Disclaimer: I do not own anything

Edward's POV

I had gotten up early to help Esme run a few errands. She wanted to go up to hers and Carlisle's house to check on things. It had been such a long time since I had been up there. That last time was when Bella and I were still a couple.

Walking into my old house felt cold. Pictures of Bella and I were still up. I picked up our prom picture and sat on the couch staring at it.

"Edward look at this." Esme sat down beside me and placed a photo album on my lap.

"These are your baby pictures." She flipped through the pages slowly finally stopping at one.

"When we were in Bella's house yesterday I remembered this picture." She searched in her purse and pulled out a small frame.

"I took this from Bella's home." It was a baby picture of Kimberly.

"You two seem identical at that age." Didn't most babies look the same when they were small?

"Edward, how old is Kimberly?" She asked snapping me out of my thought.

"Four almost five I suppose." I answered.

"In estimation, let's say Bella conceived around the time you left, it takes nine maybe ten months to give birth. We've been gone nearly five years and she's almost five." She paused and looked questioningly at me. "When was the last time you and Bella were together?" She asked.

"The night before I left." I answered sadly. I remembered that night perfectly.

"We're you two being cautious?"
"Umm…" I tried remembering that little detail. "I guess not. Bella wasn't on the pill and it being the last night I didn't think anything of it. Why?" Where was she getting at?

She stayed silent and let me get lost in thought.
Since we arrived Bella had been cautious and protective, paranoid even. Especially when it came to Kimberly. Kimberly left me mesmerized from the first day I saw her. Why did she remind me of myself? If staying in range with what my mom said Bella got pregnant around the time I left.

"Because he's with his family!" She blurted out. "I didn't know he was married when I had Kimberly. It was a one night of unprotected sex and I ended up pregnant. He didn't care that I was carrying his child and that I needed him more than I ever had needed anybody. He abandoned us and never cared if we were alright. I've had the joy of raising my daughter and if it doesn't bother him that he has a child out there then it's not my problem."

One night of unprotected sex. Kimberly's father had left them when they needed him most. She said he was with his family and married.

Kimberly's hazel eyes came from parents with green and brown eyes. Her hair!

Was she talking about…? Could Kimberly…

"Let's go!" I let the album fall from my lap and ran to my car.

"Edward where are we going?" Esme asked alarmed.

"To find Bella!"

"Jasper." I dialed his number, he had to know. "Hey I need to speak to Bella, do you know where she is?"

"Thanks." She was at his house with everyone else. It didn't matter I had to know.

I speeded down the highway to Jasper's house. Maybe I was wrong but I hoped I wasn't.

--

"I need to speak with Bella." I pushed past Alice who answered the door.

Bella was in a little ball curled up on the couch with Emmett beside her. She looked mortified.

"Bella I need to know." Was all I said for everyone to get alarmed.

"Get the fuck out Cullen!" Emmett stood up thrashing a vase beside him.

"Bella he should know." Jasper added in.

Bella's crying became uncontrollable. She held her knees as if that would stop the world from spinning.

"Bella?" I asked.

"NO!" She yelled.

"He has the rights to know."
"Jasper shut up unless you want me to forget you're my friend!" Emmett threatened.

Bella looked up furry in her glance. Her soft chocolate eyes were hard and narrow.

"What do you want to know?" She asked bitterly. "What it was that happened after you left or what you did to me before leaving?"

I stayed quiet. I wanted to know everything without interrupting her.

"Do you want to know why I'm miserable and screwed up?"

Bella's POV

I wanted Emmett to take him out. I didn't want to see Edward. I didn't want to face him!

"Bella!" Jasper shouted.

"Shut up!" I fell to the ground and held onto my head. "No!"

Edward bent down in front of me and took my hands off my head. I couldn't do this. I couldn't let him know. I would lose her and she was all I had. He didn't deserve her.

I cried. He knew about Kimberly. He knew and now everything was going to change. My strength was slipping and I had no courage to with stand it. But the anger and rage flooded inside me. He had to break like I did. He was going to suffer what I did.

"The precious little girl who captured your heart is half you as she is half me." I pronounced quivering. "She's your daughter."

"You should have told me!" He cried.

