We don't own Twilight, or Tanya's whorish ways of seduction, for the lack of a better word.
Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter Two
Bella POV
"Jasper," I whispered back to him, in complete shock. He was the last person I expected to climb in through my bedroom window in the middle of the night.
"Bella," he repeated. I couldn't help but feel slightly better when I noticed that he was as nervous about this as I was.
But above the nervousness, I was also disappointed. I was hoping that Edward would be the one to come to my window. I was not expecting Jasper. My mind was full of questions, "Jasper? What are you doing here? What happened to the family talk?" Did Edward leave? But I couldn't ask that. I was too afraid of the answer.
"I came to apologise, I feel guilty for what happened." He paused, and glanced at me. He looked unsure. I waited, if he wanted to talk to me, then he should do it the way he planned to. "I am sorry. I'm not going to say I wasn't thinking, because I was. But my thoughts made me feel disgusted. All I could think about was your blood. I lost control, and we all know the consequences of my actions."
"I won't accept the apology." He kept his head low at my response, and I could see the shame in his face. And then, as he started to turn around, I continued, "Let me finish! I won't accept the apology, because you have nothing to be sorry about. It wasn't your fault, Jasper. I don't blame you for what happened."
He raised his head and looked at me with wide eyes. He was completely silent, and I knew he was testing my emotions, my honesty. The look he was giving me told me that he couldn't believe me or his power.
"Jasper, sit down? It's awkward with you standing by the window. If you don't want to be close to me, you could sit on the chair. I know it will be the same, but… it could be better?" He laughed at my rambling, and instead of sitting on the chair, he sat next to me on the bed. That surprised me, and I didn't try to hide my emotions. He never came this close to me, only when we were hiding in that hotel in Phoenix, but after that, never.
"Do you want to talk about it?" His voice was serious again. Would it make it better? Would it help to talk about it? I tried to talk about it earlier with Alice, but she left so quickly, as if she was avoiding the subject.
I nodded, I needed a friend to talk to, and I wanted Jasper as my friend.
"You are afraid." I nodded again. It was easy to admit because he already knew. Then the calm I felt, the forced calm, it disappeared. And the fear, the sadness, the despair were all back.
"I need the calm, please give it back," I almost begged. "Please, take these feelings away." I was crying now, a reaction that came so easy to me. How many times had I cried today? How many more times was I going to cry before this was all sorted out?
"There's nothing wrong with crying." Wrong, he was wrong. I was weak, and that was why Edward was leaving me. I was the little human, the little, weak, fragile human, in a fantastic world with wonderful creatures where I didn't belong. It was so easy for Jasper to say those things, he had Alice. I felt a sudden rush of jealousy and anger. And I wondered if it was possible to break away from all the things I was currently feeling.
"Why are you jealous and angry?" he asked, confusion lacing his tone.
"Because you have Alice," I stated simply, staring deep into his eyes. "It's so easy for you to say that to me. You can keep Alice, whereas I am about to lose Edward."
He laughed. Laughed.
"And you think it was always easy for Alice and me? You are wrong. It was difficult. I loved Alice the first time I saw her. But loving someone is complicated, and it takes a lot of work. Falling in love is effortless, but receiving that love from someone, and keeping that love, is a constant fight. It's easy to declare war, but not so easy to win it, is it?"
I was confused, from what Edward had told me, I was convinced that Alice and Jasper were always together. I had thought there were no hesitations in their relationship. I had thought that they were together from the start. But now, I wasn't so sure.
"Do you know our story?" he asked, with a soft smile on his face. I could tell it was a story he liked to tell. Or at least, his story with Alice was something he liked to talk about.
I shook my head. Every time I asked Alice about her life before the Cullen's, she would say, "We were meant to be together." But she would never elaborate any further.
"As you know, I had a very traditional vampire life before I met Alice. But that part of my story is not important, not now, at least. After I left the darkest part of my life, I became a lonely nomad. I was always sad and guilty after I hunted. I'm sure you can imagine what its like to feel the emotions of the people around you, Bella. But think of it in the perspective of the predator going after his prey. I absorbed every emotion that my prey felt, there was no escaping it."
I shuddered as he finished. Even I couldn't miss the edge of pain in his voice as he spoke about his dark past. I couldn't help but notice how this was the most he'd ever said to me. And even though his current topic was dark, I wanted to know more.
"I was in Philadelphia," he continued in a much lighter, pain free voice than before. "It had been raining, and so I went into a small diner to get out of the rain. That was where I found Alice."
Until now, I didn't hear the way he said her name. It was like a prayer from his lips. It reminded me of the way Edward said my name. Jasper talked about Alice as if she was an angel, his angel.
"She had been waiting for me. And as soon as I walked in, she turned around and smiled at me. She then got up from her stool and walked straight towards me. The smile on her face sang with hope. I find it funny sometimes when I think back to that time. I had been so confused, how could someone so little give me so much happiness? I had been thinking. Every emotion in her body buzzed with happiness, an emotion that I wasn't all too familiar with."
