"You've been kinda quiet tonight babe. Is everything okay?" Casey shot a concerned glance at Olivia, walking with her shoulders hunched and a look of fierce determination on her face. The drinks hadn't relaxed her like she'd hoped, and the knowledge that she was going to be forced into a discussion with Casey about this settled in her stomach like a twenty pound weight.
"Liv?"
"Why don't you come on up with me and we'll talk," Olivia stated, noticing that they were near her apartment building. She grimaced as she realized how abrupt that sentence had sounded. "I mean, you're right that something is bothering me, but we can… This isn't coming out right and now I'm making it sound worse than it is. Just come upstairs please." Liv ended with a soft plea. Casey placed her hand on Olivia's arm, studied her briefly, and brushed a light kiss across her lips.
"Whatever it is, we'll figure it out together." Casey calmly took Olivia's hand and led her into the building.
While Olivia hung up their coats and tidied up a bit, Casey opened two Heineken and walked into the living room. "Spill it detective. Whatever has you so quiet and serious needs to be out in the open, so let's hear it." Casey was always "no nonsense" in her communication with Olivia. Whether it was at work or play she was a straight-shooter, something Olivia relied on when she struggled to share her thoughts.
Taking a deep breath Olivia began, "I ran into Abbie the other day. She's back. From Texas."
"Okay," Casey replied slowly, "So, how are you feeling?"
The question broke through Olivia's stoic attitude. Her eyes welled up and her throat constricted as she answered in a whisper, "I don't know." She looked helplessly at her girlfriend, her best friend, wanting more than anything to have an answer that sounded more reassuring. But her response was truthful. Since the moment Abbie rounded that corner, Olivia's life had been in turmoil. She couldn't catch her breath, let alone think this through rationally.
"Do you love her? Do you want to try again? Does she want to work this out? Did you talk about this with her?" Casey rapid-fired questions in Olivia's direction, rising from the couch to pace and think, not really expecting Olivia to answer. Crossing the room to the window, Casey gazed out at the New York City skyline. "Strike those questions, Liv, and answer this one – Do you love me?"
"God yes, Casey!" Olivia exclaimed vehemently. "That hasn't changed. The moment we met I knew that you and I would have something special, something powerful. You soothed and healed me. You made me whole again." Olivia's tear-stained eyes met Casey's tormented gaze, and Olivia stood up to embrace Casey firmly. "Never think I don't love you," she whispered fiercely into Casey's ear, holding her tightly.
For a moment Casey allowed herself to be held by this woman, enjoying the familiar strength of her arms, the softness of her body, the unique scent that was so much a part of Olivia. 'Olivia is mine' Casey thought over and over, until she was certain that it was true. Pulling back she looked into Olivia's eyes and calmly commanded, "Then go figure this mess out with Abbie. I'll be here for you when you've had time to think." Kissing Olivia once more, she then headed resolutely out the door and into the cold city night.