Plan your escape route!
Welcome back my precious dahlings!
I trust that your second rule was of some help? If not then i am sorry to hear that but i did warn you at the very beginning; when in difficult situations, you are on your own. If anyone here has a splinter from the old, rickety chair, then there is a splinter removal team stationed out the back of the hall, in fact could all those with splinters go and get them removed now please? Don't give me the 'but im scared' look it is not painful - they are experts when it comes to splinters. *waits for all to return to seats* thank you my lovelies now the time has come for your next rule straight after this advert!
*great escape music plays in the back ground* this trip can be long and treacherous, so when the time for a cunning escape comes, restore your hope with this amazing escape kit, in this kit you will find; an eight meter rope, five beads, that when hit the floor create a thick cloud of purple smoke, a small bag of fairy dust to throw at people when in a close proximity, a portable chandelier to dive onto when in trouble and a vial of invisibility potion. Also get a free Great Escape audio CD with every purchase made. As per usual reviewers get this kit free, a kit without a review costs around about three blue gemstones.
This add is brought to you by *BMF kicks advertiser off of the stage*
Sorry about that my dears; as i was saying the third rule to survival at Cackles is as follows! *searches with shot gun for advertising man*
Rule 3:
Plan your escape route!
My dears, you must do this, i didn't, and have been regretting it ever since.
When planning your escape route you cannot afford to leave a single stone unturned! Eventually i did come up with a 'cunning' plan which i will share with you later. Now the lesser obvious way is never better than an extremely conspicuous one, my reason behind this statement is that they will assume that you're not stupid enough, to choose a ridiculously simple route. Prove them wrong! They will not expect you to take the easy and risky way out of the academy! If this fails then repeat the same attempt over and over again by the tenth time or so they will not expect you to try it again. Take a tip from the hamster's hand guide which is: always run the same way as your previous escape route, this way they will think 'hmmm... well they're obviously not going to go the same way for a fiftieth time, i know let's try another route and wait for them there' trust me it works!
NO ARROWS!
Now, i know that i may have said 'be conspicuous but PLEASE; painting orange arrows to follow on rocks, is not a good plan, trust me this was my cunning plan so i know this! Have you ever heard of the expression release the hounds? Well instead of hounds, there the expression goes: release the Hb! Now she is deadly, you do not want to aggravate her or you will suffer a throbbing migraine for the rest of your trip! Trust me my dears being zapped and shrunk, then trapped in a bottle for none less than four days really is not the best way to spend your holiday!
If you have taken any advice from this rule then ignore it, unless it is from the NO ARRROWS section since i was testing your cunningness with some false advice ;) The Blue Moon Fairy will not be held responsible for any accidents that this rule may have caused. So if you didn't pay attention to this rule and are still alive after reading then please do review and collect your free escape kit!
For those who we have lost on this part of our mission, may you return safely to us in memory and soul. *throws flowers to grave*
Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust. Blue Moon Fairy away!! ;)