He stopped then, and smiled. It was the first time, I realised, that I had ever seen Jasper smile that way. "When she offered me her hand, I didn't know what I was doing. And seconds later my hand was wrapped around hers. Our eyes were black; I was so thirsty, as was she. But I refused to hunt and kill someone. What would she think of me? That was question that kept revolving around in my mind. Even though she was a vampire, I couldn't help but wonder if she would be disgusted with my past? But that wasn't the case; it was as if she didn't care what happened. Your past brought us together, that's what she would say to me. I didn't question her about it again.
"She gave me hope, offering me a better way of life. I hunted animals with her, and she told me about the coven that practiced the same diet."
His posture was more relaxed now, and the peaceful expression remained on his face as he continued.
"But it was extremely hard to stick to my new diet. She was so pure, and perfect, whereas I was not. It was difficult to look her in the eyes, or to do something more than just hold her hand. I considered it another selfish act. But her touch was like a new life to me, and I it was exactly the life that I needed. When we finally found the Cullen's, we already saw each other as mates. We already knew we were each others future. But we hadn't…" His voice trailed away from him as he looked away. And if he could, I was certain that he would be blushing. "I think you know."
It made me smile as I nodded in response. I was sure he didn't enjoy sharing such personal information as that.
"But we did, eventually. And I had thought that after I found Alice, I was complete. But it was after being with Alice, that I was truly complete. I had done it before, and I was not proud of that. That had been part of the reason that it didn't happen immediately. I always believed that my Alice deserved so much better. But she would never listen to me when I tried to convince her. I gave up, conceding that I wasn't going to change her opinion of me. She is such a stubborn thing my Alice is. Shortly after that, I asked her to marry me. My decision had been so fast, that even she hadn't seen it coming."
"That is a beautiful story." It was all I could say. I was amazed at how he talked about Alice. All you had to do was listen to him for a minute, and you would know that he loved Alice more than existence itself.
"Alice makes things beautiful," he replied with a smile. It was silent for a moment. His expression was hesitant, but he continued, "It's not going to be easy for you and Edward. It's going to be hard, and maybe more than necessary. But Edward loves you. You should never doubt his love, and if you think he was leaving because he didn't love you, then you are wrong again. He was leaving because he loves you. And in Edward's mind, that made sense."
"I know he loves me, how could I not? But I'm just a human. I'm plain, ordinary and boring. He'll see that soon, and then he would leave." My voice was low and full of anguish. But I knew Jasper would hear me.
"You're wrong, again," he said without any hesitation. "Edward isn't shallow like that." As he spoke, he took his phone out. What was he going to do now? "Bella, what do you know about Tanya?"
I was shocked at his sudden change of subject, but I tried to hide it in my expression. I nearly laughed at my stupidity. What was the point of hiding it on my face? He was an empath; he didn't need to look at my face to know what I was feeling.
"Not much," I said, shrugging. "I know she's a vampire, and that she is beautiful, like you all of you are. Oh, and that she's a succubus." And that she wants Edward, I added to myself.
"Yes, a succubus. This is Tanya," he said as he handed me the phone. I gasped quietly at what I saw on the screen. She was a beautiful, blonde haired woman. Her beauty even rivalled that of Rosalie's, who was standing next to her. I was nothing compared to that woman. I was a simple, tarnished rock, whereas she was a perfect diamond.
"Did you know that she tried to win over Edward? Different attempts, all the time. And she always received the same answer. Do you want to know what the answer was?"
I nodded through the jealously I was currently feeling. "You are not her. He always said the same thing. But you, you appeared in front of him, and you had him since the first time he laid eyes on you."
"It was my blood," I stated, not wanting to believe what he was saying. It wasn't me he wanted, it had been my blood. Maybe later he saw something in me, but I did not captivate him with my look, that was for sure. It was my blood that sang to him.
"Yes, he thought so at first. But he admitted to me that you captivated him with the first look, it was your silent mind, too. But he didn't know that at first."
I found myself look at the picture of Tanya as he spoke. What I wouldn't give to be as beautiful as her. Maybe then I would look like I deserved to stand next to Edward.
Apparently, I said that out loud, because Jasper spoke again. "I thought I made that clear, Bella? You are beautiful."
No, I'm not.
"You know that Edward would agree with me. He says that he can't find the perfect word to describe your beauty. And you are, Bella, where is your self-esteem? The whole family think you are beautiful, too."
I raised my eyebrow at him. I felt like laughing, but I held it back. I knew there was one person in the family that would love to differ.
"Fine," he said, with a slightly chuckle escaping his lips. "Maybe not Rosalie. But what do you expect? She is Rosalie, the queen of beauty. She believes that she is the only beautiful one."
"Well, thank you, Jasper, for everything that you have said to me. I wish I could agree with you, but I think we will have to meet halfway with this one. You say that I am beautiful, I say that I am a rock in the middle pretty jewels."
He opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him. "You will not convince me, Jasper. So don't even try."
He grinned at me. I'd never seen him this happy. "You are just like Alice, both of you are stubborn. I can see why you are best friends. No wonder you get along so well."
