6. 'Did Carlisle just say f***?'

Day 6

The four siblings were stood in the living room. Alice and Emmett were the only ones dressed normally, though Alice hardly counted her wearing a dress from Wal-Mart as normal. Rosalie wore yet another of the skimpiest bikinis she owned. Jasper still wore nothing except a Confederate flag around his waist. The girls stood on one side of the room with the boys on the other. The battle lines had clearly been drawn.

"What the hell did you say to Esme?" Jasper demanded angrily of his wife. Jasper had hoped that the return of their parents would finally mean the end of this stupid bet – and the return of his clothes.

Alice shrugged. "Just pointed out the truth," she replied nonchalantly.

"What 'truth' was that exactly?" Jasper asked his wife sarcastically. Alice was about to retort when they were cut off by a shout above them.

"This isn't the 17th Century, Carlisle!" Esme screamed.

"Yes I know that," Carlisle said exasperatedly.

"Then why do you act like it is?"

"I don't!" Carlisle snapped back, clearly beginning to lose his temper – which was something that it surprised his children that he even had.

"Really? Then why do you go to work while I stay at home taking care of the house and watching the kids?"

"Because … you like taking care of the house and watching the kids," Carlisle spoke slowly, sounding confused. After all, he knew her well enough to know it really was true.

"Oh I do now do I? For all you know I could resent it."

"But … you … don't," Carlisle said, he sounded confused out of his mind.

"Maybe I do!" Esme snapped.

"Do you?" Carlisle asked patiently.

"Maybe!" Esme replied hedging.

"So that's a no then," Carlisle said slightly smugly.

"DON'T YOU DARE PRESUME TO TELL ME WHAT I THINK!" Esme screamed.

Downstairs their children listen in astonishment.

"Carlisle and Esme are arguing?" Emmett asked in astonishment.

"Well done Alice! I think you're responsible for the first argument Carlisle and Esme have ever had. Happy now?" Jasper asked sarcastically. Alice felt a moment of guilt before looking into her parents' future again. She smiled at what she saw – it was the same girl's victory. Maybe Carlisle wouldn't appreciate it, but Esme seemed delighted with the outcome and since Alice was in a defiant feminist mood, she was backing her mother all the way.

"In the end, yes!" Alice replied. The argument downstairs was cut off by the sound of something smashing upstairs.

"You made me smash one of my vases," they heard Esme growl.

"I made you?" Carlisle asked questioningly, his calm façade not quite hiding the sarcasm behind it. "I made you throw a vase at my head?"

Below them there was a snort of laughter from all four of their children at the image of their sweet-tempered mother throwing a vase at their father's head.

"Yes,, you made me," Esme hissed.

"I'm not the one acting like one of the children." Carlisle's reply was calm but cold. Only Carlisle could get a vase thrown at his head and still act calm.

"Oh I'm sorry. Did I forget my place?" Esme replied in a mocking tone.

"'Book stealing fairy' Esme," Carlisle stated in a mock calm voice.

"Yes, Carlisle, a book stealing fairy," Esme replied calmly trying to sound as sincere as possible.

In the living room, Rosalie and Alice had to stifle their laughter.

"'Book stealing fairy'?" Jasper and Emmett both asked incredulously. Alice and Rosalie were both too busy trying not to laugh to reply. Above them they heard Carlisle give a long-suffering sigh.

"What the fuck is going on, Esme?" he asked wearily, though some of the temper he was trying to keep under wraps sneaked in, hence his choice of words. A long silence, both upstairs and downstairs, followed his question.

"Did Carlisle just say 'fuck'?" Emmett whispered in shock.

"Carlisle just said 'fuck' right?" Jasper was also in shock.

"Carlisle just swore? At Esme?" Rosalie asked unbelievingly, even her icy façade had been broken by shock.

"Yeah, Carlisle just said 'fuck'," Alice confirmed unbelievingly. "Did not see that one coming," she admitted dejectedly, considering yet again that maybe she had taken this too far. It was just a bet, and as fun as the girl's victory looked, she was beginning to question what had to be done to get there.

"Did you just say the f-word?" They heard Esme question Carlisle in astonishment.

"Apparently so," Carlisle sounded like he'd surprised himself as well. They heard Esme giggle, and then suddenly she was laughing her head off. Downstairs her children started to laugh as well.

"This isn't funny, Esme!" They heard Carlisle shout. "Will you please just tell me what's going on?" Carlisle shout sobered up both Esme and his children downstairs.

"First Carlisle's swearing at Esme, now he's shouting her. Great work Alice!" Jasper snapped at her. "Keep this up we'll be the part of the world's first vampire children custody hearing!"

"Don't shout at me! It was TwindleDUMB over there who started it." Alice snappishly replied, pointing at Emmett.

"You're the one who took it seriously!" Emmett shouted back. "You're the one who used Esme's insecurities to drag her and Carlisle into it!"

"You're the one who's a sexist pig!"

"Alice, it's was never about women being weaker! It was a joke! I never meant it!"

"Ha! Ha! Is that you admitting you were talking bullshit?" Alice asked excitedly.

"No! No!" Emmett back-pedalled. "Men are stronger. See! Bet you can't throw further then me" With that he grabbed the nearest large object to hand (the coffee table) and threw it in any direction. SMASH! The sound vibrated through the house cutting off the arguments both downstairs and upstairs.

