Okay, first boy to disgust you out of liking is....(drum roll) Teddy Lupin! I know he's not technically related to me, but Uncle Harry practically adopted him. I also know that he's 25, married to Victoire Weasley-now Lupin, has a 1 year old daughter named Isabelle and is thus graduated and taken, but some of you might have been at Hogwarts when he was around, and developed a crush on him. A pointless crush, because, as stated above, he is married with kids. Some of you even...might...have...posters of him in your room, which not only is disgusting, is probably dangerous, because Victoire is not a person to anger. And somebody having a poster of her husband hanging in their room definitely is a 18 on the scale of 1-10 Victoire anger.

For those of you who are in my year or lower, and thus don't know him, I shall tell you a little more about him. First, I know most of you value looks more than personality (and I can see why, most of you coudn't get a guy with your personalities) so I'll tell you what he looks like. He is a metamorphagus, so that will be a little hard. For you people who obviously don't pay attention in Transfiguration, and don't know what a metamorphagus is, GO READ A BOOK!!!

...No, wait don't leave, I'll tell you. A metamorpahgus is someone who can change their appearance at will. So Teddy doesn't have a set look like most of us. Lucky him, he doesn't have to deal with frizzy red curls that poof into an afro. He only uses his skills at times of need, though. Usually he has wavy turquoise hair down to his ears, hazel eyes, and a skinny, but muscled body. For those who are swooning already, please refrain, and listen on.

Now to his personality. (yea!) He inherited is mother's loyalty and his father's kindness, so the Sorting Hat put him in Hufflepuff. For you lot who are thinking that Hufflepuffs are a load of old duffers, stay away from my family or I'll hex you. He plays guitar very well, and is an alright singer. He is the oldest in our family, so he is thus incredibly protective over everyone.

Darn, now I probably made a bunch more of you fall for him, which was not my goal. Now, as much as I'm disgusted by you for crushing on my cousins, I don't want Vic to kill you. Thus, I'm going to help you get over him by telling you embarrassing stories about him. First, when he was 5, according to my father, he used to be obsessed with Uncle Harry's messy hair, and would always try to change his hair to match it. Now, my mum, Aunty Ginny, and my late great aunt Lily, all agreed that the messy black hair of the Potters is unable to be imitated, so, naturally, Teddy couldn't mimic it. He kept trying, though, and on the day he finally got it, he was so happy, he peed in his pants. Another embarrassing story is the time when he was 12 and tried to fly on Aunt Ginny's Firebolt Revamped. He 'accidentally' crashed into their pond. Ginny was so mad, she nearly hexed him. He, to this day cannot fly on a broom, thanks to his mother's clumsiness. Are those enough stories to make you stop liking him? No? Well, I see your point, he was younger then. You want a recent one? Let me think... Oh! How about the time he forgot the password to the Hufflepuff common room. That wouldn't be so bad if you didn't know that:

a) he was the Head Boy

b) he made up the password

c) the password was Teddy Lupin

You've probably gotten over him after that display of stupidity right? Yes! I did my job right! Now Vic won't kill you. Unless, of course, she found out that you liked him. Which she won't. I promise I won't tell her. I was only flooing her to tell her that um, I am finally fluent in Francais!

Please don't kill me...