"When! When Edward! When you called? Because you didn't care enough to even dial and say goodbye. When? Answer me! You never called; you never cared! I waited each night, each day for you! When I found out I was pregnant I wanted to scream it allowed so you could hear me where ever you were. You killed the Bella who loved you the night I called and learned you had plans."

"The night I called to let you know about my pregnancy was the night I found out you were engaged! Can you imagine what I felt like?" He stayed quiet drowning in his own guilty tears.

"No you don't, no one does! I felt cold and empty. I knew I had your baby growing inside of me but nothing seemed to matter because you weren't there! You were getting married and I was pregnant! It hurt thinking I had to got through it alone! I was scared to be alone! I needed you Edward! I needed you and you failed me! You weren't here and I was scared!"

"You had promised to come back." Emmett sat beside me cradling me but not even my brother could hold me together anymore, he wasn't that strong.

"Bella. I'm sorry!" Edward cried.

"What good does that do! It doesn't change anything!"

I stood up and yelled for the world to hear.

"She may be your daughter but you have never been her father! You've never been there to hold her hand when she's scared! A father is someone who protects you and is by your side guiding you! You weren't there! You left her alone! When she got sick or when she was scared at night it was me who spent sleepless nightsby her side watching over her!"

I paused and looked at Esme.

"I needed a mother to guide me. To guide me and show me what a mother was like. But no one was there! I didn't have a mother and the one person that I looked to was also gone! I had to learn on my own and I had to fight against every fear! The night I had an abortion risk I thought my life had ended. If I didn't have my baby to live for I don't know what I would have stayed breathing for."

The house was quiet except for the crying and heavy breathing.

"I learned to love in Edward's arms but what you also taught me," I paused taking in his experience and posture. He sat up against the couch, his face in his hands. "You taught me hate and envy."

My friends were crying as well. Alice was in Jasper's arms and Rose was with Emmett by my side. They were together- always.

"I'm sorry." I apologized. "When Alice had her baby Jasper was with her. He held her hand and assured her everything was alright. That they were together and that everything was perfect because they had each other. I didn't have anybody!" I cried. "I was scared and I was left alone with my baby. I was alone!"

"You made me feel envy towards my sister Edward! You made me feel what I never had felt!! And Emmett I'm sorry." I sobbed. "I saw you happy and I wanted that too. I never wanted anything form anybody but I wanted what you had."

Everything was spinning everything was wrong. I wanted the world to swallow me in.

"You don't know what it's been like." He added.

He never was going to know what I had gone through, no matter what I told him.

"You suffered? You think that the stupid pity you had for yourself was worse than what I went through?! Answer me gosh damn it! I almost lost her. I almost lost my baby for worrying about what it was that I had done to deserve it." I was crying uncontrollably and I couldn't stop. I was shattering to pieces and at this point I wanted to die.

"Bella I couldn't comeback. My family needed me!"

"What about me! If you had cared enough to have called I would have told you. Whether you wanted to be her father would have been your choice."

"Of course I want to! She my daughter!" He pinched the bridge of his nose and continued to stare blankly at the ground.

"You know how hard it was going to the park with her and have her ask why her daddy wasn't there? She asked why she was different. It broke my heart each and every time she asked the same thing. She wasn't any different than the other kids. Her father just didn't care."

My tears were dried out and I didn't care at that point. I looked around at my friends, Emmett was in tears. I smiled at my protective brother. He was always there for me no matter what. He looked out for me and Kimberly.

"Do you understand why I could never forgive you?" He was broken and for that I was thankful. He looked up and met my eyes for the first time. "I learned what love was in your arms. And I despise you for making me feel envy towards the people I love. You destroyed the pure and innocent Bella that couldn't even harm a fly. You killed her with each stab you took."

Alice was on the ground crying into Jasper, Emmett was ready to catch me and Rose was about to murder Edward with her stare. Edward was hurt but I was to numb to feel anymore. "You let me down Edward. You were the person I trusted the most. You failed me. Why Edward? Was I not good enough or was I just a toy you messed with?"

"I…"
"You crushed every dream I had. My perfect world collapsed and destiny took me through a different road."

Everyone was quiet and he didn't have any words to say.

(A/N) I don't know how good of chapter that was. Expectations for this even were high and I hope that I could somewhat meet them if not… I'm sorry I tried.

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