was awfully nasty to listen to." Near finished tucking in his dear toy, turned the lights off, and walked off.