"Ooooooh! You're really in trouble now!" Alice whispered mockingly to her brother as Esme and Carlisle arrived on the steps looking down at them. Esme's eyes were staring just behind them, at the hole in the window. Her eyes then flashed angrily at her children, quickly Alice, Rosalie and Jasper all pointed at Emmett.

"EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN!"

"You bunch of grasses. Whose side are you on anyway, Jasper?" Emmett muttered angrily to his siblings, glaring at his brother.

"The side that's not about to get killed by Esme," Jasper muttered back.

"How could you? Do you have any idea how much effort I put into looking after this house? Do you have any idea how much it means to me?" Esme demanded angrily.

"Didn't you spend the best part of the day complaining about being tied to this house?" Emmett pointed out, his reasoning being that he may as well go for it now – she couldn't get any angrier. Both Carlisle and Jasper covered their faces in exasperation.

"That's besides the point!" Esme snapped.

"I thought you resented it?" Emmett continued relentlessly. "Unless you don't resent it, in which case your angry at Carlisle for nothing. But if you did resent it, then you wouldn't care if the house got smashed."

"Yes I would, because I'm the one who has to clear it up!" Esme snapped back. "Because that's what a wife and mother does right?" she added sarcastically.

"There's only one person speaking bullshit right now Esme, and it's you," Emmett snapped back. There were several audible gasps around him.

"Did. You. Just. Swear. At. Me?" Esme hissed.

"Emmett, go clean it up right now!" Carlisle interjected, trying to defuse the situation.

"Oh! I'm sorry did anyone ask you to get involved? Think I can't control them myself?" Esme turned on her husband. Carlisle just lifted his arms up in the acknowledged sign for surrender or 'ok, I'm not getting involved'.

Emmett, his temper now at boiling point, decided he might as well take things a bit further. After all he really did have nothing to lose now. Suddenly he started jumping around the living room floor, leaving massive holes in the floor.

"Now if you didn't resent looking after the house, this would drive you mad!" Emmett said. "Of course that would mean admitting you did it because you enjoy it, not because you're forced into it because it's woman's place!" He continued to bounce around the living room, occasionally knocking into the furniture and the walls.

Esme watched, trying to hide her disgust.

"Join in, Jasper! It's fun!" Emmett boomed. Jasper glanced at his mother, knowing she was near breaking point – could this be the end of this stupid bet? Keeping a tight hold on the flag around his waist he began to jump around alongside his brother.

"You know love, you could just admit you care about the house. We all already know it's true, you're not really proving anything." Carlisle said cautiously. His wife shot him an angry glare and crossed her arms more tightly. "Okay, have it your way," he said with mock calm.

"Jump, Carlisle!" Emmett shouted. Carlisle just smiled at him.

"There doesn't appear to be any floor left to jump on," he stated. "I think you've proved your point now."

"Oh yeah," Emmett said in surprise as he and Jasper stopped. Alice and Rosalie were both stood against the wall looking at them with disgust.

"You missed a vase," Jasper said to his brother, pointing to a spot just behind Carlisle. There was one single vase of flowers left on the one piece of not destroyed furniture.

"I'll get it!" Emmett said, but before he could get to it Carlisle had turned around and knocked it over.

"That one you can blame me on!" he said calmly to his wife, not quite hiding his amusement. Esme stared wordlessly at her sons and husband.

"You two are …" She began pointing to her sons.

"Are what?" Emmett mocked her.

"You two are grounded!" Esme snapped. Emmett and Jasper just laughed at her, even Alice and Rosalie give a small giggle, while Carlisle gave a low chuckle.

"Esme, you do remember that I'm older then you," Jasper reminded her sarcastically.

"Older or not, I'm still your mother!"

"Ermmmm … that's some what of a contradiction," Jasper pointed out patronizingly.

"You're both grounded! End of!" she snapped temperamentally.

"Esme," Emmett began with a whine, but was cut off when his mother shot him a look of such anger he actually took a step back. "OK. Grounded."

"No it's not OK! I refuse to be treated like a child by a woman younger then me." Jasper said indignantly. Unfortunately some of his indignation was leaking through to everyone in the room, including his mother – fuelling her next comment.

"Fine. You can either admit you're grounded and stay in this house. Or you can leave." Esme snapped back. Silence followed this statement.

Esme would never tell any of us to leave. The same thought resounded through five minds.

Vision of victory or not this has gone to far, Alice thought guiltily. She'd definitely underestimated how affected her mother would be by this.

"Esme, love," Carlisle said gently, placing an arm around her.

"I didn't mean that!" Esme squeaked as she stood there looking ashamed of herself. Her temper had completely disappeared; helped by the flood of calm Jasper sent her way, guiltily trying to make up for his earlier accidental influence.

"You're right. You're my mother. You can ground me if you want to." Jasper would have said anything to remove the look of pain that now graced his mother's features.

"Come on, love," Carlisle whispered, using his arm around her to guide her away. Unfortunately, they happened to walk across the flowers that had fallen from the vase Carlisle had smashed. CRUNCH. The sound was enough to remind Esme why she had been angry, and she flew at full-speed out of his hold and into their bedroom. Carlisle followed seconds behind her, reaching the door to their bedroom as it slammed in his face.

"Consider this the vampire equivalent of sleeping on the couch!" Esme snapped at him from behind the closed door.

I guess I deserved that, Carlisle thought guiltily.

He didn't really deserve that, Esme thought guiltily.