I smiled softly and looked down at my bed cover. "And you are my best friend's husband, and yet this is the first time we've ever really talked, just you and me."
"I'm sorry about that, Bella. That had been one of my many mistakes I've made with you. I was scared that if I got too close, then I would end up doing the one thing I shouldn't have. But it seems I did that anyway. I wasn't strong enough."
A harsh chuckle escaped his lips and he looked away from me.
"Hey, I don't blame you," I repeated in my most sincere voice. "And I know that you are stronger than you think."
"I attacked you, and you think I'm stronger?" he asked incredulously. "How hard did you hit your head? I heard that it is bad for humans to hit their heads, but now I know for certain that they are bad."
His voice sounded amused, but I could still see the confusion and disbelief in his eyes. Great, I thought to myself. There was yet another family member that enjoyed my accidents, falls and general clumsiness.
"I didn't hit my head, I mean it! And you are stronger, Jasper. You deal with everyone's thirst every day, and you have to be strong to do that. And what about when you are at school? How many years have you been attending Forks High? And how many times have you attacked someone whilst sitting in class?"
His silence answered my question. I already knew the answer, but I still wanted to see his reaction.
"I cut myself. It was my stupidity that made you do what you did. I should have been more careful. I should have been watching what I was doing. And so I repeat, I do not blame you for what happened, regardless of what you might say."
It was silent after I finished. I opened myself to him, letting him feel every emotion in my body. He would feel my sincerity. He would know that I wasn't lying to him. Because I didn't blame him, how could I?
"You're very accepting to my kind, Bella. Even after everything that has happened, you still believe that you were the one to blame, and that it wasn't my fault your birthday ended the way it did. If only you saw my issues with control, Bella. Maybe then you could understand better."
I sighed and shook my head at him. He thought Alice and I were stubborn? Then what was he if he wasn't stubborn, too?
"Jasper, I don't think you have control issues. In fact, I think you are good at controlling yourself in the situations you are presented with every day at school."
He smiled at the finality in my voice. "I think we will have to meet halfway with this too, Bella."
I grinned. "It's a deal."
It looked as if he was about to say something more when his phone started vibrating. It was still in my hand, which meant I was able to see who it was calling. I froze when I saw Alice's name flashing up on the screen.
I quickly passed it to him and held my breath as he answered the phone. I couldn't hear her speaking, my hearing wasn't good enough. I wasn't a vampire. I was a human. I felt like crying again. Must everything remind me of my situation?
Another wave of calm washed over me and I flashed Jasper a gratified look. But he wasn't looking at me. He was staring out of the window, as if he was looking in Alice's direction as she spoke. I didn't see his lips move, but I knew that he was speaking.
"Okay, yes. I know, I'll tell her. Yes, see you in a minute." He spoke the last part loud enough for me to hear. He placed the phone back in his pocket and turned to look at me.
"A decision has been made. Alice told me to go back to the house as Carlisle would like to talk to me."
My heart started beating a little faster in my chest as he said that a decision had been made. Why was he not telling me? Was Edward leaving? Had he already left? I could feel the panic rising up my throat, it nearly choked me.
"Bella, relax. Alice told me to tell you not to worry about anything. And you should know by now that you never bet against Alice. If she says not to worry, then you know that everything will be okay."
I shuffled closer to him on my knees. I still wasn't convinced. "Please, Jasper, take me with you back to the house," I begged. "Charlie won't be awake for hours. I just want to see him. I just want to make sure that he is still there. I can be back before Charlie notices."
Jasper pursed his lips as if in thought. But finally, he shook his head, and my heart plummeted. I really thought he would agree and allow me to come back to the house with him.
"No, Bella, I think its best if you stayed here. Someone will be over in the morning to see you. Trust me, its better if you stay here and get some sleep."
"I do trust you, but-"
He raised his eyebrow at him, effectively stopping me mid sentence. "Everything will be okay, I promise."
I tried again. "But what if-"
"Bella, stop it," he said sternly, as he sent another wave of calm at me. "You're going to drive yourself mad with all this worrying."
I didn't try to say anything more after hearing the sternness in his voice. The last thing I wanted was to get on his nerves. It seemed as if we'd only just formed a friendship. I didn't want to ruin that now.
"Okay," I mumbled, nodding. "Thank you."
He ducked his head as a lopsided smile formed on his face. It was similar to Edward's. "It was my pleasure, darlin'."
He got up from the bed then and made his way towards the window. I didn't want him to leave me alone here. But I was too chicken to ask him to stay until morning. He sent me yet another wave of calm as he opened the window.
"Someone will be here to see you tomorrow," he murmured as he leant out of the window. "Now try to get some sleep."
I nodded, even though I knew it was going to be nearly impossible for me to do that. I got up out of bed, just as he jumped from the window. I made it to the window just in time to see him running into the trees at the end of the yard.
Only seconds after he disappeared from my view, the panic started.
Did you like Jasper talking to Bella? I loved it!
If you want to find out what happens next then please review!